❝ well, i’ve noticed. ❞ he says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, but yagami is incredibly observant. thus, he takes pride in this habit, because that, too, is obvious. my pride. even gods have their sins, huh? i imagine most would say it’s wrath, but i have to disagree. i think it’s my virtue. ❝ you’re correct, ryuk. they do serve a purpose, and not everyone is meant to be extraordinary. some people are meant to be average, live average lives, and die average deaths. in the grand scheme of things, a lot of those people you’re talking about are innocents, and those are the people who i’m trying to protect. in the end, it’ll all make senses. until then, ryuk, just sit back and enjoy the show. ❞
an idealist, huh? that’s a first. maybe on the outside, he’s been called as such, but has always been painted more as an optimistic realist. he flips his pillow to the cool side. for a moment, ryuk’s expression is unreadable, and yagami’s own is flat, brow furrowing.
❝ i’m not aiming to make a religion, which i’m sure probably sounds a bit ironic coming from me. a god without a religion is basically unfounded. even men have made religions that have been followed for thousands of years without inevitable proof. before the death note, my opinion on religion with a little complicated. by all accounts, i was a christian … am a christian. my family is, and so i believed in god, even if i had my doubts. proof is hard to come by, and i haven’t seen many miracles. not until the death note. it was your existence that both weakened and strengthened my own religious beliefs. you’re a god, and since i believe in a god, i always figured there has to be an existence of demons. don’t get me wrong, it’s not like i’m thinking there are kitsune and kappa running around, but you get what i mean. ❞
is this even something he can explain? yagami is, for once, finding it difficult to relay the human experience to ryuk. he sighs, considering ryuk’s point. people are limited to adhering to anything that doesn’t directly serve them, and even in that, yagami is no exception. this is all self-serving in its own way, even if he would never admit it. his mouth would not be permitted to say, and he would soon bite it off than reveal how deep ego runs.
if it weren’t self-serving, he wouldn’t strive for greatness; for more than greatness —— for godhood. if it were completely selfless, perhaps he would be more willing to show his face. even his lack of revelation that is in self-preservation, and ultimately, yagami is a survivor. the predators always are.
❝ people cheat religion all the time, and that’s exactly why i’m not trying to make a religion. people cannot, and will not, cheat divine justice —— my justice. that is one thing they cannot pass over with a weekly visit to the chapel or shrine. that’s not how it works anymore. that’s already starting to change. ❞
the next question poses a bit more calculated to answer, leaving a momentary pause. if ryuk is concerned, it is unfounded to yagami (for now). lips purse, finally feeling confident in his answer.
❝ correct again; i am alone. that’s actually my strength, not my weakness. the more people involved, the more risk i take. people are prone to talking, and can hardly be trusted to really keep a secret. that’s just how most of us are. curiosity is deadly to humans. ❞ he exhales, swallowing the lump in his throat. the apparition is more serious tonight, or perhaps more bored than usual. ❝ if i fail, ryuk, i only have myself to blame. ❞
It’s nice to talk like this, to exchange thoughts with someone this non-trivial. Ryuk struggles to remember the last time he had this much fun. Every word that escapes Light’s mouth is a product of thorough calculations, and he makes perfect sense. Funnily enough, it is largely a human trait. Gods rarely justify what they say or do. By natural order, they are granted the right not to do it, and they abuse this right more often than not. Light has a reason for everything, perhaps because he needs to explain it to himself first and foremost. Just by looking at the kid’s room for the first time Ryuk understood everything about his way of thinking. It’s no wonder Light is the best student in Japan.
Human beliefs concerning gods are always a topic of interest to Ryuk, who takes strange amusement in looking at all the colorful effigies and reading all the catechisms that almost never correspond with reality.
“What Christians believe in we call the Creator, and it might just be more than a god. It could be simply a force that makes things come together. The Creator’s identity is hidden even from us, and we make no discussion about it. It sows unnecessary contradiction. We know our purpose, and it’s enough for us. I never understood why it’s not enough for humans.”
Perhaps humanity has a purpose to destroy their own kin. It might be absolutely legit, so Ryuk is not in a hurry to judge. Same blame could be laid on a plant for undermining a house’s foundation. Simply doing their job, humans exist as an endlessly churning mass of bodies and souls. There is a morbid beauty in it, Ryuk thinks. Death is stagnant, humanity is dynamic. It is a wonder he and Light can find a common angle of vision at all, and yet it’s happened.
“As for other powers beyond your perception, they do exist. Maybe not strictly in the form humanity imagines them, but they do. Some of them are my friends. Among all the creatures, it’s the human I’m being close to for the first time. Not physically, I mean. I like looking inside your head, as you allow me to do it.”
Of course, Light can just as easily shut himself off. Sometimes Ryuk wonders what his motivation not to is. Does he like sharing it with someone who he knows will never spill? Then the boy is lonely, after all. It is neither bad nor good in Ryuk’s eyes. Some things are meant to exist in solitude.
“You’re right. Religion has too many logical leeways for human to escape through. If you want your mechanism to run smoothly, don’t add unnecessary details. Real gods do not require worship.”
Those that did were either lesser beings or simple frauds. Ryuk knows not what spirit tricked the very first humans into thinking that the huge mechanism of the universe would stop if they didn’t kill a goat on a certain day, but he has to admit it was a pretty neat trick. Just look at humans now, so many centuries, and the world still is full of temples, and even Light’s family respect traditions.
But Light is different from them.
“You don’t seem like the kind of guy who can let something get out of his sight. Your focus is flexible, you see both the bigger picture and the details. Unless there’s some fatal unobservable flaw in your system, it should work.”
Ryuk mimicks Light and lays down to face him at his level.
“What will you do if you get caught, though?”
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