Just a country girl, living in a crazy world.

19 💁🏻 Irish 🍀 Crazy country girlie 💋 Owner of some v unpopular accounts who never knows how to describe herself 👌🏻 QUOTE FOR LIFE: "Any struggle or pain that you experience just gets you to the top and you can't get there without making the climb. A few years later, you won't remember exactly the way the pain felt or how long it took, you'll remember the view from the top. In fact, you might smile at the fact you had to work to get there."- Hayley Williams ♥

[rest0remyinn0cence]

When you finally remember that you have a tumblr after almost a year of inactivity...

[thatadhdfeel]

when u zone out in class and ur all like

[shithappensmoveon-blog]

[archive95205-blog]

today at work i let someone into a dressing room and they said “thanks” and half of me tried to say “you’re welcome” and the other half tried to say “no problem” and i ended up saying “your problem”

[lemonbraid-deactivated20130415]

[missmephisto]

this post had me in tears

[ghost-plot]

I was hoping the notes would be full of similar stories, but they’re not, so I’ll add my story for anyone else looking for more laughs:

I had to go to a library to pay a fee and I was practicing in the car between “I have to pay a fine” and “I have to pay a fee” and I walked in and firmly stated “I have to pee” and slapped a five dollar bill on the counter (the fee was like ten cents), and walked out. This was like three years ago and I still haven’t been back,

[greatestgoth]

My friend was driving and we were almost past our turnoff so I tried to say “quick” and “fast” at the same time and I ended up screaming “QUACK” which ended up with him judging me very hard and missing the turn

[soldieronbarnes]

Recently someone in class asked me how I was doing and I started off saying I was good but switched to I’m okay in the middle and ended up saying “I’m gay.”

Which, while kind of accurate, was not what I meant to announce to my classmate.

[spankyhole]

This Halloween I was handing out candy and a child said “trick or treat” and I smiled gave them their candy and apparently my mouth betrayed me and I said “Merry Christmas” and proceeded to sit down and look up to the sky for answers while their mother laughed at me :)))))

[succlentwitch]

I was switching between “Bye Deanna” and “Goodbye” and I ended up saying “Go Die”

[stellaathena]

Sometimes I try to say “I fucking love you” but it comes out in the wrong order and then everyone’s uncomfortable.

[magebird-old]

When I first started my coffee shop job, I was still getting used to greeting customers as they came in the door. A man walked in, and in the jumble of trying to say, “How are you doing?” and “What’s up?” I ended up demanding “What are you doing here?!”

[ledamemangociana]

something really cool happened once at the office and i started to say “i’m so amazed” but halfway through my mind changed to “that’s really amazing” and i just ended up saying “i’m really so amazing”

[umbrellabonsai-deactivated20180]

one time i was out in the woods in the spring when the birds were just beginning to come out again and i went to say “i’m so pumped for the birds” and “i’m so hyped for the birds” and instead i said “i’m so humped for birds”

[muraqiba]

Once I was walking to school and there was a guy walking his dog and the dog came to me and started sniffing me and I was in such a good mood and when I passed by his owner I wanted to say like “hello” or “good morning” or “cute dog” or something like that and I ended up looking up at him, smiling real big, and saying “thank you”. 

[thegenderfluiddruid]

I was at the convenience store and I was going to buy a drink, but i dropped my keys and the drink when I got to the register so I got caught between “my drink!” and “my keys” and ended up screaming “MY KINK.”

[meme-of-lord-deactivated2016102]

I walked up to this register,in a target. When the cashier finished checking me out she said have a good day, and i wanted to say “You have a good day” and “You too” so it came out “You have a good do do”

[queenvalerie-replies-deactivate]

I FUCKIN H HIT MY HEAD ON A CHAIR FROM LAUGHING TOO HARD AT THIS FUCKING POS T

[honeybee-bi]

There’s so many new stories on this since the last time I saw it and fuck I am laughing so hard I think I’m annoying my roommate

[unicornempire]

These are too damn good to pass up reading!

[tastefullyoffensive]

(via clarkkent23)

[kingrudegyalchina]

Smooth

[jewghoul]

When you work at Lush and customer comes in and bites the soap because they think it’s cheese

[bransidhe-deactivated20201122]

this happens way more frequently than you think, i assure you

[stygianzinogre]

Well if you frickers stopped literally presenting soap as deli food maybe it wouldnt happen?

[jewghoul]

who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese

[icurseyouthomaszane]

@fancyphobic

[one-million-cats]

who goes to the store and just takes a bite from the cheese

[dirtsaliva]

[hayley-wiliams]

[aliyasexception]

If you don’t think I’m a princess, then you are 100% right. I’m the fucking queen. (insp.)

[20d0llarn0sebleed]

my favorite tweet in the whole world

[whosholy]

[lyrebelacqua]

“You can lose battles but come back and win full on wars. You can rise from ashes. You can make something out of even less than nothing. The only thing you have to do is keep moving forward.”

[drovie]

Today at therapy was really hard. I was sitting here crying, and generally being miserable, when I felt a nudge at my knee. I looked down to see that Zeus, my service dog, was doing his job… and brought me a potato. it is very hard to cry with a gift of potato.

[drovie]

Remember this? I’m having a rough time right now. Zeus has a solution.

That would be an empty pill bottle, the *correct* pill bottle, a bottle of embossing powder, and two, TWO potatoes.

[afkland]

You’re worth at least 2 potato to him and that’s pretty special imo.

[drovie]

I would just like to remind you all that *I don’t own any potatoes* and I have no clue where he’s getting them from.

[tterrymcginnis-blog]

people shouldn’t be shocked that bruce wants to fight superman like honestly catch him in the right mood and he’d fight his own reflection 

[damnitlonnie]

Her name isn’t Bruce her name is Caitlyn

[tterrymcginnis-blog]

do you really think this post is about caitlyn jenner……. what…….

[perny]

This just in: Caitlyn Jenner is gonna fight Superman.

[toodrunktofindaurl]

Okay twitter seemed to like that story so there you go, story time!

Let’s start by the beginning. I hurt myself a lot for very stupid reasons and got sent to the ER of my city a lot during the past 15 years of my existence. Little examples: chipped hip on my 21st birthday because I was playing the children’s game Cops & Robbers with my very much adult friends in a park at night, completely not sober, and missed a set of stairs while chasing my bff. Running straight into a wall for no other reason than me being a dumbass and having my teeth go back into my gum. Etc. That gives you an idea of the kind of explaining I had to do whenever I’d get to the ER.

So when I had my car accident a few days ago, I was brought to the ER in a stretcher, neck brace and all that stuff. I was taken care of by this cute young nurse, Alexandra, whom I felt like I had seen before. I asked her if we had met before and she said she just got out of Med school in the same city I was previously living in, and that we might have ran into each other during a party. All I wanted to do was think about something else than the crash I went through and she was really cute so we talked a lot more and, in my stretcher and neck brace, I managed to get her number.

Today we had a little lunch date during her break and the conversation was half her yelling at me for even being out of bed and not even putting bandages on my injuries, and the other half was her telling the most iconic stories she heard and participated to in the ER. I didn’t eat very much, let me tell you. But that’s where she started talking about this iconic story of a teenage girl some years ago, who apparently tried to kick open a glass door completely barefoot and ended up with a 2 inches/5 centimeters long glass piece in her ankle. The girl was losing blood too fast so they just did the stitching right away and didn’t bother with anesthesia, so of course she was screaming like a dying cow. The Mother of the girl was with her and, as the girl was passing her exams in her High School at the moment and was a real shit at Maths, she thought intelligent to make her daughter recite her multiplication tables to “distract her from the pain”. The girl was screaming all the wrong answers because, really, she was shit at Maths, which ended up in the Doctors laughing so hard they fucked up her stitches. While this sweet little nurse was telling this tale she heard from older nurses, I was struggling not to die while choking on my drink.

Because you see, I still haven’t forgiven my Mom for making me recite my multiplication tables that one time in the ER while Doctors were laughing so hard at me they fucked up my ankle that now hurts whenever it’s raining.

[hayley-wiliams]

Don’t go crying

[houdinigenie]