Hello 2023
Aaaah, its been a while eh? I needed to put this somewhere and I thought here is my best option...
Dear Self,
You are not feeling it today. I can see that, I can feel that you are annoyed. Disappointed? Who would be happy about that feeling right? Yes, you are quite disappointed. Let me tell you why… Because you had an expectation. Every disappointment was rooted in expectations. And you know what? It's okay. It does happen. What was it you expected? Ah.. Someone gave you his word. Someone actually told you they will get back to you but it never happened. Of course, that can be frustrating. While you understand there could be several reasons behind it, you still feel it, and it's valid to feel that way especially if you trust the person right? It was frustrating because the words he left are like a trigger or a push of a button in your brain telling you "look forward to it" and so you waited…. and waited. But it didn't happen. Your mind wandered through the night and you are clueless. Of course, anxiety would creep in.
I know… I know self… You are not demanding anything. You understand CHANGES can happen. CIRCUMSTANCES happen. But you WERE CLUELESS. Who can blame you for something you have no idea right? But you were in that lingering state of wandering blindly. Of course, you'd feel scared. Stuck for that period of time. You know that something might happen. Something that could transpire. But you still didn't know right? So it's okay. Just breathe. Think of it like it was the first few days. You don't really need to know everything that's going on. Sometimes you just have to let time decide the answers you seek. Extend your patience and an open mind. Understand that people are not responsible for what you feel. You are in control. You are the master of your own self.
So breathe, let the negative feelings fade as you remind yourself… You are doing just fine. You weren't bad. You just had a series of emotions but you can control them. You decide whether to let it eat you or just simply take it as an unusual occurrence that could happen every now and then. So just be you… You do you. Reshift your focus on what makes you productive. Go make use of the habits that make you happy on a daily basis. You are understanding. You are enough.