And this, right here, is a prime example of internalized hatred within the queer community. I am a gay identifying cis-gendered male and have been in numerous relationships: Met a guy through an app and had sex on the first night, met a guy at a cafe and dated a few times before we even began to cuddle, met a closeted male at his frat party and remained a discreet couple for several months.
I’ve been called easy. I’ve been called a prude.
We should all keep somethings in mind:
Firstly, some people use apps like Grindr and Tinder because it’s not easy being gay (or queer). We don’t have the privilege of walking into a busy cafe and thinking, “I can literally ask any one of you out.” No, gay men do not have that kind of access. Rather, we must think to ourselves, “I think that one guy sitting in the corner is gay. I wonder if he is single, nonthreatening, and cool.” Apps make it easier to meet other queers in our limited dating pool.
Secondly, some people like sex. Some like having sex on the first date. Some like having sex before the first date. Some like having sex and not dating. Some like to wait a few dates. SEX POSITIVITY means understanding and respecting the fact that there are varying degrees of priorities within the dating/sex world. Can we stop slutshaming and actually unify our disjointed gay community?
Thirdly, to say that “one guy and one guy only” is the only route is to be ignorant and disrespectful to those who enjoy/participate in open-relationships and polyamory.
PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE OF YOUR FELLOW QUEER COUSINS. WE’RE ALREADY A MARGINALIZED GROUP. LET’S NOT FURTHER ATTACK ONE ANOTHER.
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