Gender of the day: Terrible beast in the woods with sharp teeth, blood and slobber running down from them in equal measure, with eyes that reflect light in the dark, and that you only see in totality moments before your death
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@reeama-the-mage
Gender of the day: Terrible beast in the woods with sharp teeth, blood and slobber running down from them in equal measure, with eyes that reflect light in the dark, and that you only see in totality moments before your death
If I were an evil emperor in a fantasy world, I would have a an enormous aviary full of exotic birds that are exceptionally well cared for. They would be from a distant enough land that there would be very few people in my kingdom that knew much about them, they would be a friendly but not overly territorial species, and moderately intelligent. Like puffins. They would not, crucially, be able to imitate sounds and 'speak', but they would be very trainable and curious. Occasionally importing new birds for my aviary would be the Big Frivolous Indulgence that my political enemies make fun of.
I will also have a sorceror in my employ. When a hero or a renegade or a political rival is in a situation where I can safely kill them, they will instead be turned into a bird and added to my aviary. I would not brag about this; it would be a complete secret, known only to me and my sorceror. In situations where I capture multiple people working together, only one would go in the aviary;the others can be imprisoned or killed or whatever. If they escape and I reacquire them later, another one can go in the aviary. The point here is that nobody going in the aviary can safely assume that another bird in there is their teammate.
Because I would be trickling real birds in there, too. And I would train some of them to do 'intelligent' things like tap out prime numbers or scratch shapes into the dirt with their beaks. I would train some of them to pick at the locks and bars as if they were trying to escape. I would not train them all the same way, or train many of them at all.
Sometimes, a new bird goes into the aviary -- fellow revolutionary? Or just a bird? Is it trying to communicate to you that it's human, or just being friendly and imitating you because that's what smart friendly birds do? People would develop opinions and theories over time. They'd amass in a group of the smartest ones, pretty sure that they're closest four or five friends are humans, are using their invented little language of wing-flaps and trills with a human mind behind it... but can they ever really be sure?
Most people, when going into the aviary, would assume that all of the birds are captured enemies. So why are some of them hard to have ongoing communication with, to learn about, to plan with? Are these the natural communication barriers of someone in a bird body, or does being a bird make them stupider over time? Will that happen to them also?
Sometimes, if I capture a pair, I'll imprison them separately, then turn one into a bird and put them in the aviary at the same time as a real bird that's trained to have a couple of their partner's mannerisms.
When I interact with the birds, even in private, I won't secretly mock them or make clever veiled references to their past or act at all like I remember that they were once human. They are my birds, that I imported at great expense. And I've brought a treat for them; some fresh fruit, and another friend to share it with! A new bird!
Or is it?
I love that half the notes are "this is horrifying, what a nightmare" and the other half are "I wish that somebody would do this to me"
they need to come up with more words like necrosis and miasma and mausoleum and cadaver and morose and decrepit and stuff like that just so metal bands can expand their vocabulary
Your niche sublabel sexuality is just bisexual with transmisogyny grafted on it
If I have to hear another IRL explain their sexuality as bisexual so long as the other person doesn't have a dick, I'll kill
I'm sorry but if the only meaningful thing about your hyper specific label you found on the MOGAI wiki is that you can be bi without having to like trans women, please stop and think
This has happened multiple times
can we make contact with aliens already im losin hope here
I posted this because i want to have sex with the aliens
we've all got that friend who's a little too ²
Any tips for panel layout for pacing? I feel like yours really lends itself to the stories u tell.
thank u. its random comic tips which may or may not answer your question time, cookie edition
did that help
why does the word lullaby have no english adjective declension. it deserves one. i want to describe things of or as pertaining to lullabies!! the sketchiest most untrustworthy "dictionaries" on the internet are trying to convince me that lullabylike is a real word they promise, don't even worry that real dictionaries show zero results for it. but look at it: lullabylike. ugly. i wholly reject it. instead, i propose lullabic
lullabilicious 👅
"you understand" is a common phrase exchanged between perverts
What??
No. It isn't.
TinEye is your friend. There are 26 pages of results for this picture going back 8 years, long before the theft machines started running.
COME ONNN
A simple error got magnified by Flock's nationwide surveillance camera network and ended with four cop cars boxing me in.
Oh hey! Look! It's that thing everyone on the left said was going to happen happening!
“The plates on this car are stolen,” Officer Ganshyn said. My face must’ve twisted in disbelief because he continued, saying they weren’t sure whether the car itself or just the plates were stolen. This made absolutely no sense. Car companies keep meticulous track of the fleets they loan out to the media. The vehicles all have special manufacturer or dealer plates that are logged every time one enters or exits. The officers eventually ran the Range Rover’s VIN, and it came back clean, but in their view, the plates were definitely stolen.
Before I could even process that, another officer dropped the big surprise: they’d actually been tracking me around town for days via Flock cameras. But they kept losing the trail, so when a camera alerted them that the Range Rover had been spotted turning into Kohl’s that morning, they quickly set up their ambush and waited for me and my wife to walk out of the store and get into the SUV.
[…]
One of the officers pulled out his phone, opened the Flock app, and showed me two photos: a wide shot of the Range Rover going through the intersection and a zoomed-in shot of the New Jersey license plate, which clearly reads 34 10 DTM and says VEHICLE MFR along the bottom. Critically, the number 10 is in a much smaller font than the rest of the tag, which is the non-standard structure New Jersey uses for manufacturer plates.
[…]
The New Jersey plates that were allegedly stolen from the LA dealer were 34 03 DTM, not 34 10 DTM. But when the police report was created and the plate was entered into Flock’s system, it was just recorded as 34 DTM. Just the five large characters, no little number in the middle. And Flock’s AI tech wasn’t registering that non-standard little number when it began picking up the Range Rover around town. It just saw 34 DTM in large type and started alerting the local police.
As we all stood there shaking our heads, including my wife, who was finally allowed to join me, I connected the final dot. A lot of vehicles in JLR’s media fleet have a New Jersey manufacturer plate with the same alphanumeric structure—34 ## DTM—and Officer Ganshyn observed that meant it was now a nationwide issue. Anywhere a police department has a partnership with Flock, any other JLR-owned car with the same plate structure is going to get flagged as stolen. In fact, four other 34 ## DTM cars were being tracked around Minnesota that week, according to Officer Ganshyn. I was just the first one to get nabbed. The only way to stop it would be for the LAPD to correct their initial report and update Flock’s system, which Jaguar Land Rover was now racing to make happen following the phone call.
Still, he warned me to drive straight home, park the Range Rover, and leave it there. If I were to cross into the neighboring town, I’d probably get flagged again and go through this entire ordeal again with a different set of officers. His parting words were ominous: “You’re lucky we’re in Plymouth. If you were in Minneapolis, they definitely would’ve come at you with guns drawn.”
8 July 2026
im gonna make it big someday just you watch
*goes back to jerkin it*
waaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitt
Anything you do while wearing a sports bra is technically a sport. Scrolling through tumblr might not seem like a sport to you, but it is to your boobs! They're locked in! They're focused! They're competing! They're playing to win!
Shout out to Linda. The he/him asexual woman from my psychology quiz from a few years ago
queer discourse final boss