Hi. @reeljam - Tumblr Blog

Based off this post by @7-inches-of-satanic-panic

I know that some British people take umbrage at Americans calling the Great British Bake Off relaxing, but it's just because GBBO is such a different kind of stressful from American baking shows.

American baking shows will be called something like "Cupcake Knife Fight", there's horror movie lighting everywhere and dramatic stings every 5 seconds. All of the contestants are shit talking each other and fist fighting over the one single deep fryer provided by production. It will show the judges all whispering to each other at their super villain table overlooking the whole kitchen, and one will be like, "Oh my god. Everyone look at Brenda right now. She's straight tanking it." And it will cut to Brenda, who is running around covered in flour and crying and also bleeding for some reason. Then you get a clip from an interview with one of the contestants, and they're like, "I really need to win this. Without this award money, I'm gonna need to close my restaurant, sell my dad, and live out of my car. AGAIN." Then the giant digital doomsday clock overhead lets out a horrid klaxon, the judges tell half of them that their cupcakes taste disgusting, and one of them gets eliminated and sent to walk down the dramatically-lit shame hallway never to be seen again.

Meanwhile GBBO is in a lovely, brightly colored tent, there are delightful and friendly hosts/jesters there to keep everyone entertained, and all of the B Roll is of like... a bumblebee going into a flower, or a lamb running in a field. And yes, there will be moments where someone will mess up their timing or something, and they'll be looking at their bake through the oven door like, "oh gosh I don't think this will rise in time!" Then they stand up to find Paul Hollywood directly behind them ominously. His creepy whitewalker eyes will glow white, and he'll say something like "the 12th of June. 2035. Drowning." And his eyes will go back to normal and he'll walk away. Then the baker gives a playful grimace to the camera and says "that didnt sound great, did it?". Cut to a sweet looking older woman sipping tea on a stool and she says "oo I do hope that Prue enjoys the taste of my sugary, sticky baps!". Then, at the end, someone gets a gold star for doing good, and the loser of the episode gets in the middle of a giant group hug. You see all of them at the end of the series at a giant carnival with their families and the post credits informs you that all of the contestants have become a Partridge Family-style traveling band and stayed friends forever.

atlinmerrick

NOT ONE WORD OF A LIE, not one. American reality shows are verbal knife fights where misery is manufactured if it doesn't appear naturally.

Meanwhile GBBO has every color, shape, and demeanor of person in the human species, they loan each other spatulas, and sometimes a paperbag is fondant and a lion is edible. It's just. GBBO is my comfort watch.

rustmarty

what it feels like losing another mutual to that 911 show where those guys havent even fucked yet

frenzyarts

I’m a magician in the sheets 😏 *pulls a rabbit out of my pussy*

give-grian-rights

-Mary Toft, 1726

the-dumb-smart-friend

Hold on I need to look something up

the-dumb-smart-friend

What

give-grian-rights

yeah. sorry

turnipoddity

last joke

arelliann

For a show set in the 80s it doesn't contain nearly enough of the slutty himbo jock uniform

cavillsteve

yabakuboi

"Dude," Steve says, pressing on his eyes because he feels like he's about to cry. "What the fuck."

"What?" Dustin squeaks, alarmed. "What? Steve, you're freaking me out!"

"Good!" Because Steve just worked eighteen hours and it's past midnight and he got thrown up on twice and there was a bed pan incident and even though he showered at the hospital he probably smells awful and it rained and he lost his keys so he had to take the bus and he's sweaty and tired and wet and cold and Dustin's DnD friend is hot. "I can't believe you'd do this to me!" Okay, maybe Steve's feeling a little delirious.

"Do what??" Dustin is full on shrieking right now. His hot friend is standing in their apartment looking more and more worried and hot.

"You didn't tell me he was hot!"

The expressions that go across Dustin's face is impressive, before they stop and he settles on a flat glare. "Seriously??"

Hot guy is now blushing and Steve will collapse if he doesn't keep with the righteous fury.

"I've been TRYING to get you two to meet for months now!"

"You didn't tell me he was hot, though! Dustin!!"

"I don't know what guys are hot, Steve!" Dustin says indignantly. "I thought you didn't like nerds!"

"Dustin!"

"Um," says hot guy. He looks like he's panicking.

Dustin's face changes again. "Oh, no. Oh, no, you're right."

"All this time!" Steve says and he really is close to tears. "You've been nagging on me all this time to find my soulmate, and you had the perfect guy right here?? You had him in my home??? Dustin!"

"Whoa," whispers hot guy.

"I'm sorry," Dustin wails now, just as distraught. "You love nerds, all your favorite people are nerds, I don't know what I was thinking, oh my god!" He whirls on hot guy. "Eddie, give Steve your number right now!"

"Okay," says hot guy Eddie, immediately. His face is super red and his eyes are wide, and he looks scared out of his mind as he fumbles his pocket for his phone. "Yeah-Yep-Absolutely. This is a thing that's happening."

Steve, tears burning in his eyes, watches as Dustin punches his number into Eddie's phone. "Okay," he says a little nasally, wiping quickly at his face. "Okay, I'm going to shower and then sleep for two days, and then pretend like this never happened so I can look hot guy in the eye when he asks me on a date. Sound good?"

"Sounds great!" Dustin says, all cheery now. Behind him, still looking vaguely scared for his life, hot guy gives him a shaky thumbs up.

corrodedbisexual

All beautiful longing looks aside, if I had to describe this ship using one single screenshot this would be it hands down

clawsfangs

HELLOOO steddie nation we are so fucking back

littleststarfighter

Fancied drawing a cute soft pic where they are all tired out. Did they mean to crash out like that? What will Steve think of his leg hugging tendencies? Or will Eddie blush and mumble to find Steve sleeping practically between his legs?

Almost didn't share this as I wasn't very happy with the faces. But in the end I thought it's not so bad.

lilpomelito

not that joe keery isn’t a very attractive man but i absolutely love the mythos the fandom has constructed around steve’s beauty like he’s somehow simultaneously the most beautiful creature you’ll ever encounter in your life and just some guy. fic writers become divinely possessed by the muses when describing this guy’s moles. i’ve never felt more secure about my own brown eyes than when i read what people write about steve harrington’s otherworldly beautiful brown eyes. he’s both unobtainable handsome and your boy next door.