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@mercy_98 sent me 12 texts the other day and exactly 11 of them were about how I hadn’t posted anything from her wedding. So congrats on getting married, you’re welcome, and I love you https://www.instagram.com/p/Ci_da_nDA0j/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Where Is Her Head

Several years ago I played this song at least five times in a row and felt depressed, sad, and defeated. Life was shit. I love this song.

Today I’m playing it at Whirlaway. I’m in Chicago and things are good. I’m good. I’m happy. What a difference.

humansofnewyork

“I want to build a bridge.” “How do you build a bridge?” “If you want to build a bridge it’s going to take a long time and it might be hard because your employees might not be as interested in building the bridge as you are. You have to think about what kind of bridge you want to make. One type of bridge is a suspension bridge and another type of bridge is an arch bridge. The Brooklyn Bridge is a suspension bridge and it was built by John Roebling and his family and that’s all I remember from second grade. And the bridge has to be strong because the water can rise and push up the bridge. I’d maybe like to build a bridge in Wisconsin because there are a lot of people in Wisconsin who might not have bridges but I don’t really know where Wisconsin is.”

remembering when @antonelladavalos_ liked a drink i made, i have officially peaked https://www.instagram.com/p/CWRqiu8sgyY/?utm_medium=tumblr

It gets better

Two years ago I moved to Chicago and was overwhelmed by how much better I felt.

I loved the city, I made good friends, I got a job and apartment quickly. I thought I was happy.

In retrospect, I wasn’t. I was deeply relieved that I wasn’t close to an abusive relationship. But I hated being alone. I was getting really drunk for the wrong reasons daily. I had so many one night stands that I regret. I was trying so hard to feel free.

Two years later, I think I’m happy. I have a great job, my dream job. I still have great friends. I still drink often, but it’s more social.

The point is, maybe I’ll think differently in another two years. I’m still bad at romantic relationships. I’m more scarred than I ever thought. And I’m working on that, or at least trying.

Maybe in two years I’ll look back and think of how much better off I am. Maybe I’ll figure out a relationship. Maybe I’ll be better at my job. Maybe I’ll drink less.

But even thinking of the next two years as growth instead of tragedy is wonderfully encouraging. Because two years ago I couldn’t imagine anything good happening at all. So tonight, I’ll take that. Things are better now, so maybe they’ll keep getting better.

Each of us is more than the worst thing we’ve ever done.

Bryan Stevenson

nothing like waiting for the blue line to realize you’re home (at Chicago, Illinois) https://www.instagram.com/p/CNEaUeajN6p/?igshid=1hgqkr6u78myl

I loved all four shifts with you guys. RIP Merchant (at Merchant Chicago) https://www.instagram.com/p/CHEhIcnDSQL/?igshid=4ge315gc50no

practicing for our family christmas card photo cause winter is obviously here (at Logan Square) https://www.instagram.com/p/CFSvZkUDLno/?igshid=124n34n20eaw2

very grateful for you. chicago wouldn’t be what it is. (at Logan Square) https://www.instagram.com/p/CDLS1qyDwIB/?igshid=1dxi478o2wlb3

featuring little baby fernet, the newest love of my life (at Chicago, Illinois) https://www.instagram.com/p/CBhxutSjZyJ/?igshid=185vrnu1odpnx

quarantine was worth it because i am over my fear of snakes... sort of anyway (at Logan Square, Chicago) https://www.instagram.com/p/B_qlx7wDAdI/?igshid=1b5bnmwq47k9m

Nostalgia

For something I don’t think I’ve felt yet. I miss everything, and nothing. What will I end up being?

Chicago.

I love it. But what else?

I miss everything. I miss everyone. But not enough. I want more.

But... what?

in honor of the best pre world-is-coming-to-the-end trip, which i did not know it would be at the time. i miss all of you (at Nashville, Tennessee) https://www.instagram.com/p/B_RZ4hKjE-a/?igshid=vn0ws8bk40hc

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

Aristotle

Didn’t win, but still had a great time tonight! Let’s go Hawks @willowwizard_xo (at United Center) https://www.instagram.com/p/B7ISHqlDDPU/?igshid=1dyt91vv8u30e

She watched him, not unkindly. She smiled.

“Scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real. The events that cause them can never be forgotten, can they?”

“All The Pretty Horses”

Cormac McCarthy

Pg. 135

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