I’ve thought a lot about this over the last 24 days (yeah, I counted) and suddenly felt the need to sit down and get all of it out.
Back on Nov. 17, I made a comment to some fellow tumblr content creators about writing — it was essentially voicing a frustration. I said: “I hate debating with myself whether to write an OC or reader insert, trying to figure out what will get more attention because I really want people to read my story.”
This was, in no way, a commentary on one being better than the other, or that I disliked one or thought less of one over the other. If you’ve read my stories, you know that I’ve done both. Have I done mostly OCs? Yes. I have a minor in creative writing, so creating original characters is my default. But I in NO WAY have ANYTHING against reader insert. I read the fuck out of them. And I’ve enjoyed exploring that type of writing.
The resulting conversation was nothing that was alarming or cause for concern — just all the writers expressing opinions and experiences. But I found myself getting super upset, especially how the conversation quickly turned to “there’s nothing wrong with reader insert.” Which I agree, there’s nothing wrong with that. But, as I kept explaining, that wasn’t what I was trying to say. I was expressing frustration that my brain doubted my worth as a writer when it came to OC vs reader insert.
I was already upset about my writing, upset that I wasn’t hitting goals that I wanted, upset that I had all this inspiration and no motivation because I kept thinking “Who in the hell will fucking read this shit anyway?”
And so, I did what I do best. I told them all I was sorry for bringing it up or not explaining myself well; I wasn’t trying to attack anyone for enjoying reader inserts or writing reader inserts. And I logged off. Then I promptly busted into tears.
I kept thinking about how, when I started my tumblr account, there was this community that was so accepting. That we talked about all kinds of things, and writers worked together and formed friendships on improving their writing and putting together headcanons and sharing each others’ stories. And I realized, I hadn’t felt that way about the tumblr community in a very long time.
I’m not blaming creators here and I’m not blaming readers/users. It’s just what happens on social media when companies shift things on the platform, when they change the algorithms, when fandoms change and just a ton of other things.
And it made me so mad. And I just cried because I’ve … I’ve always been a writer. I’ve been writing stories since I was in the third grade. I’ve always carried a notebook and pen to jot down stories and ideas. I have a degree in journalism, but also have a creative writing minor that I threw myself into heavily. I continue to take writing courses, attend free talks by authors and work a lot to make myself a better writer. And here I was, feeling like I had lost a handle on something that has always defined me.
So in my natural reactionary fashion, I took down my masterlists, changed my info box and decided, I’m going to take a big tumblr break and figure some things out. I honestly didn’t expect anyone to miss my writing. I didn’t expect anyone to even notice that it was gone.
In the last 24 days, as I’ve lurked through posts and looked through my own writing, I have realized something I think is long-overdue.
I feel I’m kind of old school in a way — in the smut was “lemons” and any characterizations given to a heroine in a story make it an OC, not a reader-insert kind of old school. And while I’ve worked to broaden my writing and reading, I didn’t really push myself to change my mindset. Here I was thinking I had to form myself as a certain type of writer and I was doing a shit job of it because no one was reading my stuff.
But really, at the end of the day, it’s all evolving. And even though it’s a known and proven fact that tumblr’s bull shit keeps writing buried and hard to find … just because my writing doesn’t perform a certain way on this one website, or doesn’t fit the masses wants or needs, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t fit any wants or needs.
So yay, my brain’s fixed, right? No, lol. I mean, it’s going to be a hard pill to swallow. It’s going to continue to be frustrating to post on tumblr and get no reaction. To do everything I can to tag properly and still get no response. And I have to learn to be okay with that.
I have to learn that maybe my time enjoying an audience on tumblr is over. And that’s okay. I often neglect the sheer numbers on my Ao3 account. And I went and looked at them the other day and … they are a lot. And the comments are always fantastic and encouraging and positive.
I think what’s really done it for me, though — along with responses I’ve received recently to taking down my lists and the long rambling discussions with @jesus-buck — is something I read the other day.
Maybe 1,000 people or more aren’t liking or reading or reblogging my writing. Maybe I don’t get a gigantic following for a story. But, when you get 25, 30, 40 people in a room, you realize that’s a lot of people. That’s 40 people you didn’t know, 40 people who didn’t have to show up and mingle with you or get excited at your ideas.
40 may not be 1,000, but … it’s still a big number. Sitting in my office right now, I couldn’t fit 10 people in here, let alone 40. And thinking like that may seem like a cop out or something to ease my brain but … it’s still something I think to be proud of.
So why am I putting together this dissertation?
Mostly for myself, to normalize writing for myself. And also to state “out loud” my new plan. And that’s not to have a plan!
If I wake up and feel like writing on my Paz Vizsla piece, I will do that. If I lean more toward my Din Djarin, or to Poe and Jayah, or a brand new story, I’m just going to do it. I don’t want to feel like I have to write some specific thing and get it all the way done when I might not feel like writing it.
I’m just going to go with the flow. And with any hope, I can get my head on straight, I can get rid of those bitter thoughts, and I can get back to loving my writing.
My masterlists will be back up after this post goes live. And I will start writing again. And I hope this will be a new start, and mostly a helpful start. To get back to loving writing for what I can do, and the joy it brings me.
Can I just let you know that you and one other writer are the only reason I periodically check my Tumblr? I was thrilled to see you had an Ao3 account because that is much easier for me to keep up with since I can subscribe and be notified via email.
I love that you continue to write and post on all platforms. I think you’re an amazing writer and I have been hooked for years. So please don’t stop but if you do just know you have made many a life brighter with your content.
I’ll probably stop checking tumblr at some point but it really, truly comforts me knowing I can still read your work on elsewhere.
I feel like I keep asking y’all questions about Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off, but I’m finally in a good space mentally, emotionally, physically to update on a regular basis so I’m really excited.
I’m working on different one-shots, but are there any particular moments that you guys want to see of Chris and Deja? Doesn’t have to be angst driven though we all know I’m good at that. Lol.
I'd love to see super mundane things like them grocery shopping or cooking together. Or what happens when he shows up to her work events to support. Also have they discussed kids? Maybe a short futurefic of them when a family.
A/N: For the Richonnefics October Word Table. Yes, I’m totally late but better late than never right? I hope you enjoy.
The cobbled street was busy with activity as excited shoppers moved from vendor to vendor, perusing the different and unique wares, crafts, arts, and designs. The newly organized trade market was off to a grand start and one particular shopper could not be prouder. She is the one who pushed her friends towards entrepreneurship, knowing that the items she usually received for free would be a huge draw for a lot of customers. She looks around with a knowing smile, imagining what the success could possibly lead to. Even the nearby bakery, diner, and bookstore were getting more business.
She steps to a vendor she doesn’t recognize with an array of beautiful handmade scarves. She is a sucker for silky, smooth material to wrap herself in. She touches a sheer, teal colored scarf, allowing the material to slide over her open hand. She gasps as a tingling sensation starts from the top of her head and races down her body, leaving her slightly shaken. She blinks several times and places a hand to her stomach to calm herself. She looks to her left and then to her right, wondering what could have caused such a sudden and never before experienced reaction.
A spirited laugh rings out and the sensation returns eliciting another gasp as she swings around, searching for the source of the laughter. Her eyes roam the square and she hones in as the laugh sounds again. This time, lighter but drawing her in all the same. She spots a dark haired gentleman seated at a table on the cemented walk right outside the eatery. He is accompanied by three others and they are all dressed in law enforcement uniforms.
A/N: Hello followers. I’ve been trying to keep myself distracted on this Election Day. It’s been a little difficult since I work for an org that has to keep its eye on it BUT I was able to get this written while trying to keep anxiety at bay.
Notes: This is in the “Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off” universe. It takes place post-divorce papers, but pre-counseling. Deja came back to Boston after being served divorce papers, but lawyers gotta lawyer and courts have to set dates so they’re in liiiimbo.
Warnings: Smut. Unprotected sex. (Don’t be silly, wrap that willy, y’all!)
Pairing: Chris Evans x Deja Evans (Black Original Character)
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They’d both known that the other was going to be there. Both had assured their friends that they were capable of behaving like adults for the sake of celebrating the birthday of a mutual friend.
In theory, it sounded so mature of them to be able to exist in the same space despite their issues.
In practice, it had involved both of them doing their best to avoid one another all night.
They’d been successful at it until it was time to take the group photo and Chris, somehow, had ended up directly behind Deja. Despite attempting to create space, the person taking the photo urged everyone to get close to be able to fit.
Chris hadn’t touched his wife in almost five months and now that her back was resting against him, he was all too aware of what he’d been missing.
Chris Pratt joins a homophobic church and becomes a Trump supporter, and Marvel actors come out in support of him saying he’s being bullied. RDJ just did a huge Fucking Instagram post on it.
Brie Larson steps up and speaks out against inequality and harassment against women in Hollywood and the world, gets fucking attacked all over by people, and it’s fucking crickets.
People be showing their faces in 2020 you guys.
Chris Pratt gets Fucking “voted” out in some stupid social media thing about all the Hollywood Chris-es? BOO GODDAMN HOO
A/N: Hi! Thank you so much to everyone who waited on this and are continuing to read. It means a lot. Noooow, on to the content you’re actually here for. :)
Pairing: Chris Evans x Deja Evans (Black Original Character)
Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Part VII Part VIII
Deja turned her camera around so Raven could see her figure in the full-length mirror mounted on the inside door of her closet before asked, “Okay. How do I look?”
Raven gave her a saccharine smile as she answered, “Like you’re going to act right and actually have a good night with your husband?” Deja rolled her eyes as her friend continued, “And it’s not going to end with you calling us because you decided to pick a fight with him instead of talking to him? Yeah, I think that’s how you look.”
“Really, Raven?” Deja huffed.
“If you wanted someone to gas you up, you should have made sure Jaz was free before you made dinner plans with Chris.” She crossed her arms and leaned back on her couch, “But you didn’t, so this is what you get. You always look gorgeous. You don’t always act right.” She pointed her finger at her phone screen, “I’m trying to set you up for success.”
CHARACTERS: Chris Evans x first-person OFC (Jade)
RATING: PG-13
GENRE: FLUFF. There’s no real plot, but there’s definitely domestic, family goodness.
WARNINGS: Not a damn one. Unless family settings are something you wanna skip.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: Sitting on a beach in Florida a couple weeks ago, I kept noticing this family where the dad and little girl were just so damn cute I couldn’t stand it. Then this happened. Hope you enjoy!
☀️Beachin’☀️
I couldn’t believe I was at this place. Really, the location itself was beautiful — with its white sand, turquoise water, and privacy. But that wasn’t the unbelievable part of this trip.
“Mommy! Mommy, my hair!”
The little voice of Ella Katherine Evans, all of 4 years old, ringing through the beach home as she raced into the master bathroom … that was what had me pause for a moment and wonder at my life.
Early thirsty Thursday b/c I’ll forget: can we see what it was like when Jade finally says I love you to Chris. I could be crazy but I feel like we haven’t seen that yet.
Awww, well I’ll go ahead an answer it because I’m so happy to receive this! And it’s a really nice question, anon! Thank you for this! Because NO, we haven’t seen Jade say those three words to Chris yet ...
The first time she almost says it is after an awards show in LA. Chris unfortunately wasn’t nominated (and Jade bristled about that for the entire time they were getting ready in the hotel), but he was presenting. It wasn’t her first awards show, but only her second. So being angry about him not being nominated helped steady her nerves.
It was a great night, so much fun with all the people he knew. And Jade couldn’t help but just beam with pride for Chris. He was so good with people and even though he too was anxious at times, he was a professional. Instead of going back to his place, they kept the hotel room where they had gotten ready and spent the early morning after the parties wrapped up in each other. (because you know, hotel sex 😉)
Jade was sure it was close to 3 or 4 in the morning — they had spent a lot of time out partying. Chris was sleeping, ridiculous long lashes resting closed as he breathed deeply. She was tracing patterns through the faint freckles on his shoulder and arms when her mouth opened and those words almost came out.
She swallowed them down and wondered if she had done the wrong thing.
The second time they come to her lips, you’ll see in the upcoming third part. It’s at a wedding reception. No, it’s not their wedding lol And Jade does whisper the words ... but the question is does Chris hear them? 😏
The third time, Jade does say she loves him. Out loud. For him to hear. It’s when she’s packing up to move to Boston. And she’s losing her mind. Every bit and piece of it is either leaking out of her brain or flying off and dissolving. She wanted to be so organized with all her stuff, but now she finds she’s haphazardly packing, wondering if she’s keeping too much, if she’s giving away too much.
Chris flies in to help her load up a truck so they can drive it to Boston. This again makes Jade feel like she’s behind or not doing something right or if Chris is going to just throw up his hands and walk away.
In the middle of a panic, standing in the UHaul they’ve rent, Jade puts her hands to her face and almost starts crying. Chris sees it, sits down the box he’s carrying, and jumps up into the truck. He pulls down her hands and hugs her, doesn’t say anything. And they stand there like that, no words, just hugging, in the back of a UHaul, Chris’s hand moving up and down her back soothingly.
Then, out of no where, he just starts talking, “Dodger is excited you know? I get up every morning and mark off a day on the calendar and tell ‘im, ‘Jade’s gonna be here in whatever amount of days, buddy!’ And we get excited and go for a run, talking about what we’re gonna do when you are finally with us all the time. We fixed up the bedroom so it’s not so one sided. And we made room for you in the closet. And the bathroom. Dodger insisted I buy you a separate dresser, so you could still have some space that’s just for you. Oh and he picked out a dog bed that’s just for your home office. It’s right across the hall from mine, which I barely use. But maybe knowing you’re over there, I’ll be in it more so I can stare at you hopelessly and wish you would pass notes to me like we were in high school of something.”
It makes her smile and her body relax into him — she listens to him list out how he can take her to the grocery store and help her get familiarized with the area, pick out her snack foods and what she wants for dinner when she’s ready to cook for the first night. And he insists she’s going to be driving for her first week with him riding shotgun so he can help guide her around the area. He just goes on, softly talking about these seemingly mundane things that don’t feel mundane to Jade at all.
Finally, she pulls back and cups his face in her hands, rising up on tip-toes to kiss him softly, slowly, quietly. When she pulls back, she looks him straight in the eye, smiling, “I love you.”
And ... well, this was already the best fucking day ever for Chris, because he was bringing his girl to Boston. But now she’s up and had to put the cherry on top by saying out loud what he’s figured for a while, but now he knows for sure.
And it’s really hard to not take her back into her apartment and make love to her, but he survives ... until the hotel later that night, where he peppers her with kisses and has her repeat it over and over, until she’s sighing and moaning it and well ... he thinks it was perfectly worth it to wait to hear her say it. 💙💙💙
Note: Here you can find all my fanfiction recommendations for Chris Evans.
*Please be advised that majority of these works contain adult themes and are therefore rated 18+. If you are below the age of 18, please DO NOT read the fics on this list. You have been warned.
If you dont mind, I would love a little head canon of Chris picking Jade up from her office in Boston. Maybe for a little date night. I'm curious to see how people at work respond. In my head she wished he would wait for her outside but he wants to see her office.
skdjfl;axkdjfasd I have such a THING for scenarios like this anon! Oh gosh, thank you for sending this!
Okay, so it’s like ... a Thursday. And it’s been a long Thursday for Jade. She can’t wait for the weekend for a little rest at home with Chris now that he’s off set for a little bit.
They plan a date — he’s excited to take her out to treat her a little bit. And instead of having her take the T home (because that would take forever in his mind), Chris calls her around 4 and says he’ll come into the city and pick her up.
Jade’s a little swamped at the time so it doesn’t occur to her what he’s offering, and she readily agrees.
It’s not until a bit after 5 p.m., when the office starts packing up, that the front desk secretary quickly shuffles into Jade’s office.
“Jade, um, I don’t know how to say this but ... I think Chris Evans is waiting for you in the lobby!”
Jade sits up so quick, her desk chair starts to tip over. She’s trying to brush it off to the secretary while also trying to tell the woman to let the man know she’ll be right out — the last thing she wants is him walking through the office and getting all the office gossip hens clucking.
But as Jade is shutting down her programs and saving word documents, grabbing her stuff, checking her hair, Chris of course charms his way through the office. He doesn’t play into the stares or whispers or anything, just calmly heads in the direction the secretary points to Jade.
When he gets to her office, she is bustling about, trying to hurry and he does that lean against the doorway thing that’s like ... unf. He just watches her with a smile. The moment she catches sight of him, her eyes go wide. She starts to babble, asking him why he would risk coming up to the office and being seen. She continues, so nervous, about having him there, so afraid some alarm will go off that Chris Evans is there and he will be mobbed.
And Chris smiles like he’s seeing her for the first time in years, easing her fears. He softens her more by telling her she’s beautiful and he’s missed her; gives her a good long kiss to soothe ruffled feathers. He then asks her for a little tour and she hooks her arm through his, still a little nervous, and shows him around. Most of her co-workers try to sneak looks — most just wave on the way to the elevator.
Annnnnd nothing happens. Much to the chagrin of Jade’s anxiety demons. lol
Chris is happy to see where Jade is working and get this glimpse into her world now. By the time they are headed to the restaurant, Jade feels a sense of pride and happiness that she got to show off her work to Chris now.
If you're open to it, as a head cannon, I'd love to see what car sex is like with Chris and Jade lol.
Hi anon! This is a good one that I’ve needed to ponder on 🧐 This is also going under a cut cause it’s dirty 😏
Okay, car sex. Chris and Jade. lol
Jade has a thing for cars — she’s not like a gearhead, but she really appreciates a good car.
And the one car Chris has that Jade appreciates and has a kink for? The Camaro. You know, the one that is Cap themed and gifted to Chris by RDJ?
Yeah... that one. Just look at those seats 😏
So Jade has a plan and she thinks that she’s stealthy about it. The car is kept in Chris’s garage out in Cali. During a trip out there one fall, Jade subtly states she wants to go on a date, like their first date, but take the Camaro. Chris at first isn’t sure why she is being so specific. he still agrees though.
She wears this really killer dress. It’s all boho vibe and short — honestly a little shorter than Jade is comfortable with. But like I said, she’s got a plan.
Chris’s eyes nearly bug out of his head when he sees her. When they are driving up Highway 1, he can hardly keep his eyes off her. Especially with the amount of thigh and cleavage that’s teasing him from her seat.
Dinner is good. Jade tells herself she gets some good teasing, flirting in — makes sure to rub his thigh underneath the table, and bat her eyelashes a lot at him.
Chris at this point completely figures out what’s going on in her head. He adores her, she’s so cute — he plays along.
After the food is cleared away, he asks if she wants to take a drive further up the highway, take in the last bits of California sun. Thinking he’s playing right into her hand, Jade readily agrees.
Driving along the highway, Jade pulls his hand over to bared thigh. He is BEYOND thankful for sunglasses, because damn she’s hot and the situation is hot and his jeans are starting to feel tighter. But he’s able to keep a stone face behind the sunglasses.
Pretty soon, she coaxes his hand between her thighs, pulling her dress up so he can see the lacy panties she has on. Chris has never concentrated so hard in his fucking life, trying to drive straight as his fingers slide along her wet pussy. She’s moaning and gripping his wrist as he works her. And he’s forgotten that he’s playing along with her plans because as stated before, this is fucking hot. He keeps taking glances over at her, watching her eyes stay trained down between her thighs where his fingers work her entrance and clit.
When she comes, he can’t find a spot to pull off fast enough.
Jade feels like she’s won the damn lottery — not that she thinks she ever has to seduce Chris. Sometimes she feels like she barely has to try because he’s always touching her and kissing her and loving her. And that’s great — she fucking loves that about him.
But every once in a while, a girl wants to really get her man riled up.
So she’s flying high. She has a hand on his cock, rubbing it through his jeans and making him curse under his breath as he’s trying not to kill them.
Finally, finally, there’s a secluded pull off spot. There’s thankfully NO cars around.
Chris barely gets the damn car in park and shuts off the headlights before he’s lunging at her in the passenger seat.
Car sex can be awkward. Jade is worried about how things will work — she’s not a tiny girl and Chris is built like a fucking brick house.
But god bless Chevrolet for making the 69 Camaro with large back seats. They fumble into the back — don’t ask how, they really don’t know either — and before Jade knows it, she’s straddling Chris, her dress pulled up as he lowers the cups of her bra and is immediately latched onto her breast.
It’s frantic. There’s a little fear of getting caught, not just by a patrol officer, but by ANYONE. But Chris still takes as much time with her as he can. He’s demanding and Jade loves it — he’s growling under his breath and tugging at her breasts a little roughly, teeth nipping her skin in other places, fingers frantic against her center again.
She cums one more time on his fingers before she’s clawing to undress him too.
Jade still isn’t super confident about being on top, but tonight? Yeah she feels like she can do anything. So she kisses him hard as she slips him inside her. They are fogging up the car with their heavy breaths and moans. She almost hits her head on the roof once when Chris thrusts up a bit too hard, and they are laughing breathlessly before she rolls her hips again and they are right back at it.
Chris and Jade make love a lot, but this isn’t that — this is fucking each other. And it lights Jade on fire.
It’s one of those rare occasions when they come nearly at the same time, arms wrapped around each other and chests plastered together as they are moaning and crying out.
They. Are. A. HOT. Mess. lol Like, her dress is a wreck and his pants are a wreck and they are both sweaty and ugly. But they are smiling and feeling really, really good.
They clean up as best they can before heading home — where they hop in the shower together for more cleaning 😏 and before falling asleep, Chris emphasizes how much they need to have car sex more often.
A four-part exploration of Michonne's journey from losing Rick to finding him again. In the first chapter, Michonne grapples with the death of the love of her life and the birth of another.
I can’t figure out how to send you an ask. I’m getting to old, clearly.
Man do I have thoughts...
- Chris and Jade going to an event together for the first time. Does she walk the carpet with him or does she choose to just meet him at their seats?
- What does a regular, super boring couple experience look like for them? Do they grocery shop together. I have very adorable vision of them doinf domestic things together.
- Do they get sick of each other during quarantine or do they realize “damn, this might really be my person since I’ve been stuck in the house for months and I’m not tired of him/her yet”?
