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I Am So Depressed I Feel Like Jumping in the River Behind My House but Won’t Because I’m Thirty-Eight and Not Eighteen by Sandra Cisneros

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“Everyday Merlin brushes” Download Yes, it is at a point where I use these sigil and such so often I got too lazy to cut them out, so I made them into brushes. Feel free to use as you wish. Some work better as brushes than others, some of them may need sharpening

writing-is-a-martial-art

truly some people have no genre savviness whatsoever. A girl came back from the dead the other day and fresh out of the grave she laughed and laughed and lay down on the grass nearby to watch the sky, dirt still under her nails. I asked her if she’s sad about anything and she asked me why she should be. I asked her if she’s perhaps worried she’s a shadow of who she used to be and she said that if she is a shadow she is a joyous one, and anyway whoever she was she is her, now, and that’s enough. I inquired about revenge, about unfinished business, about what had filled her with the incessant need to claw her way out from beneath but she just said she’s here to live. I told her about ghosts, about zombies, tried to explain to her how her options lie between horror and tragedy but she just said if those are the stories meant for her then she’ll make another one. I said “isn’t it terribly lonely how in your triumph over death nobody was here to greet you?” and she just looked at me funny and said “what do you mean? The whole world was here, waiting”. Some people, I tell you.

it’s 1am and i’m thinking about how i don’t remember the last time i sat in a patch of grass and pulled out a bunch of it, just to sprinkle it back on the ground.

my childhood has left me, and the best parts of myself left with it.

#childhood #young adult #teenagers #eighteen #grass #poetry #nostalgia #nostaligiacore

i wonder what i’ve been working so hard all my life for.

what were all those all-nighters for? why did i sacrifice my body for this? was i trying to prove myself?

did i want acknowledgment that i am better? better than who?

i have no dream, not then and not now. yet, i always expected myself to have one. to wake up one day, filled with determination and passion for a goal that i always dreamed of having.

i never cared much for college. i always expected myself to apply.

but i didn’t. what was all my hard work for? for my teachers to look at me, with pity and sadness, shaking their heads while saying “so much potential..”?

sometimes, i like to think that i meant to apply to these grand colleges, but time simply passed me by. i’d like to think it was a mistake, or maybe fate.

but that’s not true. i did it on purpose. i didn’t want to disappoint myself. i blame it on the cost of the applications, but my parents were more than willing to pay for as many as i’d like.

i have so much potential, but i only just now realized that i am only a candle.

#poetry #poets on tumblr #academic weapon #burnout #personal vent

bbc merlin graduation cap HELP NEEDED!!

so i’m graduating in May and i want to decorate my graduation cap with a merlin quote or inspired by merlin.

please!! any quotes or design ideas are very appreciated (and desperately needed)

help out a fellow merlin obsessed fan here 🫶🫶