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@rising-black-sun
what if i started using this blog again
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When the Truth Comes Out // rising-black-sun
She knew he was telling the absolute truth, but something about it caught her off guard. All this time, her secrecy was meant to protect him. Not only from hollows stalking around their home, but also from the worry that would come with the knowledge of what was really going on. Worry that was now plaguing him, thanks to her. Why was she so damn stupid? Her gaze stayed fixed on him, turning from apologetic to incredibly guilty. If she were her twin, she’d be bawling her eyes out at this point. She’d only ever wanted to take care of her family, and now it was backfiring in her face. The anguish in her brother’s voice was all her fault. There wasn’t even the weak barrier of a false smile and a pat on her head.
This was her fault.
This was her fault.
This was her fault.
It was the only thought she could hold onto clearly in that moment, and it felt like salt in her wounds. Salt she very well deserved, she noted dryly. But she wasn’t about to break down in waterworks over this. She was Kurosaki Karin and she hadn’t cried in just a couple of years shy of a decade. No way could she live with herself if she broke that streak in front of her brother like this. The only choice was to remain tough.
She grabbed his arm, just below the shoulder, as if she could physically grab his attention. She was suddenly imagining him storming into Urahara’s shop, guns blazing and looking for some kind of big-brother vigilante justice. Urahara wasn’t the most sympathetic character, but she hated to think she could bring that on him. “Ichi-nii, this wasn’t Urahara-san’s idea. It was mine.” She took a breath, letting go of his arm and carefully taming the emotions she knew were being given away on her face. “I came to him first. I asked him for his help. Me.” Her fingers curled into fists at her sides and she bit her lip almost hard enough to draw blood. She had to control herself. It wouldn’t be good if both of them came undone.
“I…I wasn’t strong enough on my own to take care of our family.” She winced at the confession, the overpowering feeling of weakness that she spent so much time fighting beginning to overcome her. “So I talked him into helping me out. Don’t blame him for this, okay? I’m the idiot who got in over my head.” She didn’t know what else to say. Frantically explaining herself didn’t seem to work. The more she spoke, the deeper she dug her own grave. “I know that you gave everything to protect us… I never spoke to you about it because I couldn’t drag you back into the worries that came with that crap. That didn’t make you useless.” She looked away from him, fists uncurling. “I guess I ended up doing you more harm than good, huh?”
Then, the words that had always been the hardest for her to say, “I’m sorry, Ichi-nii.”
Suddenly, he was reminded of the sickeningly helpless feeling he was filled with when he had lost his powers, when no one would tell him what was happening because he wouldn’t have been any help. Feeling like a child that needed to be shielded from the dangers of a world they wouldn’t understand, that would claim them and wouldn’t allow them to escape unscathed. This was a stark reminder of that dark, dark time in his life and it pained him on levels far beyond just physically.
And then, realization.
Was this how she felt?
The thought had never quite crossed his mind until that exact moment and when the realization hit, it floored him. Always striving to protect from forces they couldn’t begin to comprehend, that even he barely understood, he neglected to remember that he wasn’t the only one burdening this ability—this inability to see things that no ordinary human would or ever should see. It wasn’t her fault, nor was it his own—well, the latter part could somewhat be a minor fabrication on his end seeing as he, on more than one occasion, chose to become a Shinigami, therefore choosing to retain his ability to see spirits, which he’d had stripped from him. Though whether or not it was a truly a choice, however, was considerably questionable.
Truth be told, he was fully prepared to shunpo off in the direction of the Urahara Shoten and give the owner of said shop a piece of his mind, but something stopped him. Something more powerful than Aizen, the God himself kept him from stomping off the way he originally planned: her hand on his arm, eyes pleading with him not to go and as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t. He could not.
This was something he found hard to swallow—harder than trying to swallow a mouthful of the bitterest medicine without anything to help it go down. He didn’t want to believe all that he was being told but he was way past the stage of being an ignorant child who ignored an refused to believe the truth he was being dealt. It was a hard truth, but it was the truth and it was difficult to wrap his mind around it. As reluctant as he was to admit, Urahara-san wasn’t an idiot and would have rightfully been unwilling to give into Karin’s wishes to give her something that would put her directly in the mouth of danger—at least, he thought so. It still didn’t sit right with him, as Urahara wasn’t stupid and should have known that Ichigo would have been busting down his door to beat him to a bloody pulp for putting his sister in such danger.
He just didn’t know what to say or do.
“I…I wasn’t strong enough on my own to take care of our family.”
“Karin,” Finally, he spoke and his voice was controlled despite the uncertainty he felt internally. The fact that she felt it was her job to protect their family brought on a painful, almost suffocating tightening in his chest that reminded him of himself. This was no different from him trying to take on more than he could chew as a child because he wanted to protect his family, even when he couldn’t protect himself. She was a lot like him, in so many ways. And it was almost scary.
“You don’t ever need to worry about that kind of stuff, alright? I know I might’ve never told you but you can tell me about anything,” he started, gaze unwavering from the dark one belonging to his sister. Being left in the dark is just as bad as being useless. It was a thought in the back of his mind, but it wasn’t his place to say it because he had no right—he was the one who kept her in the dark all those years.
“I’m sorry, Ichi-nii.”
There it was—the suffocating constriction in his chest again, the moment those words left Karin’s mouth. It prompted him to do something he hadn’t done in he couldn’t remember how long. No words were used as he wrapped an arm around his sister’s smaller frame, pulling her into a somewhat awkward hug that he was sure she wasn’t expecting, but it just felt necessary. There was nothing he felt he could say, so he used actions instead of words and hoped it would be enough.
messing with tensa. >3
The spirit backs away slowly. “Ichigo…”
The youth's burnt sienna gaze followed the retreating form, confusion evident. "What's got you acting so weird, Tensa?"
BREAKS YOUR KOKORO AND SAYS KING-OF-DUST BECAUSE YOU GAISE MI OTP
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//JUST GOES TO SOB IN A CORNER BECAUSE MISSES HER SO MUCH OMFG ;A;
“I’ve honestly lost track of how many Grimmjows there are running around. I think its close to 30 now. And then along came King-Of-Dust with her stupidly talented writing and her like, ability to channel Grimmjow from another dimension or something. I know a lot of people look up to her, not just for her characterization but her writing as well. And she is extraordinarily talented. I love writing with her. So many people just scour the internet looking for those partners that can just K.O. them with feels and she’s done it for me every time. I’ve often found myself saying “OH GOD TOO MANY FEELS.” And she herself is a beautiful artist in so many ways. This fandom was absolutely better to have had her writing in it.”
dontjudgemeforthis
source: firii
outofcharacter--
I couldn't agree with this more. ;~; I honestly feel like my muse is incomplete without hers. Ichi misses his Grimm. </3 And no one could ever take her place.
Original by | ▼ | Edited - Kushinah
I — wow.
Okay, are we forgetting that Ichigo is at the top of his class, thereabouts? That he’s an INCREDIBLY smart young man? That he’s probably one of the smartest charactrs of the series?
Ichigo is not, by any stretch of the imagination, stupid.
So I can only wonder what basis that claim came from.
He’s not the smartest but he’s definitely not stupid. Everyone just thinks he is because he adapts in battle than come up with a plan. VB
Whoever originally submitted this makes me want to stab them in the eye tbh for calling my muse stupid. uvu
tHANK YOU JEN AND MEL THOUGH.
Someone apparently doesn't remember at the beginning where it showed Ichigo's scores were in the top percentage. B|
When the Truth Comes Out // rising-black-sun
He looked sick. She figured he was trying his best to stay level-headed for her, but she could see it in his eyes. She was making him sick. A sudden wave of self-loathing washed over her. She’d never meant for him to know. She had the best of intentions. Of course, the road to hell was paved with those. All she had desired was to have the strength to protect the people she loved. That always seemed to come so naturally to her brother, and sometimes she was jealous of that. It was her turn to protect him when he was powerless. But now she could see how much it hurt him. He was the one she looked up to most, and she’d disappointed him.
She wasn’t sure if it was from blood loss or the look in Ichigo’s eyes, but she felt for a moment like she was going to throw up.
Of course, she hadn’t been prepared for his reply. The question floored her, and she let out a quick breath of air and tensed as if she’d just been punched in the gut. She winced a little in pain from the movement, but tried to cover it up with a neutral mask of a facial expression. Perhaps she could have been killed? The thought never really occurred to her in full. She never planned on getting in over her head, so she never thought that would be an issue. That assumption sure came back to bite her in the ass this time, didn’t it?
If her brother hadn’t come when he did, she really might have died.
“You were trying to be strong after you lost your powers.” She began with a heavy sigh, meeting his gaze with a measure of reluctance. “But I could tell that it hurt you, all right? And I just…didn’t want to rub salt in that wound.” She could feel the creeping isolation she’d felt during those months coming back for her and she had to lower her gaze. Her hands balled into fists and she fought back the unwanted emotions. She’d been so afraid and lonely for so long, but hadn’t wanted to tell anybody. It was her problem, no one else’s. Wasn’t it? Suddenly she wasn’t so sure.
“I didn’t want to burden you. You had enough crap on your plate, Ichi-nii.” She shook her head slowly. “I didn’t want to scare you or make you feel any worse, you idiot.” Her gaze flicked back to his face, even though she was sure her impassive mask was slipping from her face. “You didn’t need that from me.”
It was taking an extensive amount of sheer will power to rein control over his emotions which were threatening to boil over. The very real fact that he could have lost his younger sister had his timing been just a miniscule of an inch off was a near paralyzing fear—he wasn’t sure how he would deal with allowing another beloved member of his family die because of a hollow. No, that absolutely could not happen again. A deep breath was taken in order to steady himself, feeling as if part of his world very nearly ended. He was honestly not sure how he would have taken to the death of his sister by a hollow had his timing been off by even a few moments.
He shuddered at the thought.
Not one word left his mouth as he awaited her explanation; his eyes focused solely on her and they were blazing, a wild fire out of control that no amount of water could put out. He was growing steadily angrier at himself than anything because he was slowly realizing just how much he hurt his family by masking whatever pain he felt behind nothing but the rouse of a fake smile and fake promising of being perfectly fine without his powers when in truth, he suffered. By doing this, he was putting them—his family, his friends even—through suffrage as well. It was a revelation he wasn’t sure he was ready for; not after learning this.
“I didn’t want to burden you. You had enough crap on your plate, Ichi-nii.”
“I didn’t want to scare you or make you feel any worse, you idiot.”
“You didn’t need that from me.”
Her words dug into his heart like a ridged knife; going in slow and twisting just slightly, then being pulled out only to push back in. It hurt. It hurt knowing how much his baby sister was trying to shoulder just because she didn’t want to ‘burden’ him. He felt like a terrible brother; one that his sister couldn’t come to for help if she needed it for fear of scaring him or burdening him.
The mask he normally used, as if second nature like breathing, was gone; lapsing away the moment he found her trying to defend herself from a hollow that clearly outmatched her and was replaced by a grim downward curve of his lips and the heavily guilt-ridden caramelized orbs.
“You should know you can come to me for anything, Karin. Even if I was powerless—even if I couldn’t do anything, you could have come to me. You could never burden me—never.”
There was heavy evidence in his tone that he was fighting to control his emotions, but the sincerity of his words rang clear as a bell—he meant every word he said. He wouldn’t have been able to do much on account of a complete loss of spiritual power, but he would have done something to help. However little, he would have found it and he would have done it.
But there was still something leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.
“Urahara-san… He should have known that thing he gave you wouldn’t be enough to protect you from higher level hollows like the one we just saw. It’s like he was sending you out here to die. There’s no way I can let that slide.”
And he’d be damned if he did. There would be no chance in hell that he wouldn’t say something—or rather beat the shit out of the sneaky asshole for putting his sister at such a high risk. Oh no, he certainly wouldn’t let this go without speaking to the man.
ǝpιsbn to the ᴰᵒʷƞ || rising-black-sun
At first glance, it appeared as though Ichigo wasn’t home at all. Shinji had felt the boy’s spiritual pressure near the location, but it seemed it was only a splattering offset of the immense presence the teenager carried. Major bummer. He was just about to withdraw from the boy’s room when he heard a rustling from the floor below. One of Ichigo’s sisters? His father? It was difficult to say, but—
Shinji gave a slight jump as the door to the invaded room was pushed open to reveal none other than Ichigo himself. It didn’t take long for the new occupant to notice something a bit off about his room— like a blonde head prodding itself in through the open window. Shinji blinked a bit dumbly as Ichigo reacted far too dramatically for such a small thing; at least, in his opinion. This guy couldn’t have possibly not known at all that Shinji was nearby. Oh, please!
“Don’t tell me ya ain’t know I was here at all!” the blonde exclaimed, finding Ichigo’s acknowledgement of his presence tantamount to an invitation inside. He slipped through the open space before sliding the window shut behind him, and found a comfortable perch on whatever object was closest nearby. “Ya really still suck that much at noticin’ things, eh? Ya should get that fixed.”
Though, as he had thought before, it perhaps wasn’t Ichigo’s fault completely. He had overhead someone— probably Kisuke— say it before: The stronger the individual’s spiritual pressure, the less likely they were able to notice other pressures of weaker stature. Now, Shinji was certainly no pushover when it came to his spiritual presence, but he had seen the things Ichigo was capable of. To consider himself weak in comparison to anyone was a tough pill to swallow, but if it had to be someone, he could at least partially accept it, if it was Ichigo.
That, or he just really sucked at sensing spiritual pressure.
“Ahh, man~ That’s gotta hurt!” he commented, giving a moment of attention to the steaming stain on the boy’s pants. A long, exaggerated sigh left his lips as he waved a hand, as if issuing Ichigo away. “Go on, then. Get changed outta that crap. I can wait~” A moment later, though, a sharp grin split his face. “‘less a’course you’re shy ‘bout showin’ some skin in front’a me. Promise I won’t look~”
Okay, maybe his reaction was a little over dramatic but seriously he was pretty sure it was at least somewhat justified by the sudden appearance of a certain Visored he hadn’t seen in months. And that certain Visored poking his head into his window was not what he was expecting to see when he opened the door to his room. Oh yes, his reaction was indeed justified.
“Shut up, s’not like it’s just something I can fix because I want to.” Perhaps that was a bit of a lie—or rather, he just really didn’t know. It wasn’t as if he really tried to train himself to detect spiritual pressure; now, he kinda wished he had because the searing hot tea seeping into the fabric of his pants and running down his leg hurt like a bitch. The cup that he once held carefully in his hand was now shattered, pieces scattered across the floor, as was the remnants of his tea. Jasmine tea sweetened with honey and a hint of lemon; his favorite. What a waste.
A scowl was cast in the blonde’s direction, which was now further into his room and was now seated in his room. When had he suddenly moved from the window? The scowl on his face was only momentary as pain registered and soon it was marring his expression, twisting it into a pained grimace—the tea was hot, okay?
“Fuck you, I’m not shy.”
A growl was his reply as removed the wet, hot fabric from his legs and tossed the soiled cloth into the hamper in his room. Standing in his boxers and the top part of his school uniform, he realized he could really use a shower now to wash the tea from his skin, else the residue make his skin sticky; he didn’t exactly find that appealing. That, and he was planning on taking a shower that night—might as well get it over with now, right?
“Look, just… Stay. I’m gonna take a shower and wash this shit off. So just wait here.”
Lucky that indeed, his family was out of the house, he merely walked out of his room in his shirt and boxers with a fresh change of clothes in hand. The shower was quick and he was out in record time, unwilling to leave a certain taichou alone in his room for entirely too long. When he returned, he was clean and tea-free… Now all he had left was to clean up the mess of a broken tea cup and the sticky mess the spilled tea undoubtedly made. A side trip was made to retrieve the broom and a mop and when he returned to his room, he could only hope it was in the same shape it was when he left.
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this is what happens on skype okay?
maddie(kouhai<3) is me and she says we look identical.
so my question to you--
DO WE? SKDJFHBRFE.
EDIT: OH AND YES THAT IS APPARENTLY MY RAT ON HER SHOULDER LOL
itssextabitch
"Grimmjow."
The sudden spike in spiritual pressure was unmistakable; only belonging to one individual. While it was indeed fact that his ability at sensing spiritual pressure wasn't exactly on key, this certain arrancar's spiritual pressure was strong--how could he not notice it?
"The hell are you doing here?"
Ichigo Kurosaki, Dedicated to: RollingDay ♥