Unicorn Empire

Hi, I'm Amber! I'm an artist and screen printer, specializing in making whatever I'm currently obsessed with! | My Website | My Etsy |

[unicornempire]

Just a bird inside another bird while it's ridonculously hot out ~ our local Safeway had these giant swan / duck / parrot pool floaties and my brain was like 'I know who would be buying one of those'.

[gentleaffirmations]

[unicornempire]

Just a little Endhawks preening!

[unicornempire]

New design alert: meet Tyvar Kell "Himbo For Hire".

This one is an inside joke requested by my friend, author Seanan McGuire, whose favorite character to write is a big-hearted, big-muscled elf hero who isn't always the sharpest weapon in the armory!

It's a two-color design in silver and leafy green on soft black cotton, available as a classic unisex tee, women's fitted tee, or racerback tank, small through 6X depending on style.

If you know, you know. And if you don't yet, now's a great time to find out!

Link in bio.

[thatsbelievable]

[charseraph]

No one knows if finishing a drawing is possible

[noah-wyles]

all i want for 2026 is that gigantic rancid AI bubble to finally burst in such a catastrophic way that the consequences will be so good and i'll never have to see another AI generated image ever again

[fluoritegalaxy]

Like to charge, reblog to cast.

[despazito]

I don't have time for tumblr discourse they're calling the very hungry caterpillar degenerate art over on twitter

[despazito]

good art is when something looks like real life, the more real it looks the more better the art. abstracted figures give my trad children nightmares, one time they were exposed to cubism and couldn't go outside for a week

[queerlyexhausted]

insalubrious???

Yeah. Fuck Eric Carle's unwholesome blobby art.

Jesus Christ.

[unicornempire]

I honestly don't think you could come up with a dumber take on the Very Hungry Caterpillar if you were literally trying to.

I bet this woman read the Ugly Duckling and her takeaway was that children need to be beautiful in order to be worthy of love, too.

[unicornempire]

Our A.Z. Fell & Co. and Get In Loser designs are getting one last print run before they ascend to retirement! If you've had your eye on either one, this is your chance. Orders close Monday, June 1st.

[A.Z. Fell Shirt] [A.Z. Fell Tote] [Get In Loser Shirt]

These have been some of our most loved designs over the years. Thank you all for giving them good homes!

[thememedaddy]

[unicornempire]

I didn't think this was true because the people that owned this place seemed to do everything right~ until I found out that they decided to have several giant slabs of concrete (they're like 5 foot squares) laid over where the septic tank access opening is, and I had to spend like 3-4 hours digging in order to get at the secondary access point, which is also half covered by a cement slab.

So yeah, quite true.

[catsofyore]

His Majesty. Postcard from my collection, mailed 1907.

[unicornempire]

Indeed.

[unicornempire]

🏒Flying in from exotic Ontario, Canada, we have two new permanent residents in the shop - now with REAL photos and not just mockups!

You guys couldn't pick between Blue Dusk and Yellow Sunrise as your favorites (they were literally like one vote apart) during the presale; we took both to Emerald City Comic Con and they both sold out instantly. Thank you to everyone who stopped by the table to get one, seriously! (And a special thanks to that person who gave me the 'Stupid Canadian Wolfbird' phone charm bracelet, it's awesome and I never knew I needed one until now!)

We reprinted both colorways and have been meaning to update the shop photos for what feels like forever now, but life always has a way of getting busy after a convention. I promise they were worth the wait though, and now they're in the shop full time! Some comfy cotton tees with hand screen printed, water-based inks for a premium print that will last longer than it took for a certain pair of hockey players to figure out they were actually pretty into each other ❤️. Hand printed by me, the artist and a person who has watched the show a super normal amount of times since it came out.

Thanks to everyone who supported the presale and helped us narrow in on the final colors; for everyone else that might want one and missed out now you can see what they look like in person!

[figofswords]

i miss my beautiful wife joann fabrics it feels as if eons have passed since i last saw her. this guy michael keeps waving her visage in front of me and saying she’s living in his house but he is lying to me. i know this because i went into his house and found only fragments and memories of my beautiful wife joann and pictures of her shadowed face labeled “online only”. michael won’t even let me order swatches from him

[elandrawssometimes]

Only just realised I never posted this dumb doodle from 4 months ago. Here's pocket, ex-adventurer street alchemist NPC from my D&D campaign. He's the cheapest alchemist in Parvumarx!

[unicornempire]

I once played an Alchemist in Pathfinder that was the cheapest in the area. I had asked my DM if I could make a Kobold that just said he was an alchemist and had literally no skills in it, just made mud potions out of rainwater and stuff he found on the ground. I can't even remember what class he actually was on paper, rogue maybe? Literally all he was good at was lying.

My party was very dismayed mid-battle to find none of his potions worked (and they got an additional 1d4 poison damage cuz it's just scuzzy pond water in a bottle) but I think all the warning signs were there and they really only had themselves to blame. Never hire the cheapest alchemist in all the land, you'll just get gut worms. Or die. And I think that's an important lesson.

[thepioden]

My brother in law recently became a veterinarian and it has really driven the point home as to how fucking bonkers veterinary medicine is. We don't expect human physicians to really know much outside of their own specialty - a dentist, an otolaryngologist, and a maxillofacial surgeon are three totally different dudes. Meanwhile a veterinarian at a wildlife rehab center is doing orthopedic surgery on a hawk and then doing rounds on baby hedgehogs in the hedgehog NICU and administering antibiotics to a ratsnake. And he also knows how to perform surgical interventions on a cow! What the fuck! Those are all totally, wildly different kinds of animal!!

Shout out to veterinarians, they know Too Much.

[mikkeneko]

I always think about that one post that was like "how come the surviving doctors in zombie apocalypse stories are always veterinarians" and the reply "because veterinarians make 'not getting bitten by their patients' a core skill"

[unicornempire]

You also gotta figure that general adaptability is a factor. Like, try bringing up something with a Doctor that wasn't on the scheduled appointment, even just for a vague hint at what to do next. They always look at you like they couldn't possibly venture even a guess. Heck half the time they can't even figure out the original thing we're there for.

A vet has to be able to pivot, and I think that'd be a key skill in the zombie apocalypse.

[specialagentartemis]

why does it take SO much energy to keep your house only sort of clean

[unicornempire]

God right x_x what kind of Sisyphean curse is this. I can't even get rid of all of the dust or get my work stuff like... 30% tidy, and I am trying so so so hard.

[unicornempire]

Hey everyone ~ I've been lucky enough to know Kel McDonald for years now and make a few designs for them, and they have a new graphic novel up on Kickstarter as of today! One of the rewards is a t-shirt design I'll be printing about a ~✨pretty exclusive club✨~.

Kel has an awesome library of monstrous noir mysteries and oodles of great queer fiction, they put out awesome work and help a lot of other artists in the Portland area get their work to print as well - I wish I was half as tenacious! You should totally check out the new book along with all the others available online; I always get sucked right in to the dialogue and character interactions when I pick up a book from them at a convention =) check it out for yourself!