Restorative Luciferianism

Luciferian Buddhist. May all beings be free, by their own unique pathways and natures. 🙏 (pronouns: ze/zem/zer)

[restorativeluciferian]

About Me

Apparently, I have changed so much that an about post I wrote and pinned 7 months ago already no longer applies in many ways. So here is the next, though certainly not final, iteration of who is behind this blog as well as https://restorativeluciferianism.ghost.io .

Name: Feebz

Age: In my 30s

Identities: Androgyne and pansexual with pronouns ze/zem/zer (they but with z's). I am a Luciferian Buddhist meaning that he acts as my guiding spirit/ishta devata (and partner) while I practice a form of Vajrayana Buddhism that is best compared to where Buddhism met tantric Shaivism historically in what are now called India and Nepal.

My missions: Apply a social justice lens to all topics as well as a restorative approach to whom possible. Write blog posts and fictions of all types in devotion of Lucifer. Survive my Masters in Social Work program.

What I do: Worship The Devil and his demons, slowly find my way along the Noble Eightfold Path, practice shamatha meditations, build queer community and found family in the Pacific Northwest where I live, perform magic through writing, live as an anti-assimilationist weirdo

Spirits I spend my time with: Lucifer (ishta devata and partner), Astaroth, Beelzebub, Belial, Asmodai, and to a developing extent, Shiva and Shakti. Also, most importantly, my kitty Sofia.

[dinuguan]

[unclefather]

me comforting my mullet husband and assuring him that he is still masculine after he had to see another mans butt cheek

[phonographzerohash]

this is an image with a lot of power and while my instincts are telling me to lean into it I don’t feel like the life I’ve lived to this point has equipped me to do it safely

[autistic-af]

Look, if you're having a bad day, here's a 6,000 year old pig-shaped pottery pot.

[foggystarfishmaker]

My day's been fine can I still have the pig pot?

[autistic-af]

Have a row of them

[restorativeluciferian]

I have been wanting to add my modern pigurine collection to this thread for some time. The past becomes the present

[j0jin-deactivated20210309]

[dbrann11]

Funniest thing I have seen in 2020

[leeisstillawake]

[mxcheese]

Ok but legit the funniest part of this is that the cat just knows what he’s about to do before his tongue is even out. He’s done this more than once. A lot more.

[restorativeluciferian]

30s is a great age because you finally reach the point of "This person's behavior harms me. What can I say to fundamentally change them? Oh HAHA, that's right I can't!" And then you distance yourself and there's suddenly peace across the land.

[mylifeforawinegod]

Sit in silence, if you need.

That is to say, if you have a hard time knowing what to offer today, if you have little left to stand on, but you want to be with the Gods, anyway - sit with them.

Don't underestimate the importance of being present. It's easy to believe it's not enough, but being mindful with them is better than avoiding your altars and shrines out of guilt.

Burnout is an insidious beast. It's obligation's angry cousin.

"I have to give offerings every day-"

"Today was awful and I didn't have time-"

"I feel bad that I didn't offer anything today-"

But what happens when you have 2, 3, maybe even 7 days like this? Do you feel so bad about it that it's hard to bounce back?

"I've been neglecting my Gods and I'm upset with myself for it-"

Next time, day one of low energy, low time, low mood: Sit with them. Think about them. Talk to them. By your altar. In your car. On the bus. Laying in bed.

Think of it like you're sending a text to someone you care about.

"Hey. Today was bad. I know I usually do ___, but I don't have it in me today. I just wanted to let you to know I love you."

You'd be surprised. Sometimes just sitting with them gives you a second wind, too.

[restorativeluciferian]

Lucifer: For today's yoga, I want you to lay face down in one of the relaxation asanas

Me: haha why

Lucifer: Because you're going to be incredibly stressed out the next few days

Me: lmao okay but really I'm fine

Also me, hours later: oh fuck panic attack how did the asana feel HOW DID THE ASANA FEEL??

[bringbackmaes14]

I actually haven't been able to stop thinking about this article all day. I'm jittery. Emily Wilson destroyed Christopher Nolan. She basically said "it was nice of him to renew interest in the Odyssey even if he didn't understand the Odyssey at all and did a bad job at it." I feel so vindicated. I'm gonna ride this high for weeks.

‘I would be ashamed to have written any part of this’: Odyssey translator Emily Wilson attacks Nolan blockbuster

Wilson, whose work on Homer’s epic was praised by Nolan, said his film was grandiose and superficial with ‘nothing convincing to say’

Also, separately, I have to include this quote that is not in the Guardian article. It was an in an article from The Times where Emily Wilson was interviewed, but it's behind a paywall so I'm putting a screenshot/alt text instead of just the link. Emily Wilson is such an icon for saying this.

"[Emily Wilson] does, however have views on the women of The Odyssey. 'By Nolan standards this was great for women characters. By Homer standards it was a bit disappointing.'"

QUEEN SHIT POP OFF

[restorativeluciferian]

I am so glad The Guardian emphasized the right part in the caption.

[restorativeluciferian]

Tried to wrap up the night with samatha meditation but then the Calm Abiding Kitty Cat arrived for her due

[restorativeluciferian]

"How do I enter rigpa" I type into DuckDuckGo while telling myself that as long as I am aware that I am supposed to receive Dzögchen transmission in order to effectively practice then I am not cheating in any way.

[restorativeluciferian]

I swear Lily Du has extremely loud ally spirits who whisper in her ear because almost every freaking time she's on Game Changer she makes a fundamental but correct decision while loudly admitting she has no idea what she's doing

[kurhanchyk]

"historians will call them friends" buddy you're looking at this because of historians

[kurhanchyk]

"do your own research" good luck with paleographic analysis of the sources then

[restorativeluciferian]

I don't know what the right word to describe having relationship(not romance) or Hindu or dharmic deities in general. Because using the word work definitely not the best,

"Having a devotional relationship" would be my assumption. Language is imprecise and because English isn't connected to a cultural basis of assuming a person is going to have many specific relationships in general, never mind spiritual ones, we don't have names or labels for close relationships with spirits that are more exact. I have been using "ishta devata" and "ishta devi" in the quest to have precision, but have found that they are not expedient terms to describe my relationship with Lucifer to people who do not have a background in Hinduism. I have been trying out "guiding spirit" and "guardian spirit" lately. If people really need to know, like if I am on a date or something, I will disclose that Lucifer takes the role of a romantic and sexual partner for me as well as being my guardian spirit and guru.

The phrase "deity work" is a complex one. I believe it was created or began to spread in one of the first western witchcraft forums on the internet. That meant that in the community it was used, there was the general assumption that you were a witch or some kind of western magical worker, and what distinguished your path was the kind of "workings" you did. Contrary to some debates I have seen among witches online more recently, It doesn't mean you "work for" the deity or that what you do in your practice is a capitalism-based sort of exploitative "work." It just meant that you involved deities in your practice for magical ends.

I personally avoid the phrase "deity work" because my practice isn't always about what I do, but who I relate to. This means I'm not always the center of my own practice; sometimes I am basically Lucifer's canvas in which he helps fine tune for different energetic occurrences or otherwise curates for other spirits' access. That's not to say I don't have a voice; I often pick spiritual goals based on what I know and he fills in the details on what I don't know and what he feels would be most compatible with me as well as finds different ways to prod me in the right direction. This means daily practice of meditation and yoga as well as regular art practice. "Deity work" is not meant to be a phrase that conveys those types of practice; what I do are devotional actions primarily intended to bring me closer to the divine so I can have a more elevated life and afterlife.

[city-of-ladies]

"In cuneiform, the word ‘midwife’ is written with three logographic signs – or signs that stand for whole words – meaning ‘woman’, ‘inside’ or ‘womb’, and ‘to know’. Midwives, in other words, were women who knew the inside. Their role had both medical and mythological import. Clay tablets that record medical instructions often feature midwives, like one reddish tablet unearthed from an ancient library in Assur written down in the early first millennium BCE. A lengthy collection of prescriptions for a challenging birth combines spells and medicine. It reads like an instruction manual, explaining how to mix and apply salves and oils, and how to massage the pregnant woman’s abdomen to help move labour along. (...)

Women didn’t just treat illnesses and processes specific to other women; they also served as ancient GPs. Some of the earliest records of female physicians appear in clay tablets from the third millennium BCE, including even their names. Dubildamu may not have used a stethoscope 4,500 years ago, but she is listed in an accounting tablet as an azu munus, which in Sumerian means ‘female physician’. A few centuries later, a woman called Ubartum also carried her proverbial medical bag to visit so many patients that her name appears in no fewer than fifty documents. (Incidentally, Ubartum’s brother was also a physician who was married to a princess, the daughter of King Shulgi.) Women continued to work as physicians throughout the region’s long history, and they may have even composed and used medical texts, including one clay tablet written in the early second millennium BCE to assist with childbirth."

Between Two Rivers: Ancient Mesopotamia and the Birth of History, Moudhy Al-Rashid

[philcollinsenjoyer]

explained to an 8 year old that once a fruit is ripe you only have so much time until it rots so you have to eat it soon and she said so i'll never be able to keep it perfect like this forever? no and there are about a million pieces of art for you unrelatedly

[restorativeluciferian]

I was just told that it's quite possible that my close friendship of 6 years has just ended. Not with conflict, not with closure, just my supposed best friend not having the emotional ability to regularly keep in contact and have a conversation when she didn't show up when needed.

I'm not sure I feel any way toward her. I do feel disappointed in the situation. I'm used to friendships ending, but usually more loudly with the other party making it clear that they are unhappy with me. Now that I know I didn't commit any wrongdoing and that also I'm not willing to overextend my own energy to preserve connections where the other person doesn't want to carry their own part, it's strange to see something years old just collapse.

Certainly in my other past friendships there were times where I behaved hurtfully. Much of that hurt was so long ago there is either no longer a need or an ability to make repairs. It helps to realize that the harm I committed was never severe; I never stole from, physically injured, nor irreparably damaged anyone. There were just hard, painful spikes of energy that seemed huge at the time they occurred, but with passing years have faded away to insignificance.

To that point, I wonder how much of the drama I've seen is just one shape of how things can end. Maybe at the end of the day, none of my previous friends could follow me to my next chapters and if it didn't look one way it would have looked more this way. In the end, everything changes.

I've finally learned that blame does not help you control or change a relational outcome, whether you're blaming yourself or the other party. There's only accountability, making amends, and the choice to engage in both. A refusal to engage says a lot about a person's emotional maturity and that they are not likely to be present with you in the long term. I was in a much different place when I befriended this friend of mine and in the past year have wished to be much more selective with whom I'm friends with and more intentional with how I operate within those connections. It has not been a perfect evolution and I have learned during it that there will still be times that I will need to honor more temporary relationships. But it's amazing the new types of people you find yourself surrounded by when you make such a decision; it makes you realize that emotional healing and self-growth are real and achievable outcomes that lead to a happier life.

Anyway, I wish my seemingly now former friend the best, I really do. At the same time, I look forward to reinvesting my energy into those who have more similar growth and restoration-oriented journeys to my own.

[burr-ell]

YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY. YOU CAN HANDLE CRITIQUE. YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY. YOU CAN EMBRACE BEING TOLD YOU WERE WRONG. YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY. YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH UNPLEASANT TASKS. YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY. YOU CAN DELIVER DISAPPOINTING NEWS. YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY. YOU KNOW HOW TO BE DISAGREED WITH. YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY. YOU CAN BE CORRECTED. YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY. YOU CAN BE TOLD YOU MESSED UP. YOU ARE A REGULAR GUY. YOU ARE ABLE TO DO HARD THINGS.