stu(dying) stu(died)

[rileyweber]

cristianarivero‌:

“It’s not about life – okay it’s a little about lifestyle.” Cristiana grins and turns a little so she’s facing Riley more but still wrapped around her as they had been. “I just don’t ever want my foundation to be someone else’s. I don’t want someone to be able to take it. Switches don’t exactly make a lot of money so saving and working is basically all I do now. But someday – you mark my words, Riley Weber. Some day, I’ll be standing on my own two feet with everything I need to give me and someone else a life we can be happy with. And they’ll regret thinking I’d be the shallow… lazy, skill-less daughter they apparently think I am. He thinks I’ll come back When I fail and I can’t do it anymore. That’s why the cut me off. So as long as that never happens, I’m okay. Nothing to be sorry about. We weren’t a very warm family.”

“I know you will... You’re the most determined person I know, so whoever that person is, they’ll be really lucky to have you in their life”. She leans in to kiss the corner of her jaw, lets it linger, lets herself soak in the feeling of security that Cristiana brings her, that in the solace and comfort of her small bedroom she feels almost untouchable, and not because of the things Cristiana promises herself she’ll give to someone special, but because she can allow herself to be vulnerable without having to brace herself for a downfall. “Thank you for telling me. You said you wanted to get to know me without the pretenses and I want to get to know you too”.

[rileyweber]

cristianarivero‌:

The moment the questions keep going, Cristiana knows she’ll have to answer them. Riley’s been open. Honest. And Cristiana isn’t afraid to talk about her parents, she just normally doesn’t. She takes a deep breath and shakes her head just a little. “I don’t think so. Or – it wasn’t. I lived with them until I graduated high school. I’d gotten into NYU. And then daddy said he didn’t want to pay for it. He said it was a waste of time and he’d arranged a business deal between our family and another. One that owned the docks where he wanted to do business. He wanted me to marry their dominant son. I said no. And he said if I didn’t care about family then I didn’t need to be part of theirs. They cut me off and that was that. I packed one suitcase and got in a taxi and never looked back.”

“So he wanted to trade your future for an arranged marriage? Sounds very 17th century to me...” Parents disappoint you; they had both learned it the hard way to two different branches of traditionalism. They might not share the same trauma, but they share experiences. She has to wonder if that’s were Cristiana’s patience comes from. “I’m sorry, Cris... I can’t imagine what its like to have such a sudden change of lifestyle. I guess it makes sense why you work yourself to exhaustion. You’ve never seen them again, at all?”

[rileyweber]

cristianarivero‌:

“Of course,” Cristiana answers quietly, not expecting the question she gets. She might have been less willing had she known. But it’s there now, disrupting the quiet peace of what she’d gotten used to with Riley. She smiles softly, something that says none of this matters and trails her fingers through the back of Riley’s hair. “I haven’t seen them in five years. Give or take. There’s not much to know. Controlling, like yours. Only everything’s about business with them.”

The answer is vague, but somewhat expected. Cristiana never brings up her parents in the first place; she should’ve assumed it wasn’t the kind of conversation she was all that excited to have. “What do you mean by business? Was it a money’s-more-important type of thing?” She trails her fingertips slowly up and down Cristiana’s arm, though she’s not drawn back by hesitation, but by trying to choose her questions carefully. “Was it all about your mark?”

[rileyweber]

@cristianarivero

“Can I ask you something?” She breathes softly against the crook of Cristiana’s neck before she looks up at her with a certain kind of devotion that wasn’t there before; like the closeness is just what she wants but its never enough. “What about you and your family? What are they like? You never talk about them... And you know all about my crazy, controlling parents”. 

[rileyweber]

aidanweber‌:

I’m sorry I’ve been taking it out on you. And… maybe a lot of other people. I’m glad you’re here with me, Riley.

Yeah, me too. No hard feelings.

[rileyweber]

aidanweber‌:

Then Cristiana’s place it is.

I’m sorry about what happened with your submissive.

[rileyweber]

aidanweber‌:

This world’s gone to shit. I won’t bother you about texting me anymore, and I’ll work on the controlling thing, I promise. Now answer me this and I’ll believe you because I think she is, but… she’s taking care of you, right? You’re good with her?

Yeah. She’s... kind, and patient, and she has a big heart. She’s not a dominant either and I feel safe when I’m around her.

[rileyweber]

aidanweber‌:

And they had the audacity to send you away. It wasn’t an excuse, Riley… it wasn’t you disobeying your Dominant. You know that, right? He was– he should be behind bars. 

Well, he’s not, okay? And I’m here, so what I know doesn’t matter because I just want to move on. So if you’re not going to let me protest, can you please drop me off at Cristiana’s now?

[rileyweber]

aidanweber‌:

Riley…. I’m so, so sorry. I don’t– did he try to get you back after you left him? Did you tell anyone?

Do you wanna know what mom and dad told me when I told them? That I was crazy, that I was exaggerating, that leaving him was just an excuse to try this new “lifestyle” with my “liberal” friends, that I should listen to my dominant, that I MUST’VE done something wrong and that I probably deserved it. So I didn’t tell them he stalked me until my senior year, until I filed a restraining order that took months to get through because the cops were skeptical.

[rileyweber]

aidanweber‌:

…Yes. And I won’t hold you hostage or force you to tell me anything you don’t want me to know, but I want to plead my case on the way. You know I had someone before. A very important someone. It wasn’t just a claim. I loved her more than anything. I wasn’t over protective or controlling. The day all of that ended, I was called to handle a protest gone violent. My first and only arrest that day was her. I can’t help but think… maybe if I was a little more controlling, more attentive, then none of that wouldn’t have happened. I guess you’re taking the brunt of that now. Seeing you, someone I love, again, at a protest is terrifying. Knowing my sister is a submissive and a fierce, force of a woman in this political climate is terrifying. But what’s even more terrifying, is thinking that I’ve been making you feel like this since you got here. I don’t want to be a monster. Not to you. Maybe I can deal with being an ass like mom and dad if it means keeping you safe, but I can’t deal with being like someone who once made you feel like the opposite. Please, Riley… talk to me. Help me to understand so I can do better. So I can help. Please.

... When I was in my sophomore year of college I met this guy, his name was Tristan but everyone called him Mr. Hadley because he was the TA in my Creative Writing class. He was a dominant and he was really nice, the kind of guy who kind of inspires trust. We started dating, steadily like three months later, and our parents loved him. He was a traditionalist and believed all the crap they believed in; I guess I thought it was normal to hear someone talk about dominating like a way to assert power over someone. Who knows, I thought I loved him and we had sex... A lot. We did scenes, a lot. At first it was all fun and games, the first few months, and then he started acting weird. He would get jealous of anyone I talked to, he would force me to tell him where I was going and who I was with, he’d forbid me from hanging out with my friends and force me to stay home with him. 

One of those days when I missed a birthday party because he wanted to stay home and... Well, he had his hands around my neck and it was fine -- at first -- but then it wasn’t. Because he squeezed harder, and harder and I begged him to stop. I begged him to stop squeezing and to get off me, I called the safe word four times before I just... Passed out. When I woke up minutes later he was still there, naked and having a drink in bed, obviously after getting his rocks off, telling me I was disobedient, and that he was teaching me a lesson. I left him the next morning.

[rileyweber]

aidanweber‌:

The texting me if you’re not coming home at night is so I know who I have to murder if you disappear, not so I can judge you or tell you that you can’t do something. Riley… please help me understand. You’re… crying. I just want you safe. That’s all. But I obviously touched something I shouldn’t have. I’ve never seen you like this before.

There’s nothing to understand. Can you just... drop me off at Cristiana’s?

[rileyweber]

aidanweber‌:

But you are looking back at it. You’re doing it right now. Every time I– …you get like this. You not texting me so I know you’re safe… all of that is because of something that happened at school, isn’t it?

I don’t text you because you don’t have to know where I am all the god damn time, Aidan. I want to have a life without someone having a grip on my decisions. It has nothing to do with Boston. 

[rileyweber]

aidanweber‌:

No, you don’t get to say something like that then shut down. Is that why you’re doing this? Someone was controlling you at school? It can’t be mom and dad ‘cause there’s no way you’d put up with that long distance. 

It doesn’t matter, okay? It doesn’t matter anymore. That part of my life is over and I want to bury it in the past and never look back. Just forget about it. I’ll get in the car.

[rileyweber]

aidanweber‌:

I’ll deal with it if it means I won’t ever be called to arrest you. What do you mean you were unsafe in Boston? 

You’re unbelievable. 

[rileyweber]

aidanweber‌:

No, I’m not your keeper, but I seem to be the only one between us who thinks even a single step beyond a situation. You’re making yourself a target to everyone right now. Police, dominants, traditional submissives… you are not safe, despite what the organizers of this “peaceful” protest would have you believe. It’s not worth it. You’re not participating in this. Please don’t make me pick you up and carry you to the car because that’s how serious I am right now. 

You know what? Suit yourself, but learn to live with the fact that you are just like our parents. If I wanted to be controlled I would’ve stayed in Boston, where i was actually unsafe, so screw you.

[rileyweber]

aidanweber‌:

Yeah, for now. With everything going on right now- what the hell are you thinking? No. You aren’t. My sister isn’t going to be protesting anything. Get in the car and we’re going to talk about this. I’m not going to say it again. We have to leave.

You’re not my keeper! You’re not my mom! You don’t get to tell me what to do, I don’t care if you think you’re the big bad cop who gets to do whatever she wants. You’re not forcing me to do anything, Aidan!

[rileyweber]

aidanweber‌:

@rileyweber​

Riley… get in the car. Now. 

No, i’m not getting in the car. I don’t even know what you’re doing here, Aidan. This is a peaceful protest.