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@revengesworn
REVENGESWORN: a multimuse for characters from the manga TOKYO REVENGERS by ken wakui, featuring manjiro "mikey" sano as the primary muse. triggering content is likely to be found within, so please read the rules before following. written by meri!
hello all!! i figured it was worth giving an update so just so you all know, i haven't been doing too well lately in terms of like. my mental health/self-esteem otl - i had a few meltdowns at/on the way to the place i usually volunteer at, which has hit me kind of hard this week in particular. because of that i haven't really been as active as usual here lately i feel like?? and i don't know how much longer this mood will last, so...... this is a head's up that i might slow down in terms of activity for a while going forwards.
in all likelihood it won't be that noticeable a drop, since this blog/my writing is what i use to cheer myself up a lot of the time anyway! lol - but since i can't be certain i wanted to put it out there anyway, just in case. fingers crossed things get better and not worse & that my therapy session next week helps a little??? we will see.
SENJU IS FINALLY COMING TO PAZURIBE YOU GUYS!!!!!!! should i re-download the game for the sole purpose of getting her... ngl i am. tempted.................
also new mikey starter call because my obsession with him is slowly creeping back in ngl......... i'll work on senju starters today as well shortly, but i'm eager to make the most of this burst of muse while i have it!
i keep seeing posts lately about how the dark impulses thing was a stupid plot point because it invalidates mikey's trauma, or like, how it should've been his trauma that was behind his actions instead of some supernatural curse, and... i mean valid take ig, i do get where it comes from. part of me kind of sort of agrees. but i also can't entirely get behind it??
because to me, his trauma and mindset too are still pretty clearly still key reasons in why things turned out the way they did for him. to start with, mikey is pretty clearly a worse person in the timelines where his friends and loved ones have been killed. generally speaking the more trauma he goes through, the worse he gets. every time he "falls" to the darkness, it's almost always triggered by some kind of loss - which in itself implies that in hypothetical circumstances where his loved one/ones did survive, he wouldn't have gone as far as he did/would've been able to reign in the curse much more if not entirely.
so i'm not quite sure how to put it, but it's kind of like... to me, that shows that his trauma and grief do have a strong impact on him through the way he interacts with and responds to the curse. if that makes sense?? when he has people surrounding him to support him, he's able to hold it back, but when he loses people and can't face that loss, that's when he starts to give in. maybe he starts thinking that maybe his darkness is a good thing, that it can protect the people he loves where strength can't - maybe he finds it more difficult to care about other people and the consequences of hurting them too, because why should he care about them if all the people he loves are gone? etc. etc. his trauma is still having a very direct impact on his actions and mental state, which make the curse more and more difficult for him to fight against. or to even want to fight against, i think.
the curse isn't too different functionally than a mental illness, in that sense. it's not mikey's fault for having it (that'd still be the case whether the source was his brain/something he was born with OR an outside influence!), but unfortunately that doesn't stop it being there, so he has to figure out how to live with it/manage it as best he can - which trauma and unhealthy mindsets/coping mechanisms are obviously going to make much harder.
maybe i'm giving wakui too much credit, though?? he rushed the hell out of tr's ending and clearly should've put way more effort into how it came across as well, lol, but it doesn't quite feel fair to say (imo) that mikey's trauma is made completely unimportant when the curse is revealed. or am i biased because i love supernatural/curse type plots and was kind of anticipating one even before the reveal, so i was already primed to enjoy it............ idk. maybe!! genuinely would love to hear all your thoughts on this (disagreements are very welcome too!) because it's interesting to me and i'd like to know if there's an aspect to the criticism i'm missing due to my bias, lmao.
tokyo revengers is a pretty compassionate manga i think. idk. i really like that about it.
i've spent a lot of time thinking about mikey's relationship with the ideas of "strength" and weakness", and why being weak is something he fears so much - i think there's multiple layers to it - but one aspect i'm considering currently that i hadn't too much before is that i do think he has some level of fear of rejection. like thinking he'll be rejected/abandoned if he's weak.
that's not the whole of it, of course. i'm blanking out atm (thanks brainfog) but there's other elements of it like fear of others being hurt/being unable to protect them, potentially feeling like being strong is what gives him worth/makes up for his 'darkness'/weak sides, the toxic masculinity angle that i still need to think more on/need more brainpower to fully dissect, but like. there is some fear of the external reaction he'd face from his loved ones on top of all that too, i think.
you could maybe argue that he's just projecting the importance he puts on strength onto them and assuming they'd feel the same, which i need to think about more too, but idk. i think the way he remembers his father and how his mother always valued his strength might've factored in too... i wonder if he's also afraid of the idea that if he shows his weakness, that'll be a burden on others that'll end up getting them hurt as well? which of course is peak irony because they end up getting hurt anyway/arguably even more when he tries to handle everything by himself......................
i was going to write way more and talk about why i suddenly got this impression that he's afraid of rejection as well but the brainfog has hit SO hard while writing this and i'm struggling to put things in words now, so. i will stop. BUT I MUST SPEND MORE TIME THINKING ABOUT THIS GOING FORWARDS...........
also new mikey starter call because my obsession with him is slowly creeping back in ngl......... i'll work on senju starters today as well shortly, but i'm eager to make the most of this burst of muse while i have it!
Kazutora was originally going to ignore him, push off the wall and go somewhere else to light up in the shady corners of the back alley ways to clear his mind before the others came demanding more from him to do but the fact Mikey of all people had approached him like a zombie who's still warm with that thousand yard stare. He wonders what made him like this, he couldn't have ever owned up to any of his doings as a child so maybe it was maturity at play—maybe? He didn't want to think of the complexities of it.
“ So you're coming to me why? ” a soft yet empty smile curled the corners of the taller's lips that did not reach his unsettling stare, trying to decide if he should be angry or not at the sheer audacity of the blond to so freely walk up to him after his eraser from Toman history, the empty promises and too quiet nights behind bars all alone then getting swept up in the current gang because of for some reason or another beyond his control. "If you're looking for sympathy Sano, you've come to the wrong place."
The only reason Kazutora hadn't completely pushed him away ( violently or not ) could've been some remaining duvet of sympathy born from the tiny bit of sentimental value he had for the short blond make.
Mikey's expression doesn't change for a long moment... until he, too, smiles - ever so slightly. It's a smile just as empty as Kazutora's.
Why is he here? Kazutora is obviously right - it is too late. He wonders if maybe some part of him is wanting exactly what Kazutora's accused him of - sympathy, or pity... he hadn't expected any, and he thinks he didn't come here in search of it, but it wouldn't be a surprise if he suddenly realized he'd been lying to himself, either.
After all, Mikey is just that - selfish at his core. He's an adult now, but he still hasn't grown up. For the longest time, he told himself that he could protect the ones he loved as if that was enough to make up for everything else about him - but then, why hadn't he told anyone of the darkness always lurking in the back of his mind? Why had he tried to deal with it all alone?
Probably... he just wanted to prove to himself that he could. He'd told himself that they wouldn't understand, that they deserved better than him burdening them, but wasn't that just an excuse to try and play the hero? What good was he if he couldn't be strong? That was always what he'd thought, because being strong was all he had - except he'd failed to realize he'd never had that, either. He's always been weak. Weaker than anyone else.
"...Yeah. I couldn't ask for something like that." he says - a little sad, but almost sounding resigned. The worst part is that even though he's aware of what kind of person he is... he just can't seem to change. That's probably what he hates the most.
"I just thought... I don't know. Maybe it'd mean something if you heard me say it." Strangely, Mikey's tone is almost nostalgic, and he wonders vaguely if it makes him seem insincere. He hopes not. "There's nothing I can do that'll fix anything now. So, I guess what I'm asking is... what do you want me to do?"
i wanna make mikey analysis posts............ i want to try writing meta again..... but i need to reread the series so bad because there's a lot i don't remember, and i tend to lose confidence in my takes when it's been a while since i've read a series for that reason.
i feel like there's a lot to say about toxic masculinity with him actually, but i feel like i'm not smart enough to be the one to do that atm. MAYBE ONE DAY...
senju starter call time!! i can't help myself & decided to move her back from her sideblog since i think she'll get more interactions if she's here. anyway season 4 WHEN.......
"...You were right."
When Mikey finally speaks... they're more like the words of a ghost than of a person. Even though he's physically present, and his expression isn't even really all that different from how it usually is, there's something not quite there about his presence. It's like he's looking somewhere far away without seeing what's in front of him - gone to a place that no-one can touch, somewhere impossibly distant.
It's hard to hear anything unusual in his tone of voice, too. Even when he looks at Kazutora and speaks again, any emotion he might be feeling seems to be buried behind a sense of nothing - making it hard to discern how he really feels. But maybe some hints of it have already become present... because even without being able to pinpoint a concrete reason, somehow, it couldn't be more obvious that something is wrong.
"You were right, Kazutora. It's all my fault."
@oiyuri ( starter! )
New tokyo revengers art released!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO NAOTO! Possibly one of the most underrated tr characters!
tbh even though i haven't read it properly translated or anything, the draken and mitsuya event story in the new tr game makes me so happy............ they are everything to meeeeee ;ww;
senju starter call time!! i can't help myself & decided to move her back from her sideblog since i think she'll get more interactions if she's here. anyway season 4 WHEN.......
6 months enough to make u want to redraw I think….
( original below if ur interested )
