SURGICAL WASTE REPO PARTY

hollow, the poetry of life above… Char | 27 / bi / male Gothy Rivethead Nightlife, Psychedelia, Kink, Melon Beastars, Nivek Ogre …howl my envy for the neighbor’s dog.

[rivetgoth]

Reminder: My debut novel, WAXED AND FEATHERED, is out now!

Synopsis:

Fresno, California, 2089. The Marcello Candy Company is a confectionary empire that has made a fortune selling heavily addictive pharmaceutical sweets to the public. As the company’s youngest heirs, Vittoria and Giovanni Marcello have had the luxury of indulging in endless fleeting fancies while riding comfortably on the coattails of their family’s success. However, when their knack for being nothing but unambitious failures poses too great a risk of tarnishing the Marcello name during a pivotal moment for the company, the siblings find themselves disinherited, disowned, and evicted. Directionless and lacking basic survival skills, what ensues are strange, desperate, fantastic, frightening, and salacious journeys into the underbelly of the city that their family has made a fortune exploiting.

You will probably like it if you enjoy Repo! the Genetic Opera (2008), Rock & Rule (1983), Phantom of the Paradise (1974), or 19th century American proto-science fiction.

Author is an Arab-American, transgender man. The story is at least partially informed by this information. It's informed even more by the fact that he listens to a lot of kick ass music. 🦇

Buy it HERE. 🖤

[rivetgoth]

And you know what they say might hurt you.

[arroyorill-deactivated20220404]

Sketch Restaurant London

[rivetgoth]

Can I kick a hornet’s nest

Posts like this having over 200,000 notes is exactly what I mean about not relating to writing communities online because the vast majority of people appear to harbor this weird self-deprecating attitude that nearly actively discourages any attempt at developing a work ethic or trying to improve your skills or even being, like, proud of your artwork. Like I understand it’s a joke I’m not incapable of comprehending that this is supposed to be humorous but surely we can aim higher than describing your work as “shit” & being like “at least I did the bare minimum” & everyone being like “haha yes, that’s the writer experience! hating your art and saying it sucks!!” Like it doesn’t even sound like you guys are having fun.

[rivetgoth]

And you know what they say might hurt you.

[ps1]

via

[rivetgoth]

This goes crazy omfgggg

[petitcho]

[mokzo]

[rivetgoth]

He was literally freaking the fuck out acting like we were torturing him violently because we moved his favorite cat tree to an objectively better spot. No trust whatsoever.

[rivetgoth]

Hello! I've followed you for a lil while and ik you've mentioned how moving to LA really changed your life.

I've recently been thinking about moving from where I live to NYC because I really want to be in a much bigger city with more queer artistic folks (and I do a lot of comedy and nyc would have more access for it).

I've just been really scared to make the leap and worried I won't be able to handle it. Was there anything that helped you just go for it? Thank you!

Omg! I love this ask thank you for reaching out and asking 🖤

Obviously everyone’s life is different so it’s a bit hard to give definitive advice, but my immediate instinct is to very emphatically tell you to go for it LOL! Even beyond the fact that, yes, moving to a big city 100% changed my life for the better in every conceivable way and so I’m very biased towards encouraging others to do the same if they feel the calling, I’m also just on a larger level a firm believer that it’s better to risk the pain of regretting an action than regretting a lack of action. Like, it’s better to know you tried than to never try and die wondering, in any context.

As for my thoughts more specifically re: moving to the city, I think for me I just felt so unbelievably suffocated in the place I lived. I was so unhappy and I just earnestly could not picture a future for myself at all. I felt like I was dying. Moving to the city felt like the equivalent of, like, reaching for a branch over a massive chasm. Like, it was that or nothing, you know. Trying to picture a future in the small town I had grown up in was legitimately impossible and I wanted to start somewhere new where I could express myself as myself, nobody knew me, I was able to access the stuff I loved — live music, loud music, social spaces dedicated to my interests, museums, record stores, cool stores in general, interesting restaurants, etc etc.

I was really lucky that I applied for and got into a university in LA (I was a transfer from community college), which made the move easier since there was a more material “purpose” I guess, but it was really about getting to the city for me. I’m in a ton of debt I’ll probably be in for most of my life and I genuinely do not regret that at all, it was so so so worth it in exchange for having everything in my life. I consider myself so extremely lucky to have a social scene I love, a partner I love, even a job I really like at this point, the chance to go out to events and see live music and live as myself, the ability to write and share my art with others. I never ever try to take that for granted.

It definitely required a LOT of learning moments and growth. I had to work very hard to overcome years of social anxiety and discomfort around other people. I spent a year in therapy with a really good therapist, I read a lot about DBT which I personally found super useful in processing and articulating, and I basically lived completely alone in a 1-person dorm room for a year without knowing ANYBODY. I didn’t make any friends in college and I didn’t really keep any friends from the town I’d grown up. I just went out to shows and clubs when I could (I couldn’t even drive, so this was all through taking public transit lol) and actively worked to connect with people when I could, going out to any event I was invited to and agreeing to hang out with pretty much anyone at least once (which is how I met Angel!! we were mutuals on here first and we happened to live nearby so we met up irl!!). Lots of time alone, lots of doing things that massively disappointed my family, all in the name of the never-ending project of discovering myself and learning to live my best and happiest life. And I did a lot of psychedelics; that helped too.

At the end of the day there is always the possibility that it doesn’t work out, but the way I see it, at least then you know. Having lived here since 2018 now I have absolutely seen some people come and go—They move to the city and realize they hate it and it’s not worth it at all and leave lol, either moving elsewhere or moving back home altogether. But that doesn’t need to be viewed as a failure or a waste of time or anything. In the process you still learn about yourself, you add to the narrative of your life, and you’ve expanded your perspective of the world in general.

[rivetgoth]

I didn’t wanna include pictures of myself on my post about men’s fashion because it feels really arrogant but like, I will be egotistical enough to say that I DO think I have really good style, and specifically this is what I mean when I talk about how masculine style does not have to be boring. I do not consider myself fem at all and I only loosely consider myself GNC in casual conversation relative to mainstream normative views of gender presentation. Generally speaking I view myself as pretty masculine all things considered, even in glitter and makeup I think my outfits are generally pretty masculine, & I have worked quite hard to pass as a man, my goal was always to pass as a man, but I still fit like, absolutely none of the passing advice people give and it drives me nuts because the style I have cultivated is directly drawing inspiration from men’s alternative fashion!

[happydayhappytime]

gorgeous details on a car i saw today

[rivetgoth]

Tguy passing advice sucks so bad because so many white trans men just cannot imagine a world where style exists outside of a binary between, like, “high femme” and “the most boring greyscale softmasc teenage boy in a t-shirt and jeans ever conceived.” It makes me feel crazy. I mean obviously yes if you’re purely worried about immediate safety sometimes being as boring as possible is necessary but that’s not unique to transmasculinity. But these guys will act like dressing in anything beyond the same lame straight cut jeans grey black navy blue colors no piercings no jewelry no style whatsoever to speak of is the literal only option if you want to be read as a man in society and that just is objectively not the case at all. And even unfortunately the guys who try to argue against this advice will slip into this presumption than the only alternative is “trans men can dress how they want if they want to dress feminine that’s valid.” And like of course this is true but like, there’s never any room for “Good Style That Doesn’t Suck But Isn’t Overly Feminine / Will Still Pass As Male” in the discussion lmao. Just saw a trans man really hardcore doubling down on passing advice of this nature by saying “you guys are forgetting that men’s fashion is SUPPOSED to be boring!” Like… is it?? 😭 They like cannot imagine a world where style exists beyond like, normie WASP perceptions of Man and Woman. It’s so unimaginative and to be more damning it’s SO white. There are decades upon decades of diverse fashionable styles that are read as ubiquitously masculine or male & so many subtle things one can do to help with passing while still retaining a sense of self & they don’t even appear to realize that this is possible. Like alternative / non-normative / nonwhite forms of masculine style just do not exist to them at all lol.

[rivetgoth]

I think beyond the aforementioned whiteness it’s sort of a symptom of the fact that most people in general, cis or trans man or woman whatever, do not have very good style and are not very fashionable nor do they care that much. I don’t mean this rudely at all I just mean like genuinely the average person is just kind of wearing whatever and if you asked them they would not claim fashion to be an interest of theirs anyway. And like that’s literally completely fine. But fsr it’s these same people who make Passing Advice their thing and it’s like. Well. There are people who actually enjoy fashion and style you know. There are people who actually find this stuff fun and have thought a lot about the nuances of style in a way that’s significantly more interesting than your “Man Equals Short Haircut Straight Legged Jeans Grey T-shirt No Accessories” view of the world.

[rivetgoth]

This is far above my or most people’s reasonable price range I am not advocating for spending this sort of money NOR am I saying this is the only or best example but like fuck even looking at runway ready men’s designer fashion like Rick Owens’ men’s line, you know. Like that’s what I mean by a lack of interest in fashion. I’m not advocating for every man to wear designer fashion but it’s like, really, there is a whole world out there of men’s fashion that isn’t boring as fuck. TUNE was a Harajuku street fashion magazine focused on men’s fashion and while you have to pay to own issues of it there’s tons and tons of images of it shared across the web (you can even just click each one and see the covers to get a sense of what I mean). But also just like, black men’s street fashion. These are all pretty basic examples tbf but like that should just prove my point more that there is SO MUCH cool fashion and style you can explore and take inspiration from as a man instead of succumbing to “men’s fashion is all boring and gray t-shirts and jeans.” And I mean it’s not a moral failing to be unfashionable or not care about fashion in general but stop acting like caring about style is some impenetrable barrier to being perceived as a man.

[rivetgoth]

Tguy passing advice sucks so bad because so many white trans men just cannot imagine a world where style exists outside of a binary between, like, “high femme” and “the most boring greyscale softmasc teenage boy in a t-shirt and jeans ever conceived.” It makes me feel crazy. I mean obviously yes if you’re purely worried about immediate safety sometimes being as boring as possible is necessary but that’s not unique to transmasculinity. But these guys will act like dressing in anything beyond the same lame straight cut jeans grey black navy blue colors no piercings no jewelry no style whatsoever to speak of is the literal only option if you want to be read as a man in society and that just is objectively not the case at all. And even unfortunately the guys who try to argue against this advice will slip into this presumption than the only alternative is “trans men can dress how they want if they want to dress feminine that’s valid.” And like of course this is true but like, there’s never any room for “Good Style That Doesn’t Suck But Isn’t Overly Feminine / Will Still Pass As Male” in the discussion lmao. Just saw a trans man really hardcore doubling down on passing advice of this nature by saying “you guys are forgetting that men’s fashion is SUPPOSED to be boring!” Like… is it?? 😭 They like cannot imagine a world where style exists beyond like, normie WASP perceptions of Man and Woman. It’s so unimaginative and to be more damning it’s SO white. There are decades upon decades of diverse fashionable styles that are read as ubiquitously masculine or male & so many subtle things one can do to help with passing while still retaining a sense of self & they don’t even appear to realize that this is possible. Like alternative / non-normative / nonwhite forms of masculine style just do not exist to them at all lol.

[rivetgoth]

I think beyond the aforementioned whiteness it’s sort of a symptom of the fact that most people in general, cis or trans man or woman whatever, do not have very good style and are not very fashionable nor do they care that much. I don’t mean this rudely at all I just mean like genuinely the average person is just kind of wearing whatever and if you asked them they would not claim fashion to be an interest of theirs anyway. And like that’s literally completely fine. But fsr it’s these same people who make Passing Advice their thing and it’s like. Well. There are people who actually enjoy fashion and style you know. There are people who actually find this stuff fun and have thought a lot about the nuances of style in a way that’s significantly more interesting than your “Man Equals Short Haircut Straight Legged Jeans Grey T-shirt No Accessories” view of the world.

[rivetgoth]

Tguy passing advice sucks so bad because so many white trans men just cannot imagine a world where style exists outside of a binary between, like, “high femme” and “the most boring greyscale softmasc teenage boy in a t-shirt and jeans ever conceived.” It makes me feel crazy. I mean obviously yes if you’re purely worried about immediate safety sometimes being as boring as possible is necessary but that’s not unique to transmasculinity. But these guys will act like dressing in anything beyond the same lame straight cut jeans grey black navy blue colors no piercings no jewelry no style whatsoever to speak of is the literal only option if you want to be read as a man in society and that just is objectively not the case at all. And even unfortunately the guys who try to argue against this advice will slip into this presumption than the only alternative is “trans men can dress how they want if they want to dress feminine that’s valid.” And like of course this is true but like, there’s never any room for “Good Style That Doesn’t Suck But Isn’t Overly Feminine / Will Still Pass As Male” in the discussion lmao. Just saw a trans man really hardcore doubling down on passing advice of this nature by saying “you guys are forgetting that men’s fashion is SUPPOSED to be boring!” Like… is it?? 😭 They like cannot imagine a world where style exists beyond like, normie WASP perceptions of Man and Woman. It’s so unimaginative and to be more damning it’s SO white. There are decades upon decades of diverse fashionable styles that are read as ubiquitously masculine or male & so many subtle things one can do to help with passing while still retaining a sense of self & they don’t even appear to realize that this is possible. Like alternative / non-normative / nonwhite forms of masculine style just do not exist to them at all lol.

[caiticornia-deactivated20110616]