❤ トラブル

♔;; you made flowers grow in my lungs, and although they are beautiful, i can't fucking breathe.

[rektd-blog]

//ooc

I'm so inactive, sorry yall

[abandonedography]

[bl-ossomed]

Possibly the saddest thing I’ve ever seen

this made me cry

Reblog this. We owe this person at least this much

this is heart wrenching

 Pale

why the fuck are you self promoting on this

[justrpmemesandmusings]

Send ♥ for our muses to be lazing on the couch together on a lazy afternoon

[rpfunstuff]

Send me “Are you gonna kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?” for my muse’s reaction.

[salesaana]

[memeboitaliano]

super extra naughty indecent dirty raunchfest the meme

[mistressalex-deactivated2016100]

❤ : Where on their body is your muse most sensitive? ✿ : Has your muse ever had sex before? ☜ : Does your muse like to top? ☞ : Does your muse like to bottom? ∀ : Your muse’s favorite position? ☺ : How often does your muse masturbate? ☂ : How long does it take your muse to hit climax, usually? ✌ : Is your muse good with their hands? ♡ : Does your muse have any birthmarks or scars they get embarrassed about others seeing? Á : Is your muse loud in bed? ⚔ : Does your muse have any specific kinks? ☯ : If you’re comfortable with it, write a drabble about our muses doing something naughty. If not, put a strikethrough across this one in your reblog (or simply don’t do it; your blog, your rules ;3). ☌ : Would/does your muse have any special piercings anywhere? Would they get some? ♥ : Does your muse like to cuddle after sex? Anything else for aftercare?

((Send me these!))

[shielddeputydirector]

Send my muse notes from their father

[cillianhelps-blog]

text message starters: part seven (sexcapades gone wrong edition)

[MSG:] What part of “he tried to put his dick in my ear” do you not understand?!

[MSG:] Okay, so next time, maybe use a tighter knot?

[MSG:] HOW DO YOU LOSE A CONDOM MID-INTERCOURSE?!

[MSG:] As he was cumming he yelled “Yahtzee” then said I was free to go. That was my one night stand.

[MSG:] “Sorry” doesn’t fix the chafing around my asshole!

[MSG:] Relax, just get some good concealer and no one will even notice the bite marks.

[MSG:] Okay, so apparently asking a boy “who’s your mommy?” doesn’t have the same affect as “who’s your daddy?”.

[MSG:] He asked “who’s your daddy” and I said I don’t know.

[MSG:] If I pick up a girl, and then she picks up a guy, and we all leave together, did I pick up the guy?

[MSG:] On the upside, that’s one less thing on our sexytimes bucket list!

[MSG:] Come hell or highwater we WILL manage to have sex at work without getting caught one of these days.

[MSG:] Next time you’re taking nude pics for me, maybe glance around the room to make sure your MOM’S NOT THERE.

[MSG:] Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.

[MSG:] SLUTTIEST. HALLOWEEN. EVER.

[MSG:] I can’t believe you fell asleep in the middle.

[MSG:] Dude, I’ve got to get back on her good side. I’ve tried masturbating… it’s not the same.

[MSG:] Long story short, we had to call the fire department to get the handcuffs off.

[MSG:] I told you not to buy lube from a tourist shop!

[MSG:] What’s never happened before? The premature ejaculation or the ten minutes of crying afterwards?

[MSG:] So not only did my roommate NOT leave when he saw I had a girl there, HE STARTED SHOUTING BITS OF ADVICE.

[MSG:] Walked in on my boss nailing his secretary on the copy machine. It’s gonna be a VERY awkward meeting tomorrow…

[MSG:] Mom found our “collection.” 

[MSG:] I don’t even know if I LIKE sober sex anymore.

[MSG:] Banging your kid’s teacher never ends well.

[MSG:] Her dad came home when we were “busy” so I ended up jumping out her window and getting dressed while I ran up the block to my car. FML

[MSG:] It’s just one of those days where I’m too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.

[MSG:] Turns out I’m not as bendy as I thought… it was fun trying, though!

[MSG:] We rented a porno to get ideas. Long story short… we need a new showerhead.

[MSG:] Never take sex advice from your older brother.

[MSG:] Any recommendations for how to tell your girlfriend about the pics of her sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?

[MSG:] HE WAS LOOKING RIGHT AT ME. JACKING OFF. ON A PUBLIC CITY BUS. I SHIT YOU NOT.

[MSG:] Speaking French in bed SOUNDS hot, but turns out I only know “baguette” and “bonjour.”

[MSG:] So the threeway turned out to be a twoway while the third one sat and watched in a chair.

[MSG:] NEVER ANSWER THE PHONE IN THE MIDDLE OF SEX EVER AGAIN

[MSG:] We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.

[MSG:] Long story short, she’s passed out, we’re both naked, I’m gagged and can’t get the knot undone, we’re in the closet at her mom’s house. SEND HELP.

[MSG:] Also, I’ve finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is okay.

[MSG:] I’m sorry I laughed. But, honey, you were trying to give me a striptease and you tripped on your pants!

[MSG:] So today I found out my mom’s dating my ex-boyfriend, and she’s kinkier than I am. Fuck divorce.

[MSG:] Well, I never thought in the future I’d be able to say “hey remember that Easter when I made porn?”

[MSG:] I have to admit, I’ve never heard of more than two people watching porn together…

[MSG:] I don’t think bruises are supposed to turn green.

[MSG:] That girl’s pussy is like White Castle, you crave it once in awhile, but next morning you regret eating it.

[MSG:] Never sneeze while eating a girl out.

[MSG:] I know he was trying his best to be sexy, but Johnny Depp, he is not.

[MSG:] PENISES ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE THAT OH MY GOD

[MSG:] So it turns out he’s not into bondage.

[MSG:] I’m straight, but shit happens.

[rpfunstuff]

How To Get Away With Murder Sentence Meme

"He did this thing to my ass that made my eyes water."

"Hey, don’t be a bitch, I could be arrested for this."

"I don’t believe you. To be honest, I don’t even care. You want to sleep next to a killer, go for it."

"I don’t do boyfriends."

"I just like making people feel uncomfortable. Makes me feel better."

"I know you were screwing her."

"I like you. You’re more than sex. More than sex, you’re something more."

"I’m done with your crazy."

"I’ve been staring at the walls for like three days. I need company, otherwise I might go all red rum on your ass. Although, something tells me you might be into that."

"I’m a bit worried you’re a sex addict."

"I’m a cheater yes, and a slut, and a bad person, and now a murderer. Judge me if you want, just do it while we’re carrying the damn body."

"Is there a boyfriend I should be jealous of?"

"Isn’t your ass tired?"

"Just don’t lie to me. If one more man lies to me, I swear to God…"

"Like I’d ever wanna screw you."

"So I made a porno, so what? Everyone makes one these days."

"Somebody woke up in the mood to fight this morning."

"That’s how you like your mistresses, huh? Weak, broken, messes that you just clean up."

"The only one with boy problems is you."

"Wait, you`re gay?"

"We all had to do things tonight that we didn’t want to do."

"We’re young, red-blooded american males."

"Whoever he is, I’m glad there’s some eye candy around here."

"Why is your penis on a dead girl’s phone?"

"You two need a room?"

"You’re a liar. At this point, that’s all I know for sure."

"See, sexting pays off."

[alex-hogh]

[rektd-blog]

AMERICAN IDIOT // LIVE AT THE FORUM ©

[rektd-blog]

“Just my usual; meatball sub and a few slices of pizza.” She tucked pieces of hair behind her ear and grabbed her phone. Quickly, she dialed the number of her boss and coughed a few times before he answered. Once he did, she put on a weak voice and let out more coughs. “Dean? Yeah, hey…it’s Chey. I don’t think I can make it in today. I was literally puking all night long and my fever is going up by the second. I think I have the bug that’s going around..” A smile crept onto her face and she nodded. “Okay, I’ll text you if I finish anything earlier, but I’ll try to send them in by later tonight.”

{ ☼ }; Adam nodded and picked up his phone to order their food. He waited until she was done on the phone with her boss before he grinned over at her and mouthed convincing before pressing talk.

[rektd-blog]

     “How could I possibly cheat on the most beautiful girl?” he said cheekily whilst taking his turn.

{ ☼ }; A bright blush crept up her cheeks at his remark. “Well I-- Thank you.”

[invademyinbox]

Send me “Hush, go back to sleep.” for my character to fall asleep in your characters arms.

[inboxideas]

Send me one pro and one con you could see with having sex with my character.

(anons welcome)

[rektd-blog]

q’d up my replies for the night

[lenoirbap]

KISS 108 Jingle Ball - December 14, 2014 [x]

[imstillinthere]