marie

sideblog for my hobbies the world has ended, several times.

[riemly]

who?

╰ i’m marie and this is a side blog. this blog is some random crap of things I am or was or will be interested in. 

╰ i’ll try my best to keep my main away from this blog…

navigate?

╰ using my tag system. you (and I) can check them here, and the most important ones are below.

important/personal tags

ㅤ 01. mine — my posts.

ㅤ 02. fav — favourites.

ㅤ 03. Genshin Stuffs.

ㅤ 04. ... — text posts, rants, chats.

ㅤ 05. !!! — important posts.

ㅤ

[komoreiii]

children....

[yonae]

[dianderella]

soft memores 🍃 “from here on”, an akatsuki no yona fanzine @akayona-zine

[w4yf1nder]

ayato, the one friend you've made so far into your college career that is willing to tag along with you when you go to a new café or restaurant in town.

"it would be such a shame to move to a new town and not try out all of the cute cafés!" is what you told all of your friends (but no one really seemed to share your sentiments as much as ayato did, possibly because you go café-hopping every other day like you're on a mission).

"well, this seems like a pretty nice one. it's got that special ambiance." ayato only uses that word to tease you (you have mentioned on many occasions that a restaurant's ambiance is important to you), not missing the way your expression tinges with slight embarrassment (oh how he adores that look).

"shut up." you mumble and ayato just chuckles as he peruses through the menu.

"my, is this the treatment i get for joining you on your quest to finding the best café in town? i even support this endeavor of yours financially!" it's true, he does. you don't think you've ever had to pay for anything as long as he's around.

"well, you don't have to..." you mutter, feeling slightly guilty about it. it's not like you asked for him to do that! but still, you really don't want him to think you bring him with you because you're broke.

ayato senses this, his expression softening slightly.

"well, we all know the real reason why you ask me to accompany you these days." ayato says with a smirk, that look makes you very uneasy. what kind of out-of-pocket shit is this man going to say next?

it dawns upon you suddenly, a conversation you had with thoma last week.

when you told thoma to not come along for your next café hopping session because you wanted to spend more time with ayato alone.

because you like him.

but-but thoma would never! he would never, ever betray you this way! that man swore upon his hidden shoujo manga collection that he would never, ever tell anybody but especially ayato about this!

"let's hear it then." you finally say, hoping you don't sound as shaky as you feel right now.

"it's because you can never finish the food."

you left out a loud sigh of relief, perhaps thoma hadn't betrayed you after all.

you're gonna treat him to some dango later, you feel horrible for ever doubting that boy.

"right, yes. you're absolutely correct." you respond finally, sounding far more relieved than you had anticipated.

ayato on the other hand, looks a little discontent at this turn of events. surely, that conversation he overheard between you and thoma hadn't been a figment of his own imagination?

oh well, he decides to just watch you basically inhale the strawberry shortcake you just ordered, a small smile gracing his lips.

perhaps he can get you to confess next time, for now, this is enough.

[heartsick-necronym]

[punk-63]

[mokacheer]

༶•┈┈⛧┈ ♚ Tamaki and his signature Roses  🌹

[ouranhighschool]

Senpai, I think you’re fine just the way you are.

[gittana]

kiss kiss fall in… love 😳

[perpetualcynicism]

so…

we arrive at part five of my detective rivals-to-lovers series. i’m pretty sure this will be the last ‘proper’ part of the series, but i might still posts brainrots and headcanons about it from time to time.

without further ado, enjoy!

(parts one, two, three and four)

after that instance, you don’t know what to think anymore.

you don’t like him. you don’t like him. 

you don’t like him.

right?

and when he says he likes you, that’s not true either, right? he’s joking. because that’s the kind of person he is; he jokes a lot. neither of you like the other. you’re just two people who are working on a case together. that’s all there is, and all there ever will be.

…so why do you feel like you want something more?

(continued utc)

why do you feel like you almost wish he wasn’t joking whenever he asks you out, or dramatically declares his feelings for you for the seventeenth time— wait, have you been keeping count?

you shake away these thoughts. even if you did like him— which you don’t— a relationship would take up too much time and effort; you’re effectively wrapping up the case now, so there wouldn’t be any good reasons to see him again afterwards. and besides, he doesn’t return your feelings, anyway—

your not-feelings, that is. the nonexistent ones that you definitely do not have.

additionally, the subconscious stares you’ve been throwing at heizou have not gone undetected. a spark of hope arises in his chest whenever he catches your narrowed, calculating eyes scanning him with a concentrated thoroughness. sure, it’s not exactly the most romantic of stares, because rather than wistfully gazing, it seems, to him, that your eyes are boring into his soul with astute coldness and leaving none of his secrets uncovered— he digresses. but the point is that you’re staring, and that can only mean one thing.

now, while you’re mulling over all this, the case is drawing to a close. you’ve managed to identify the leader of the criminal group, as well as the other members, and are just getting together a few more pieces of evidence to support your claim.

you make the choice to stop concerning yourself with the lack-of-feelings you have; they’re not worth your time, which would be better spent brushing up on some final details on the case.

these last days seem to fly by in a blur; before you know it, the culprit— a shrine maiden, it turns out— is being arrested. you watch from the sidelines, gaze cold, as she’s escorted by two armed guards to kujou sara, who gives both you and heizou a curt thank you. 

all the while, the shrine maiden is muttering curses under her breath. you catch your friend’s name leave her lips, followed by the spat words ‘good-for-nothing’ and ‘pathetic’. 

you clench your fists, forcefully suppressing the anger rising within you. you take a deep breath, and your composure is steady once more.

heizou notices your reaction, and his brows furrow in thought.

kujou sara prepares to leave, all necessary documents and paperworks having been handed over, guards and shrine maiden in tow. before she’s so much as turned around, however, heizou calls out for her to wait, claiming that he has something he want to do first. he asks permission to approach the criminal, and, warily, kujou sara grants it.

he steps forwards. you have not a single clue what he’s planning to do, but watch with curiosity.

heizou glances at you and shoots you a brief smile, before turning around and sending a fist flying into the shrine maiden’s face.

she stumbles backwards with a gasp of pain. heizou shakes his wrist, and regards his (quite literal) handiwork with a satisfied nod, before stepping back to take his previous place beside you.

kujou sara frowns, arms folded across her chest, and asks whether that was really necessary. heizou nods sincerely, and explains that it was for a friend. something within you seems to warm at this.

kujou sara sighs and shakes her head, before she leaves, signifying the true end of the case.

following the arrest, you return to your shared office and begin packing up your things. you take any remaining pins and papers off the walls, and as you do so, feel a dull ache in your chest; perhaps you’ll miss the silly doodles and illegible notes you and heizou scrawled on that wall.

maybe this is what sentimentality feels like.

the realisation dawns on you that you very likely won’t work with heizou again. at the beginning of this case, you would’ve found it a relief; now, you’re not so sure how you feel.

…disappointed, perhaps?

——————

“well, then,” you say, a lack of certainty in your voice, as if you’re bewildered that this case has finally come to an end, and are confused as to what you’ll do next. you and heizou stand opposite each other in a now-bare office, and you shift awkwardly, sucking in a breath. “i’ll see you around, i guess.”

“yeah. sure,” he says.

you both stand there for a moment, unsure what to say. you clear your throat.

“uh, i’ll probably be going now, then.”

with that, you turn to leave, but heizou blurts, “hang on a second.”

you turn back around with a sigh of exasperation. “what is it now?”

“before you go…” he says, a twinkle of mischief sparkling in his eyes, “i want to tell you something.” 

you quirk an unimpressed eyebrow at him. “go on, then.”

he chews on his lip for a moment, tapping theatrically on his chin, deliberately stalling, before deciding, “actually, no. i won’t tell you.”

you blink, unamused. “seriously?”

a smirk makes its way onto his face. “i’ll show you instead.”

you furrow your eyebrows at him, puzzled. he takes a step towards you, and then another. when your faces are almost touching, you notice that heizou glances down at your lips. he swallows, heart fluttering with  nerves. closing his eyes, he leans in…

“mmph!”

you thrust out your hand, covering his mouth with your palm. his mmph of surprise wilts into one of confused disappointment. you push his face away, turning your own in the opposite direction. the downwards tilt on your lips appears… upset, almost. 

once his face is a comfortable distance away from your own, you peel your hand off heizou’s mouth, shooting him a guarded glare.

“what was that for?” he whines.

you narrow your eyes at him, and then look away with a sigh. you say in a small voice, “look… stop it, ok?” your voice rings with a barely concealed plea. you look back at him once again. “just stop it.”

heizou’s heart sinks. he frowns, his prior confidence nowhere to be found. “stop what?” he asks. his voice is confused and, if you listen closely, a little hurt.

“stop… doing that.” you gesture vaguely towards him. 

“doing what?” he asks, genuinely puzzled.

“you know what.” you mumble.

“no, i don’t.”

you pause, deciding how to phrase your next words.

“stop acting like you have… feelings for me,” you mutter. then you sigh, and continue. “look, i know you’re a big tease and all, and you like playing jokes on people, especially this sort of mind-gamey stuff, but… it’s not funny, alright?”

heizou finds himself speechless in response, unable to formulate a single word. it feels as though a sharp blade has been shoved through his heart. 

“why do you think i’m joking?” he manages, after a silence so long it’s painful.

“because that’s what you do!” you snap, finally meeting his eyes. your eyes, always so calm and steady, contain an unconstrained anger somewhere within them. heizou almost takes a step back at the tone of your voice.

you realise the slip you made on your emotions, and, with effort, level them out. in a flat voice, you continue, “you’re always saying all these things you don’t mean, and sometimes it’s funny, sure. but not like this.”

“how…” heizou swallows, cutting himself off before his voice can break. he’s getting frustrated now. “how do i convince you i’m being genuine?” his voice begins to rise. he laughs, but the sound is humourless. “for the archons’ sakes, what will it take for you to believe me?”

before you can utter a word in reply, he suddenly grabs your hand and presses it to his chest, forcing you to feel his heartbeat. 

it’s racing. 

each thump hammers against his ribs, strong and grounding. his eyes bore into yours with an intensity you’ve never seen before, his face serious and yet blazing with passion. as he speaks, you feel his heart rate accelerate further.

“i like you, ok? no, i love you. love like i’ve never loved someone before. i can’t even think straight when i’m around you. and every single time i’ve ever said i loved you, or had feelings for you, or asked you out, it was genuine. i was never joking. not once. i don’t know how i can be any clearer, and i don’t know what you need me to do for you to believe that. but whatever you need me to do, i’ll do it. alright? i’ll do whatever it takes to get you to accept it, and i can wait until you do. but please, tell me what you want from me. tell me what’ll finally convince you that my feelings are real.”

when he’s finished, his heart is pounding so fast that you think it may very well burst out of his chest.

you slowly pull your hand away, almost in a daze, and take a step back, shaking your head slowly.

“so it was… real? all of it?” you mumble to yourself, voice barely audible in your disbelief.

“every single time.” he says.

“but that means…” your hand flies up to your mouth. “that means every time you said things like that, and i just brushed it off…”

he nods. “yeah.”

“oh, archons,” you grimace. “that probably didn’t come across very well, did it?”

“not really, no,” he agrees with a shrug. you can tell he’s trying to be nonchalant, but you can clearly see the excitement behind his eyes; does this reaction mean you finally believe him?

“but you really do mean it?” you ask, as if to make sure you haven’t misheard. 

“yes, i mean it!” he laughs, voice brimming with both joy and impatience. then he hesitates, and a knowing smirk creeps onto his face. “and i’ll take this as a sign that you return my feelings?”

your eyes widen, and you look away. you glance at him, and away again. then, begrudgingly, as if it’s very difficult to say, you admit through clenched teeth, “maybe a little bit, yes.”

“i knew it!” he declares victoriously, almost punching the air in his triumph. this was truly the hardest part of the case, he thinks. not the murders, nor the identity of the culprit, but trying to figure out whether you return his feelings. and he was right about it— as he always is, of course.

you roll your eyes and scoff at his childlike excitement. once he calms down, a short silence spans between the two of you. you clear your throat.

“so, uh, can i go now?” you ask, unsure, gesturing towards the doorway.

“one last thing,” heizou says. 

before you can react, he takes a step forwards, cups your cheek, and places his lips over yours.

the kiss is short, a momentary bliss, before he pulls away, but it nevertheless leaves you stupefied. to be completely honest, you feel like you’re about to swoon. 

perhaps you do, because heizou reaches out to grab your shoulder, supporting your tilting body. he chuckles, thinking, turns out i really do have that much of an influence over you. heh… knew it.

your faces are still close together, and you can feel his eyelashes tickling your skin. you wonder if he’s going to kiss you again.

he leans in again— but just before your lips make contact, he pulls away, and lands a playful tap on your nose. now he’s teasing you. 

still cradling your face, lips a mere inch apart, heizou says, a wide grin on his face, “i will most definitely see you around.”

[8kh]

DEVOTED, kamisato ayato.

note: this chapter discusses committing— look out for the red font if you wish to skip this part. thank you so much for the feedback the last chapter! 4496 wc.

+ fem!reader (she/her). arranged marriage. romance. angst. mainly set in feudal japan with inspirations from sengoku daimyo and edo period. mature content. canon divergent in terms of the whole concept of visions, archons, non-human creatures (in game bosses, tanuki, kitsunes, hilichurls, mystical elements of the game).

honorifics & terms guide + naginata “polearm used by female samurai” | shogun “supreme commander of a dispatched army, second after the emperor when it comes to authority” | jinbaori “a surcoat worn by high-ranking samurai” | sabo “as in grandmother” | kura “storehouses or warehouses”

+ playlist. | masterlist. | misc. info | honorifcs & terms guide.

CHAPTER TWO. 

“Whether you come as a lover or an executioner, I am ready to receive you.” — The Carnivorous Lamb, Agustín Gómez-Ramos, tr. William Rodarmor

When she was still alive, your grandmother once told you that there would be an overwhelming amount of souls you would cross paths with. These souls, she said as she fondled your cheek, would possess in their person stories of a whole new world. And no matter how fleeting the encounter might be, they would always leave a mark. As you ran with your heart somersaulting inside your chest, that memory made you wonder what mark Kamisato Ayato would leave you with. 

Were the tips of his fingers blooming with flowers? Or was he burning at the edges to singe your bones?

If your thoughts happened to have voices of their own, Kuina would certainly punish you with sour and inimical words for them. You could almost see her with a glower, spitting at the misplaced interest of her eldest sister. From a different perspective, you should be curious about Ayato Kamisato’s appearance, the reason why he sailed here in the first place, and not whether he was fire or flower. 

Since you departed from Ryu’s house, dusk had crawled into the vast heavens, painting the skies with silver. The iron tang of the earth whiffed at your nose, mixed in with the damped smell of trees as you dashed for your estate near Autake Plains. Through the boughs and bushes leading to the pathway of your dwelling, the jagged shape of the garden had slowly become discernible together with the contours of people huddled around the house. 

The soles of your feet begged for you to cease running— a harsh reminder that it was never wise to sprint wearing a geta. Albeit almost tripping on your feet and choking on your breath, you refused to stop running. Somehow, a small part of you yearned to see the young Commissioner in flesh and bone as fast as humanly possible. 

“Halt!” You tugged at whatever you could grab from Kuina’s silk kimono. She turned to you with a lour, blatantly condemning your action. Ignoring her sharp eyes by glancing ahead, a biting chill suddenly nipped at your skin. “How do I look?” 

“Seriously, Hime?” Kuina gasped, aroused with hesitation and disbelief. It was written all over her face how thrilled she was to reach home. 

Could she blame you? The last time someone from Narukami visited, your appearance certainly hadn’t been the one expected of you. It remained dreadful that you couldn’t predict the outcome of this visit, and so you wanted to look presentable and leave a decent impression, at least. 

You pursed your lips together, patiently waiting for your little sister’s answer. 

She lets out a sigh before taking your hand. “You look wonderful,” Kuina whispered, a smile stretching her lips, “and he would be stupid not to see that.” 

As each step delivered you closer to the house, the incessant beat of your heart grew more rapid. Heaving deeply through the nose and out of the mouth was also insufficient to mollify your ragged breathing. All that was left for you to do was fight the magnified urge to clutch at your chest as you reached the fences. 

What seemed like curious villagers from the distance were in sooth samurais of the Yashiro Commission poised around your estate. They boasted the crest of the Kamisato Clan, forbidding with their armor and katana. 

“Oh, at long last!” Your mother keenly stood in the foyer, her voice pitched with excitement that kicked your stomach with another round of animated flutters. 

Your father’s lordly tone, which he would rarely deploy and you seldom heard him use, echoed around the space leading to the tatami. He was talking to someone— to a head of a clan, like himself. And that had been enough to have your sweat racing down your spine in steady trickles. 

There was your father and mother in the tatami, but it was an unfamiliar face you forthwith sought. 

With a turn of your head, your stomach lurched as your eyes met across the room. 

He was all man— taller than your expectation, standing with such deadly grace, smothering your breath with each step the distance between you narrowed. 

Those eyes were like a punch to the gut, as much as you were loath to admit. Almost dreamy, as if the gods took their time painting his irises with soft and elegant strokes of bewitching purple. 

In more ways than you were willing to admit, and in more ways than your sanity would dare comprehend, Kamisato Ayato was beautiful. His was a beauty that felt like a soft caress, the hum of a flute under the blue skies, the tranquility of waters after it poured, and you were spellbound.

You were grasping at sands, clueless about who to blame for the uncharacteristic ardor that had flooded you. 

Was it the Fog? Was it the years of seclusion on a lost island? You weren’t certain, you did not care. 

Deep in your belly, what was left of your confidence growled as if urging you to run away again. To build a refuge for your cowardice, for the thought of marriage with him had leached all of your strength.

“At last, we meet.” His voice was a lazy resonance of elegance as it chased down your spine like liquid. “I am Kamisato Ayato, head of the Kamisato Clan and the current Yashiro Commissioner, delighted to make your acquaintance.” He, therefore, bowed like how every trained noble would. 

There was a mouthful of benevolent greetings stuck in your throat. For all that, it was comical how you stood there unmoving, completely taciturn, and wondering what was it that frayed your confidence away. What was it that rubbed every inch of your mettle raw? 

If it wasn’t for Kuina bumping your elbow with hers, you wouldn’t have clawed your way out of being immobilized. 

At long last, for what seemed like forever, you gathered enough strength for a formal greeting. You inhaled and bowed as gracefully as you could. “It is a pleasure to receive you, Kamisato-dono. Welcome to Tsurumi Island,” you said with a tongue glossed in deference before introducing yourself and the Asakura Clan. 

When you lifted both your chin, his gaze fell on your face. However, those enrapturing purple eyes held not an ounce of predatory edge in them. They appeared undimmed despite the thickening curtain of night.

After a moment’s pause, you were led in the direction of the tatami by your parents, with you sitting on the far left corner of Ayato. 

Tea was served on the table, still brimming hot with smoke curling over the cup. Smoke that reflected the gnawing anxiety curling and twisting in the pit of your belly. 

“I hope the waters had been kind to you and your subordinates, Kamisato-dono,” your mother commented with a soft giggle, always cognizant of how to act and what to say in front of guests. 

“It had been, okugata-sama. Even the Fog appeared clearer as we passed through,” the young lord replied, his lips stretching to that of a gentle smile. 

“That might be a good omen from the gods. They have guided your ship, and blessed you with docile waters to reach our land in peace.”

You would’ve been convinced that years and years of not holding a conversation with a fellow lord would dull your father’s poise, but with what he uttered and how he delivered it, tinged with joy but coated with authority, you were proven otherwise. 

“I do hope it is a good omen, Asakura-sama. Although it wouldn’t have mattered if the sea was violent. Reaching Tsurumi was a worthwhile journey for I have now been bestowed the luxury of meeting your eldest daughter.” Ayato’s gaze once again found you. It was heavier this time around. “Ide and Kuroda were not exaggerating at all. Hime-sama holds a beauty that leaves one’s heart racing.” 

The crack in your chest grew apart as your heart drummed unremittingly. At a loss for better words, you merely inclined your head in his direction while purposely avoiding his eyes and said, “You are too kind, Kamisato-dono.” 

“Ah, I speak only the truth. You are beautiful, Hime.” Sincerity swarmed the young lord’s tone. His eyes, ever so intense in your direction, would burn holes for certain if he wouldn’t cast them away. 

“She is as strong as she is beautiful.” Adoration and pride rippled through your mother’s statement. Nonetheless, its warmth failed to reach your heart. 

“Ever since she was young, she took it upon herself to help the island. She knows how it is around here and never once asked for grandiosity or any luxurious thing,” your father added. “Disciplined to a fault, as she followed the principles of the onna-bugeisha. Swift and skilled with the naginata, she has protected us from ronins and samurai alike.” 

The flowery words of a loved one were only a façade to convince the young lord of your worth. 

A whirlpool of emotions had dominated you. Pulse in your ears, heart in your throat, you forced a smile. 

It has begun. 

In the young lord’s presence, praises that you would die to hear on a normal day had swiftly rolled out their mouths like melted sweets.

Your skin tingled for all the wrong reasons, feeling as though you were nothing but a prized mare displayed in the market. 

Despite it all, you held not an iota of hatred for them even if they failed to soften the blow of reality. Even if they failed to salve the burn of knowing that your fate had been sealed the moment they perceived what was it between your legs.

“Naginata…” Ayato hummed as if recollecting a memory from the back of his mind. “It is a kind of polearm, albeit lighter, is it not?” 

Under your family’s ardent gaze, your nerves seemed to have reached their highest peak. Alas, it was a conversation you best knew and you would’ve willingly prattled had your mind halted playing its trick on you. 

Should you speak of your life as a samurai? Wouldn’t that taint your reputation to herd Ayato away? Who would want a wife with calloused hands soiled with blood? 

Having reduced yourself speechless, ire pulled at your stomach and washed your whole body with heat. 

It shouldn’t be this way. There was no shame in protecting the island. Without a doubt, if there was someone who understood your chosen path, it would be Kamisato Ayato. It had been written in the stones that being the young head of a virtuous clan was work and responsibility to the grave. 

“Hm,” his dulcet hum once again reverberated in your bones before hearing his succeeding words that had echoed loudly on your mind, “will it be too much to ask Hime-sama to accompany me? I would love to stroll around the Ceremonial Site if only for a bit. History books claimed that it is one of the most mysterious places in Inazuma.” 

Placing a significant amount of distance between you and your family propelled you to respond without thinking any further, “Of course, Kamisato-dono. Allow me the honors.” 

Outside the estate, your eyes wandered upwards, seeing the bright glow of the moon taking refuge in the clear skies. 

Though the Yashiro Commission pinned an intimidating presence around you, a sense of freedom wrapped you up in its embrace. 

“Kamisato-sama, shall we accompany you?” who seemed like the head of the samurais approached and asked. 

Ayato glanced your way before answering, “No. Stay here.” No further arguments had been raised thereafter. 

Tsurumi Island at night carried with it a kind of atmosphere that represent an impending doom. There was no forest on the island, saved for huge trees that possessed dead branches with little to no fronds. Flowers occasionally bloom, but they are a rare sight. 

Beyond its sinister air, the island was rich in its culture. The people stood as pillars for each other. It was what you have grown up with, it was what your ancestors had built: never turn your back on your neighbor. Along with that lesson was the deep reverberation of the waters in your soul. Having surrounded by sea, the hum of waves had already been entrenched in your ears. It had become a comfort and a friend. 

“What are these?” 

You turned in time to see the young lord standing beside a stormstone. His delicate fingers stroked the stone piles propped up on another stone slab that reached the height above Ayato’s knee. 

“They are named stormstones.” You ambled closer to him. Ironically, the suffocating air inside the house had dissipated when it was only you together. “You will see them across the island. These stormstones aid us in finding the right path when the Fog reaches the land and we couldn’t see past its thickness.” 

“How so?” His fingers rubbed at his chin. 

“Whenever we see the Fog approaching, we will light these stormstones with small lamps. It will then guide us home,” you further explained. 

“Fascinating.” Ayato’s eyes flitted your way. Its purple swirl, this time, reflected a deeper hue. As though it was absorbing the night. “I have never seen anything like it before.” 

“Because you have never been in Tsurumi until now, my lord,” you commented lightheartedly. “Perhaps you shall visit more often, especially when the Fog is thick, so I can show you how these stones work.” 

“What a dangerous suggestion that accounts for different outcomes.” He might’ve perceived the question in your eyes for he followed, “When the Fog is thick, no one can pass through. It is risky, but a risk I am willing to take. And when I reach the island in one peace, I might not be able to leave.“ 

The connotation mixed with his last sentence flashed you brief imagery. Of Ayato staying, becoming one of the people. He would be permanent, always near and at a hand’s reach. 

Everything would’ve been easier that way, wouldn’t it? But what a foolish thought, indeed. It made you hot with embarrassment. 

You cleared your throat as you averted your gaze. “This is the way to the Ceremonial Site.” 

You walked in silence. A silence that had granted you reprieve to manage your thoughts and to prepare yourself for the conversation hanging above your heads: the talk of marriage. 

Marriage. With the current head of the Kamisato Clan. A clan that even the Shogun favored. 

It remained bizarre, to say the least. And maybe you were placing him on a high pedestal, but what could you possibly offer this man who could reach for anything with only a stretch of his hand? What could this man, with his finely embroidered jinbaori, one that you knew took great pains to make, and a reputable surname attached to his back possibly want from you? 

The starlit skies magnified the mystery and beauty that the Ceremonial Site held. Candles surrounded the space, glowing luminescent to cast light upon the markings on huge stone slabs that make up the arc for the Thunderbird. Legends claimed that the great Thunderbird would perch atop the arc and grant the people’s wishes every once a year. 

If you would speak yours tonight, would the Thunderbird listen? Another foolish thought, for you possessed not a grasp on what you truly yearned for. 

“The paintings failed to give justice.” Ayato’s eyes drifted toward the arc. The night unmasked his awe, baring it naked before you. “It is beautiful. Utterly so.” 

“Paintings?” You arched a brow. 

“Yes. In Narukami during Iradori Festival, they hang paintings of different sceneries across Inazuma. That of the Ceremonial Site has always bewitched me. I consider it a dream come true seeing it in person.” 

Your eyes crinkled to the sides as your lips stretched to a warm smile. “You hold it in such high regard that the look in your eyes makes my heart full. Your words are too kind, my lord.” 

Kamisato Ayato’s transfixed gaze fell and lingered on your face. Heat crept up on your nape, but you willed yourself to look undeterred. Those eyes were a dangerous eddy. You had to swim away from it even if it kills you. 

“Hime-sama, I take it that you know well enough my reason for being here.” The wind whistled and blew Ayato’s hair to his face, leaving his eyes unconcealed. 

At long last, the seal had been broken, shattering the restraints of a conversation that you had forebodings about. 

You had spent nights after nights turning on your bed, with Ide and Kuroda’s visit blocking you away from a fitful sleep. That was the truth you desperately tried to bury. It was scary thinking of it resurfacing. And that fear had placed a sheen of shame on your being an onna-bugeisha. 

Courage was one of the first things a warrior should embed in their heart. But that same courage seemed to flee when the delicate part of the heart was involved. 

You squared your shoulders and looked him straight in his enchanting eyes. “Yes, my lord. You are here to ask for my hand in marriage. It is something I hold not an ounce of control over. If you wish to marry, I only need to prepare my dowry and sail with you to Narukami Island without a word.” 

“You speak of it like the ground has opened up to swallow you whole. Forgive me, but I have a strong impression that you wish not to marry me.” 

“No, wish is not the fitting word to mirror my feelings. Wishing is far too hostile.” Courage tingled in the tips of your fingers, crawling up to your heart quickly. “I know, my lord, that being born as a woman meant that some lord only need to lay his claim on me. And yet… and yet I have always wanted to hold onto my own choices. If I wish to marry, it will be with a person I dearly love.” 

His jaw ticked once. “I am not here to strip you of your choices. It is difficult, I know. I stand before you tonight with a failed marriage behind me. A woman like you deserved more than that.” 

You blinked at the realization. Yes, he had been married once. “Shall we talk about that? I believe I have the right to know.” 

“I see, you have not heard of it yet.” His shoulders loosened. 

“News from Narukami seldom floats on our shore, my lord,” you countered. 

Regardless of the bite, Ayato did not let go of the fluidity in his poise. He rasped a hum yet again. “She disappeared without a trace. No one knew where she was until recently. We found her pair of geta on Seirai’s shore but not her. It seemed like she had drowned herself.” 

Your stomach churned, unease sparking like flames within you. Narukami to Seirai? She had traveled that far? Shivers ran down the length of your spine. 

“I… I offer you my sincere condolences. It must’ve been hard.” 

He seemed pretty composed for a husband who recently lost his wife in such a tragic fate. Then again, who were you to judge? 

“It was a loveless marriage, bound only by our clans’ desire to strengthen each other. I rarely saw her as I was neck-deep in responsibilities. Despite that, I feel responsible for her demise. I should’ve tried harder to make her happy.” 

Sporting a look of complete confusion, your eyebrows folded and narrowed. “Have you not learned anything about marrying without love? It ends in tragedy.” 

Ayato’s posture remained unbent. His other hand was on the hilt of his katana strapped to his hip. “Oh, I have learned many things, Hime-sama. One of the lessons I hold dear is to make sure that my wife is as buoyant as she could ever be beside me.” 

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Pray tell, how would you do it?” 

One edge of his lips smiled higher than the other. “You’ll have to marry me to know.” 

The distinct sound of your heart beating was caught in your ears. You filled your lungs with calculated breath to steady your drumming pulse. 

“I am a warrior. I am afraid that I will not be fit to be someone’s wife, especially your wife.” You hardened your resolve and formed your heart into steel.

However, the young lord stood unyielding before speaking again with fire hot enough to melt steel, “You are a warrior. And if that is not reason enough to speak vows before you, I am nothing but a mindless fool.” 

“You say that as if you will not turn away when I leave my trails with blood and claw marks.” 

“I will cover your wreckage and kiss your bloodied claws, then,” he spoke softly but determinedly. 

He had unearthed an unknown feeling, one that curled in your center. You gathered yourself despite it and forced your mind out of your stupor. “I cannot marry you. This island needs me.” 

The air around you began to feel condensed. Like the candles were hissing at the crackle between you and the young lord. 

“I admire your fortitude,” he said, from a warrior to a fellow warrior. “If you ever have a change of mind, Hime-sama, I am to stay here until tomorrow. Seek me, and I will receive you.” 

—

A rush of something foreign took hold of your heart that night. A fist in your chest, warm and covered with thorns. Those thorns pricked the sides of your eyes until they had been glossed with tears.

Why did you weep, exactly? What was it, exactly, that weighed in on your chest? Was it the lost opportunity? Or was it the realization that even with an intense desire to be loved, you would always fall and choose to be a warrior? And attached to it were the consequences of insecurity pulling you down the depths of misery. 

The silent tears were nonsensical. You need not be your own enemy. Within you lies a strength that had helped protect the island for years since you mastered the naginata. 

You rubbed the tears away from your cheeks. Everything would return to normal once the night peals a new day. Kamisato Ayato’s memory and his every word would withdraw together with the stars. 

Or it won’t. 

At an alarming hour of midnight, a shake that had rattled your bones woke you up from deep slumber. The sight was blurred before you as a consequence of the tears that had stung your eyes before falling asleep. 

You rubbed at your eyes, brows crumpled as your mother’s face took its shape. “What is it?” you mumbled hoarsely. 

Unmitigated horror shadowed her features. “The kura… the kura is burning.” 

With a loud thump against your ribcage, your vision cleared and locked in your mother’s face. You were waiting for the jibe— you were waiting for Kuina to slap you awake. It did not come. 

And the scene was horror incarnated. Cinders flew around the whole yard with the sick sizzling of wood burning into hot flames. 

Your ears rang, furious tears racing down your cheeks this time. 

The other villagers were hopelessly throwing buckets at the blazing warehouse. As if it would make any difference. As if it would save the sacks of rice grain and the months of hard work the villagers had succumbed themselves to. 

“Hime-sama!” 

The voice had been lost to your senses. Sobs were choking your throat and you felt like going mad. Demented even, struggling to pass through the flames until someone yanked you away from the death it certainly delivered. 

“L… let me go! I need… I need to save…” The words were a jumble of raving noise. You were frozen— gelid beyond recognition. “Let me go… Ryu’s medicine— Let me go!” 

“Hime.” 

That voice. 

A pair of purple eyes buried themselves in yours, mirroring the same agony under the betrayal of the moon. 

The stars were intoxicated with the sin of smoke and flame. The earth blurred and spun. The sky was not your savior and the rain turned its back on the island. 

“Kamisato-dono…” Your knees gave up, with the both of you sliding down the ground showered with ashes. 

“I’m here,” he whispered against your hair but no amount of consolation could pacify your cries. 

“Hime-sama!” Kuina gasped and bowed before you. She was kissing the ground, rubbing her palms together while hysterically mouthing her apologies. “It was my fault! It was my fault!” 

Your sight had gone as red as blood until you were hovering over her, grabbing her collar with tight fists. “What did you do?” 

Kuina wailed. Ashes stroked her cheeks. She looked disheveled beyond comprehension. “I thought… I thought I had put out the candle. Forgive me! Forgive me!” 

“Kuina.” You growled at her face, hot fury once again bedimming your eyes with tears. “Kuina!” 

“Let go of your sister! Hime!” cried your mother as the three of them hauled you away from Kuina. “She did not mean to burn it down!” 

You were screaming and thrashing in the young lord’s tight grip. The soil rubbed your knees raw in your kneeling attempt to reach Kuina locked in the arms of your father while clutching her neck. 

“Forgive me, Hime…” she sobbed but her mewls were as good as stupid bleating in your ears. “Forgive me…” 

Ayato’s hands were cold against your skin. Even his pristine and neat jinbaori had now been defiled with mud, ash, and coal. 

“Help us…” squeezing a handful of his jinbaori, you cried helplessly. “The people would starve. And Ryu… he wouldn’t last long without his medicine. I will do anything… just help us.” 

Ayato tenderly shushed you. “It is unwise to decide while your emotions are bursting forth—”

“I will marry you— offer my blade to you. Just help us.” Over the fizzle of fire and the cries of the villagers, coherent reason had already crumbled on your mind. It was the only choice left. Your family’s coffers had run dry and no merchants would visit the island. There was nothing. There would be nothing. 

“Hime, we will talk once you’ve calmed down,” Ayato insisted, stroking your cheeks to dry your tears. 

“No.” You needed him. Needed his reputation. His connection. And his clan’s opulence. You would not be placated unless you were to be the next lady of the Kamisato Clan. 

With this fire and ashes, you would build a bridge. 

This would be your greatest sacrifice: trade your freedom for fetters uttered between wedding vows. 

His jinbaori ripped under your nails. He must’ve seen the determination, for it was all that your eyes had unveiled. 

“We will burn for each other under the oath of marriage. You will be tied to me, and I to you, Hime-sama. For eternity.” 

He had spoken those words, but it was your grandmother’s voice that echoed in your soul. 

And therefore, you breathed. 

Sobo, his was a mark that would be permanent.

+ TAGLIST. @ssybil @bxnten @sailewhoremoon @thetempleofnyx @sanzu-s @sad-b-tch @sightoru @blueparadis @spookydiluc @redflowerinthesnow @deathkat657 @erishium @sxrcxstrophe @cosmotoic @ayattoist @himboos @genshinparty @thismf7 @call-this-selfindulgent-shit @dottie-witch @noblesavagex @somemydayy @littlemintsister @yaeqirl [ bold = can’t tag ]

[majunju]

(royalty au) surprise

[riemly]

It’s funny how I’m reading a translated manga but then my brain is trying to translate it with the original language 💀💀

[8kh]

DEVOTED, kamisato ayato.

note: this chapter has no warnings— more of like an introduction. it’s been a while since i actually enjoyed what i have written. reblogs are always appreciated! 3241 wc.

+ fem!reader (she/her). romance. fluff. angst. slightly ooc!ayato for plot development. lord!ayato. arranged marriage. eventual smut. canon divergent in terms of the whole concept of visions, archons, non-human creatures (in game bosses, tanuki, kitsunes, hilichurls, mystical elements of the game).

honorifics guide + hime-sama or hime “young lady from an aristocratic house” | -dono “how others not in the clan would address the lord or head of the house, and how would his subjects address him to others not in the clan” | okugata-sama “lady of the house” | han-i “physicians in the edo period” | onna-bugeisha “female warrior/samurai”

+ playlist. | masterlist. | misc.

CHAPTER ONE.

“I have never understood where the line is drawn between sacrifice and self-slaughter.” — Wolf Hall, Hilary Mantel

In a land where thunder reigned eternally, the skies continued to crackle ominously outside your family’s estate, if any piece of luxury was even enough to consider your abode with such a name. 

The Asakura Clan from Tsurumi Island was no more than a clan clinging onto the last shred of its opulence. Leading a life on an island almost lost to Inazuma’s map could only provide enough resources. Peace was guaranteed, despite the occasional ronins and samurai causing mild chaos for having lost their bearings. No one would intentionally venture toward the island in hopes of treasure, after all. 

But if they were prepared to listen to the endless tales of the Thunderbird and how the Fog which surrounds the island brings misfortune to those with ill intentions, they might return home with a pocket full of stories instead of gold. 

The Fog had been protecting the island for as long as you could remember. It had existed since the dawn of time and before your ancestors’ birth. It had always been there. By how thick it was, not everyone would dare traverse through it for the fear of being led astray to nothingness, regardless if they were from the outside or inside of Tsurumi. 

That would explain the confusion that washed through you upon seeing two strangers seated on your tatami mat, with a freshly brewed tea offered to them. From their clothing alone, you had deduced that they weren’t peasants searching for a roof to sleep under nor merchants trying to sell their goods. They looked like aristocrats. And what business do they have here to brave the Fog and the inclement weather?

Serene conversations were shared between them and your parents, stopping only when you walked in and caught your mother’s attention. Her eyes widened a fraction, raking you from head to toe. She immediately mouthed the words “turn around” before one of the aristocrats spun his head to see you standing by the threshold. 

You offered a respectful bow, gripping the wooden container close to your stomach. Why do you feel uneasy under those stares? As if it’s examining your potential by your appearance alone. And for all the times that you looked decent, why visit the island now? Now that you had just finished tending to the sick people from Oina Beach? 

You had been there since dawn, attending to the children and elders alike. Halfway back to your estate, it decided to pour, drenching your clothing as well as your whole body. 

“This is our eldest daughter,” your mother introduced, speaking your name with such pride as she pulled you in front of the guests. “She can read and write properly, and has dedicated herself to helping the villagers. Our daughter is also skilled in all forms of art: poetry, calligraphy, painting—”

“And I have mastered the principles of the onna-bugeisha,” you added with an undertone of pride. 

The revelation propelled an exasperated sigh from your mother and a stifled chuckle from your father. Arching your brow in confusion, you stared at her, once again uneasy with the knowing looks the aristocrats shared. 

“I thought we were discussing achievements…” you murmured carefully. Although having to walk the path of the warrior’s way and life wasn’t very pleasing for a woman like you, you held it dearly and had boasted about it a million times before. For years since you became an onna-bugeisha, you protected the island from the external assault of ronins and samurai from different clans along with your fellow warriors. It was not easy and it deserved some recognition.

“That is unforeseen. However, it is fascinating,” one of the aristocrats commented, with the other one nodding his agreement. “Hime-sama has exceeded our expectations, indeed.” 

Your mother flashed them one of her rueful smiles— that smile she utilizes every time someone would compliment her daughters. “I hope it does not soil her clean and good reputation, nonetheless. My daughter simply yearns for knowledge, no matter what it is,” she replied timidly with joy painting her eyes. 

The other aristocrat inclined his head in your direction while wearing a friendly smile. “Forgive us for our impudence as we have not introduced ourselves yet. I am Ide and this is Kuroda. We are envoys from the Yashiro Commission, dispatched by his lordship, the young head of the Kamisato Clan, Ayato Kamisato-dono. It is a pleasure to meet the esteemed daughter of the Asakura Clan.” 

Your cheeks burned at their polite salutation, all you could do was acknowledge it with a tight smile. The courtesy they have shown was not new, but it sure felt like being bathed in cold water in the middle of a hot day. It had been a while since you were greeted with such reverence. 

Nonetheless, Yashiro Commission? Kamisato Clan? You have heard a few things about the Tri-Commission under the direct jurisdiction of the Shogun. Kamisato Clan resides on Narukami Island, located at the foot of Mount Yougou where the Grand Narukami Shrine is located. Apparently, a few years ago, the young head had been betrothed to another clan. Other than that, you knew next to nothing about the clan, courtesy of the Fog and the miles separating you from the mainland. 

“Welcome to Tsurumi Island,” you replied, pushing your chest out and lifting your chin in accordance with your mother’s teaching, “it is a pleasure to meet the both of you. How could we be of service?” 

Beside you, your father stiffened unexpectedly. He definitely hadn’t been acting like himself since you arrived. Normally, he would entertain the guest with a flask of sake and boisterous peals of laughter. 

“Ah, that,” the envoy, Ide, faltered as he wearily glanced at your father before clearing his throat. “We are here to discuss a potential marriage between Kamisato-dono and Hime.”

You whispered a silent prayer to the Thunderbird for sparing you the ignominy of spitting out your tea. Instead, you forced the steaming liquid down your throat with a solid gulp, and as much as it burned, you kept your coughing to yourself. 

“M… marriage?” You blinked at the envoys. “How come?” 

Your mother held your hand softly. She did not show an ounce of surprise, which led you to the conclusion that your parents had already been told about this shocking news before your arrival. The etched instinct of being their eldest daughter whispered to you a forthcoming doom. 

“Is it appropriate to ask the reasons as to why Kamisato-dono wishes to marry again?” Now, her smile had completely transformed into something else. The meaning behind it was known only inside your family. It was curious, yes, and predatory all at the same time. 

You grimaced and said, “Of course, it is appropriate. If I were not mistaken, it was only a few years ago when he was betrothed and now he seeks a new wife?” 

The two envoys appeared uncomfortable with the question, and yet they remained unruffled. 

“Forgive us, but his lordship hasn’t disclosed his reasons.” Kuroda bowed in apology. “In truth, we are seeking a few clans that would agree to the marriage. We have traveled here first to seek the esteemed lady of Tsurumi.” 

You arched a brow at the same time your mother giggled and responded, “Oh, I believe my daughter really has a reputation.” 

“It will be easier for us if you are to be truthful,” you pitched in. Your mother echoed a sharp, sibilant whisper. A fair warning. However, you ignored her completely, fixing your attention on the envoys blinking their way out of confusion and mortification. 

You had never set foot outside the island for years. Yes, you once had visited the mainland to offer your respects to the Shogun, as does everyone else in Inazuma. However, that was already a long time ago. If someone were to point a katana to your neck, asking you to describe the Tenshukaku where the Shogun resides, you would gladly accept death without a fuss. 

“Forgive us, Hime, but we do not follow,” Ide admitted humbly, his eyes low and apologetic. 

You curled your fists around the damped hem of your clothes, nails digging into your palm to create crescents. How odd was it to be slighted by praises, you thought to yourself.

“Where have you learned about our clan?” Your breath was cold as it fanned your chapped lips. The warmth that your tongue had provided moments ago had been concealed with hostility, pressing a heavy air around the tatami mat. 

Of course, these men served the Yashiro Commission, they would know things. Albeit possessing not the slightest clue of how truly influential was the Kamisato Clan, the envoys’ bearings alone showed and carried the reputation of Ayato Kamisato. After all, the grandiosity of a clan reflects on their subjects. That would also explain why your clan had no subjects to rule over. You couldn’t afford them, and nobody could live off with words of gratitude as compensation for their loyalty and service. 

“What kind of question is that? They are from the Yashiro Commission,” your mother answered instead, as if that would suffice as an explanation. 

Call it a peculiar sixth sense or gut instinct alone, but something seemed to hold your mind captive about this unforeseen visit. It seemed surreal to say the least. If Ayato Kamisato was a man of great import, why would he consider a dying clan located in the barren wasteland of Inazuma? Surely, it would not take him the effort of sending envoys in Tsurumi to find a befitting wife outside his estate. 

“It’s alright, okugata-sama.” Ide raised a gentle hand in hopes of placating the brewing tension between you and your mother. “As for Hime’s question, we have compiled a list of all the maidens with reputable family backgrounds. His lordship has woven through the list, day and night, to handpick those he seemed fit for the role.”

If it was not for the doubt that settled in your bones prior to Ide’s explanation, you would’ve swooned thinking that you had been deemed fit to be someone’s wife. You certainly had not grown up as a romantic being, but you harbored a heart that also yearns for a great love.

Fighting the cold of the weather was another warmth spreading throughout your body. Unfortunately, it was not because of the image your mind had created about a certain lord seated on his tatami mat while thumbing through the list of names of his potential new wife. 

“It is similar to walking in a garden bursting with flowers and picking what he deems the most charming, is it not? Oh, to be Kamisato-dono,” you droned out dramatically, picking up your feet and the wooden basin you were carrying with you. “Well, it is a pleasure meeting you, Ide and Kuroda. Much gratitude for braving the Fog to personally convey Kamisato-dono’s proposal. Be rest assured that I will give it a thought.”

You did not wait for your parents’ dismissal before departing from the receiving room, leaving your lie to sprinkle false hopes for the envoys.

—

Come eventide, your antagonism against the envoys’ visit seemed to have taken a deeper root as you listened to your younger sister babble about how imbecilic it was to shut down the proposal.

“Kuina, how many times do I have to tell you that I’ll give it a thought?” Due to your frustration and mild outburst, the ceramic bowls and teacups clattered on the wooden tray you were holding. Supper had concluded, but your sister was far from the end of her unreasonable blithering. 

“Any woman in their right mind would accept the proposal in a heartbeat,” she insisted. “It is Kamisato-dono— the Yashiro Commissioner. Many hearts shattered when news of his marriage flew around Inazuma. And now, by some divine intervention, he is to marry again! He considered you one of his potential brides. You should’ve said yes the moment they revealed their intention.”

There was a tinge of regret, an iota of weakness. But the marriage would not serve you anything, and it is best to devote yourself to the island where you had grown up instead of taking the leap of faith to Narukami Island where certainty does not exist. 

“You seem overly enthusiastic about a man who lives an island away from you, Kuina. Should I worry about your priorities?”

Affronted by your question, Kuina snorted loudly behind you, no doubt rolling her eyes heavenwards. There, you struck a nerve and it left a bitter taste on your tongue. Behind the words she had uttered were the nights when you laid awake together, wondering if it would ever be possible to escape the island and live a life outside the Fog. That was the dream you once shared as innocent and naive children. 

“Let your sister go, Kuina.” Your mother’s words were as sharp as a knife, and Kuina knew better than to play with its edge. 

However, she seemed not to mind bleeding a little for she said, “Well then, my sincere felicitations for ruining your chance at an opulent life with one of the most influential clans in Inazuma.”

The damped rug you were using to clean the wooden cutlery fell down your feet without a sound, but the ceramic bowl shattered with a startling noise. Audible gasps filled the whole space, with Kuina’s being the loudest. 

“Don’t you think it is best to close your mouth now, Kuina?” you uttered in a low voice, “because it hurts my ears listening to you spewing such nonsense.”

“Y… your sister only jest,” your mother stammered over the deafening silence. 

With a clenched jaw, you turned around. Your sister’s face contorted to that of worry, the scar on her cheek glaring at you. Consoling Kuina by holding her arms was your mother. The gesture was protective, and with reasons you understood too well. Upon the sight, you snapped out of your spleen with your heart throbbing painfully. Shame took shape inside your chest, heavier with each passing breath. All you could do to souse your burning distress was to flee. Run away from the estate. Run away despite the screams of your father that you go back.

As your chest expanded and contracted from running, your feet brought you to the Ceremonial Site, where you found the solace you hankered for. The rain had subsided into a drizzle with every drop falling like little ants on your skin. 

On a normal day, there would be elders praying and lighting incense for the Thunderbird around the Site. Children would run to and fro from Mount Kanna to light a candle and offer their respects, as well. 

When you were a kid, some adventurers would visit Tsurumi for its history. One that had struck your memory the strongest was Roald. He was from Mondstadt, a country northwest of Inazuma. Mondstadt was the city of freedom, he said, with a towering cathedral, lush forests, crystal clear rivers, and a rich winery of the Ragnvindr Clan. 

As much as stories from Mondstadt ignited your curiosity until it was stronger than a wick of flame, it was the other islands you remained interested in. Much to your luck, Roald carried with him a thousand more tales about Narukami, Kannazuka, Yashiori, Watatsumi, and Seirai Island. 

In Narukami, it was the Chinju Forest that left an impression. Roald claimed that it would take everything in him to forget the place. Chinju Forest reaches its peak especially when it is twilight. With its luminescent fauna, little streams that reflect the night, and lush trees surrounding the forest, Roald swore it was hard to forget. 

It remained clear to you how you clung to Roald when it was time to depart the island, begging him to take you to Chinju Forest. He merely laughed, then, and gave your head a soft pat. 

“One day, you’ll see it with your own eyes, Hime. One day.” 

Over the horizon, there was nothing but the distant fog. Not even the silhouette of Seirai, the nearest island, could be seen in Tsurumi. Carved in your heart were Roald’s tales, without hopes to ever see those places in person. Or perhaps you needed only marry Ayato Kamisato. 

The thought forced a bitter laugh to echo. 

You would not forsake Tsurumi for your selfish desires no matter how unforgiving the Fog is to its own people.

—

“Hime, is it true that you are to be married?” 

The pestle in your hand tumbled down the table at the question. Wiping the sweat from your brow with an awkward bearing, you lifted your gaze to the child in front of you. Days had bled to a month since the envoys’ visit, but it would seem as though their arrival had captivated the whole island. Wherever you go, the elders would find a way to have you harking back to the proposal, receiving a handful of disappointed looks the moment you speak your apparent rejection of the union.

“No, I am not,” you replied with a forced smile. “Where have you heard about it, Ryu?”

The little boy’s eyes shone like two pearls hurled from the sea. Ryu was one of the children you teach swordsmanship to and the child closest to you. You witnessed his mother give birth to him all those years ago. But Ryu unfortunately had grown up with an illness that renders him incapable of running and playing strenuously.

Once every week, you would help his mother prepare his medicine in their home. That includes drying Naku weeds under the sun for its powder to be mixed in Ryu’s tea. According to the han-i, Naku weeds would best heal Ryu’s condition, or at least prevent it from worsening. However, the supply of Naku weeds had always been scarce as they could only be harvested from Kannazuka and Seirai. 

“Hanako…” he replied, propping his chin on his hands. “She said it couldn’t be the truth while crying. Nobody would protect the island anymore if you had been whisked away by Kamisato-dono.”

Curious eyebrows curved into your forehead. “Hanako cried? And how did you know what to address the Commissioner, hm?”

Hanako was Ryu’s playmate. The little girl had not been the friendliest whenever your paths crossed, courtesy of what you believed a little affection she harbored for Ryu. To hear that she cried believing that you were leaving the island blanketed your heart with warmth. 

His cheeks went beet red. “I… mother told me about his name,” he murmured. “You certainly won’t marry him, right?”

You hummed in consideration only to tease Ryu. “That would depend on whether he would seek me personally. If he is to sail here and ask for my hand in marriage while kneeling, I may reconsider—”

“Hime-sama! Hime-sama!”

You jolted in your position by the tatami mat, swinging your head as fast as lightning at the sound of Kuina’s voice. Before you could nag her for the frantic screaming, she was before you while clutching her chest in an attempt to pacify her raging lungs. 

“What are you being so loud for?” you asked, voice shrilly.

Kuina clasped your hands in a bone-shattering grip. “He’s here!”

“Who… Who’s here?” You went absolutely still. 

“The Yashiro Commissioner! The young head of the Kamisato Clan! Ayato Kamisato! He’s looking for you!”

+ TAGLIST. @ssybil @bxnten @sailewhoremoon @thetempleofnyx @sanzu-s @sad-b-tch @sightoru @blueparadis @spookydiluc @redflowerinthesnow @deathkat657 @erishium @sxrcxstrophe @cosmotoic @ayattoist @himboos [bold = can’t tag]

[versadies]

INTERLUDE || NO BODY NO CRIME

SYPNOSIS (of chapter). in which he wanted it to be you and no one else.

SYPNOSIS (of series). breaking up with your first love was heartbreaking, but not as heartbreaking as getting invited to his wedding after years of not seeing him. that is, until things seem to be easier when you encounter a certain guest, who could end up being more than just a blooming friend to you.

CHARACTERS. kamisato ayato, diluc ragnvindr, thoma ( w/ gn!reader )

CONTENT. fluff/angst/comfort, modern!au, ooc (?), mentions of breakups, unrequited love

PENPALS. @scaraslover @dawgimsohot @kazu-topia @aqualesha @mrkamisato @serami00 @serenareiss @hiqhkey @emperatris-rinaka @bystander36 @irisxiel @coleluuviida @034ven @dear-dairiess @luv3rxcha @hadesaedes @chiro-chiro-kun @hersscherofyatta @mariusvonhangme @yuzuricebun @nejibot @hoshikistarlette @solaaresque @crowbird @lordbugs @estelwrld @reinvqx @chihawari @moonlightaangel @lonelysimpfor2dmen @sniffoat @mxsomn @jiminscarmex @alice0blog @ylimeprive @irethepotatosblog @irethepotato @elychee @rion-s @denkineptune @franini @sophisticatedleslie @thedivinepriestess @smashsubs @httpmitsuya @cottonkendi @uchihaeirin @abvolat @kokushiboswife @kyomihann @prplbunny @crowleysthings @axeybelle09 @chimsblogg @ys14a @leaunce @q-zrs @phoenixdrake88-blog @giyusimpsassemble @saving-for-xiao @jean-kirstiens-wife @strawberryuns @selfinsertintrovert @sachispet (come visit this post if you'd like to be tagged !)

WORD COUNT. 6.8k words

SPECIAL NOTE. we finally arrived at a special chapter of this series ! take note that this is a bit considered as a side-story since this is an interlude, however it is an important chapter as well so enjoy <3 !

EVERMORE MASTERLIST \ MAIN MASTERLIST

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For the longest time, Thoma had always seen you as someone he wants to spend his future with. 

As a foreigner who came to Inazuma, it was clear to Thoma that his classmates don’t like him because of how he’s different from the rest. Unfortunately, he slowly became a victim for bullies, who often bully him for not only not belonging to Inazuma, but also how he doesn’t have a father, who he couldn’t find when he and his mother traveled to Inazuma. 

He felt scared, disappointed even. He misses his home so much, he wished his father didn’t have to disappear so suddenly, and he wished the kids at his age would’ve been nicer. If it weren’t for Ayato, his first ever friend, he would’ve felt so terribly lonely. 

Of course, Ayato could’ve prevented the bullying with just a small chat with the bullies thanks to his background and family name, but Thoma was too kind-hearted and didn’t want to burden his best friend with such matters. 

And then, you came to his life. 

He’s heard of your name before thanks to his mother, who once mentioned how she knew a person who also studies in the same school as him and frequently visits her shop at lunch as well as how their mother is a close friend of hers. He didn’t think much of it since you’re not his classmate.

When he met you however, he fell for you hard. 

He met you one day when he was on his way towards the school gate, only to be blocked by his bullies once again. 

However, for the first time since he came here, someone stood up for Thoma. 

“Hey! Leave him alone, you trolls!” His eyes widened when he saw someone standing in front of him with their back facing him as though they were on defense. What are they doing? He thought in confusion. 

One of the bullies didn’t seem to feel threatened by you. “Or what? You don’t even have the guts to– OW!” 

He gasps when he sees you grabbing a small pebble from the ground nearby and doesn't hesitate to throw it at one of the bullies, causing the bully to let out a yelp when the pebble manages to hit them by the head. 

“What the hell?! Are you trying to kill us?” 

“Killing’s a strong word,” You said with a huff before grabbing another pebble. “But I will do it again if I see you bullying him next time!” 

“Are you alright?” You ask, turning around to see the blonde-haired man as the bullies ran off in embarrassment and in fear. 

Wow. 

He could feel his breath hitch when he saw you, staring at you in awe. “I-I’m alright,” He immediately replied in embarrassment, looking away from you when he realized he'd been staring. “Thank you for uh.. For uh…” 

You paid no mind to how he didn’t finish his sentence, letting out a small laugh. “It’s no problem! You’re…. Thoma right?”  

The child was even more surprised, not expecting you to know his name. “U-Uhm, yea! How do you know my name?” 

“Your mom. Your family owns Komore Cafe, right?” You asked, eyes brightening.

He nodded, eyes brightening from you mentioning his mother’s cafe. “Oh uh.. Yeah! Are you a regular customer there?” 

You nodded eagerly. “Yes, I’m obsessed with your drinks! Are you on your way there?” 

“Yeah, actually. I just finished cleaning my classroom so–”

“Great, mind if we go there together?” 

Thoma almost chokes on his words, his heart instantly races from your request. “Sorry, what did you say?” He asks, unsure if he heard you right.

“Is it okay if you and I walk there together?” You repeated. “I-It’s fine if you don’t want to! I was thinking it’d be great if we go to the same bus together, at least I have a buddy to come with since I was used to going to your cafe with one of my friends.” 

Usually, Thoma preferred to walk towards the cafe on his own, but he found himself agreeing to your request, excusing it as a way for him to pay you back for saving him. “Sure, I don’t mind! I’m sure my mom would be delighted to hear that I got to see one of her regular customers and had someone who defended me from those bullies.” 

You smile widely, immediately standing beside him. “Alright then, lead the way, Thoma!”

At that moment, Thoma finally found something, or someone rather, to think about in his own little world.

From then on, you and Thoma started going to the Komore Cafe together whenever you can. 

Your conversations were surprisingly not that awkward despite Thoma being so flustered from his feelings towards you at first. He supposes it’s because of how you weren’t bothered with his flusteredness, which he’s glad of. For someone who’s supposedly great at socializing with anyone, he sure wouldn’t seem like one if people knew how he acted around you at first. 

Not to mention the bus rides – oh the bus rides – his moments with you are always precious there. Besides the games you two played while waiting for the bus to stop by the cafe along with the conversations you had, there was especially one time when you fell asleep on his shoulder from exhaustion in your p.e. class. He wasn’t sure how long he was able to hold in the urge to scream until he was finally in his room alone. 

When it comes to visiting Komore Cafe, you always go to one certain seat you’d sit in. Much to his delight, you’d also invite him to sit and chat with you about anything that comes to your mind. It’s those moments when he wished it could last forever. 

In a blink of an eye, a few years had passed and the two of you became best friends in high school. 

By the time Thoma was in high school, he started to help out more in the cafe as people eventually got used to the foreigner. To your delight, he even became more sociable with others! You felt like a proud mother whenever you’d see your schoolmates interacting with him happily.  

You also order the same thing everyday to the point where Thoma can make your order in auto-pilot. If you feel like it, you’d even sometimes order other things, which is none other than his favorite order. If only you knew how it sets his heart ablaze the moment you told him you’d like to try it. 

Sometimes, you’d even try to help in serving drinks in the cafe, to which Thoma insists you don’t need to do that until his mother told him you’ve helped her handle the cafe often whenever he’s busy with school activities that made him stay. Ah, it made him have all the more reasons to love you than he should. 

By the time you and Thoma became second-year students, everything changed. 

As much as Thoma didn’t want to admit, he was so sure Ayato was catching on to his secretive feelings. It honestly felt like the man could read him like an open book.  

No amount of words could tell how shocked Thoma was when he encountered Ayato in the cafe, the blonde-haired man was staring at his dear friend like a deer caught in headlights as you stood beside him in confusion from why he stopped his tracks. 

He thought this was it, this is when Ayato will tease me 24/7!

However, the dreadful moment Thoma has been waiting for did not come. Even when he introduced you to Ayato, even when he left you two off to chat so he could prepare his and your drinks, and even when you left early to do your homework in your home. It honestly made Thoma feel nervous the entire day. Just what is on Ayato’s mind? He wonders to himself as he continues to serve his customers in the cafe, eyeing towards the blue-haired man’s direction suspiciously. 

It wasn’t until Thoma took a break and sat across to his best friend, who continued to drink his boba silently. 

“...That person…” Ayato spoke up, staring at where you left.

The blonde-haired man chuckles nervously, dreading the teases. “You mean ( Name )? What about them?” 

He finally looks at Thoma with an expression he had never seen before. “I… I’d like to get to know them more.” 

Oh. 

Oh. 

Thoma felt like time froze when he realized what was going on. 

As someone who was in love for so long, Thoma knew what love looks like. 

And it was all over Ayato's face.

At first, the blonde haired man thought nothing of it, telling himself that maybe he was just overthinking things. He’s sure Ayato is just interested in getting to know someone as interesting as you since he never heard of you around the school, in a way that one would become interested to have the other as their friend.

Then the blue-haired man started asking about you a lot whenever the two of them are in class. Be it your favorite hobbies, favorite subject, what club you’re in, and so on and so forth to the point where Thoma couldn’t deny the fact that Ayato is absolutely whipped for you. 

He wasn’t sure if the same goes to you. 

Unlike Thoma, Ayato doesn’t need to use the public bus since he has a driver who can come and pick him up to take him home. So when you and Thoma encountered the blue haired man by the school gate despite the fact that he should’ve been home an hour ago, it was safe to say the blonde-haired man was surprised. 

“Oh, are you two on your way to the cafe?” Ayato asks with a smile on his face.

“Yep, are you going there too?” You responded, not noticing the hesitant look on Thoma’s face. 

The blue-haired man nodded in response. “Yes, actually–”

“Great! Why not come with us? Me and Thoma are on our way to the bus stop.” You invited with a smile, your offer got both Thoma and Ayato look at you in surprise. Did you really  just invite Kamisato Ayato to go ride a public bus?

However, before Thoma could tell you that Ayato has to do something else, the blue-haired man chuckles in amusement and beats him to it. “I suppose it won’t hurt to try. You may lead the way.” 

As you eagerly agreed and walked towards the school gate with Ayato following, Thoma stood there, wondering what on earth just happened.

Ayato, who never takes detours and always urgently go to the car that’ll take him home just to study and deal matters with his family’s business, not to mention he only goes to places with said car, and only visits the cafe when he actually had time, accepted to go with you despite knowing that he has an exam to study tomorrow with Thoma – who he clearly remembers how Ayato wasn’t planning on going to the cafe to study with him this week – and even agreed with going there by bus?

The blonde-haired looks down at his bag, the bag that holds a note that he was planning to put inside your locker, for you to know the time and place for him to confess his undying feelings for you. 

Thoma gulps a lump in his throat and slowly starts catching up with you and Ayato, forming a stiff smile on his face. Perhaps it’s for the best if I keep this to myself, he thought to himself. If no one knows, it didn’t happen. 

“What took you so long, Thoma?” You ask with a worried look on your face once you see your best friend standing behind you as the three of you now wait for the bus to arrive. “Did you forget something again in the classroom?” 

He lets out a small laugh in response, ignoring the way Ayato looks at you with different eyes. “Yeah, sorry about that.” 

“It’s alright, you made me worry for a second.” You comment, your worries fade away. “Me and Ayato were talking about drinks that he should try in your cafe – I can’t believe he’s missing out your favorite one!” 

The blue-haired man chuckles in response. “With how you explained it so enthusiastically, who am I to say no and not try it out?” 

Suddenly, it all felt like Thoma is watching a romance movie, his eyes darting between you and then at Ayato as his stiff smile threatens to fall apart when he sees the way you start to become shy with his best friend.

He supposes he should be grateful for not putting the note in your locker and not getting rejected. 

For the rest of the school year, it was clear to Thoma that you could never be with someone like him, not when you have someone like Ayato, who Thoma knows would be the better option. Ayato’s rich, powerful, dedicated, and could make you gush than anyone you ever fallen for – unlike Thoma, who’s just… himself. 

So he stands by and watches you and Ayato become together, as though he’s just a background character in a romance movie with you two being the main characters. 

Thoma even helped Ayato out in many ways he can to make him have progress with being connected with you more. Whether it’d be him backing out from your table with an excuse of working  so it would just be you and Ayato, him lying that he doesn’t know a certain topic that he obviously knows just so Ayato could help you study himself during study sessions, and even help his best friend plan his promposal to you– all those moments in which Thoma tells himself that this is his way of repaying Ayato for being his dearest friend since childhood. 

It hurts when you and Ayato officially become a couple. 

It hurts to go to his bed, no longer giggling or flustered from his shared moments with you as he stares at the ceiling with an empty look on his face. It hurts to work in his beloved cafe, trying to ignore how you and Ayato love each other as some of his customers would gush about how you two look like the perfect couple. It hurts to walk around the school campus as he hears whispers and hushed voices in both envy and admiration about how you and Ayato are such high school sweethearts.

He was glad that he never told anyone about his closed feelings towards you, the pity people would give could make the feeling worse than now. If no one knows, then nothing happened.

As years go by, so did the pain. 

Although Thoma had long accepted the fact that he’ll never get to be with you by the end of senior year, the pain didn’t go away that fast. How could one give up their feelings that they’ve felt for so many years just like that?

He couldn’t, and he hated himself for that. 

He watched as your relationship with Ayato grew throughout high school and college – it was evident that the two of you would never break up at all from how much the both of you love each other, and he envied it. Yet he didn’t do anything with his envy and heartbreak, he only continued to pursue in supporting your relationship. As long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters to Thoma. 

When it comes to you and Ayato fighting, you’d often come to Thoma for advice. He could’ve declined it, but he didn’t. He listened to you and comforted you in every way he could. He knows Ayato just as much as he knows you, so it wasn’t difficult to reassure you that yes, everything will be okay in the end. 

So when he watched Ayato leaving you one day with you sitting on your favorite spot of the cafe dumbfounded, he knew everything was not okay. 

When he saw you following Ayato and left your things, he felt worried. Did something bad happen between you and Ayato that made him leave?

Thoma continued to wait for what felt like an hour, when in reality it was only a few minutes before he saw you coming back. 

His heart broke at the sight of the empty look on your face.

From spending so much time with you, Thoma knew you were holding your tears in. You’re someone who never wanted to cry in public, and you’d probably even won’t tell anybody about it in fear of being a burden to them. 

But you’re never a burden to him.

He decided to slowly come up to you, watching you pack your stuff in a quick manner, as though you wanted to get out as soon as you can. Suddenly, you accidentally made one of your books fall, and he noticed how you flinched from the loud sound. 

The blonde-haired man quickly looked around, and to his relief, none of the customers were bothered by the sudden sound. 

Before you could try to get it, Thoma beat you to it and grabbed it for you.  

“Here you go, ( Name ).” The blonde-haired man said with a sweet smile.

“...Thanks, Thoma.” You spoke in a soft tone, and it hurts Thoma to hear how devastated it sounded. What on earth did Ayato do to you?

Just when he was about to ask if you needed anything, you shut your bag when you shoved the book inside and turned around towards the exit. “See you next time, Thoma.” 

Understanding that you needed space, he nodded slowly. “See.. you next time, ( Name ).” He said, watching you walk towards the door and leave the cafe.

As soon as you left and disappeared from his view, Thoma’s smile dropped. 

If only he knew at that moment how this would be the last time he’d see you. 

It didn’t take long before he quickly noticed how you and Ayato no longer meet each other the next day. It’s sometimes like this if your fights with Ayato were serious and led you to avoid the man, but this was different. 

It was as though the two of you had finally broken up. 

His concern further increases when he sees how you started to avoid people – specifically those who are also close friends with Ayato – as well as how you’re now found alone in school or with Ei and Miko if they aren’t busy from tasks as the student council officers. Although you still looked okay to others, Thoma knew you weren’t.

Despite the fact that you never talked to him since the incident, he didn’t come up to you either, thinking that it’s best that you need some space. The moment you call him, you can guarantee that he’ll instantly try to do everything he can to get to where you are. 

As for Ayato, he acts as if you never existed, acting the same as always. Whenever Thoma tries to bring you up in his conversations, the blue-haired man instantly changes topic with an unexplainable look on his face. He isn’t sure if Ayato’s truly alright, but the blue-haired man has always lied that he’s okay whenever the blonde-haired man asks.

For the first time since elementary school, Thoma felt helpless.

He felt sick to his stomach whenever you and Ayato’s mutual friends expressed their concerns about the two of you since none of you had any longer met up with them in the cafeteria. He’s just as concerned as they are, but he couldn’t do anything about it. 

It wasn’t until a few weeks had passed since his interaction with you in the cafe when Ei and Miko – the two people Thoma’s not the closest to – came up to him while he was on cleaning duty in class when he finally got the chance to talk to you. 

“They’re not doing good..” Ei spoke softly, frowning at the thought of you. “Miko and I did everything we could to comfort them for the past weeks, but ( Name ) wants to talk to you.” 

His eyes widened. 

The pink-haired woman then added, “I know you haven’t talked to them for the past few weeks – but we can tell that they need you now. They kept asking us how you were and if you’re still safe from being bullied whenever we visited them.” 

Thoma couldn’t help but feel touched. Even when you’re at your lowest, you still wonder about his well-being. 

Ei gestures to the man to come with them towards your dorm. “I’ll ask someone to handle the classroom. We need you to go to them now.” 

The student council president didn’t have to say it to him twice.

Thoma did everything he could to come to where you are as fast as his feet can take him, the only thing that runs in his mind is regret that he didn’t come to you sooner and ask if you’re alright. You must’ve thought he was avoiding you too. 

How could I be so stupid? He thought to himself, running faster when he’s closer to your dorm. 

By the time he arrived, it felt like he wasn’t in your dorm at all.

There was no liveliness that helped him feel welcomed, no music that you often listen to playing in the speaker, nor is there any furniture that isn’t dusty from being used.

He slowly took quiet steps towards your bedroom, taking note of how some pictures that had you and Ayato were missing as well as a few items that belonged to Ayato’s. 

He tried not to crumble when he saw you in your bedroom, staring at the window with eyes that no longer sparks life. It’s almost like Thoma’s just staring at an empty shell of what you used to be. 

When you noticed someone’s presence, you slowly turned away from the window to look at Thoma’s direction, only to lightly gasp when you found out who it was. He didn’t fail to notice how your eyes were swollen.

“...Hey ( Name ),” He spoke softly with a sad smile. “How have you been?” 

The both of you fell silent, and you continued to stare at him in shock.

A few seconds was all you needed before you felt your tears forming again, your shoulders began to shake. 

“He… He said he doesn’t love me anymore…” You sobbed, lifting your hands up to cover your face from your best friend, whose heart shattered at the sight of you. “He broke up with me and left me! A-And he keeps on ignoring me whenever I try to talk to him and I… I thought you didn’t want to hang out with me anymore and I don’t know how to face everyone else when Ayato and I are–” 

You gasped once more when you felt his arms wrapped around you into a comforting hug. “I would never want to stop hanging out with you, ( Name ). You won’t lose me.” He said in a reassuring tone, rubbing your back. “It must’ve been rough for you to go through so much, I’m sorry for not coming up to you sooner.” 

You slowly hug him back and close your eyes, sniffing as tears continue to come out. “I missed you, Thoma. I want to go to the cafe everyday like before but.. But I’m scared that I… I might see him again and breakdown and look like a fool in your cafe and–” 

“Hey, hey, it’s alright, don’t worry,” He spoke softly, “I can visit here everyday with your favorites. I’ll make sure you won’t see him if that’s what you want. Plus, the cafe’s trying out delivery now and I can just deliver it to you.” 

He feels your shoulders relaxing in response. “...Thank you, Thoma.” You whispered, still hugging him with no intentions of letting go just yet. 

“Anything for you, ( Name ).” He mumbles, closing his eyes. At this moment, all of his loyalty towards Ayato was forgotten, the only thing he prioritizes the most right now is to make sure you’re happy. 

“Anything for you.” 

It was a long journey, Thoma admits. He couldn’t blame you for having a hard time moving on since you were with Ayato for so many years and because you still don’t know the proper explanation as to why he broke up with you in the first place. 

Nevertheless, he was proud that you can face Ayato without crying anymore, and fully supported your decision in avoiding Ayato instead of continuing to try and talk to him. 

When Thoma saw Ayato entering the cafe, he was ecstatic – only for his face to drop when he saw a woman hugging his arm with a loving smile. 

It wasn’t until he overhears the conversation when Ayato asks the woman out on a date when he felt upset – rightfully so. How could he move on so fast and even find love with someone else? He was disappointed, really. 

Fortunately, you didn’t go back to square one when Ayato announced his official relationship with Chisato. However, that didn’t mean you weren’t hurt from the news. 

Thoma, alongside your dear friends who immediately visited you after finding out what happened, made sure to always be there by your side when you needed it. He respects everyone with how dedicated they are in cheering you up – especially Ei and Miko, who was by your side from the very beginning. 

He watched the way the two women insulted Ayato for breaking your heart whilst soothing you with words, bringing you light novels that Miko got her hands on from her family’s business as well as foods that Ei bought on her way to your place, and so much more.

Thoma was relieved that there’s people out there who are by your side just as much as he is with you.

He still continued to hang out with Ayato of course– however, it felt as though the tension between them was a bit stiff since the incident.

Thoma was glad Ayato’s current girlfriend, Hiiragi Chisato, wasn’t someone that’s malicious and greedy. Not when she was kind, considerate, and hardworking just as much as Ayato. She’s definitely someone Ayato’s parents would be glad to have as their daughter-in-law with how successful and wealthy her family is, unlike you – who unfortunately got disapproved by Ayato’s parents as soon as they found out that you weren’t particularly as wealthy as they are and don’t have a successful family business when Ayato told them after your first visit. 

Though, it’s safe to say that he felt bad whenever he and the others – Yoimiya, Itto, Sara, Kokomi, Gorou, and even Ayaka –  avoid the topic whenever Chisato mentions you. It’s clear that they didn’t want her to know about you, knowing that she would want to try and meet you unaware about your past relationship with Ayato. She’s in a completely different department in the university, so it’s no surprise that she doesn’t know you are Ayato’s past lover.

Even when you’re trying to move on, you still miss and love Ayato. Thoma could understand, since he has been through it when he found out that you love Ayato back, so he always reassures you that you shouldn’t stress that you’re taking too long to move on. 

It wasn’t until something happened in the after-finals party.

Thoma didn’t know what happened, but he did see you following Ayato outside and walked back in an hour later with an angry look on your face. 

“Are you alright, ( Name )?” Thoma asks as you stand beside him by the kitchen with your eyes narrowed.

“I’m done with him.” You mumbled, glaring at where Thoma assumes Ayato is in. “I’m sick and tired of him.”

The blonde-haired was surprised, but then he grabs an alcoholic bottle before pouring it on a new cup, handing it over to you as an offer. “Care to drink with me and tell me about it then?” 

Without hesitation, you grabbed the cup he poured and took a quick sip, unbothered by the burning sensation in your throat. “Gladly.” 

Just as you said so, you stopped crying for Ayato ever since that night. 

No one besides Thoma knew what happened between you and your ex in the party, but none dared to question it – even Miko herself. Nevertheless, what matters is that you’re moving on from Ayato, and they’re proud of you for that. 

However, there was still one thing Thoma wondered.

His best friend’s side. 

It just didn’t make sense, if he had to be honest. Why would Ayato, who’s always dedicated and committed to you and your relationship, suddenly fall out of love? 

Ayaka wondered the same thing when Thoma reached out to her about Ayato, saying how her brother went home one night acting strange and out of his mind, only for him to reassure her that he’s alright and acted normal the next day, pretending that nothing happened. 

Now that he thinks about it, how long has his dear friend continued to be like this?

Ever since you and Ayato separated, the blue-haired man grew busier, more silent, and more distant from everyone. It concerned Thoma, but what can he do when the blue-haired man always reassures him that he’s alright?

The same could go for everyone else – the ones who are friends with both you and Ayato – they’re deeply worried for Ayato just as much as they’re worried for you back when they didn’t know what was going on. 

By the time Ayato started dating Chisato, Thoma didn’t bother asking anymore, thinking that he definitely fell out of love with you since he fell in love with someone so quickly.

You started to visit the cafe as soon as your last year of college began, with you ordering new things while playing with Taroumaru, who’s now grown up into a strong puppy who now entertains customers as they await for someone to serve their orders, and enjoyed your time in the place despite it being the place where your heart got broken by Ayato.

Sometimes you’d go alone, and Thoma would keep you company whenever the cafe was quiet, either by studying with you or just chatting with you – just like good times. Sometimes you’d go with someone else, be it a groupmate for a project, your friend, or even your pet so that they can play with Taroumaru. He adored that you still go to your favorite spot.

Then time flew by, with everyone getting jobs after graduating, with Ayato finally getting assigned as the CEO of his family’s business, with the cafe growing famous in Inazuma thanks to social media, 

And with him still in love with you.

He honestly forgot about his feelings when he was by your side comforting you from your heartbreak. He only remembered as soon as Ayaka asked him if he had fallen in love with someone after gushing about the person she had a crush on one day while they were preparing for Ayato’s birthday.

Yes, he’s still in love, but he wouldn’t tell Ayaka that. 

If no one knows, it didn't happen. 

As for you, you found a job. Apparently someone reached out to you about a job that’s under the business that Ei’s family works in, so you’re ecstatic that you’re going to see Ei – who’s more than happy that you’re going to work for her. Thoma was glad that you found a good job that you love, so he was happy for you. 

However, there was something about the job that conflicted you.

“Though… I’m sad,” You said with a sigh, your wide smile turned into a sad one as you looked down at your drink that Thoma prepared for you. “I… I’ll have to go to Liyue in two weeks later to start my job.” 

The blonde-haired man froze, eyes slightly widening. Liyue was far from Inazuma, and it’s obvious that you’re trying to say that you’ll have to stay in the prosperous country for your job. 

“...Oh,” He spoke. “...Did you accept the job?” 

You shrugged. “I’m still thinking. I don’t want to leave this place – let alone leave you and the others. But then again, everything reminded me of him, and this job is my shot in–”

“Then do it.”

You stumbled on your words, looking up at the blonde-haired man in shock. “Wh-What?”

Thoma shoots you an encouraging look. “You should go for it if you want it. Don’t worry about me and the others, we can still be in touch even when you’re away.” 

You blinked a few times. “Should I..?” 

He nodded eagerly. “Follow what your heart wants. You still have Ei and Miko in there, and I’m sure you’d make friends with people who are just as good as everyone here.” He then places his hand on yours in a reassuring grip, something that became a habit of his as a way to comfort you back then. “You’ll never lose me. Call me whenever you’re free to chat, alright? We’re best friends, after all.”

You put your other hand on top of his as well, your smile no longer sad. “..Yeah, you’re right… Thanks, Thoma.”

A few days after that, you finally decided to accept the job, much to Thoma’s delight. He knew you needed to go away and get a fresh start, and your job is worth accepting for. 

He soon helped you pack your things, whilst playing games and watching movies together afterwards. Those nights are when Thoma dreams that it’s just him helping you move into his place, causing him to sleep with a happy heart at the thought. 

The day before you left, everyone decided to hang out in the cafe for your farewell party, giving you gifts to bring with you as well as speeches – with Itto beatboxing for you causing you to laugh – even Ayaka came by and gave you a gift, wishing you well and happy future. 

It’s safe to say that the party was the reason why your worries about leaving your friends ended, you couldn’t help but tear up with how much everyone was proud and happy for your new job.

Thoma was happy that he’s the one who’ll take you to the airport, wanting to be the last person to give you a farewell before you officially leave the country and live in Liyue. 

“I guess this is it.” You said as you stood by the terminal gate that’ll take you to your plane. “I’ll miss you and your cafe, Thoma. Please tell your mom that I’ll miss her too.” 

Thoma nodded. “Of course. You better call me when you arrive at your apartment!”

“Only if you include Taroumaru in your video call!” You teased, the both of you laughing. 

You then pulled him in for a hug. “I honestly don’t know if I’ll be able to chat with you often since Miko and Ei told me working under the Tenryou business will make me a busy person, but I’ll make sure to chat whenever I can.”

“It’s fine, ( Name ).” He reassures you, hugging you back with a soft sigh. “I’ll miss you as well.” 

 “I hope you’ll find someone that will make you happy, Thoma.” You spoke softly. 

“Why would I when I found you?” The blonde-haired man wanted to punch himself for spilling those words from his mouth, until you giggled in response.

“That’s not what I meant Thoma,” You clarified, thinking that he didn’t understand your words. “I meant I hope you’ll be able to find someone who you’ll fall in love with and date. I’m sure you’ll make them as happy as how you made me happy.” 

He stays silent, watching you let go of him and take your luggage from him. “I gotta go now, see you next time, Thoma.” 

Thoma then waves, still frozen from what you said.

There’s no one who I love but you.

– 

“So, they left huh?” Ayato asks, sipping his boba as Thoma sits across from his best friend with a shocked look on his face. 

The blonde-haired man was entering the cafe from the airport when he immediately spotted his best friend inside the establishment for the first time since his visit with Chisato. 

The blonde-haired gulps the lump in his throat, smiling stiffly. “Yeah…” 

Ayato smiles at that response, and he looks as if he’s relieved. “I’m glad… They deserve to go there, that job will make them happier than I can.” 

Thoma then realized what Ayato was doing. He’s finally opening up to the blonde-haired man about you. 

“I do apologize for… being distant.” He spoke. “I know you must be disappointed in me for what I did with ( Name ). I’m disappointed in myself as well.” 

The blonde-haired man frowns, not speaking up as he listens to what the man has to say intently. 

“I never told… anyone about this, so you’re the first one.” Ayato confesses. “Yes, I had to push them away. I know they would fight for our relationship, and I love them for that, but I cannot let them do it.”

“Did you… really fall out of love with them?” Thoma wonders, his heart ponders in suspension. 

The man pauses, and smiles in sadness. “I did not.” 

He gasps in response. “Then.. Then why? Why did you do it?” 

The two of them fell silent for at least a minute until Ayato gave in.

“...The thing I have between me and Chisato,”

He hesitates for a moment. “What we have is simply an arranged marriage.” 

Thoma’s heart dropped. 

Ayato looks out at one of the windows with a longing gaze. “I.. I couldn’t afford to let my sister go in an arranged marriage, I knew it would happen to her. So I decided to take one for her when Chisato’s father offered my parents an arranged marriage.” He explains. “I knew that ( Name ) would be disappointed in me and would try to make me stop it, so I.. I did what I had to do.” 

He then looks back at Thoma. “It’s better this way, don’t you think?” 

“Even if they hate you now?” Thoma asks. 

Ayato nodded. “..I don’t mind. I just want them to be happier now, and that is enough for me. We both know I don’t deserve their love,” He then chuckles to himself, as if disappointed. “I even pushed their relationship with me aside for the sake of my family.” 

Thoma didn’t reply to that, mentally agreeing that Ayato’s right. “What about Chisato?”

The blue-haired man sighs. “She’s aware of this being an arranged marriage. But she isn’t aware that I still long for someone else.” He inhales sharply. “Her father forced me to make sure to charm her before proposing to her so that she’d be more than willing to be in this arranged marriage, so I can’t do anything about it with the fact that she’s in love with me.”

Ayato then notices the familiar sight of his driver coming out from the car outside the cafe, gesturing Ayato to the time. 

“.. I’ll apologize to ( Name ) someday. Then maybe we can be friends again – even if that will take years or even if they potentially won’t allow us to.” He then stands up, grabbing his cloak and his drink. “Thank you for taking care of ( Name ), Thoma. Never speak of this conversation with anyone, alright?”

If no one knows, it didn’t happen. 

As Ayato leaves the cafe after giving both Thoma and his mother farewell, Thoma finds himself sitting in your favorite spot, only this time, he was alone.

–

You couldn’t help but feel amazed by Liyue’s airport as you head over towards the exit, looking around the place as if you’re in a whole new world–

You suddenly bumped into someone, muttering out an apology in embarrassment. Great, first day and you aren’t paying attention to your surroundings!

You paused when you realized the stranger, who also muttered an apology and left, dropped a pocket watch on the ground.

Quickly grabbing the pocket watch, you instantly rush over to the stranger who’s walking side by side with another man, memorizing what words to say in your head. 

“Sir!” You called, and the stranger turned around in confusion. 

“You dropped this,” You said, showing him the pocket watch. “Sorry again for bumping into you, by the way.” 

The man’s eyes slightly widen, slowly grabbing the watch from you. “Thank you.” 

You nodded with a smile. “It’s no problem.” 

Without another word, you immediately ran off from the two men, not realizing how a few people, particularly the paparazzi, were staring at you with wide eyes. 

“My, I’m surprised they didn’t know about us two, Diluc.” Kaeya spoke in amusement, watching you go away. “You’re lucky they gave you that pocket watch. I’m not sure what would happen to you if you lost your father's watch after he just died.”

Diluc, the man you came up to, glared at Kaeya. “Watch your mouth before I make sure you’re not going to my private plane on our way back to Mondstadt.” 

The other laughed. “I’m rich too, Diluc.”

[buggy-tofu]

Garden Gnome goes to inazuma for the irodori festival