s.

do not worry dear. I'll be washed away tomorrow at 0546 hours, with all which belongs to me.

[ricerestricochet]

wrong place to look at. won't find.

[ricerestricochet]

I feel. I feel alone. And I feel lonely. It wasn't supposed to be. Or maybe it was. I am just confused. Or tired. Or angry.

[ricerestricochet]

"The sun will come out and wonder why you left."

[ricerestricochet]

I forgot how to be alone. It hurts anew.

[ricerestricochet]

The storm did not pass. I'm walking through it. I'm being brave about it. I'm not alone.

[mxoliviasparrow-deactivated2017]

[almost-evil]

It’s like being in love: giving somebody the power to hurt you and trusting (or hoping) they won’t.

Marina Abramović, Rest Energy

[ricerestricochet]

I'm being brave about it. Please hold on.

[ricerestricochet]

June 2022

She was aloof from him now in her beauty, in her sadness. He would let her be, and he passed her without a word, though it hurt him that she should look so distant, and he could not reach her, he could do nothing to help her.

-Virginia Woolf, To the Lighthouse.

[ricerestricochet]

It's September already. The storm was forecasted to pass by the middle of July. I wish for it to pass by. The wooden beams of the crumbling house dreads the storm. Yet, they wish for it to pass by.

[ricerestricochet]

But I was late for this, late for that

Late for the love of my life

And when I die alone, when I die alone

Die I'll be on time.

[ricerestricochet]

I've failed at this. Whatever this was. With all its bits and pieces. I've failed. The certainty in the fact is irrefutable. I need to fix myself. I need to fix myself before it ends.

[notabiologist]

a fluffy friend

[ricerestricochet]

"I want to love her to the point of creation"

[ricerestricochet]

What do you do with the feelings you do not want?

The ones that hurt. The ones that fog your mind. The ones that make me a bad person. I am not a bad person. Or so I think. In all fairness, I do not want to be one. I want to be happy. What do I do with the feelings that I do not want? Can I not be done with them? Do I have to wait? This hurts. It honestly does. I am not a bad person, I swear. Or so I think.

[infected]

Antwerp, Belgium, photos by orion_concept

[infected]

Holly Village, UK, photo by goldtopviews

[ricerestricochet]

Why must it hurt this bad?

Why can't it be over?

I wish it was over.