Just drag me to the nearest cementery

25y/o | she/her | Im just trying to live in peace | cw: ???

[resurrectthemoon]

🔴🟠🟡 Introduction 🟢🔵🟣

Hey wassup. Im Alex (25f). I'm trying not to track any weight so I can focus on visual results, I also dont have a scale yet but hey, at least I wont obsess on numbers. Last time the heavy restriction had me on bad binge cycles, but Im on the right track again. Here are some useless stats:

Height: 1.70m

hw:85kg

Cw: somewhere around 68kg

Maybe this journey will give me some sort of purpose. Maybe life will be better if Im skinny.

🔷🔹While we wait, lets have some tea🔹🔷

[fatanddisorderedfreak]

[sainttversacse]

do it for the:

- are you eating enough?

- people referring to you as that one skinny girl

- the girl you saw in the mirror when you first started

- “you have my dream body” comments

- photos of yourself being considered thinspo

- believing people when they tell you that you look pretty

Just do it.

[ch3ls34y4l8r]

ALTERNATIVE THlNSPO YOU HAVEN'T SEEN 100 TIMES BEFORE!!

[resurrectthemoon]

Ayo I know I've been eating maintainance (1700) once a week but the rest has been all from 800 to 1200 so WHY CANT I GET TO MY FIRST GW. I'VE BEEN STUCK AT 65.7 (my scale is cheap af and likes to stick to certain numbers) FOR 3 WEEKS. Im tired of this. There should be some wl happening at least. Why WONT IT GO DOWN. I havent gained, which is nice ig but why is it so hard to break out of a gw prison?

Its like my body is actively mocking me

[resurrectthemoon]

The "its all water weight, dont worry" speech was so right but I cant believe it was a whole 2kg of water. Impressive stuff. Bless horsetail!

[resurrectthemoon]

Autumn will look so good on me once Im skinny

[resurrectthemoon]

I dont enjoy the "food is the enemy" mentality. We're already in a toxic enough relationship with it to be antagonizing it that way.

Food is a tool. Food is a thing that exists and sometimes we need it. Food is nutrition.

Food is not the enemy. Cravings are. Binges are. Lack of control is.

Weakness is the real enemy

[resurrectthemoon]

I've noticed that when I have a lot of food/ingredients at home I tend to eat less, but when I run out of the food I usually eat I start feeling the urge to binge... Weird...

[resurrectthemoon]

Lose It says I'll reach my ugw on the 25th of December. What a lovely christmas gift I'll get.

I CANT WAIT

[resurrectthemoon]

I miss that summer before uni where I could just rot in bed and ⭐ve. Have no obligations, no money troubles, no access to binge foods. My mom would cook healthy meals and be happy about my w3ightl0ss. Went to the gym 4 days a week and felt tingly all the time. I cant believe having autonomy changed me, and I cant believe it took me 7 years to get the control back. Im just happy its never too late.

[sinkmyteethin]

[resurrectthemoon]

I had to restrict less this week because of double shifts at work but DAMN I MISSED ⭐VING

[resurrectthemoon]

My biggest th1nspo:

My adhd fueled boyfriend who has a fast af metabolism, forgets to eat, does -50 exercise, can engulf fast food and sweets, will not gain a single pound and has his bones poking out

I love the guy but I envy him so much

[resurrectthemoon]

I can't help but to think I have a limited amount of times that I can stand up real fast, almost black out and go back to normal until its GAME OVER for real

[resurrectthemoon]

You know what? As much as Im scared of it, I cant wait for the "are you even eating", "youre not starving yourself, are you?" questions from my family

You caused this, dont even dare to be concerned about it now

[resurrectthemoon]

I like to think that the tingly feeling I get on my limbs on the days I restrict more is the fat dissolving, waiting to leave my body

It makes me feel like Im flying