Basically a Richie Tozier Masterlist

every single richie line and thought from the book, miniseries, and films... enjoy

[richietozier-quotes]

“No way. It’ll be gone. Razed in an urban-renewal program. Changed into an Elks’ Hall or a Bowl-a-Drome or an Electric Dreamscape Video Arcade. Or maybe burned down one night when the odds finally ran out on some drunk shoe salesman smoking in bed. All gone, Richie—just like the glasses Henry Bowers always used to rag you about. What’s that Springsteen song say? Glory days . . . gone in the wink of a young girl’s eye. What young girl? Why, Bev, of course. Bev . . .”

~ Part 1: the Shadow Before, 3. Six Phone Calls (1985): Richie Tozier Takes a Powder

[richietozier-quotes]

“’In Derry, operator—’ Derry! God! Even the word felt strange and forgotten in his mouth; saying it was like kissing an antique. ‘—do you have a number for the Derry Town House?’”

~ Part 1: the Shadow Before, 3. Six Phone Calls (1985): Richie Tozier Takes a Powder

[richietozier-quotes]

“Aw, did you see those guys?”(”I saw you make it worse,”) “Oh, come on, Eddie Spaghetti, it was just a joke!” (”Sometimes you j-joke too much,”) “Yeah, well sometimes you have to make jokes or you die of boredom. I mean are we men? Or are we mice?” (”We’re mice!”) “Then let’s act like mice.”

~ It (1990) 47:24

[richietozier-quotes]

“If I were you guys, I wouldn't pay to see a monster movie, I’d just stay home and look in the mirror!”

~ It (1990) 47:01

[richietozier-quotes]

“Sure. In a ditch. All decomposed, covered in worms and maggots. Smelling like Eddie’s mom’s underwear.”

~ It (2017) 13:24

[richietozier-quotes]

“Beats spending it inside your mother. Oh!”

~ It (2017) 13:01

[richietozier-quotes]

“No—let me take care of that,”  “You’ve been a peach, my deah. A Jawja peach, a cawse.”

~ Part 1: the Shadow Before, 3. Six Phone Calls (1985): Richie Tozier Takes a Powder

[richietozier-quotes]

‘Only twenty-six miles?’ Rich thought. ‘Is that all, Carol? Well, maybe it is—in miles, anyway. But you don’t have the slightest idea how far it really is to Derry, and I don’t, either. But oh God, oh dear God, I am going to find out.’

~ Part 1: the Shadow Before, 3. Six Phone Calls (1985): Richie Tozier Takes a Powder

[richietozier-quotes]

“It’s great.” “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!”

~ It (1990) 40:31

[richietozier-quotes]

“You are a genius, Haystack.”

~ It (1990) 40:26

[richietozier-quotes]

“I start my training.” “Street Fighter.”

It (2017) 12:55

[richietozier-quotes]

“Yeah? Try tickling your pickle for the first time”

~ It (2017) 12:51

[richietozier-quotes]

“Just talent, my dear.” “I’m so stuffed with talent I have to plug up all my bodily orifices to keep it from just running out like . . . well, just running out.”“Be a dear and see what you can do, would you?”

~ Part 1: the Shadow Before, 3. Six Phone Calls (1985): Richie Tozier Takes a Powder

[richietozier-quotes]

“Kinky Briefcase, Sexual Accountant, here—I had a fellow come in the other day who wanted to know what the worst thing was about getting AIDS.” “I told him right away—trying to explain to your mother how you picked it up from a Haitian girl. Until next time, this is Kinky Briefcase, Sexual Accountant, saying ‘You need my card if you can’t get hard.’ ”

~ Part 1: the Shadow Before, 3. Six Phone Calls (1985): Richie Tozier Takes a Powder

[richietozier-quotes]

“So, you, uh... Haystack. What you building, a dam or somethin’?” (”Yeah.”) “You built one before?” (”No.”) “How do you know it’ll work?” (”Well of course it will, why wouldn’t it?”) “Yeah, but how do you know?” (the rest of them are then like lmao he just knows) “Well, okay!”

~ It (1990) 39:39

[richietozier-quotes]

“You were expecting, maybe, Gunga Din?” (”That’s Richie, he can drive you to the bughouse and back. But he’s okay.”) “I heard that, you skirt. Hi, Bill. How you doin’ Eddie Spaghetti?” (”Don’t do that. I hate it when you do that. And don’t call me ‘Eddie Spaghetti.’”) “Oh, you love it, Eddie. It’s what makes you so chocolicious. Richie Tozier’s the name. And doing voices is my game. This is Stan ‘The Man’ uris. Stan is a Jew which means he’s really smart and says ‘Oy’ a lot.”

~ It (1990) 39:09

[richietozier-quotes]

“Hey, what’s this? By George, Martha, it’s the River Nile and four, count them, four sphinxes.”

~ It (1990) 39:00