reubenlusse

The funniest person of all time

[reubenlusse]

just figured out gay marriage isn't legal in japan ...no yaoi or yuri in the motherland?... sad... no...

[reubenlusse]

i would only do a drug if it made me start floating towards the smell like its a freshly baked pie in a cartoon

[reubenlusse]

snacks are an AWESOME invention thanks to whoever made those

[reubenlusse]

Sometimes I get cold I can't say I'm a fan It's better than being hot But my wet hair is horrible and I hate it and I want to die and I want to die and I am singing that song hahahaaaaa epic

[reubenlusse]

What if I'm never enough, What if I'll never be loved? Tears in my eyes as I pray to above, and wish to be smothered in somebody's love. God put me in a big furry belly, Now I feel like a hand in a glove. Beautiful and the perfect fit. I don't think I could ever get tired of this.

[reubenlusse]

lying about being sick to skip school and then i might get sick fr tmr from eating sick brothers ice cream cake leftovers.... his germs.. no.. yuckky....

[reubenlusse]

instead of seeing how touched starved you are you could see how punch starved you are by punching yourself

[reubenlusse]

there is something about pusheen that makes me feel so maternal... let me protect you.. and love you with all my heart.. i love you pusheen

[reubenlusse]

Guy who is sad:

Guy who is sad: "i am sad every day bro" The Paul " ITS EVERYDAY BRO!!!!!!"

[reubenlusse]

in a public discord vc and this guy starts beating his meat so I play a sprunki roblox video to help him finish

[reubenlusse]

finally putting away my giant laundry pile that has been growing for weeks just to get a new one the next day.. wow life is a prison

[reubenlusse]

my dog coming inside after toasting in the 100 degree heat.. hello are you tanned? this guy has a gorgeous glow and bro is toasty too! hello little toast

bread: hi I am your dog

then the toaster comes and makes him a new man

[reubenlusse]

they should make evil chips that taste horrible and make your breath smell like pure rotting

oh wait they already exist FUCKASS SOUR CREAM AND ONION EWWWW EWWW I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

[reubenlusse]

eating a sandwich and everything slides out broo I will invent a sandwich SHIELD so nothing bad can happen to my beautiful sandwich ever again

[reubenlusse]

seeing trans men get buzzcuts is even more proof that they are a man because that is foolish bro

once the testosterone starts running through your veins you are more stupid

[reubenlusse]

me pulling the key out of the car first try because I'm better than my dad and the keys love me and want to kiss me

[reubenlusse]

imagine you are on a boat with your friend, sirens try to kill you guys, and THAT'S how you figure out your friend is into inflation furries

"so uhh stop the boat what was that bro..."

gotta jump in the ocean and never come back after that