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@rilesmatthewz
RILEY ✉️ MAYA
MAYA: You know, cupcake, if you weren't so adorable some people might find texts like these kind of annoying.
MAYA: Especially because you have the weirdest parents known to man since it's basically statistically confirmed that their Disney romance shouldn't actually be an attainable reality for anyone.
MAYA: I got a C+ on last weeks History test, so I wouldn't worry so much, Riles.
RILEY: Is that your way of saying that I'm annoying but that I'm cute which cancels out the annoyingness because I can be more than okay with that.
RILEY: THEY GIVE SUCH REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS. Except apparently not, because Auggie and Ava are STILL going strong. So maybe they just skipped a generation and that generation is ME.
RILEY: I still attest that you gave a perfectly colorful and suitable answer to the open-ended response and you therefore should have AT LEAST gotten a B-minus if not a B-plus. It was SO CREATIVE.
RILEY ✉️ MAYA
MAYA: I STILL CENSOR MYSELF IN YOUR PRESENCE SINCE IT'S HARD TO REMEMBER YOU'RE NOT STILL TWELVE.
MAYA: It barely counts when you're the one making up all of the material and writing the tests, sweetie.
MAYA: And honestly, when's the last time you didn't get an A on something anyway?
RILEY: I AM SO VERY MATURE FOR MY AGE??????? HOW DARE YOU
RILEY: It still counts, JUST ASK MY DAD. He makes up tons of stuff and writes all the tests himself, and it still MEGA COUNTS.
RILEY: And my mom is Topanga. The answer is never.
RILEY: Actually, the answer is March 6, 2013 but we don't talk about that!!!!!!!!!!!
RILEY ✉️ MAYA
MAYA: Because the language in my head isn't PG-13 Riley approved.
MAYA: So you mean you've made it up all yourself and then restudied it again later?
RILEY: IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVEN'T HEARD IT BEFORE.
RILEY: That's the way it has to be done, Maya. That's the way this works. You can't be upset with me for being properly educated!
RILEY: If there was a test, I would get an A, and I think that's very important.
INSTAGRAM → new photo from @SMILEYRILEY
It’s tea! Totally just tea!!!!!!!!!! Not even the caffeinated kind because it’s almost 9pm and that’d be a BAD IDEA. #MonaLisasAndMadHatters.
195 LIKES, 3 COMMENTS
READ ALL COMMENTS
RILEY ✉️ MAYA
MAYA: It'd actually be really bad if you could actually read my mind.
MAYA: Globally? You've barely been out of NYC, what do you know about global anythings?
RILEY: Why? Is it about me? Is it bad? Did I have something in my teeth and you didn't tell me and now you're just harping on it in your head because I'm pretty sure we're supposed to tell each other these things!!
RILEY: A LOT. I've done my research, specifically in BFF studies.
there’s a sound in my heart, and it rings for you only. so why don’t you hear it?
RILEY ✉️ MAYA
MAYA: [saves the voice message]
MAYA: I have nothing to say to you.
MAYA: But yes, I did.
RILEY: You don't have to say anything, we have the power of sheer, beautiful bestie telepathy.
RILEY: BFFSP, if you will.
RILEY: And you're the most BFF of all the BFFs. Not just for me, either! We are talking GLOBALLY here.
RILEY ✉️ MAYA
MAYA: That doesn't work over text!!!
MAYA: YOU'RE SO WEIRD I CAN'T EVEN COMPREHEND HOW YOU HAVE A WORKING BRAIN IN THAT HUGE HEAD OF YOURS.
MAYA: They were mad, but I threatened to steal all the snacks out of their lunch boxes if they were mean to you.
RILEY: [VOICE MESSAGE ATTACHED DOING THE 'I CAN'T HEAR YOU' DITTY]
RILEY: You were saying?!
RILEY: YOU LOVE ME SO MUCH YOU WOULD BE SO BORED WITHOUT ME IT'S OKAY TO ADMIT IT I OBVIOUSLY WON'T SCREENCAP THESE TEXTS TO LOOK BACK ON OR ANYTHING.
RILEY: Did you really?
RILEY: That sounds very MAYA of course you did.
RILEY ✉️ MAYA
MAYA: Yeah but one of eye strain.
MAYA: That was my intention, yep, wooing you with the remembrance of your snot trails on my shirt.
MAYA: Nah, still your fault, Riles. Can't convince me otherwise, but hey, I still stuck with you even when everyone else was mad at you.
RILEY: In your words, I can't hear you, bah-duh-duh-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah!
RILEY: SUCH A CHARMER, I'M ALL SWOOOOOOOONY.
RILEY: I don't think anyone was actually mad at me for that? Were they? I'M BAD AT REALIZING THESE THINGS WHEN THEY'RE HAPPENING.
RILEY: You're the most important one, though, so I think I made it through okay.
RILEY ✉️ MAYA
MAYA: Well yeah, sure, I cried a tear from starring at the crap for so many hours.
MAYA: I did wash it, but all I can see when I look at it is where your snot used to be.
MAYA: Still mad at you for that, by the way, since they were banned in like so many stores after that.
RILEY: A TEAR IS A TEAR.
RILEY: There's something strangely adorably flattering about you remembering the exact location on your shirt.
RILEY: And THAT had nothing to do with me. They were going to get rid of them no matter what because THEY got that it was a bad thing for kids to be able to grab just as much as I did.
RILEY ✉️ MAYA
MAYA: Riles, I'd like to think you know me well enough to know that I think that part of that movie was the stupidest most douchey thing ever.
MAYA: Also, I still refuse to wear that snotted shirt, which is a great loss to my Rolling Stones shirt collection.
[a few minutes later]
MAYA: Keep holding on, I was just trying to freak you out, which clearly worked.
RILEY: I know you well enough to know that you thought every single part of that movie was stupid EVEN IF I SAW THE TEAR IN YOUR EYE AT THE END.
RILEY: Just the one. Singular. But it was still there.
RILEY: All you have to do is WASH IT! It's not like we haven't shared germs before. It's a rite of passage.
[a few minutes later]
RILEY: Good. The last thing we need is another candy cigarette incident. Definitely one of my darker, more dramatic days.
RILEY ✉️ MAYA
RILEY: INCOMING!!!!!
RILEY: RILEY LECTURE.
RILEY: PLEASE TELL ME THAT'S A METAPHOR.
RILEY: AND THAT YOU'VE JUST BEEN WATCHING THAT SAD, SAD, SAD CANCER MOVIE WITH ME FOR NO APPARENT REASON OTHER THAN NOT WANTING ME TO USE YOUR ROLLING STONES SHIRT AS A TISSUE. AGAIN.
RILEY: It is not lit. I'm holding onto hope.
RILEY: Allow me five seconds to keep holding onto my hope.
“i didn’t know i was lonely til i saw your face”