the other day
the other day i woke up at 3:30 in the afternoon and i felt like shit but I still needed to do my morning routine, so I set to making coffee in my kitchen, my favorite ritual of the day, and I noticed the light coming in. we have on window in the kitchen, facing directly west, and so this window provides exactly nothing when I do my morning routine in the morning- there’s no light yet. but this afternoon, I was there at just the right time and the light fell just right across my stove and my hands while I made my coffee and it was warm and soft and right. it was four in the afternoon but this, this was the morning light people write about, the morning light i see on every aesthetic blog, the morning light ive heard about and always so badly wanted to feel. this was the other day and since then I haven't slept past 9 in the morning, but i remember that moment in the light and everything it was. it was being in the right place when I felt I had messed up, it was something beautiful in a day that was unremarkable, it was a smile that I wore for hours after the sun had set. and I meant to sit down and write all this out the other day, I tried a couple of times but I was distracted every ten seconds until it didn't feel worth writing about any more. now its 2 am and its dark but I still feel that light. so I finally sat down and chose a profile picture and a header for a blog that I hope no one ever finds but I hope is impressive to the people that do and I wrote this.
2/1/21