Bittersweet Symphony

A London girl just trying to find her way. Call me Lolette. I like food, makeup and Topshop.

[verosays]

This is what structural racism looks like. 

Chicago, we have to do better.

[staypozitive]

[rewindddd-blog]

Lol...

[rewindddd-blog]

March.

I would like to think that where I am in my life is where I am meant to be. However, I almost feel as if I have made a lot of mistakes that could have been avoided. In five years' time, will I find that the decisions that I make now end up being mistakes? What if I never become content? I'm always learning, and I don't like to settle. I get bored so easily. What if I'm never going to be completely happy? Will I be completely happy one day? Will I ever be satisfied? I love memories, but they sometimes scare me. They scare me because I fear that they will turn out to be mistakes. I have so many questions, but, because there are so many, I might just have to settle and live without knowing the answers.

[rewindddd-blog]

November.

I always find that this month is a bit odd for me. There are things that I always manage to forget until November comes round. Lots of memories, lots of lessons learnt. Sadly, I tend to return to that 'dark place' that I constantly try to avoid. Lately, all I have wanted to do was scream. But I don't even know what I want to scream about. Anger, frustration, delayed disappointment... My heart is melancholy at the moment. I don't know what to feel.

[rewindddd-blog]

So if I am assuming correctly...

This girl is older than me AND she has a better car than mine.

Oh, well. Shit happens.

[liveasloved]

A clever typography series using letters within a word to illustrate the word.

[beautyappeal]

[cr-ania]

Aw pretty! This is Nic from Pixiwoo!

[rewindddd-blog]

Me and my babe on Saturday at a wedding reception.

I'm so in love with this dress! Usually I hate wearing pink, but this pattern was so fitting with the lovely weather we've been having in London lately.

[soniahna]

[rewindddd-blog]

Thoughts.

Am I stupid for looking back at old times?

I am a little. Starting from scratch brings back a familiar feeling. A feeling that I haven't felt in over a year. Until now, I can't help but think...do you still think about me? If I controlled my anger a little better, would we still be together? Or would we still have ended up parting ways? Did you ever really love me? Do you regret anything you said? Did we make a big mistake?

When we were together, I sometimes felt like I wasn't good enough for you. I was insecure. Now that I've fought away those insecurities, somehow I still wonder if I'm good enough for you. Yes, I've moved on. And I know you have too. We are both happy separately. But deep down inside, I know I'll always have that soft spot for you.

I hate that us breaking up turned out better for me. And I hate that I could try to convince myself over and over again that I hate you, and everything you did to break me. Then when I bump into you, all that hate fades away. When we were together, the feeling was euphoric. Nothing else mattered. Only you mattered. Even up to this point, I always feel obliged to know how you are doing. When something good happens to me, I always hope that something good turns out for you too. I still care. Maybe not in the way that I used to, but I still do.

I wish we could be friends. But I will never let that happen. When I see you, I see a different person. You're not the person that I once knew. And I still don't want to get to know who you are; I prefer to think of who you were. It's almost as if there's a barrier in my heart between 'Friends' and 'The Past'. No matter what I do, you never seem to cross over that barrier to 'Friends'.

As much as I don't want you to know how I feel, a small part of me still wants you to read this post. You most likely won't. And even if you did, you probably wouldn't want to talk to me ever again.

[littleplumface-blog]

Laugh Laff Fun Comedy Show, April 20th 2012

The ‘Dreamgirls’ performing!

[littleplumface-blog]

Laugh Laff Fun Comedy Show, April 20th 2012

Here’s me busy working away on the main act of the night!

[zyrahsamar]

[rewindddd-blog]

There are some beautiful skylines in South East Asia. I feel like going on holiday again.

[drunkgirlsofdreams-blog]

Visit Original Link

[rewindddd-blog]

Drake - Doing It Wrong

[blindbonesbradley-deactivated20]

You’re going to discover that conversations are best at 4am. The heavier the eyelids, the sincerer the words. Those are the talks you’ll remember. It’s ok not to know the answer and silence is not awkward. It’s shared, so share it more often than not.

Jeff Stuckel  (via fuckoff-mondays)

[rewindddd-blog]

Ramble.

It's almost as if I want to have my cake and eat it too; as if I can never be fully content. And I can't understand why. Why do I always want more? I've been so blessed over the last four months or so, but my mind still drifts into the deep from time to time. 'Curiosity killed the cat', as they say.

However, if I don't willingly sail into the murky waters of the past every so often, I'll go insane when these old truths come to surface by surprise. But why must I do this? Why do I still think about this? I am more than satisfied at the moment with the sweetness that life has given me

I guess I'll just have to accept past pain for what it is; it's like a scar. I know it's always going to be there, but I can live with it.

[rewindddd-blog]

The Oreo cupcakes that my sister made the other week! :D