GENTLE SOUL

*:･✧. REED PALMER ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEACHER *:･✧.

[reedpalmcr]

connorgrace:

Connor could see reed was still beating himself up about it. He felt rotten, he never wanted Reed to hurt like that. It didn’t matter to him that he himself had been hurt, or that he has cried over him. What mattered to him was Reed. He wasn’t a malicious person, he didn’t have a bad bone in him. He couldn’t be held responsible for wanting to follow his dreams. Connor didn’t stop him from leaving because he didn’t want him to resent him, he didn’t want Reed to look back one day and tell him that Connor had smothered him. He knew he could be intense. “Hey - hey -” he tucked his arms around the smaller man and nuzzled his face against the hair on the top of his head. It was messy and sprinkled with glitter but Connor did not mind, beneath it all it still smelt strongly of Reed and the comfort it gave Connor. “Stop. I need you to stop, just stop being sad about it. We can’t be sad anymore, not about the past. You’re here now, I’m here now.” He lifted Reed’s face upwards so that he could look into his eyes and brushed his thumb across his cheekbone. “You’re my baby boy, you never stopped being my baby boy.”

The closeness of Connor felt so incredibly wonderful. The arms around him were so safe and warm. It was like being home again. Unlike the last time the two had held one another, the mood was so much lighter and Reed could actually enjoy the affection he was being given. As sad as he had been before, he let himself enjoy this moment. Who knew how long it would last. Letting his body completely relax against the taller figure’s, the smile on his face would have widened if it were humanly possibly. When he was told to stop, Reed held his breath and gripped Connor tighter, the smile on his face faltering a bit. The last thing he wanted was to ruin the mood and destroy what they’d just shared. “I’m sorry I–” Reed only blinked up at Connor when his head was lifted up. Feeling those eyes meet his own, he shivered. How he’d missed those eyes–bright and green and loving. He felt like a damn school boy again with a crush looking at him. Biting his lip, he nodded in understanding and wobbled a bit on his feet. Maybe he did need to stop thinking about it so much. Nothing good ever came of wallowing in pity. The feeling of Connor’s thumbs brushing over his face pulled him out of thought. His words shook Reed to his very core and brought back that ridiculous smile. Despite his head being foggy with alcohol, nothing was more clear to him. There was no other way to tell him. “I love you...”

[reedpalmcr]

connorgrace:

He had missed him. In the space of 24 hours he had felt like a part of him had been missing. All they had done that night was cuddle, they couldn’t even speak their minds, too afraid to ruin what was happening between them. They had gone so long without one another that it was nice to just simply cuddle. Standing there with Reed in his line of sight, looking beautiful as ever with that wide grin on his face - he had to compose himself. He was so happy to have him back, this was all he wanted. This was the man he wanted to spend his life with. He walked towards him and caught his hand before he reached for his drink, subtly distracting the other from his alcohol. Reed was already way past his limit, and the last thing Connor wanted to be doing was wiping vomit away from Reed’s face. He was a lightweight, and sometimes he didn’t know his limits. Connor held the boys hand and lead him back away from the bar. “Of course I came, I wanted to see you.” He swayed with him gently, moving in time with the music that could be heard outside and glanced at the glitter that was rubbing off onto his own body. “You did want me to find you, didn’t you?” He was gentle with him, hoping that he would sober up soon enough for them to actually be able to make adult decisions. He wanted to start over with Reed, it had to be with sober minds.

Feeling a hand take his own, Reed glanced back to see where the two of them now touched. He felt a little breathless suddenly but in a rather good way. It had been a while since they’d actually held hands and it reminded him of so many other times like this, times he was happily whisked away by Connor. Before he could complain about not getting another sip of his drink, he was being pulled off his bar stool and lead toward the center of the place where people had been standing and dancing around. Reed wasn’t much of a dancer so he felt a little awkward, but he trusted Connor implicitly. Now being swayed to the sound of the music, Reed couldn’t help but feel his already rosy cheeks turn red with embarrassment. He found himself unable to look away from Connor and despite his embarrassment he was still smiling like a fool. “I don’t know what I wanted,” he answered honestly. “I just know I’m happy to see you...But after the other night...” he trailed off and let himself fall closer to the other with a sigh. “I felt so ashamed. I–I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to tell you...”

[reedpalmcr]

connorgrace:

Despite being the same age - Reed actually being more than a few months older than Connor - the taller of the two always felt like the old man between them. He didn’t really get drunk, nor did he talk to people he’d never met before. He was shy in comparison to Reed. Actually, he was shy in comparison to most. Walking towards the man he loved, he began to feel a little silly and wondered if he really should have come. “I -” He looked around, the overwhelming sense of dread hitting him. He didn’t want him and Reed to have any bad blood here, he didn’t want things to be difficult, he wanted it to be nice and light and fun. He wanted to be gay - in every sense of the word. “I was hoping I’d find you here.” He took in the sight of him and laughed a little. Reed looked festive, really festive. It was like a gay unicorn had just birthed him, but it was adorable to say the least.

Having been talking about his situation with Connor with the couple, it was obvious they knew who he was now. They turned away, chuckling to themselves and ordering another round. It would just be the two of them now. Reed wasn’t sure why he was so surprised. Connor said he was going to come and was a man of his word. Maybe it was because of how things went the first night they saw one another. He figured Connor wanted nothing to do with him or at least wanted his space. The last place Reed expected Connor to come alone to was a busy bar. Normally, he would have been a little self conscious about the way he looked in front of Connor. He probably looked a like a little a mess–covered in temporary tattoos, stickers, and glitter, his hair undoubtably a mess pushed up on end and grinning like a fool. But drunk, all inhibitions were lost. Reed didn’t care what he looked like or whether or not he was smiling like a dumb high schooler in love. He couldn’t help that he liked Connor more than he could physically handle. “You really came.” It was kind of sweet that he’d come all this way just on his account. “And you’re even in the pride spirit.” Reed laughed with a wide smile and reached back for his drink.

[connorgrace]

Connor’s intentions were to come to pride the following day with his daughter - due to prior engagements he hadn’t had much time to spare for the festival today. But, his meeting had ended early and even though Connor wanted to go, he wasn’t feeling up to it. He told himself that there was still tomorrow and he’d be in a better mind, then. That was until he’d gotten Reed’s texts. The jealous ex boyfriend/potential boyfriend in him was still a little weary of those that might be ogling his beau. So he left Abigail with the caretaker and made his way towards the music and flamboyant colours. He wasn’t mad, no, there was no real negative emotion that he felt as he left to find Reed - he was only filled with concern and perhaps a little excitement to see the other man. It did take him a while to find him at first, but soon enough he managed to discover the bar where they sold the drinks Reed had mentioned he’d been drinking. Someone had already thrown beads over his shoulder on his way to him, forcing him to look the part. “Reed!”  @reedpalmcr

[reedpalmcr]

Getting drunk had not originally been his intention. However, Reed’s evening had transformed into something rather interesting after he’d polished off his first drink. He never intended on finishing the first cocktail he bought, but he hadn’t been able to stop himself as he neared emptying the glass. The bartender was rather nice, making sure his water glass was refilled so he could keep hydrated and making him laugh on occasion. Apparently, there was a lot of alcohol in this drink. He couldn’t really taste it beneath the fruity flavors that masked it, which is maybe why he ordered a second one. A few other people had joined next to him, keeping him occupied with easy conversation about Pride. They’d talked and laughed and shown one another their temporary pride tattoos. With a few extras, they’d even given each other tramp stamps with them. The room was high energy, just what Reed liked, full of people, music and laughter. After his text conversation with Connor, he’d abandoned the fruity drink to take a shot of Tequila with the couple he’d been sitting with–something he hadn’t done since college. When he heard his name, Reed turned to look in the direction he thought it came from. Squinting from his seat at the bar, he finally caught sight of the familiar face. So he really had gone to all the trouble to actually find him. “Connor?”

[reedpalmcr]

[ ✉ → text  ]

Connor: you can, but i want you to be careful

Connor: not when you're so drunk you can barely type a coherent sentence.

Reed: i can top

Reed: *too

Reed: shit

[reedpalmcr]

[ ✉ → text  ]

Connor: no, you're not. you're drinking your feelings.

Connor: besides, what if some guy tries to take advantage of you?

Reed: im a gronw up i can drikn my feelins if i wnt to

Reed: i culd fitgh him tbh no problm

[reedpalmcr]

[ ✉ → text  ]

Connor: Don't move, okay?

Connor: I'm coming to find you.

Connor: And keep your phone close.

Reed: no wht im only on yllow

Reed: cnnor

Reed: connor im fien

Reed: *fine

[reedpalmcr]

[ ✉ → text  ]

Connor: where are you?

Reed: drinkin a RAINBOW

Reed: can u believe weve advancd tht far

Reed: ppl can drink rainbws now

Reed: scienc is amaZING RIGHT

Reed: #happypride

[reedpalmcr]

[ ✉ → text  ]

Connor: I shouldn't have let you go without putting up a fight

Reed: wht a mess weve made huh

Reed: now i knw why ppl say dont drink whn ur sad

[reedpalmcr]

[ ✉ → text  ]

Connor: it might have been nice to have had a heads up

Connor: but there were a lot of things I should have told you, too

Reed: Im srry

Reed: I hsouldnt hve left yuo

[reedpalmcr]

doctorxluca:

Luca was glad that Reed wasn’t put off by his rambling.  “Yeah, her mother really loves her, so even though we’re not together anymore, Athena is still the number one priority for both of us,” Luca stated, which was how it should be.  He was glad that despite their differences, Luca and Olivia could agree on that.  “Maybe you will, but I think she’ll be a handful,” Luca told Reed, though he was smiling, not totally serious.  “She asks a lot of questions, like questions that I don’t always know how to answer, which you just witnessed,” he continued.  “That’s why I’ve already explained to her that daddy likes girls and boys.  Normally I would have waited until she was a little older to have that conversation, but sometimes there’s no waiting with her.  I kept it simple for her sake though obviously.”

“Twenty little ones is a bit of a handful already,” Reed laughed. “I’m sure putting Athena in the mix wouldn’t be too bad.” Although it was difficult to answer his student’s questions sometimes, he found himself often being fond of those who were persistent in their curiosity. He was the same way growing up and a small part of him found it rather charming. Casting a quick look around the crowd he grinned. “Well, I think it’s wonderful you’re exposing her to all of this,” Reed said as he gestured around them. “I know a lot of parents who would say this is all too garish for children. I think it’s a shame more parents don’t include their children in events like this...”

[reedpalmcr]

connorgrace:

They didn’t need to say anything else and Connor didn’t want to. They both had done wrong by one another and no one was perfect, they got that. What Reed needed, what Connor needed was to be close to one another. He wasn’t feeling particularly sexy right now so it only made sense that the two of them would hold each other. Reed had only just come back, Connor didn’t know how long he was going to be around and he was too scared to ask. He thought that if he let himself be intimate with Reed so quickly, he might lose sight of what had happened between them. They’d always been a sexual couple, though there were definitely some stronger elements to their relationship - it was easy for Connor to forget himself when he had Reed in his bed. When it came to the other, he was a man possessed by lust and love. He sighed when Reed relaxed against him, his small frame still fit so perfectly against his own. His arms closed in around the smaller man as he brought him closer to his body. He needed this, it felt better than anything else Reed could give him. It felt like love, something he had been lacking ever since he’d waved Reed goodbye. They made so many terrible choices during their times together, often leaving Connor confused and heartbroken. He was always too scared to come forward, to make the first move, to call on Reed to make things better. And Reed, he moved on so quickly but even Connor could tell none of them were ever a good match. “Let’s just stay like this…” The dark haired man murmured as he pressed his face into Reed’s hair, his lips placing a delicate kiss atop of his head.

Deep down Reed knew there hadn’t been a way to have contacted Connor or even his family at the places he worked. They were remote places without phones or even running water. But at the moment, he really did blame himself for the other’s misery. After’s Connor’s suggestion, Reed didn’t say anything. Aside from the occasional sniffle here and there, he was quiet. What else was he suppose to say? There was nothing, no words that could fix what he’d done or what had happened to Connor. Words wouldn’t bring Konrad back or mend his aching heart. As far as Reed was concerned, his words were hollow and empty now, they meant nothing. It was difficult to allow himself to relax any further when he knew now how badly he’d hurt Connor. Never in his life had he thought that he’d cause someone so much pain. It was honestly a little unsettling. Maybe he shouldn’t have left. He should have stayed in Everwood to be with him, to take care of him. After looking at what he’d done, it seemed so selfish that he would leave. Sure it had been an amazing opportunity but at what cost? So far his travel had seemed to nearly cost him Connor. What if he’d come back when he was with someone else? It would have torn the two of them apart inside knowing what could have been was lost because of distance. Allowing himself to stay relaxed as possible, he sighed and tried to slow his breathing. He felt like a child crying, upset over spilt milk. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “Please...How can I fix this?”

[dylobrians-deactivated20220405]

[reedpalmcr]

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[ Connor Grace ]

Reed: I though t about yuo almots everyday i was away yknow

Reed: I should hav e told you

[reedpalmcr]

connorgrace:

Connor wished Reed didn’t have to see him like this, but unfortunately, this was the time he chose to come back and Connor had not yet managed to work through his pain. He should have been used to it by now, watching people walk out on him - it had been happening since he was a child. He just thought that at some point in his life, someone would want to stay. The quietness was not unwelcome, but it was a little unsettling. He wanted to know what was going on in Reed’s mind. He’d forgotten what he’d sounded like after all this time, Connor simply wanted to lay there listening to him. “I’ve pictured you coming back so many times and every scenario that I’ve played in my mind - it never turned out like this.” Connor looked down, ashamed of himself for being so vulnerable and soft. “You know me better than anyone. This isn’t like me…” He didn’t mean to dump all of his baggage on Reed - but maybe it was long overdue. After all they had been through, Connor had always accepted the choices Reed had made and stepped aside. He’d been patient, for his sake, because Reed deserved all the things that made him happy. But he kept coming back and Connor, the ever obedient ex boyfriend, was always there waiting to pick up where they had left off. He didn’t want to be mad at Reed, but a small part of him was. When he smiled a second time, Connor knew it was for his benefit - so he kissed his cheek. He needed Reed to know that he still held his heart, no matter what had happened in the past, Connor was still his whether they liked it or not.

“I’m sorry,” Reed said quietly. “I should have told you I was coming back sooner.” Heavy tears still streamed down his cheeks uncontrolably and the shame stayed lodged uncomfortably in his chest. In all honesty, he wasn’t entirely sure if that would have helped anything, but at least Connor might have had better time to prepare. His head hung heavily between his shoulders as his eyes stared down at his lap. It had been a long time since he’d felt like this–a teenager, scared of commitment and feeling empty after every break up. Reed had a lot of partners in high school, probably too many. But he never felt complete unless he had someone to share his life with. Whether he realized it or not, he had always been overly dependent on others. While it wasn’t like Connor to act like this, it was like Connor to let it all blow up in his face. He tended to keep everything inside, tucked away and hidden until he burst at the seams. It wasn’t his fault though, it was just the way he processed emotion. The kiss on his cheek warmed his skin, making a small part of him melt. Reed leaned against Connor without another word, eyes closing as he cherished the closeness they now shared. It felt so magical to be back in his arms, to feel his warmth and protection. He didn’t want any of this to end, but he wasn’t even sure where to begin. Did this mean they had to start all over again? While it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing to do, Reed missed what they’d had all those months ago. If only they could just pick up where they left off. With a long, heavy sigh, he sank against Connor’s chest and clung to him.

[reedpalmcr]

doctorxluca:

“Oh, really?” Luca asked, impressed.  "That’s a really good school.  It’s where I’m planning to send Athena in a couple of years.“  While Luca wasn’t one of those people who thought his daughter couldn’t get a good education in a public school, he had the money, so why not send her to St. Intercisus?  Laughing, Luca replied, "You could say that.  Her mother is a…free spirit, or at least she was.  I don’t really know her anymore.  Mostly I just see her when it’s her turn for Athena.  Luckily we’re amicable for her sake, and we get her equally…and I hate saying it that way because it makes Athena sound like a possession, but I don’t know how else to describe it.”  Blushing, Luca said, “And here I am rambling.  Sorry.”

“It is, I’m lucky to be teaching there.” Reed stood quietly amongst the crowd and listened to Luca speak about Athena’s mother. It might have been boring or annoying to anyone else, but he secretly enjoyed it. He always loved learning about people, regardless of what the subject was. It felt as though he was allowed a small peek into their life. Guessing by how he spoke of the woman, they were separated. “Oh no, it’s fine I don’t mind.” Reed assured with a chuckle. Maybe he’d change the subject for Luca’s sake. “Maybe in a few years I’ll see Athena in one of my classes.” He looked back at the young girl with the balloon and smiled. “I’m sure she’d be a joy to have in class.”

[reedpalmcr]

sebastianxchase:

Sebastian shrugged his shoulders softly. “I mean, why not? If you can make it look good then I think that would be super awesome. What if you did a rainbow star? I think I would like that the most if that is something you can do.” He suggested to the other. “I just never thought that these things were for me, seeing as I am not part of the LGBT community.” He said to Reed. “But I still love to support and whatnot.”

“Yeah,” Reed was certain he could make it look good. "I like a challenge." Reed chuckled and pulled out a small face paint kit from his backpack. Tucking the small brush between his teeth, he popped open a few of the colors and looked up at the man’s face. “Are you sure?” Stepping a little closer toward him he bit his lip and examined the skin of his cheek. That should work perfectly. He didn’t know why he was a little surprised to hear that he wasn’t in the community–not everyone at Pride was queer. “Oh,” Reed looked down at the small set of paints and dipped the tip of the brush in carefully. “Well, thank you for coming anyway. It’s nice to know we have your allyship.”