Right Said ED @rightsaid-ed - Tumblr Blog

Pretty sure I’m doing the thing where I am exacerbating any problems to create a rift between us because I feel that the end is inevitable because who would want to be with a pile of trash and he deserves better than the mess that I currently am. Push him away every chance I get to prove that he doesn’t want to be with me. I’m being a really healthy individual right now.

rightsaid-ed

Now that I’m here again and reading through these posts I’m quite literally LOLing because it turned out he is the worst person that I spent any time with. Four years of my life I’ll never get back

I’ve kind of wanted to disappear more than I have in quite awhile.

It’s weird because overall I feel better about life, I think.

But there are things that I can’t get over.

I can’t trust anyone and that is hard.

Okay, bye

Everythingisawfulandicanteven So I'll vague-blog on a site I haven't posted to for months A+ coping over here ~disappears into the ether once again~

#whyislifesoterrible #plz stop bringing back the drama #and by drama I mean trauma #and by pleas I mean don't literally bring it up in every argument we have #petition to back off my trauma kthnx #I might be drunk posting #because my worth/world is ending and what's a lady to do

I don’t care that I am the only person that hates fall. I hate it so much

#the colors do not make up for how fucking cold I am

Things that are important to you should also be important to your significant other. Plus, you are not his mother. You have to ask him what is behind his inability to act? I know he doesn't run into problems every time he puts something off but when a problem arises because of his inability to act on things of importance, well...I would just say he only has himself to blame. Please don't blame yourself. His actions have an impact on others around him.

I think I got this one at the same time? Tumblr notifications are confusing so this might be old.

But I hope they’re the same person.

#Anonymous #but this was a genuinely nice message to receive #regardless of when it came

You're a piece of shit. It's no wonder your boyfriend doesn't care about you.

This is the best anon I’ve ever received. Thank you.

#Anonymous

muddling-mal

How am I supposed to not take Ambien every night...

Have you tried other sleep meds? Like trazadone or small dose seroquel?

I’ve tried seroquel and I just can’t tolerate it. No matter how little I take it leaves me dangerously groggy in the morning, to the point where some days I’m uncomfortable driving.

The Ambien is honestly a godsend, but my therapist doesn’t want me to take it every night because of the risk of dependence. I’m trying to do that the best I can, but I woke up at 4 AM today for work and still can’t fall asleep so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I do think I’m going to go get a thing of melatonin. It doesn’t help with my sleep overall, I still wake up a million times, but it at least helps me fall asleep, so I can get 8-9 hours of heavily interrupted sleep instead, which is better than I have been getting

#muddling-mal

How am I supposed to not take Ambien every night when the nights I don’t take it mean I only get 5 hours of heavily interrupted sleep

#I f'real wake up at least 4 times every night #more when I actually fall asleep early #I probably average waking up once an hour

Therapist: How's your mood been?

Me: Pretty good, I'd say.

Me, two days later: sleeps all day, can barely muster the energy to walk the dog, can't remember the last time I showered, hasn't cleaned the apartment in weeks

In a completely unpredictable turn of events I am f-u-c-k-i-n-g exhausted and was so annoyed that the contractor I was working with was insistent on making a 4 hour job into an 9.5 hour job.

#JUST LET ME LEAVE EARLY #I know there are ethical issues with charging for a full day when you only work half a day #but aren't there ethical issues with charging for a full day #when you know it will only take you a half day #regardless of how long you stay onsite?

wakes up with that can’tfallbackasleep feel

Me: Oh! I slept pretty well without Ambien tonight!

checks time: 2:30

Me:

#I am now definitely on some list for googling How To Kill

allthingseurope

It would be super awesome if when I was super sick I didn’t still have to do 90% of everything around the house and not have to prompt SO to do the other 10%, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Pretty sure I'm doing the thing where I am exacerbating any problems to create a rift between us because I feel that the end is inevitable because who would want to be with a pile of trash and he deserves better than the mess that I currently am. Push him away every chance I get to prove that he doesn't want to be with me. I'm being a really healthy individual right now.

#I am being as communicative as possible with him right now #but things will be good for a bit and then I'll find something else to overanalyze #and it's not healthy or fair #and I know that #and I want to stop #I am being a garbage human right now

Pretty sure SO is hiding something from me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#I am a garbage human so I have it coming

And two hours later I am still here. Too late (early?) to take another unless I want to sleep all day. Which, I mean, I do, but that’s not practical

Okay, Ambien. You can kick in anytime now

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