Relishboii

28yr old teenager with no reason to live

[relishboii]

Imagine being born and having so much potential and your mother decides "yeah this is cool and all but like what if we lascerated his flesh and gave him scars and body dysmorphia for life" and your dad was like "hold my beer, I think we should rape him too."

But despite this you graduate with honours, valedictorian, scholarship, and they're like "shit we didn't fuck him up hard enough." So they steal your identity and keep you locked in a room for an extra 10yrs, then feed you medicine that causes seizures, and you suffer permenant amnesia, dropping your iq by 30 points, just to really make sure you miss out on having an opportunity to live a normal life.

[relishboii]

"Boys are supposed to always be horny. They always want sex. They're supposed to like sex. They're supposed to have lots of sex. They aren't a man if they don't always fuck me."

All I am is a sex toy to people and unless if give them what they want I'm not even worthy of friendship. All I want is to watch my little pony and share art and memes on tumblr but in order to get that I have to fuck someone for 6 months to watch even just three episodes before I stop being sexually new and interesting then they move on and I lose the only friend I've had in 20yrs.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I do wish we could make it a little more socially acceptable to wander the streets at night weeping inconsolably I feel like that would have a great catharsis factor for a lot of people

[calamity-corner]

"hiding behind your identity as a shield" ah yes trans women, classically the group of people most often treated fairly and given the most benefit of the doubt. nobody has any preconceived notions about trans women, society says nothing negative about them, The Ultimate Criticism Magnet is clearly the best shield someone could use to deflect criticism

[calamity-corner]

what kind of alternate reality do you live in where being a trans woman shields you from literally any criticism, genuinely. we don't have to get into all the widespread legal and social ways trans women specifically are easy and frequent targets, we don't even have to look further than queer tumblr specifically. if the trans woman has dozens of accounts entirely dedicated to criticizing her then i don't think her identity as a trans woman is really "shielding" her from anything, now is it?

[calamity-corner]

people love to say "we hate you because you're a trans woman and we hate trans women" and then when you say "hey this person hates me for being a trans woman" they go "why are you making this about identity politics"

[relishboii]

Transitioning to escape misandry only for it to poison the very cure I spent decades pursuing is madness. Now I have to say I'm a "femboy" because for some reason that provides people with a less masculine(evil) image of myself than saying "I'm a woman". I wish sexism would just fucking die on a shoal and get swept by the tides already.

[relishboii]

Probably for the best that I've been so sleep deproved I fell asleep before I've been able to make my last 5 posts, all of which I've forgotten.

[relishboii]

I tried moving out so my mom bought a dog for me to take emotional and physical responsibility for instead, delaying my education by 4yrs. My dog died so I wanted to finally move out and live my life but my mom bought an physically identical dog and kept telling me "she's here because of you" delaying my education by 4yrs. Few things are as mentally troubling as daily seeing your dead dog walking around and behaving differently. I hate leaving my room. Don't forget the part where I was emotionally manipulated out of getting an education for 8yrs though btw, you almost missed that didn't you.

[relishboii]

Remember kids: Only girls are allowed to draw ponies and wear whatever they want and grow their hair out and smile and laugh and watch cartoons and listen to music. You aren't allowed to be a girl though because I fucking hate you, you ruined my body by coming out of me, and you ruined my life because I had to take care of you.

You have to pay me back for everything you took from me, you have to give me a nice retirement on a leisure goat farm. I wanted a boy so you could give me everything I wanted as a child and you aren't allowed to have your own childhood because it's mine IT'S MINE AND YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BACK.

I love my daughter though, I had her so I could give her the childhood I wished I had. One where I isolate her from the entire world for 25 years, give her a free education, then buy her a car, a house, and accept her as a lesbian.

But fuck you, you fucking faggot, gay love is a facade for pedophilia you disgusting freak. Every time you complain that your body is changing and you don't know what's wrong and you want to go back, and every time you shave your leg hair while crying in a panic using MY razer - I know it's because you're a sick 13yr old pervert who masturbates to last year's picture of himself.

You only SAY you want to be a girl because you want to invade women's spaces - like my kitchen, and my pantry, and my living room, and my back yard. You're a parasite like all men, who want nothing more than to make MY life about YOU, by walking in front of me and forcing me to see you every day.

[egberts]

stop assuming the worst most bad faith negative interpretations of everyone else's intentions and you will find yourself so much more at ease in life

[relishboii]

Unfortunately literally fucking everyone assumes the worst most bad faith interpretation of my intentions and I AM NOT AT EASE AT ALL because I am ALWAYS SCARED that literally fucking ANYTHING and EVERYTHING I do is going to result in people hurting me. And it always happens! They always fucking hurt me! I'm terrified! :D

[daggers-drawn]

All it means when people say “you’re speaking from a place of privilege” is that you’re likely to underestimate how bad the problem is by default because you are never personally exposed to that problem. It’s not a moral judgement of how difficult your life is.

[mrloveballad]

^^^^^^ read it. say it out loud. keep repeating it until you understand.

[relishboii]

My will to live rapidly began deteriorating when I stopped being young enough to be confused with my boss' daughter.

[relishboii]

Wake up

Scream cry for 4hrs

Vomit

Feel numb

Play party games alone for 12hrs

Pass out without eating

Repeat

[relishboii]

The government will literally pay a doctor to mutilate my genitals against my knowledge or consent and ill have to live with this shame and violation for 28yrs but the moment I ask for it to be undone willingly they say "this is unheard of" and "we don't know if we legally can" or "nobody has ever asked for this before" like okay cunt fuck me I guess.

[relishboii]

I thought knives were supposed to be sharp for fuck sake

[relishboii]

When I was in high school I remember seeing a video on tumblr of someone singing happy birthday for their Lizard named Pepperoni and they were so so happy for their Lizard and it made me sooo fucjing sad because I knew that if he loved that Pepperoni so much, I knew how devastated he was gonna be when Pepperoni died, because I knew how devastated I would be when my dog died. I spent a decade terrified and crying about how my only friend, my dog Madeline, would eventually die aswell and it paralyzed me from happiness. All my time spent around her I spent knowing it wouldn't last and I would soon be in hell. I am in hell. It keeps happening the ones I love keep getting taken from my and I can't stop it jo matter how hard I try. I'm useless. There is no happiness in this suffering. There is no happiness knowing the happiness will end. I spend every moment scared ill never see them again, and I hide from them to avoid those thoughts. But I want to be with them so bad it just hurts me to be there. Sickness from stomach to body to bone. Numb.

[relishboii]

God someone save me please

[harpsi-corpse]

The cards see all.

[relishboii]

God I wish I was allowed to be that fucking happy.

[relishboii]

I genuinely want to kill myself I just need to be brave enough to do it