these words are meant for Your ears

He uses my struggles to display His great love and glory. I'm just a guy who's trying to use my words to tell you the story.

[maureen2musings]

@naturesms

[rejoiceohmysoul]

the girl with a sunset for eyes,

my peace after a storm what I look forward to after my hardest days my exhale because I know I will be ok the calm that guides me in the middle of all these waves

I can drop anchor because there’s a new quiet in my sea. and I see it in the sunset in your eyes.

[rejoiceohmysoul]

contrary to popular belief you are not enough,

to overcome the death that is cycling through your body. to set aside the lawlessness that you are bent towards. to deny your selfishness and choose obedience.

you are not enough. He is.

iron piercing through bone and skin

blameless sacrifice

hang your faith on that tree

and put to death; flesh and rebellion

when the world cries: you are good enough

and the lies and shallow thin curtains fail to hold you up, cling to the Truth that Jesus is.

execution. death. burial. resurrection.

sin defeated. death reversed.

You are not enough. Jesus is.

[rejoiceohmysoul]

the fall chill in Ohio

it’s been a long time since those lonely nights next to the soccer field I have grown and stretched in so many ways but most nights I look deep inside myself and I still see that boy sitting alone in his car in the darkened parking lot of my college dorm, cold and dreading his growing loneliness. wishing like hell he had someone there next to him. 

I tried so fucking hard to guard my heart, but the Midwest Fall chill brought more than just barren trees and the bite of cold autumn air. as many layers of excuses and empty promises I tried to put on, I was still shivering in loneliness.

I’m still there eight years ago. cold, dark and alone. every year when Fall comes around, I’m still there. 

my heart comes and goes with the Fall chill.

[rejoiceohmysoul]

1/7

still holding on to the words of songs long forgotten by the ones who wrote them relearning lessons trying to be a better version of the boy who first took those words to heart decades ago clear eyes and an untouched heart before the world began to chip away

Father, scrape off this chaff 

[rejoiceohmysoul]

1/2

I’ve been pushing aside my responsibilities for months I said I wouldn’t do this again but history is repetitive and inevitable

living underground again but going deeper and further away from life captivated by fear 

there’s still time to do things differently I want to change history but history won’t change without me

and it starts at me can’t do it alone though You’re worthy of praise because You’ll jump down to the bottom of my fear and help me make the climb out

pull me out and make me new You can change my history Only You

[rejoiceohmysoul]

be the anchor that takes me back to the ground when I spend too much time with my head in the clouds. and when those clouds become storms be the one that leads me back into still waters.

[rejoiceohmysoul]

not good enough not good enough not good enough not good enough in the unreachable fortified places of myself, I keep telling me not good enough

[chiclovesyou]

everyone keeps reminding me that there’s nothing to worry about but I can’t keep myself from worrying. I can’t just turn it off.

it’s how I over think, over analyze every little thing that could be wrong with me. I’m too short, too fat, not rugged enough, dress too sloppy, or whatever it is her ideal guy looks like I’m not it, too gentle, too immature, too weird, too needy, too much like me.

I’m absolutely sick of all this doubt. it won’t go away. it doesn’t stop pestering me.

so far in my life who I am has never been good enough for someone to want to make a home in me.

and I’m told to stop worrying but it hurts.

all the times someone saw me and made the decision that I was not enough were the seeds that have grown into all this self doubt

and I’m told to stop worrying

God, why can’t you take this doubt away

[rejoiceohmysoul]

bright eyes and a gentle heart that’s all that is ever needed to enchant me she has bright eyes and a gentle heart

[rejoiceohmysoul]

11/1

fickle and unable to overcome my weakness constantly lost constantly unsure if I am where I belong tired of always giving in and never finding the strength to string good days together always fickle always always always

not doing the good that I want, and keep doing the evil that I do not

always, doing what I hate always, being what I hate

and even in my confusion and selfishness when I cannot stop choosing me and the dirt and earth I have wandered upon have all collapsed beneath my feet Your promises always give me a place to stand even when these fickle legs are too weak from constantly running away from You Your promises always give me the strength to stand

on Christ the solid rock I stand all other ground is sinking sand all other ground is sinking sand

[rejoiceohmysoul]

10/18

some days I have no difficulty at all believing in the intangible qualities in me that supposedly dwarf my underwhelmingly below average looks but most days I give in to the discouragement it seems like I’m running out of options. no matter how hard I try to unlearn it, I can’t. I just can’t. It’s just like how Paul said, I do not do what I want to do and I do what I hate. I don’t see myself the way I ought to and I see myself the way I ought not. I’m terribly conflicted. I know how You see me I know how I should see me but I force myself incapable and it’s so damn exhausting I’m sick and tired of this sick of trying to predict if she would date me or if she would inevitably think how I looked wasn't enough I’ve told myself, she’s too pretty for you, too many times tired of being unsatisfied with myself, feeling unsatisfactory to anyone who I was ever infatuated with one of the most discouraging things about all this is I even find the ones who know You giving priority to outward adornment Your servants Paul and Peter BOTH spoke against it! are they wrong or immature? am I bitter for thinking they are how the hell am I to stand a chance please tell me how I’m suppose to obtain confidence!? I do not care what the cost is at this point I’m willing to give anything just to know what it feels like to not have to worry about lacking it. Jesus, teach me.

when I am not enough I need to trust in You to be

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

[rejoiceohmysoul]

she's too pretty for me it's always she's too pretty for me she's too pretty too pretty as in I'm not good enough not enough always not enough never enough

[rejoiceohmysoul]

Master, Savior, Jesus

[rejoiceohmysoul]

[rejoiceohmysoul]

anchor your hope in My promises this will pass you will see the light again

[chiclovesyou]

my hands are weathered and callused. I keep wondering when someone will come along to love them. they’ve grown to be so rough, when will a soft touch want to hold them//

#drumstickcalluses #climbingropecalluses