Collateral Fury @rileylott - Tumblr Blog

WHY?

I want you to understand one one thing,you are perfect.With all your imperfections,mistakes,flaws.If I,can see you as this.....why cant you,why won’t you?Is it that hard?If it is.......Let me in..Let me be........Superman....I am not here for saving...am here to withstand cryptonite in your favour.Let me be ......Batman.Am not here to shine some shitty light,am here to loose everything that means the world to me even if it means family for you........Let me be Joker.Am not here to loose credibility.Am here to kill if it puts a real smile on your face........Let me be me,because,I am amazing.I am human.I will be your saving grace each time until you scribble these words on the walls you've put up in your soul;

‘Dear me,I have found my god and the precise meaning of life.’

’Dear me,Fuck you,I hate you but....am glad you came this far....I am proud of you.’

’Dear me,you are just fucking amazing.’

’Dear me,I’m sorry I doubted you,I was wrong’

’Dear me,you are at your peek.Keep being the shit!’

I want you,to be you,amazing,selfless even though you are not,(and its human nature),I want you to be happy.....and if it means sacrificing my happiness for your sake,Fine.Let me be sad eternally.Smile.Its all I want.Im here for you.Forever and always.

Happy new Year.

Ps* This is our Year.

#happynewyear #youareamasterpiece #picasso

'The one'

---The One is a 2001 American science fiction-martial arts film written and directed by James Wong and starring Jet Li, Delroy Lindo, Jason Statham and Carla Gugino ---

Sometimes it's hard to find myself.Hard to know the truth of it all.Hard figure out whether my mind is numb,my heart is cold or my soul is dumb,irrespectively as it's just as confusing.

Sometimes I want to scream 'FUCK YOU' on a 20 storey building as I piss on those so called memories we virtually created in our 'own' fantasy world of sunsets and rainbows on a stormy but yet beautiful evening.But how can I?

I havent been as alive,as pure.But emphasis on the 'own' because I feel like I belong now.This wasn't a mere light at the end of the tunnel but rather that crack on the wall along the rail tracks that lead to my saving grace,and,I decided to use it as a detour and see where it leads me.And I just might have stumbled upon an impromptu heaven I never knew existed.

And am staying*

So as I still get to discover these human unworldly pleasures here,all I ask is,let it burn in lustful treasures,let me drown in this forbidden fountain,let us stay imperfect. I love it.

Funk you very much.

♥️

Fall

/fɔːl/

1.Be captured or defeated.

"their mountain strongholds fell to enemy attack"

Similar:surrender,yield

---Sometimes am jealous. Jealous of how this version of me has made you so happy that sometimes I have to question whether it's actually me or there is,in fact,someone else I know nothing of yet.I wish I could be you for a moment so I could know what it feels like to have me,to love me the way you do,to be excited at the thought of seeing me,touching me,holding me and kissing me,waiting up for me,being anxious to get home.Am so jealous of the way you seem so happy around me,because I want to be as happy with myself.

It feels like I am whole with you,who still is when you are not around,but deep down are those broken pieces stuck together with paper glue ready to fall down again at the slightest touch.

I wish I could feel like you,Care as much as you do,

I wish I was as human.💔---

brandonjordanpics

Void

adjective

1.not valid or legally binding:“the contract was void"synonyms:invalid, null, ineffective, nonviable, useless, … moreantonyms:valid

2.completely empty:“void spaces surround the tanks"synonyms:empty, vacant, blank, bare, clear, … moreantonyms:full

noun

1.a completely empty space:"the black void of space"synonyms:vacuum, emptiness, nothingness, nullity, blankness, … more

2.(in bridge and whist) a suit in which a player is dealt no cards

5:47pm - Sunset

I hadn’t noticed them walk by right across me headed to the washroom…I was busy with listening to Kelvin’s daily rant of how he encountered a different girl just the other day heading home and successfully got her number.

"You didn’t even give me enough time to win you back over.I mean why no…” “Am sorry but I don’t know how it happened but I just like him.He makes me feel alive,makes me feel like I could be me again”

Before I even realized I was Eve’s dropping on a supposed break up between my English teacher and my soon to be girlfriend..and actually,it felt kindar good.I peeped right through the corner that headed to the girls washroom,just down the hallway full of lockers.He looked very angry,like he could punch a tree and its leaves would fall off like it was summer.I could tell from his tone and how fast his foot was tapping the ground as her stared at locker 104,where he first had slipped his letter to Cheryl.

“Martin am sorry but I have to be with him.I love him.” “Why?Because I need you more than you need me!Don’t you get that!Huh?” Her sudden outburst of sorrow made me feel sorry for her,but I couldn’t help her,because he’d know it was me,and that definitely was not the plan.I could hear her run back to class,and waited till he’d left too then rushed to comfort my princess’ dismantled feels.She was on her seat in class,last row,two seats from the back right next to the window,evening sun glaring at her long black hair as she stared outside as the wind blew across the pine fence.Somehow,for a while there,I hesitated and felt some thick dry air make its way down my throat.But she was mine now.Mine forever. “Cheryl,are you OK?"I asked as I walked towards her,pulled a seat, directly faced her as she looked up. with her beautiful round eyes with ruined mascara,her lipstick all across her cheeks,her eyes red and her nose running.I pulled out a tissue and gave it to her.The look she gave me wasn’t ordinarily pleasing,or rather not what I was expecting or seen before.I mean I was the hero here so… ”Riley,I don’t think I can do this.I met someone.“ "Wait,What the fuck?”

#thatsallshewrote

dear future me,

I want you to understand something that you will have a hard time believing or rather admitting to...you are TROUBLE.I know they say the older you get the wiser you become...but can we hold that thought for a moment and review on what your life is first person.You dont go to school.You dont believe in religion.You dont believe in death or an afterlife.You never wanted to be judged,told what to do or work for any human as that is more like(IF not) lowering your ego for someone who society terms to be much smarter than you to be you so called boss.You fucking hate rules(In general).You gamble for a living just to prove to yourself that the odds should always be in your favor...and I stress on should because....what else do you believe in?Apart from yourself?

#thatsallshewrote