only one shot ✝

rhys bartholomew coltrane. xviii. "somewhere deep down there's a decent man in me, he just can't be found."

[rhyscoltrane]

@rhyspieces: i tried so hard to get into college that i forgot to submit any apps oops :)

[rhyscoltrane]

@kingholden: ayyy multiple ivy league offers! where to go next fall? hmmmmmm decisions decisions :)

@rhyspieces: let me know when you drop out :)

[rhyscoltrane]

text message ; rhys

alex: i understand man. don't worry about it. hope everything's alright tho

alex: he cares about you rhys

alex: not that i want to get involved or anything so i'll shut my mouth about it but yeah

alex: you're welcome. i'm alright i guess, thanks for asking. yeah no he didn't take it well at all haha

rhys: i'm 10 days sober isn't that impressive :P

rhys: too much sometimes

rhys: well thanks anyway for that too

rhys: hey props to you for being you, though. i mean it's probably hard or whatever but i say fuck 'em

[rhyscoltrane]

( text: rhys )

Zaki: :) I want to carry on making you happy. But there are just some things I'm not ready to do right now. I wish I was. Honestly, I wish I didn't care so much, I wish I wasn't so worried. But I am. There aren't a lot of options for me if my family disowns me, there aren't a lot of places I can go and I'm fairly certain my father will freeze my trust fund too. It's not as easy as you think it is, Rhys. So please, I just need to you to understand or be patient or something. I know that's asking for a lot but... please.

Zaki: Are you going to be more specific?

Rhys: okay. okay, i'm sorry, i just...i don't know. i just wish people could see how i feel about you i guess.

Rhys: why? do you want me to? ;)

Rhys: i guess just sometimes i wonder what it'd be like, you know? if we stuck it out. like maybe we'd get a place together or something and that's where it would start. and we could live our lives and be happy, you know? just be us. i mean we could go on dates and shit and it's just little stuff i guess

[rhyscoltrane]

( text: rhys )

Zaki: No, of course not... I don't expect you to stick around forever if that's the case. It's not fair on you, you deserve to be happy

Zaki: I just don't want to talk about it

Zaki: What kind of things do you think about?

Rhys: but don't you get it? you make me happy

Rhys: fine

Rhys: i don't know...just random shit i guess

[rhyscoltrane]

( text: rhys )

Zaki: Rhys you knew this was how things are going to be when we started dating, you knew our relationship wouldn't be one we could flaunt about in public.

Zaki: Can we just drop this please? I'm sorry if I upset you by making you delete that picture but it made me uncomfortable.

Zaki: Wait, you think about our future?

Rhys: but is it going to be like that forever?

Rhys: why can't we just talk about it?

Rhys: i guess sometimes yeah

[rhyscoltrane]

( text: rhys )

Zaki: It's easy for you to say! You don't know what will happen to me if I ever came out. I've only just learned to accept myself. Do you honestly think everyone else will accept me? My family? Some of my friends? My choice is choosing between having a roof over my head with a family that loves me and being "the real me" I will choose that former, always. It's not about you, okay?

Zaki: I assumed you understood, but I guess not

Rhys: wait so you'd take a roof over us?

Rhys: let me ask you something

Rhys: if in the distant future we were still together and you still hadn't come out would we just keep brokeback mountaining that shit? am i gonna be 40 and seeing you for a quick fling and then you go back to your wife and kids that dad picked out or something?

[rhyscoltrane]

( text: rhys )

Zaki: That's not fair, Rhys. You know I can't do anything about our situation

Zaki: Besides, it doesn't matter as long as we know it's real, right?

Rhys: yes you can! you have a CHOICE, zaki! you always have a choice!

Rhys: i don't get it

Rhys: why don't you want people to know the real you?

Rhys: what is so fucking bad about being attracted to me? or men or whatever?

[rhyscoltrane]

( text: rhys )

Zaki: Faris has threatened to tell him!

Zaki: I have no problem with you expressing it, in fact I encourage it. It's when it could potentially get me in a lot of trouble that it becomes a problem. There's nothing wrong with you expressing it off of social media and when it's just the two of us.

Rhys: faris has a stick up his ass just ignore him

Rhys: that's not the point

Rhys: how long are we going to keep pretending like this isn't a thing?

[rhyscoltrane]

( text: rhys )

Zaki: It's more than a big deal and because of you, my father is going to kill me

Zaki: and 'sexy as hell', really Rhys? Thanks a whole lot!

Rhys: it's not like he's going to find out

Rhys: w o w sorry that maybe i want to be able to express how much i care about you once in a while

[rhyscoltrane]

( text: rhys )

Zaki: Thank you.

Zaki: Why the heck would you even do that Rhys?

Rhys: i didn't think it was a big deal

Rhys: you couldn't even see your face

[rhyscoltrane]

( text: rhys )

Zaki: Maybe in your eyes, but not in the eyes of my father and certainly not in the eyes of Allah!

Zaki: Delete it! Please Rhys...

Rhys: fine, fine consider it deleted

[rhyscoltrane]

[ texts : rhys ]

Onyx: i literally just said that i'm the savior so as long as you stick with me everything will by peachy i'm sure, don't quote me on that though

Rhys: i'm a bad listener

Rhys: you're not making me feel better

Rhys: wait why is the world exploding or falling apart or whatever?

[rhyscoltrane]

( text: rhys )

Zaki: You know it's me, I know it's me, Faris knows it's me, I'm sure other people can hazard a guess that it's me.

Zaki: Delete the picture then I will calm down!

Rhys: but it's just a tattoo, there's nothing wrong with a tattoo

Rhys: so ! many ! exclamation ! points !

[rhyscoltrane]

( text: rhys )

Zaki: You also promised you wouldn't tell anyone about the tattoo! Now everyone knows and before long Gossip Girl is going to post about it!

Zaki: Faris knows it's me! What's stopping him from telling my father?!

Zaki: Rhys, now is not the time and quite frankly I don't care! Delete that picture!

Rhys: oh c'mon nobody knows it's you! you're freaking out over nothing

Rhys: faris just thinks it's you, calm down

Rhys: why :( i like the picture

[rhyscoltrane]

( text: rhys )

Zaki: Serious question right now: are you drunk or high? Not that you should be either of those things since you're supposed to be sober. However, there must be some plausible explanation as to why you would upload that picture on instagram.

Rhys: no and no, i made a promise that night we had dinner remember?

Rhys: what? nobody knows it's you

Rhys: plus i'm horny and lonely what else am i supposed to do

[rhyscoltrane]

↳ INSTAGRAM: @rhyspieces: uploaded a new photo

sexy as hell.

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