Derrick Drygeese

"My regrets are for the people I couldn't save." Nineteen years old; 12th grade student. ---- [Part of Home of the Panthers.] #derricktoodeepfordillondrygeese

[carataylor-hotp]

Cupcakes prepared!

[regretshaveneverknown]

Thanks, Cara. Bring 'em over to my place. Case you forgot, it's at [Derrick's address here]. Door's unlocked so just let yourself in.

[rpteas-deactivated20200707]

Alright, cool. I’ll let everyone know about it, as well.

[regretshaveneverknown]

Thanks. For the help. I owe you one.

[jetblckcake]

Visit Original Link

[rpteas-deactivated20200707]

How exciting! I love surprise parties. I’ll definitely be there.

[regretshaveneverknown]

Alright. I hope it is. Exciting, and good. I want him to have a fun day. And be happy. Uh, my address is [Derrick's address here]. Door's open, so just head on in.

[rpteas-deactivated20200707]

What surprise? I feel offended that I wasn’t invited, to be honest.

[regretshaveneverknown]

It's a surprise birthday party for Ryder Blake. Everyone's going to gather at my place, hide, then I'm going to bring Ryder over and yeah. He doesn't know, thankfully.

[regretshaveneverknown]

Can everyone who is going to that surprise I planned reply to this? We'll need to gather soon. Remember, no drugs or alcohol. Boring, I know.

[lilyxxfletcher-blog]

About what exactly? 

[regretshaveneverknown]

Something. Stop asking, I'm not going to explain.

[lilyxxfletcher-blog]

You thought i meant what?

[regretshaveneverknown]

Nothing. I was just confused.

[lilyxxfletcher-blog]

My own feelings can wait til when I’m on my own .. that’s the simple fact of the matter. They can wait. It’s not like they’re nearly as important as others so.. they can wait to be dealt with. It’s not stupid, not if yo learn to prioritize properly. 

[regretshaveneverknown]

Oh. I thought you meant-- yeah. Never mind. What you said makes sense.

[lilyxxfletcher-blog]

It’s one of the worst feelings.. 

[regretshaveneverknown]

Yes. It is. There's nothing wrong with letting yourself feel upset or angry, though. You don't always have to be strong for other people. What about yourself? It's courageous to think of others, but it can also be stupid too. Don't ever think your own pain isn't worth the time just because other people are hurting too.

[lilyxxfletcher-blog]

Y’know that feeling where everything is going on in your head and everything is just so overwhelming and if one more thing happens you don’t think you’ be able to cope but you’re like, you have to keep smiling because other people are hurting much more than you and you’re on of the lucky ones … yeah, that sucks. 

[lilyxxfletcher-blog]

[regretshaveneverknown]

Yes. I know that feeling.

[regretshaveneverknown]

32 49 56 83 91

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

"They’re okay," Derrick said, almost absently, "the movies made nowadays aren’t scary. They’re just loud noises and stupid jumps to make you flinch."

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

Derrick laughed now; the sound was loud, but void of humour. Almost dark - unsettled. Shaking his head, he leaned forward, gripping at his own hair a moment; his shoulders shaking. Breathing, he exhaled, it quivering, then he glanced up. His eyes were hatred; violence, and yet, lost.

56. Do you think you like someone?

That gave him pause. Derrick opened his mouth, thinking he’d say no, but then Ryder filled his thoughts. That kiss, however brief, returned to him and his lips shivered with feeling. He frowned. “…I can’t say.” He didn’t want to think about it. Not at all.

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

"I don’t see why; I can handle myself just fine."

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

He shrugged in a lazy manner. “I don’t even know what I’m going to be doing next week. Don’t think that far ahead.”

[regretshaveneverknown]

5 12 17 22 25 31 38 44 46 59 62 74 81 99 101

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

"…No?" Derrick sounded confused; eyebrows furrowed - honestly, he was thrown by the question. Why the hell would someone be mad at him for talking to another person? "If they were, then they have issues. Serious ones."

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

"The only person I’ve ever kissed begins with the letter R."

17. When was the last time you cried?

Derrick felt his throat tighten, his lips thinning as he stared. He exhaled lowly, slow, through his nostrils. Stomach was growing leaded, he felt a muscle in his face twitch. Swallowing, he evened out his facial features. “Last night, before I fell asleep.”

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

Immediately, the thought of Ryder came to mind. Ryder, kissing his forehead. Of course, Derrick would probably have to lean down, or be sitting or on a bed when he did so. Still, the thought was amusing. And, strangely, nice. As it was, though, he just gave an absent shrug to the question.

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

"Nope."

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

He almost laughed; almost. As it was, he just gave a light scoff, bushy eyebrow raising. “The fuck would I hide them for? It’s my house. No, they’re not hidden. I have empty bottles, but those are for recycling.”

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

The question gave mixed sensations. Doubt. Dark amusement. Yet a brief sensation of hope. Wonder. Dread. Embarrassment. Derrick frowned, eyebrows furrowing as he glanced off to the side, considering the question. “…Probably not, but— I don’t know. Even if someone did… I’m not sure if I deserve that.”

44. What’s the best part about school?

"Learning," He said it, with a very straight face. He meant it too; if someone has asked Derrick that question months ago, he probably would’ve said lunch, or maybe the final bell to mark the end of the day. He shrugged, almost nonchalantly, "I like learning."

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

Derrick shook his head, “I’m not ten anymore. I used to, but now, I just call them or go see them if I need to talk.”

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

"No," He answered abruptly, his voice sounding stern. Derrick’s gaze had darkened, "they never have. No one has, not in years. I…  It’s something I handle on my own." Though there were days, moments, where he wished someone had been there. Those wants had all but crushed over the last few years.

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

"Everyone has that type of thing," Derrick answered, in a roundabout way. Of course he did. What kind of question was that to ask? He huffed, "that much should be god damn obvious."

74. Have you ever felt replaced?

He blinked, just staring a moment or two. Replaced? An eyebrow rose, he tilted his head some. “How insecure do you have to be to feel replaced?” Like he was one to talk; his own self esteem and worth had been shot to hell. Derrick scowled, frowning, “I wouldn’t. I respect my friends more than that.”

81. Last person you cried in front of?

"No one."

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

He shook his head.

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

"Never watched fireworks before in my life."

[regretshaveneverknown]

Some real creepy shit, get your fix.

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

8. How often do you listen to music?

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2016?

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

13. What about ‘R’?

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

16. Are you going out of town soon?

17. When was the last time you cried?

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

24. What are you sitting on right now?

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

30. Does anyone hate you?

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

35. Did you have a dream last night?

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

44. What’s the best part about school?

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

48. Were you single over the last summer?

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

52. Are you nice to everyone?

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

56. Do you think you like someone?

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

60. Do you hate anyone?

61. How’s your heart?

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

65. Are your toenails painted pink?

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

70. How do you look right now?

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

72. Can you commit to one person?

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

74. Have you ever felt replaced?

75. Did you wake up cranky?

76. Are you a jealous person?

77. Are relationships ever worth it?

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

81. Last person you cried in front of?

82. Is there someone you will never forget?

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

85. Are you over your past?

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

97. Who do you have texts from?

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

[jackson-daniels]

It was weird that he called him ,yes, but the thought of texting Derrick right now was too much of a hassle — it was just too lazy. Jackson held the phone to his ear, listening to what he was saying before he shook his head. 

"I’m serious man, I got your back. You see those guys on the street, say no more, I’ll take care of them for you. Hey I might even know them. Did you know who they were? Seen their faces?" Most likely they’ve bought drugs from him, practically everyone in Dillon did. Although they weren’t close Jackson still considered Derrick an acquaintance and if they hung out more he knew they could be friends easily. Jackson was just a nice person, this is what he did, offered to help.

[regretshaveneverknown]

"Didn't know 'em, personally; they said I beat up a buddy of theirs and wanted to 'return the favour'," He scoffed, almost grinning, but the motion hurt his face. Derrick pushed a tad more with the ice pack, inhaling slight at the cold against his bruise. That sure helped a shit ton. He was quiet for a bit, thinking on what Jackson had asked. A low hummed grunt left him,

"One of the guys was blonde; green eyes. Short, medium hair. Wearin' a gray hoodie and green cargos. Black shoes. The other had brown hair, short; ceaser cut. Dark brown eyes. Parka, I think, is what he had on. Tan pants, boots."

Derrick couldn't remember the others; but those two had stuck out to him. Especially those fucking boots - they sure hurt to get kicked by.

[micah-jane]

Micah nodded her head. “Yeah, hold on.” she said, bending down and grabbing her container of water that she carried around school with her. She drank a lot - an old habit. If her mother ever taught her anything, it was that drinking eight glasses of water a day kept her body regular. Great useless knowledge that Micah followed like law. She handed the purple container to her friend, sitting down next to him and putting her hand on his arm again for comfort. “Just drink that, alright? And keep breathing.” she told him. It was becoming clear to her that something was wrong - something that she probably shouldn’t pry him about.

[regretshaveneverknown]

Derrick thought she might go grab a plastic cup, and fill it at a fountain, or something. It hadn't crossed his mind that she'd actually carry around a container of water. Not many did that, nowadays. Usually it was just sodas or juices. Never water. He was grateful, for that; for her being so conscientious.

Nodding abrupt, Derrick took the container, twisted the lid off and began drinking. Chugging, more like; that cool liquid was wonders in his throat. Not wanting to take all of it, that felt rude somehow, Derrick stopped himself. He still felt queasy, but he was managing to hold it together.

"Thanks," Breathing this, Derrick handed the container back to her after screwing the lid back on. His fingers flexed, he exhaled a moment. Collected himself, as best he could. He could still hear the memories, feel them, almost, but he needed to just focus. Focus and it'll pass, like always. "Sorry. About that."

His eyebrows furrowing, a frown graced his lips, "I want to do the interview. I mean that. Just... not right now," For a second, he felt light headed, Derrick swallowed again, managing a lopsided smile as he looked at Micah, "probably the most interesting interview you've had, right?" He tried to joke; to lighten the mood.

He couldn't imagine how much he had scared her, maybe worried her. Derrick felt guilt, even more wrong since he'd tried to joke. How messed up was he?

[micah-jane]

Red flags were going up all over, but Micah didn’t know what to do. Alarmed, she stood up. “I think that we should take you to the nurse. You look like you should lie down.” she said to him. He looked almost disoriented, hazy. If he were to stand, she thought that he might pass out. “Well, maybe we should get you feeling better first. I totally can’t carry you.” she said nervously, licking her own lips. “Just breath, right? In through the nose, out throught he mouth. Slow, okay?” she asked, worried eyes glued to his face.

[regretshaveneverknown]

Derrick closed his eyes, hearing her words. Hearing them, trying to grab hold of them. That was what he was hearing right now. Not the officers. Not those questions. Not that echo of his own sobbing. The officers rushing to his side; the ones in the kitchen with him. Trying to get him to breathe, he wasn't breathing properly. Hyperventilating, they'd said. He had to steady, somehow.

He had to count. Count. One. The body on the floor, bloodied. Two. His own body shaking, nose filled with the scent of blood. Three. Remembering how he had spoken to her, just hours ago. Four. He hadn't said he loved her. He'd forgotten to. The only time. Five.

His body felt tense, muscles tightened; Derrick tried to loosen. He was still shaking, but just barely. The lights from the ceiling were painting his normally dark vision a slight red, maybe an orange. Orange was better. Blood wasn't orange. He opened them, letting the light filter in through his pupils, probably too bright but that was good. It shocked him system, a bit. Brought him out of those-- of that...

"I just need some water," His voice was low, hoarse a bit. Like part of him wanted to cry out for something, anything. But even Derrick didn't know what he wanted to find.