BUT I DO KNOW WHEN IāM BEING PROVOCATIVE, AND I RELISH IT. I FEEL THAT I NEED TO BE SHOCKING, AND I NEED TO BE TRANSGRESSIVE, AND I NEED TO PROMOTE PERVERSITY.Ā
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@rickowenssaid
BUT I DO KNOW WHEN IāM BEING PROVOCATIVE, AND I RELISH IT. I FEEL THAT I NEED TO BE SHOCKING, AND I NEED TO BE TRANSGRESSIVE, AND I NEED TO PROMOTE PERVERSITY.Ā
HOLLYWOOD IS REALLY THAT MIX OF āWALK ON THE WILD SIDEā BY LOU REED AND GLAMOR AND SLEAZE. HOLLYWOOD WAS WHERE I BECAME ME. I JUST JUMPED INTO A LIFE OF DECADENT HEDONISTIC SLEAZE, BECAUSE MY YOUTH HAD BEEN SO PROTECTED. AND I WANTED TO LIVE!
LIVING AND WORKING BEING CONNECTED IS KIND OF MY THING. I DON'T MEAN TO DISMISS OUTSIDE INFLUENCES, AS I'M SURE THEY'RE IMPOSSIBLE NOT TO ABSORB, BUT I FIND A SLIGHTLY UNHEALTHY, INTROSPECTIVE INSULATION SEEMS TO WORK BEST FOR ME.
I LIVE IN MY OWN LITTLE CONCRETE BUBBLE
IF YOU CREATE THE COMPOSITION IN AN ATTRACTIVE BALANCED WAY, THE SAME WAY YOU PREPARE A MEAL, LIKE IF YOU KNOW HOW MUCH OREGANO IS GOING TO BALANCE EVERYTHING ELSE OUT, IT WORKS AND PEOPLE WILL RESPOND TO IT, PEOPLE FEEL IT AND ITāS KIND OF THE SAME THING WITH CLOTHES AND REFERENCES. IF YOU KIND OF CREATE THE RIGHT MIXTURE OF REFERENCES ITāS GOING TO BE GRACEFUL, LOGICAL AND POETIC, AND IT WILL REGISTER
I REMEMBER JUST THE WHOLE OF ALLURE AND MYSTIC OF LEATHER BARS, THERE WAS ONE IN LOS ANGELES CALLED THE SPIKE, WHERE WE ALWAYS WENT TO AND YOU KNOW, ITāS THREE IN THE MORNING AND THERE IS THIS LOUD MUSIC PLAYING AND THERE ARE ALL THIS MEN IN LEATHER UNIFORMS STANDING AROUND, STARRING STRAIGHT AHEAD AND NOT CONNECTING AT ALL, HOLDING BEERS IN THEIR HANDS AND ITāS EERIE, IT WAS COMPLETELY EERIE, THERE WAS THIS SUSPENDED MOMENT AND ALL OF THESE MEN WERE DOING THEIR BEST TO LOOK OMINOUS, BUT THEY ALL WANTED TO BE SWEPT OF THEIR FEET BY SOMEBODY.
IāVE LEARNED TO FORGIVE MYSELF FOR BEING A CUNT, AND THATāS A PART IN ALL OF US, WE ALL STRUGGLE TO KEEP THAT BALANCE I THINK, AND TRY AND NOT BEAT OURSELVES UP TOO MUCH, AND TRY AND DO BETTER AND IMPROVE AND ITāS A LITTLE āTITTER TOTTERā EVERY SINGLE DAY, TODAY IāM GOING TO BE BETTER, OH SHIT, I FUCKED UP, IāM NOT, ā¦BUT OK, ITāLL WORK OUT BETTER TOMORROW, AND THATāS THE BEAUTIFUL MONSTER IN ALL OF US.
I GET UP. I SHOWER. THERE IS A BIG TV IN FRONT OF THE BED AND I USUALLY PUT ON A BLACK AND WHITE MOVIE OR AN OLD EPISODE OF POIROT WITH THE SOUND OFF AND I PLAY SOME MARLENE DIETRICH OR OLD LIZA MINNELLI, OR SOME KIND OF JAZZ STUFF OR JULIE LONDON OR ROSEMARY CLOONEY. SOMETIMES IT'S ALL DISCO OR SOMETIMES IT'S ALL HEAVY TECHNO. THEN I JUST HAVE COFFEE AND GO TO THE FACTORY AND I COME BACK AROUND 2PM, AFTER LUNCH, AND I TAKE A NAP ON THE BIG TRAVERTINE BED AND THEN I GET UP AND GO BACK TO THE OFFICE. I WORK UNTIL AROUND 8.30, THEN I COME BACK, I DO HALF AN HOUR OR AN HOUR OF GYM, THEN DINNER IS DELIVERED, AND I EAT IN FRONT OF THE TV AND THEN I GO TO BED. IT'S ALL VERY CIVILISED, AUSTERE AND MONASTIC.
MOST OF THE THINGS THAT I GET ARE THINGS I HAVE WANTED FOR A LONG, LONG TIME. I AM NOT AN IMPULSIVE BUYER AND I DON'T LIKE CLUTTER. I DON'T LIKE FILLING MY WORLD WITH IMPULSIVE THINGS. IT HAS TO BE A SERIOUS COMMITMENT.
THERE IS ENOUGH FURNITURE IN THE WORLD THAT I DO NOT DESIGN FURNITURE TO BE COMFORTABLE. I REJECT THIS VISION OF THE WORLD TOTALLY ORIENTED TO PERSONAL COMFORT⦠THROUGH FURNITURE DESIGN, I SUGGEST SOMETHING MORE DISCIPLINED, MORE FORMAL.
AS FOR MYSELF, I HAVE NEVER CHANGED MY CLOTHES. I HAVE ALWAYS WORN A UNIFORM BECAUSE WHAT I DID WAS CHANGE MY OWN BODY INSTEAD; THAT IS MUCH MORE HARDCORE THAN CHANGING AN OUTFIT.
I WANT TO EXTEND BEYOND THE BOUNDARIES OF WHAT YOUāRE SUPPOSED TO BE WEARING; A LOT OF TIME, MY CLOTHES HAVE THINGS THAT ARE EXTENDED OR THINGS THAT ARE DRAGGING. I THINK THERE IS A SUBTLE MESSAGE IN THIS PRACTICE: WHY KEEP YOURSELF WITHIN THE SAME LIMITS OF THE CLOTHES THAT EVERYONE ELSE DOES? YOU CAN GO FURTHER.
I THINK THAT PLEASURE OF ANONYMOUSLY ATTACKING OTHERS CREATES FEAR, WHICH LEADS TO THE CURRENT CONSERVATISM.Ā
I MUST ADMIT THAT RAGE HAS BEEN A SOURCE OF IMMENSE MOTIVATION IN MY LIFE. RAGE HAS SERVED ME WELL.
I JUST THINK ABOUT HOW TO LIVE WITH ALL THIS NEGATIVITY. THE ONLY ANSWER I SEE IS THAT IN COPING WITH DISCOMFORT OR SUFFERING, WE NOW HAVE AN UNPRECEDENTED AMOUNT OF LUXURY: A LEVEL OF KNOWLEDGE WE DID NOT HAVE BEFORE. AND KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. THE WORLD HAS NEVER KNOWN SUCH LUXURY.
EXERCISE IS MY MEDITATION. I ALSO TAKE A NAP EVERY DAY. IT CAME NATURALLY TO ME. ITāS NOT LIKE I JUST DECIDED THAT I HAD TO DO THIS RITUAL AS SOME SORT OF MEDITATION. IT ALLOWS ME TO HAVE A MOMENT TO MYSELF. AND WHEN I WAKE UP, I OFTEN HAVE A NEW OUTLOOK ON MY PROBLEMS AND SOMETIMES EVEN A GOOD IDEA. ITāS A FORM OF DISCIPLINE THAT LETS ME MAKE THE MOST OF MY OWN RESOURCES AND CONSERVE MY ENERGY. SO ITāS A KIND OF MEDITATION RITUAL, EVEN THOUGH ITāS PRETTY SPONTANEOUS, EVEN PRIMITIVE.
WE ARE ALL CONSTANTLY DEVALUATING WHO WE ARE, WHO WEāRE TRYING TO BE, AND WHO WEāVE BEEN IN THE PAST. WE EXPERIENCE SHAME, PRIDE, WEāRE SOMETIMES TOTALLY BLIND TO OUR OWN ISSUES. I THINK WE ALL FIND IT HARD TO ACCEPT AND LOVE OURSELVES BECAUSE WE SEE OUR OWN FAULTS SO CLEARLY. WELL, THIS IS ALL AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL. IāM JUST ASSUMING OTHER PEOPLEāS EMOTIONS ARE SIMILAR TO MINE.