“And if you’ll give me 40% of the MOST POPULAR VOTE, I’ll give you my SPECIAL REWARD... A year’s supply of NON-GLOOBY SLIME!!! Never or BARELY used!!!” Tenna concluded his speech with a huge smile, jetting his hands up in double peace signs.
The crowd roared in confused enthusiasm as Tenna gave a gracious flurry of low-FPS bows, pausing only for the occasional stink-nose at his audience plants who weren’t throwing enough 3D roses.
Eventually, the room fell silent. It was Senshi’s turn to speak.
He puffed out his chest, took a long, sweeping look over the audience… and shook his head.
“I can see not all of you are eating properly.”
The crowd murmured with embarrassment.
“I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s time to take the turkey out of your icebox. I have seen the ingenious technology with which your people store food... and I have also seen the waste which results from such convenience.
“The food you take had a life. Beasts grew fat on the grass of the field, plants grew from the sun’s rays, and mushrooms grew from minerals in the cracks of caves. And yet, it sits in your iceboxes, collecting moisture until it perishes.
“Eat what is given to you. Because its life will make you stronger, too.”
Without another word, Senshi left his podium and stepped away from the stage. The crowd murmured in confusion. “Is he really like that?” somebody said. “I only remember reblogging the photosets of him tripping and showing ass.”
--
Back in the Green Room, Tenna wrung his antennas nervously.
“Y-y-you think they liked me!? They HAD to!! I mean, I don’t know what Asgore was thinking, getting that weird haircut and running that food waste campaign, but… YOU thought I did good, didn’t you, Kris?”
Laios nodded aggressively, a streak of blue face paint peeling from his forehead.
“You did AMAZING, Tenna! By the way, now that we’ve seen all your insider campaign secrets, do you have any more videos of Susie? Especially her tail... If I could get a look at that, I could finally tell if she’s a dinosaur or --”
THWACK. Fake antlers butted Laios’s head.
“LAIOS?? Weren’t we dressed up to help SENSHI???” Marcille hissed, gesturing awkwardly with her hooves.
Suddenly, Tenna turned to the two adventurers.
“Hey, WAIT a second. SOMETHING’s not right here...”
Laios and Marcille held their breath.
“Where the heck are my POINTS!?”
Just then, the door opened. Chilchuck took one step into the room, whistling and holding a large bag.
Everyone turned to him.
Chilchuck paused, took a step backwards, and closed the door.
“CHILCHUCK!!!” yelled Tenna.
“How come Chilchuck got to stay Chilchuck!?” yelled Marcille at the same time.
--
Meanwhile, in outer space somewhere, some guy was making out with a rock.
I have two wolves inside of me… one thinks drawing fem!Mondo without The Pomp is sexist due to the idea that female characters must always stay within the lines of ‘acceptably beautiful’ and are not allowed funny or subversive designs the way men do.
The other wolf REALLY doesnt want to give her a pomp :(
(My mind keeps thinking the female equivalent is the Amy Winehouse/Snooki bump.)
(Also I think The Bump comes from South American chola culture, so I don’t know if that’s popular enough in Japan for f!Mondo to wear it)
I think trying to genderbend Taka and Mondo might be one of the most difficult genderbends you can do.
(Character design wise i’m aware that bosozoku wore tokko-fuku, which was androgynous. But Mondo doesn’t wear that, so I have to reach out here.)
Mondo’s entire character is so heavily intrenched in toxic masculinity, specific to bosozoku culture. My immediate instinct is to still have her be the rough, violent, gangster her male counterpart is, but fem! Mondo (for a placeholder name let’s call her Momo) would be raised in an entirely male environment that believes men are made to protect women, and that all women are inherently weak.
I’m not going to overly simplify this by saying both Daiya and the Crazy Diamonds are all girls, I want to delve into this specific rift.
I version of this universe is Daiya tries to ‘protect’ his sister by not letting her become the leader (either out of his sense of duty as a man, or knowing he’s pitting her against every one of The Crazy Diamonds and that’s not a position he wants to put her in.)
Would Momo dive into her insecurites by trying to uphold these ideals, just by becoming hyper-feminine instead of masculine? The one-dimensional ideal of what a woman ‘should’ be? Mondo’s specific style of punk leans heavily into the yankee aesthetic, taking clear inspiration from the American biker gangs of the 1950s, thus the obvious blonde pompadour. I think the female equivalent would be the gyaru style; a subculture which also embraced Western styles and over exaggerated hair. My personal style for her would be Tsyome; emphasising heavy makeup, leopard print and sex appeal over cuteness factor. Looks like a rougher version of Junko’s kogal style. (When trying to research bosozoku I did some images and conversations about girl gang members adopting the gyaru style, but once I tried to research that connection specifically it disappeared).
Second universe idea is that Daiya does actually put Momo in charge of the gang, thus even more pressure to become someone who will make an entire gang overlook their personal biases regarding women to stay together and follow you. Way more intense than what original-recipe Mondo had to deal with.
The alternate is that Momo denounces these ideals and still leans heavily into embracing toxic masculinity and ends up with an insane amount of internalised misogyny. (A more natural conclusion to all this honestly). Instead Momo subverts to sukeban style; a subculture of girlgang rebelling against gender norms famous for ankle length skirts, face masks and dyed perms.)
There’s a part of me that thinks Momo wouldn;t adhere to sukeban given the basis if their style is rebelling against gender norms while still embracing them, and I don’t think Momo is that willing to question the beliefs she was raised in beyond ‘Man Strong, Girl Weak’. But also her being a woman stops her from stepping too into traditionally ‘male’ styles without upsetting the other gang members. So I don’t think Momo styles herself after Sukeban because she believes in their cause, just cause it’s the closest middle ground she can get.
Honestly Momo would closer to Toko than Mondo in this au, but it is closer to his original personality. And she keeps the perm.
most of these have been sitting in my notes app for over a year so i finally thought i'd share them ^^
(this post is long and pretty sappy... you've been warned)
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i like the idea that because he's so polite and proper, taka calls everyone by their last name (as is considered polite and proper in japanese culture; actually i think it's canon that he only refers to ppl by last name in the JP ver of the game?? idk). it takes him a while to get used to having friends and being comfortable referring to them so casually. the first person he does it to is mondo, obviously.
taka tries to slip it into conversation casually...
taka: and that was that! anyway, would you like to get some food in the dining hall with me, mondo?
what mondo hears: will you marry me?
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taka falls asleep studying (he overworked himself) so mondo puts a pillow under his head and puts his jacket or a blanket around him.
when taka wakes up, there's a nice warm cup of tea waiting for him. it makes him instantly burst into tears (combination of stress and still being tired from working as well as being so emotionally moved).
at first, taka finds it hard to get used to someone caring for him so much and remembering small things about him and such, so it makes him cry.
for instance, every time mondo brings back takeout, taka notices that the chopsticks in the bag are plastic and not wooden. mondo remembered from last time when taka complained about how wooden chopsticks feel gross in his mouth (texture thing) and he prefers plastic or other materials, so he asked the takeout place for plastic instead. and taka starts crying (from being so touched).
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stupid dogshit gay idea i had while driving that made me want to swerve off the road:
mondo is driving taka somewhere and he tries to subtly do that passenger princess bullshit where you put your hand on their thigh while using ur other hand to drive but taka freaks out. not cuz he's flustered (for once) but bc it's against the rules.
taka: mondo! you must have two hands on the wheel at all times! do you want to have your license revoked?!
taka: also please stop looking over at me and keep your eyes on the road!
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i think that taka is SEVERELY touch starved.
he breaks down into tears the first time someone (mondo) hugs him for like longer than two seconds. also he gets flustered at the idea of holding hands.
relatedly, i love that awkward flustered mondo who yells and gets aggressive bc he doesn't know how to handle feelings is canon.
i cannot get enough of strong buff hypermasculine guys who are bad at emotions and easily flustered i eat that shit up every time istg.
i love to think that even the smallest things would get him beet red and sweating buckets. like, taka could so much as pick something up for him, hold open the door for him, or hand him something and suddenly he forgets how to breathe and he has tachycardia. it's the dead middle of winter and bro has to take off his jacket bc he's so hot and flustered 😭
i think that, further into their romantic relationship, taka gets more confident, but mondo remains equally as easy to fluster. and whenever he is flustered or embarrassed or blushing real hard, he tilts his head down to hide his face with his pomp (like that one sprite of his). and i think taka would coyly grab his face and make mondo look him in the eyes, which just flusters him more. taka loves to make mondo squirm like that lol he thinks it's adorable.
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they'd be kissing and mondo would randomly lick a part of taka's face to piss him off on purpose.
he's so funny like that. he knows taka so well that he'd never ever ever push past any of his boundaries and do something that would genuinely piss him off or make him uncomfortable, but he does love getting little playful rises out of him.
god he's such a bastard 👎
he thinks it's cute when taka's eyebrows furrow and he gets a forehead wrinkle when he's mad. mondo kisses the wrinkle as an apology.
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i think mondo would instantly crumble if taka called him "sweet boy" or something of the sort. maybe they got into an argument or something or taka wants him to do something he's reluctant to:
taka: and when you go on the biking trip, can you please promise me you'll wear a helmet?
mondo: hell no that's so lame!!
taka, playing coy: *sigh* i just want to know my sweet boy will be safe
(sound of metal pipe falling to floor as mondo is instantly lobotomized)
mondo, blushing and getting shy and turning away: fine yeah whatever i'll wear a helmet whatever fuck you
bro is so fucking whipped. tail wagging 24/7 🙏
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taka has a shit ton of moles/beauty marks all over his body and mondo likes to kiss each one, but taka is ticklish so it makes him laugh and squirm.
oh my god he would be so ticklish wouldn't he? and he'd try to act all pissed off and annoyed but would collapse into giggles uncontrollably.
like he's trying to do his homework and mondo knows he needs a break but he won't give himself one, so he sneaks up behind him and just starts tickling him and they're both laughing and smiling even though taka tries to protest. and mondo finds it so cute how he tries to act all indignant.
wow i hate them!!!!!!
their relationship is so unbelievably tactile. just small touches all the fucking time whenever they can. brushes of hands, tucking hair behind ears, pats on the back, caressing of arms, more subtle things like that when they're in public.
but in private it's insane. they want to be merged, like they want to be as close as humanly possible. just laying in bed as a tangle of arms and legs and you wouldn't even know where one of them started and the other ended.
deep, long, meaningful hugs, rubbing circles on each others backs, massages (especially for taka considering how goddamn tense he is all the time. mondo has to verbally remind him to relax his shoulders and unclench his jaw. and taka reminds mondo to fix his posture lol).
lots of hair petting. mondo loves ruffling taka's hair or giving him noogies, much to taka's (cute) protesting. taka loves playing with and braiding mondo's hair when it's down. he'll do it with one hand while reading a book with the other and mondo is just drifting off to sleep.
mondo likes to lay over taka's lap. he's just like a big dog that thinks he's a lapdog lol
he's so heavy that when he's laying on top of taka and falls asleep taka is just stuck. like that "he's 200 lbs he decides when the hug ends" meme
and then taka's like "i have to get up mondo" and mondo, half asleep, just grumbles "noooo" and whines like a clingy dog (semi-related: mondo has definitely perfected puppy-dog eyes). and taka's kind of cat-like in that if he's laying in mondo's lap mondo is scared to move lol.
they're both so fucking clingy it's insane. bc absolutely taka would pull the same "no i don't want you to get up" thing, and mondo's trying to slide out of bed, but taka's latched onto his undershirt and he's pretty damn strong. and mondo's like "ur gonna rip my shirt baby"
(side bar: i think mondo would prefer "baby" to "babe". taka never uses "babe" but very very very rarely (and usually in the midst of intercourse) will he say "baby". he prefers "sweetheart", "my love", "darling", or "dear" i think. also saw someone say once that mondo would call taka "doll" and yes he totally would. and they put "my" in front of each other's names when addressing each other. ew).
mondo would do the clingy thing in the morning when taka wakes up at the ass-crack of dawn he's like "baby come back to bedddd it's fuckin 5 ammmm" and he's desperately patting the bed to entice taka back like he's pspspsing a cat, and it's cold and he misses taka's warmth, and he's sooo sleepy and taka's like "i know! it's time to start the day!" wide awake with a smile on his face. mondo just groans "you fuckin dork" affectionately
i really fucking hate them i hope you know that.
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taka with a chipped tooth from physical bullying when he was a child but his family couldn't afford to get it fixed (idk if this is imposing americanisms onto him, do they pay for dental-care in japan?? i don't fucking know) (when they make out mondo likes to run his tongue along it 👀)
omg mondo with a slight underbite!! he had to wear braces for so fucking long lol and he was so embarrassed, he thought it ruined his cool man biker persona. daiya would always tease him for it. mondo would ignore all the rules like don't eat sticky shit and stuff which would just cause him to stay in the braces even longer. lol dumbass
taka with an invisalign or retainer lol
OH WAIT hold on
taka with hearing loss and that's why he always shouts/overcompensates his voice cuz he can't tell how loud he's being (mondo gently tells him to keep it down).
eventually taka gets a hearing aid (his classmates were tired of the yelling).
OH and mondo with vision problems but he refuses to wear glasses cuz he thinks they ruin his tough guy look lol (taka thinks he looks good in them. academic even).
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mondo has the biggest sweet tooth ever and taka does not (he likes gross weird candy like black licorice and 99% dark chocolate and other salty unsweet stuff and mondo annoys him about it).
mondo is a milk chocolate guy all the way. also it's canon (at least from that little CD audio snippet) that mondo loves cotton candy which is just so fucking adorable to think about. big bad tough bosozoku guy likes soft pink fluffy candy (and soft fluffy dogs and his soft fluffy boyfriend). fucking loser!!!!
he's such a child 😭 they'd go on some kind of festival or boardwalk date and mondo begs taka for them to get cotton candy or ice cream or funnel cake or caramel apples or some other kind of sickly sweet treat every hour or so.
and every time without fail, taka will lecture him on how unhealthy all that junk is. not that mondo listens.
as a kid, mondo had constant cavities lol. taka has never had a single cavity nor any other kind of dental issue (other than having to wear invisalign/retainer like i wrote ab earlier cuz its dorky and cute and i think it suits him).
a little basic but i think taka's favorite festival food is takoyaki, it's just such a classic. i think mondo loves dango, kakigori, and taiyaki equally. but with taiyaki i don't think he enjoys red bean paste. i think he'd prefer it with ice cream. taka likes red bean paste a lot (especially with sesame) bc it's not too sweet.
even though he always touts the dangers of unhealthy fried food, taka secretly fancies fried stuff. he rarely lets himself eat it. but he really enjoys fried chicken and tempura sweet potato and stuff
on christmas mondo always surprises him with a huge bucket of KFC chicken lol
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on graduation day, taka and mondo both try to give the other the second button of their uniform at the same time loool just like shoving it in front of the other screaming "THIS IS FOR YOU!!" or something.
god they'd be so clumsy and ungraceful and awkward when it comes to confessions of love 😭
i think they'd both keep their respective buttons and, once they're married, they'd make some kind of matching jewelry out of them <3
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OKAY THAT'S ALL!! :)))
tldr: they're gay and stupid and i really hate them
How impressive is it that Mondo stayed asleep during that last panel? I’d say about as impressive as falling asleep in the same room as an awake Kiyotaka Ishimaru is.
