Hi! I'm River and I write, hence the name. I use he/they pronouns and I'm bisexual :]
The time between my posts definitely, uh, varies. I lose motivation and then it comes back and can stick around for a week and then disappear for five months who knows but I do write!
This is a hub post, as you can probably tell from the title and the fact that it is linked on all of my fics. The way I do this is having multiple masterlists under the 'keep reading' button. If a fandom I have recently written for has over 3 fics or 1 series, then it gets a main masterlist on this page! If it has less than 3 fics, I don't write for it often, or I don't see myself writing for it again, then it goes on my general masterlist. You'll see that the one that is different is Supernatural. This is because Supernatural is how I started this blog so it's got a lot of fics and I just don't want to copy and paste all of that lol
I hope that makes sense. If it doesn't I apologize. Either way, I'm glad you stopped by my blog and hope you enjoy what you find. Have a good day !! :]
Oh also quick DNI list all the basics, no homophobes, transphobes, sexists, racists, maga weirdos, pro israel, support ai, ect.
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Love and Deepspace (4 fics)
Call of Duty (1 series)
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general masterlist (includes Criminal Minds, Star Wars, Harry Potter, Maze Runner, Newsies, and Teen Wolf)
me when im on "x reader tag" looking for fics at 3 am BUT all i find is memes and all the funny posts under the world EXCEPT the fics abt the character :
Word Count: 3.5k
Angst
Poly!141 x omega!reader
Summary: John comes with you to see the omega specialist. When the meeting ends, you have not changed your opinion about having one. Meanwhile, someone is talking about the strings they are pulling behind scenes.
Warnings: Uhh n/a for the most part aside from there probably being plot holes and military inaccuracies, therapy talk?, implied potential and past torture maybe?, idk can't think of anything else
Notes: Oooo this chapter is the best one and there's nothing wrong with it ooo(I'm hypnotizing you because I'm not a fan of this one but it's crucial to the plot)(it probably reads as a filler but I promise it's important).
Made the banner with canva and divider with photopea
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John hadn’t seen much of you these past three days. Since the whole Christopher Stone questioning event, you’ve mostly made yourself scarce.
There wasn’t much he could say about what had happened after the whole thing. Colonel Green walked in, making up a bullshit excuse to take you out so that Stone wouldn’t pick up on the fact that you weren’t supposed to be in there. Then, you left. Not just the room with Stone, but the observation room as well. Green had tried saying something to stop you, but you didn’t even look at him. He followed you out. John had tried to get more information from Green, but he just dismissed him and kept walking away.
That night, John dedicated it to trying to figure out what was going on. He called Laswell, asking as many questions as he could to try and figure out why it mattered to you so much what that asshole thinks about omegas. John is sure you’ve gotten numerous cocky alphas who’ve said the same thing to you, maybe worse. You’re a highly skilled omega in an alpha dominated field, hunting down enemies who also tend to be alphas. Obviously, there was something different about the way Stone said it. You were expecting something else. John could tell. The look on your face wasn’t horror or fear, it was confusion.
Laswell wasn’t able to give him much. She basically just told him everything she had told him the day he signed the papers. He tried to dig into Green’s background, but there was absolutely nothing that could give him any hint as to what happened. He’s just your typical Colonel, nothing special about him. He’s so normal it’s borderline concerning.
After the night had passed, John asked Laswell to figure it out. Pull her strings. She had started to tell him she couldn’t, but John pulled out one of those hundred ‘I owe you’ moments they have between the two of them, which the two rarely do. John knew what he was asking her to do. The strings she’d be pulling were locked behind bars, in hiding, ect. It was illegal, to say the least. However, it was for you, and John would ask her to do a lot worse if he needed to. And she understood that. So, Laswell told him she’d start figuring things out.
John had already had breakfast with the guys. They were off to training, but he couldn’t do that just yet. Instead, he was sitting on the couch, waiting to hear your door open.
Today is supposed to be your first meeting with the new omega specialist. Green had told him to basically just make sure you go. John had wanted to believe that you would go on your own, but on a normal day, you would’ve left your room an hour before any of them were having breakfast. Not only did John have to make sure you went, but he also got an email requesting he show up and take part in conversation for the first few minutes.
As the clock ticked closer and closer to the meeting time, John reluctantly stood up. He did want you to have the choice to do this, but he also wanted you to try this out. It was the only healthy thing Green was having you do.
John walked over to your door, knocking a few times. After a few seconds with no answer, he said your name. It was a few seconds more before he heard the lock click.
“You comin’?” He asked. The door opened.
“Yeah, yeah, let’s go.” You muttered.
John was nearly frozen for a second, because when the door opened, you didn’t have that mask covering your face. Your face was down and you were pulling it up, so it was covered before you looked up at him. But if John had wanted to, he could’ve just lowered his head and gotten a proper view of your face for the first time in a year. And he did want to. However, he couldn’t do that. It wouldn’t be right. He needed to give you your space, as much as he hated it.
You walked forward, heading down the hall, past John and Simon’s offices and past the bathroom. John followed a few feet behind you. You two go through the laundry room, which has a door at the end that connects to the mini gym in the pack house. There is the backdoor, which is the closest door to the other building. The path to the building was very faint, but still able to be seen. The two of you got there in about two minutes, walking through the trees. As you approached it, you noticed another path, which probably led to the actual road on base. After all, the omega specialist had to get here somehow, and she didn’t come by the pack house to get here.
The building was covered in greenery, but that didn’t mean much in terms of it being unused. After all, the pack house had greenery covering the outside walls as well, making it less visible from the sky above. John remembers walking by in the past and seeing the windows covered in dirt. The bench that sat on the patio would’ve been wrapped in vines, bugs crawling over it if you looked close enough. However, as you two walked closer, John noticed the bench was clean. A little wreath hung on the door. The windows were clean, and the one to the left of the door was even open. When he looked at the bay window to the right, he saw decoration inside.
You two walked in and there was immediately a desk. To the immediate right was a door. Right behind the desk on the left was another door, and then another across from it. The rest of this entry room seemed to be set up like a waiting room, which John assumed was for him.
What brought the most attention, however, was the lady sitting at the desk. She stood up as you two walked in, stepping out to the side of the desk.
“Hello. I’m Dr. Anaka Brown.” She said, holding out her hand. John took notice of her shaking your hand first before going for his. As he shook her hand, he took in her appearance. Professional, but still opening. Her smile was soft and opening. She reminded him of his therapist. “Please, follow me.”
She walked closer to the two of you and through the door to the immediate right. You paused, glancing back at the front door. For a second, John expected you to bolt. Then, however, you walked through, following behind Dr. Brown. John walked in right after.
John thought that she looked like his therapist, this room sold that idea. This was the definition of a therapy room. Soft tone, comfortable couch with an arm chair across from it. There were a few paintings on the wall, along with a framed diploma. The floor was carpet, unlike the wooden floor in the entrance. There was even a hamster cage, which John could see had a hamster inside of it, currently eating it’s breakfast.
“Feel free to take a seat, there’s a few things I want to discuss with both of you.” Dr. Brown was already sitting in the arm chair, already holding a pen and pad. John went ahead and walked forward. By the time he sat down, you were still looking around the room, taking it in. Your body was still right next to the door, hand not fully relaxed. John wouldn’t be surprised if you reached up, threw the door open, and ran out. However, you didn’t do that. Instead, you came over and sat on the other side of the couch.
”Alright, to start off, I’m just going to explain who I am and what my purpose is here. As I said earlier, I am Dr. Anaka Brown. I studied human behavior at university, and specialized in omega behavior. As you may have noticed, I am not an omega. I will tell both of you now that I have a rare condition where I do not have any designation. Therefore, I don’t have any pack instincts or needs. Because of this, it was decided that I would live here on base to assist you with any of your needs. This building has basically been split in half. One side is where I will live, and the other is where we will meet for anything we need to do.”
“The main reason I wanted to talk to both of you today is because of something Colonel Green informed me about. I normally wouldn’t be so direct, but I get the feeling both of you would prefer me to skip all the soft wording and get to the point. So, we are going to be discussing heats.”
John noticed the way you tensed up slightly. He did appreciate Dr. Brown getting straight to the point. Attempting to soften the delivery by drawing it out for longer would’ve probably just gotten you more upset.
“To preface, I do not think it was a good idea to take you off of your suppressants. It was a foolish decision and obviously was not thought out. Now that I’m here, I’ve been put in charge of any medical decisions related to your status. Sadly, I am not allowed to reverse previous decisions, meaning I am not able to put you back on your suppressants.”
“Now, I want to ask both of you if you have any plans on how to handle things once signs of preheat start to show up?”
John waited for a moment to see if you’d say anything. Maybe you’ve been thinking about this, coming up with ideas. However, you stay silent, looking at the bookshelf and reading the titles. John focused back on Dr. Brown. There wasn’t much he wanted to say, but he also didn’t want to leave Dr. Brown hanging. As skeptical as he was of Colonel Green, Dr. Brown seemed to have genuine intentions here.
“Not my business. Unless it’s wanted, there’s no reason for me to step in.” John glanced at you, hoping to see some kind of reaction that would tell him if you agreed or not. You were the main focus here. It was your heat. What you wanted mattered the most, but it was a bit difficult if you weren’t giving them any clue as to what you wanted.
“I do understand that. I actually wanted to bring up an idea that I’ve had that might make the process a bit easier for everyone.
“I agree. I actually wanted to bring up an idea that wouldn’t involve you.” Dr. Brown put the pad down and grabbed a book from next to her chair, flipping it open. “There have been many times where the safest option for an omega was to be sedated for their heat. Well, sedated is a bit of a strong word. Basically, you will be given a numbing agent that will make it so none of the intense physical feelings happen while the heat is going on. You will also be given a weak sedative that would basically just keep you confined to a bed to make sure the numbing works and also stop you from seeking out an alpha. There’s a few more specifics, but does this sound like something you’d be interested in?”
Dr. Brown looked at you, but you didn’t say anything. John stayed quiet this time, knowing it wasn’t his place to speak up. Dr. Brown glanced at him, but he just looked back at you. She nodded.
“Well, we can put that topic on the back burner until next week. I do want to shift to something else now, but for that I’m going to ask that it is only y/n in the room.”
John kept his eye on you, but you showed no reaction. He looked back at Dr. Brown, giving a nod.
“ 'right.” He got up and headed for the door, looking back as he opened the door. “If you need me for any meeting later on, just drop me another email.” He looked at you. You were still looking at the bookcase. He decided against saying anything, not wanting to put you in a position where you felt obligated to respond to him.
John left the room and shut the door behind him. For a second, he debates on taking a seat in the little waiting area to wait for you. After all, his schedule was clear for the entire session. He pulls out his phone, checking for any notifications. Nothing. No one needed his attention right now. But in thirty minutes, you might. It was obvious you didn’t like being an omega, and the whole point of Dr. Brown was to get you used to being an omega again. This meeting could get to be too much for you, and he wants to be here for you, on the off chance that you’ll take the comfort he’s willing to offer.
So, John walks past the desk and sits down on the couch, reaching to grab one of the magazines. He flips through it as he waits for the meeting to come to an end.
It’d been five minutes since Price left. Most of it had been filled with silence, except at the beginning when Dr. Brown tried to get you to ask you more questions about your new living situation and what it means for you being an omega. You didn’t want to talk about that. You didn’t want to talk about any of this. The way you see it, if you can just stay quiet this entire time, then maybe, just maybe, Dr. Brown will realize this is pointless and stop this whole thing.
Of course, then she spoke again.
“Alright, we don’t have to talk about that. We can get into the other reason that I’m here.” Here it comes. “We can talk about how you’re doing, outside of the whole pack situation.”
Green had told you she was a licensed therapist. That’s actually how he had started the conversation with you. Said you should talk to someone, open up. You would never admit this out loud, but you genuinely did start to consider it. And then he said she would also be helping you with re-adjusting to being an omega. All the willingness disappeared instantly.
You didn’t want therapy. You didn’t want to talk about what happened. There was no need to talk. Not when you already understand what happened. You’ve come to terms with it. You understand what you need to do and how you need to live to make sure something like that doesn’t happen again.
“So, let’s start this how I would start with any other client. I am going to say now that nothing you tell me leaves this room. The only time I would ever tell anyone something you say is if I’m worried you might hurt yourself or someone else. This is a safe place for you to talk about anything you want, whether that be what you did today or something deeper. Does that sound alright?”
You are not doing therapy. You keep your gaze straight, the same way it’s been since you sat down.
Dr. Brown gives it about thirty seconds before talking again.
“You aren’t the first person I’ve met who didn’t want to talk about things. That’s okay, it’s completely natural. However, you should know that opening up doesn’t change anything about you. You’re allowed to talk, even if it feels like too much.”
Not. Doing. Therapy.
About a minute passes this time before she speaks.
“Well, we don’t have to do anything big this session. Just showing up is a step in the right direction, and we can take this step-by-step.”
Nope.
Thirty seconds. This time, however, the silence was broken with a sigh.
“I’ve seen your file. Normally, I wouldn’t look at something like that for a client, but since you’re also a patient, it’s necessary for me to do so. I know that you were gone for three months and when you were found you wanted absolutely nothing to do with a pack. I’m not here to force you back into pack life. I know that’s what it seems like since that’s exactly what’s being done to you outside of this office. It is not my ability to make what’s happening out there stop, but it is my ability to give you a space to talk about all of it and adjust much easier.”
“My goal here is to help you realize that you don’t need to shut everyone out. I’ve met many different people, and many different packs. I’ve met people who’ve had to be separated from their pack. Normally, that causes tension on both sides, even the ones who appear happy. One side, maybe both, is resentful that the other left, even if it was unwillingly. They never look like people who didn’t separate.”
“You look like that. Like you’ve had time away, like there’s some part of you that resents them, or at least wants to resent them. I don’t know why, and I’m not going to claim to know why. What I do know, however, is that you were the only one sitting on that couch with that look. Captain Price looks at you like you never left in the first place. He cares about you, and that care hasn’t wavered since you left them. He is someone you don’t have to shut out. You don’t have to put up a wall around him, and letting your wall down doesn’t make you lesser than who you are now.”
You didn’t want to think about it. You didn’t want to think about how Price is being nice to you. Because then you might just start to think about how you could just be nice back. And then you might be nice back. Being nice back would only lead to the air between you two being relaxed, and then you’d end up relaxed with the whole pack. And just like that, you’re an omega in a pack again, just like you were before. Exactly what you don’t want. You don’t want that. You don’t want comfort. You don’t want care. You don’t want reassurance.
You can’t.
“...are we done?” You asked, keeping your voice still despite the bubbling panic rising in you. Just the idea of all this makes you feel shaken. Makes you feel like they’re about to pop up and take you back, make sure you aren’t ruining your progress. Their progress.
“If you want to be.”
You did. You didn’t want to do therapy. Too many feelings.
So, you stood up. Dr. Brown did the same thing. She didn’t step forward, instead staying in her spot.
“I’ll see you again next week.”
You didn’t say anything. You walked towards the door and right out of it. Dr. Brown didn’t follow. You really did plan on heading straight for the door and walking right out. No need to linger where you don’t want to be. But then you felt eyes on you.
So, you turned your head. And there was Price. He was sitting in what seemed to be set up to look like a waiting room. He was waiting. For you.
You never did more than just look at them, but for some reason, you gave a small nod in his direction, and he returned the gesture.
You left the building, trying to avoid acknowledging the tiny part of yourself that was feeling some form of relief, even from just that small interaction. You couldn’t fall back into that, no matter how good it felt. It wouldn’t work out.
You’d just ruin everything.
“I’m not sure about all this. Perhaps it was too soon. Pushing them back into their pack, taking them off suppressants, having them meet with someone who is going to be specifically trying to get them to be an omega?”
“It’s necessary. We need to test them, make sure they won’t break and give in.”
“And if they do? All our progress will be wasted. We’ve spent so much time working on them. If they start getting close to the pack again, all our time would be worthless.”
“No, it won’t. As I said, this is a test. Just because someone fails a test doesn’t mean the previous time spent learning is wasted. It just means they need to learn more.”
“And how, exactly, are we going to make sure they learn more when their pack is right there? You really think that pack will make the same mistake again?”
“I already have a plan. If I notice them getting too close, we’ll just take them again. And that’s a big if. They’re strong, believe me. They aren’t going to break.”
With that, he hung up the phone. There was nothing more to say. He had you under control.
Word Count: 5.1k
Angst
Poly!141 x omega!reader
Summary: You were just told you were taken off your suppressants. Obviously, now is a perfect time to also be involved in questioning an enemy. John is definitely starting to not like Colonel Green.
Warnings: Mentions of torture, military inaccuracies, a/b/o trope sexism(is that the right word? 'classism', maybe? idk but a big anti-omega guy in the chapter so yeah HEAVY on this one), medical autonomy taken away(again don't know if this is the right way to phrase it but still, carries from the last chapter so if you read that then you know)
Notes: Again heavy on the trope typical sexism you have been warned. To admit it I am not a fan of the end portion of this chapter but I have already spent the past two days trying to make it right and have now decided I must move on. It feels a bit repetitive and confusing, so I apologize for that. Aso, uh, yeah, I just realized Simon hasn't been mentioned in a bit but I promise I will make up for that in later chapters I swear, it's already in the chapter layout, Simon will get the love he deserves.
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“What do you mean?” You asked, voice mostly flat, but John could hear the fear creeping into your tone.
“My superiors believe that you will adjust easier if you are actually doing things an omega would do. Since you’ve been on heat suppressants for over half a year now, there’s other things that have been pushed down, such as wanting to make a nest, bond with your pack, and having your heat. They think that it will make sure the healing process actually starts, and that you don’t keep avoiding it.”
“So forcing me to see an ‘omega specialist’ doesn’t do that?”
There were only a few times John could think of where he could tell you were panicking. During those times, the dead give away had been your scent. He wouldn’t even have to look at you to know you were panicking, it was undeniable.
Now, John doesn’t have your scent to go off, obviously. However, your face was more than enough. It wasn’t blatantly obvious, but it was a look in your eye. The way you were barely breathing. The way your hand shook, despite the fact that you were trying to suppress it.
“I’m sorry, Hawk. This is out of my control.”
“Seems like everything is out of your control nowadays.”
There were even less times John could remember of you truly angry. You didn’t do that much. The one time he remembers clearly was after Johnny had messed up when setting up an explosive and nearly got himself killed. He remembers the scent in the air, the look on your face, the rage in your tone.
And now he’s seeing you pissed off once again. Truly pissed off. Though John doesn’t know much about you and Green’s relationship, it’s obvious you trust him. Though John doesn’t, he does hope this doesn’t destroy the relationship between you two. If Green really is the only person you’ve been open with, you don’t deserve to lose that. Especially right now.
“I’m just doing what I’ve been told.”
“Bullshit."
“Hawk.” You stood up.
“No, no, don’t give me that, you know this is complete bullshit. They can’t do this. I have a right to be on suppressants, no matter what they say.”
“They can if they believe it is hindering you mentally. They can get your prescription cancelled, and that’s what they’re going to be doing.”
“ ‘Hindering me mentally’? Are you kidding me? How the hell are they hindering me?!”
“I’m sorry.”
John didn’t know what to do. He’d never seen you like this. You were angry, but it was due to the panic. Sure, the anger was obvious in your tone and on your face, but the shaking of your hands told John exactly what was going on. Especially when as you turned and stormed out of the room, he saw the way your eyes were starting to water, even though you obviously didn’t want that to be seen.
His first response after seeing that was to stand up himself and follow you out. Comfort you. Hold you. Wrap you in his arms so you could properly smell his scent and truly be able to relax for what would probably be the first time since the last time he held you.
He stood up, going to do just that, his instincts kicking in over his rational thinking of knowing you wouldn’t accept his comfort.
“I wouldn’t do that, Captain. When they get like this, it’s best to let them calm down.”
John paused. He looked back at the Colonel. The alpha in him was screaming. Who did this alpha who is not in his pack, who is not your alpha, think he is telling him what’s the best thing to do for you? John’s known you for longer. Sure, this guy’s been around you for the past nine months, but John has been your alpha for over three years. Does this random alpha really think he gets a say in how is best for you? Is he fucking serious? After he’s the one who caused you to be hurt in the first place?
However, John is a rational man. He knew how to step out of the instincts he has as an alpha. It’s a pretty necessary thing to do with a job like this. That didn’t mean he wasn’t pissed off though.
“Care to tell me what the logic behind suddenly takin’ ‘em off a medication they’ve been takin’ every day for the last nine months?” Green sighed.
“I just did. They believe that it will help-”
“You know as well as I do this won’t help anything.” Another sigh.
“I can’t do anything about this, Captain Price.”
“This isn’t right.”
“That doesn’t matter.”
John had to take a breath. He was the captain. He was the pack alpha. He needed to be put together when the others can’t, and right now, it was obvious that you can’t. So he needs to keep a level head.
That doesn’t mean there isn’t that temptation to slap Green across the face for being so still faced in this situation.
John would never have done this to you. He would’ve fought. He would’ve lied to their faces, said there was absolutely nothing wrong with you so that they didn’t think suppressants were ‘hindering you mentally’. Bullshit. Such bullshit. This isn’t going to help you. You’ve just had your medical control taken away without any input from you.
“When are they gonna stop gettin’ their prescription?”
“It’s effective immediately.”
The temptation has risen.
Heats are something that happen bi-monthly. That means you have suppressed at least four heats now. Things that are suppressed don’t just disappear, they get pushed deep down. And when you take away the thing pushing it down suddenly, with no warning, that means nothing good.
John read your files when you got transferred back to the team. On those files your prescription was mentioned, including the dates that you get refills.
Your next refill was tomorrow.
“You serious? Do you get how dodgy that is?” Green nodded.
“Yes, I know. However, if they have support from their pack and alpha, then they will be able to get through it without much issue.”
“They don’t want our support. Forcing ‘em to need it is not going to help ‘em get used, or ‘adjusted’, to us. This isn’t going to work.”
“They’ll push through. They always do.” John was livid. His fists clenched at his sides. He kept a solid stance where he stood to make sure he didn’t jump across the table. You shouldn’t have to push through. You never should’ve had to push through.
“Oh, so that’s why you just shoved ‘em right back into the field after they’d been missin’ for three months?”
“The situation is more complicated than it seems.”
“In any other situation they would’ve been pulled out of the field for over a year and given some serious therapy. They would’ve been taken off duty till it was clear they were mentally able to handle the job after such that kind of trauma. You know why that’s how it usually goes?”
“Hawk isn’t a normal case-”
“It normally happens so that they can recover and sort themselves out. You reckon that by chucking ‘em into situations that wind ‘em up and make ‘em uncomfortable will help, but it won’t.”
“Are you saying they shouldn’t have come back to your pack?”
John knew at those words that he had to end this conversation as soon as possible, because if he didn’t, he might walk into this office tomorrow for a surprise visit and be the only one to walk out.
“You know that isn’t what I said.” John replied through gritted teeth. Green held his hands up slightly in defense
“My apologies, Captain, I’m just trying to understand what you want from me.”
“I want you to-!” John stopped himself. He shook his head, gripping the back of the chair. He can’t. Shouting at the Colonel isn’t going to help you. He might not be the Colonel’s biggest fan, but, according to Laswell, this is the only person who you’ve talked to about anything. He doesn’t want to ruin that for you. He took a breath.
“I do not agree with the decision to take ‘em off their suppressants.”
Despite his wanting to know more about the thought process behind you being in the field, it was obvious the conversation was only going to get him more pissed off. He can’t risk making the Colonel too upset. Not only because of you, but also because he still wants to try and figure out what happened to you. And if he has a completely negative relationship with the Colonel, the option of getting information from Green goes out the window.
“I don’t either. But I can’t change this. It’s already gone through.”
John didn’t have any more to say. Well, he did. He had a lot to say. He didn’t have any more calm things to say. So, he turned to leave. As he got to the door, Green spoke up again.
“You should know that the target your team captured two days ago, Christopher Stone, will be getting questioned tonight.”
John was confused. He didn’t know why he was being told this. Normally, he wouldn’t hear updates on a mission like that for a month, since it wasn’t like he’d been tracking the subject himself. Things worked on a need-to-know basis, and this is the kind of thing where it wasn’t needed for him to know about this. His team was sent in as backup with no prior experience in other missions that have been done in relation to Christopher Stone.
But you were. And you’re on his team now.
“Do they know?” Green nodded.
“They’re going to be present.”
John didn’t respond, he just walked out. He doesn’t think he’s ever heard so many stupid decisions being expressed out loud at once, and he has conversations with Johnny on a daily basis. Forcing you to be taken off your suppressants and then right after hearing that, you’re going to be present for an interrogation? John had wanted to believe that the omega specialist was a good idea to help you out, but if Green is doing these other things as well, then John doesn’t know if he can trust the other things being done.
John needed to find you. He needed to make sure you weren’t panicking. The idea of you somewhere alone on base, shaking and crying, made the alpha in him scream. Even if you won’t take advantage of him offering comfort, he still wanted to be present. Make sure you know he’s there, even if you aren’t reaching out for him right now.
He walked the hallways around Green’s office for a bit, trying to see if he could pick up on any sign of you. However, he found nothing. So, he widened his search. He chose to go back to the pack house and then look around there. There’s a lot of trees, it’d be a good place for you to hide yourself so you could crumble.
He got to the pack house and there was a very, very faint smell in the air. Panic. Though the smell was too faint to show whose panic it was, John knew. He quickly opened the door and rushed in. A few steps in and he saw his two betas standing in the living room, talking to each other in confusion. Well, one of them was standing. Johnny was pacing the floor.
“We can’t just sit here.”
“They stood up and walked away when I was just heading in their direction and that was when they looked calm, I doubt they’d want us to follow ‘em when they’re that upset.”
“Could get some actual answers tae what the hell is goin’ on with ‘em.”
“They’re gettin’ taken off their heat suppressants.” John said. Johnny stopped his pacing, looking over.
“Are ye kiddin’?” John shook his head. Kyle stood there for a moment, taking it in. He shook his head, sitting back down.
“There’s no damn way.” John sighed.
“There is. It’s just what they are doin’. Colonel Green told me himself that they’re bein’ taken off, effective immediately.”
“Well that’s pure shit.” Johnny said. John nodded.
“I know.” Kyle sighed.
“At least they got the rest of their suppressants to try and ease off of it.” John shook his head.
“They don’t. Tomorrow was when they were due for their next refill. They’ve probably got another week’s worth left, if that.”
“No way in hell, there’s no way that’s allowed.” Johnny started to pace again.
“I’m afraid it is. They believe that bein’ on suppressants stops ‘em from healin’ properly and gettin’ adjusted to pack life.” Johnny scoffed.
“The only thing stoppin’ them from that is themself. Takin’ ‘em off suppressants ain’t gonna help wi’ that.”
“I know.” John remembered the conversation the two betas were having when he walked in. “Did they pop in here?” Kyle nodded.
“They rushed in, stormed to their room. Slammed the door and came out a minute later and stormed right back out.” Kyle looked to the floor. “They were panickin’. I could smell it. They were strugglin’ with trying to keep it down, but it was in the air. Barely, but still there.”
John sighed, shaking his head. He crossed his arms, just thinking for a moment. You were here, but you didn’t stay. He couldn’t imagine what it was that you had done in your room. Being in there for only a minute couldn’t have possibly been enough time to calm yourself down after that.
“Did Green tell ye anythin’ else? Maybe somethin’ aboot what the hell’s been gaun on the last year?” Johnny asked.
“Nothing about that. I did bring up ‘em bein’ in the field, but he just spouted some bullshit. They are going to be seeing an omega specialist, and I’m in charge of making sure they actually go and don’t skip it.”
“What’s an ‘omega specialist’?” Kyle asked. John shrugged.
“I’m not entirely sure. From what he was saying, they’re basically just someone who’s gonna help ‘em get used to being an omega in a pack again.”
“How can they get used to it when they refuse to do it?” John waved his hands in front of him slightly.
“Don’t know. Don’t think Green and his superiors do either. I think they’re being muppets.”
There was a silent collective agreement in the room. It sat for a moment before Kyle spoke up.
“Might be good for ‘em to have someone to talk to, ‘bout omega stuff and gettin’ used to it again. Once they are willin’, obviously.” He gave a short, dry chuckle. “Though just a general therapist would probably do ‘em better than all this focus on the omega shit.”
Johnny nodded.
“You’d think Green would think of that himself instead of being a daft idiot.”
John sighed.
“Alright, I need to head off. That bloke we brought to base the other day is being questioned tonight, and apparently Ace is gonna be involved.” Johnny threw his arms in the air, turning around and walking over to fall to the couch.
“Fucking idiots.”
John decided to try and look for you for another fifteen minutes in the trees around the base before having to admit that you’ve probably already gone to the questioning. He was hoping he’d be able to talk to you before, make sure you’re in the right headspace to be listening to whatever was about to be said by this guy. While he doesn’t know much about who Christopher Stone is or why the organization he’s in is doing what they’re doing, he knows you must have some feelings about it. Green had mentioned that you had studied these people for weeks to learn their schedule. And while that is a normal thing for someone to do, a sinking feeling in John’s gut tells him there’s something more going on here.
He walked to the main building and then went down to the basement, walking to the end of the corridor and going inside.
“Captain Price? What are you doing here? I didn’t see you on the list of people approved to be here.” John recognized the person in front of him. He’d seen them around base a few times, but never talked to them himself. Hannigan, he thinks their name is?
“Is Hawk here?” It was his first time referring to you with that code name. It felt wrong to call you that, but that’s probably the name the people in here would recognize. He could’ve used your real name, but it felt strange to relate that name with what was about to happen.
“I’m sorry, sir, I can’t give you that information.”
“They’re my omega.”
Hannigan paused, seeming shocked for a moment. John knew you probably wouldn’t want him to be calling you that, but he also knew he wanted to be in this room. He wanted to see why you were here. What you would do. How far you would go.
Hannigan sighed.
“Hawk is here. I can allow you to observe from the window, but you can not be in the room with them.”
“That’s all I want to do.”
Hannigan walked over and opened the door behind her. John walked in. The lights were dimmed with the only main light coming from the other side if the glass. There were two people in here, and one of them was Colonel Green. When Green looked back and saw John, he seemed confused.
“Captain, I don’t remember approving for you to be here.” John could go the easy route, say that he assumed being informed meant he was allowed to come. Play the miscommunication card and then charm his way into being allowed to stay. However, John was still pissed at Green, and the idea of this alpha telling him he can’t be in the same room as his omega makes that anger from earlier start to boil up again.
“If Hawk’s here, so am I.” John never purposefully projects his scent. The only times he’s done that is for his pack when they’ve needed his scent to calm down, relax, or feel comforted. And while he doesn’t project it, he does let it seep into the air a little. Make sure they understand his tone perfectly. They can’t make him leave you, and if they try, he will not hold back.
Everyone knows not to mess with a protective alpha. Green might have a higher position of authority, but he does have to acknowledge pack dynamics. The protective scent in the air is laced with anger, and Green knows better than to piss off an already angry alpha when it comes to their omega.
“Alright. You can watch.”
“I know.”
John was pushing his luck, he knew that. But sometimes anger needs to be shown so that the line can be drawn between what he will tolerate and what he will not tolerate. He’s been purposefully left out on everything involving you for the past year. He will not be left out anymore.
Green doesn’t say anything, though John can tell he’s getting upset. No one likes their authority being challenged, and John was definitely doing that. But, at least for tonight, the tension between them wasn’t going to be raised any higher. They both had other things to focus on.
Well, one other thing. You.
John moved to look through the one-way mirror. Christopher Stone was on the other side, tied to a chair. He’d already been beaten, that much was obvious. There was blood, lots of it. John couldn’t imagine you doing that.
When his eyes landed on you, he realized he didn’t have to. Your hands were clean. You were just in the room, watching with an impossible to read face. Not only was the bottom half of it covered, but your eyes showed nothing. No reaction to what was going on. Not scared, concerned, ect. But also not amused, and John took that as a good sign. You weren’t that gone.
The other person in the room, however, did have blood on their knuckles. It seems like they were wiping them off now. They glanced at the window, giving a nod. John didn’t know what happened before he came in, but he could assume Stone had agreed to talk. Green seemed satisfied at the moment, Stone seemed torn up. John realized this has probably been going on all day and they had let Green know when Stone was willing to talk, and that was before John arrived in his office about 45 minutes ago.
“Who do you work for?” Stone took a breath.
“Her name is Miller.”
“First name?” Stone hesitated. The person took a step forward.
“Maeve. Maeve Miller.”
“Tell us about Maeve.”
“There’s not much I can. I’ve never met her face to face. I’ve only ever gotten instructions through the phone.”
“Status?”
“Alpha.”
Based on Stone’s willingness, John guesses there was more than just the interrogation techniques. A deal, maybe. You tell us what we want, we’ll do this and stop beating you. It had to have been a good one. No way Stone would give this all up so willingly if not.
There were a few more questions. They were mainly asking what the next plans were, but Stone wasn’t able to give much in that regard. He claimed that they’ve probably changed all the plans that involve him now that they know he’s been taken. There’s no way they’d risk going through with them. Stone still gave the plans, but that was it.
Then, the person asking the questions walked towards the door. You looked confused. You looked to the window, giving a quick look of confusion. However, Green didn’t move. The person got to the door. You looked at Stone.
“Don’t do it, Hawk.” Stone muttered under his breath. As if you heard him, you glanced back at the window.
John didn’t know what ‘it’ was that Green was referring to, but he had a feeling he was about to find out.
You had been here for thirty minutes. You’d stopped at the pack house to just dose yourself in scent blockers, not trusting yourself to properly suppress your scent after what you’d been told. You tried not to think about what you’d been told earlier. You couldn’t be emotional right now. You were working.
Well, you’re ‘working’ was just you standing in this room doing nothing. Green had told you that you weren’t allowed to ask any questions, you were just there for extra support. If Stone acted up while answering questions, you’d use your scent. Of course, when you were covering yourself with the scent blockers, you had completely forgotten that’s the reason Green had come up with for you to be here, but luckily, your skills weren’t needed. Stone was speaking without issue. You didn’t need to do anything.
However, as the questioning came to an end, you were starting to feel as though you needed to do something. No questions have been asked about their motivation, about the why of it all. Why attack off duty officers? Why attack military bases? Why steal intel? Why move illegal weapons? Where were they going? Where are other safe houses?
Why take you?
Green hadn’t promised you’d get answers. You know that. But he did imply the questions would at least be asked. He said they might lie, and you’d prefer that over never having any answer. Who knows when the next time you’d be able to get a chance to ask those questions to someone who could actually answer? All Green could do was provide guesses. This guy could give something more.
And as the person who’d been asking the questions put their hand on the door handle, you decided the consequences were worth the answers.
“What’s your motivation?”
“The statue talks?” Stone asked, sarcasm but also a bit of shock evident in his voice. He probably didn’t expect you to speak.
“Your motivation.” You repeated. Stone looked at you for a moment before shaking his head.
“I said I’d answer them. Not some omega.” He shouldn’t be able to tell. There’s no way he could tell. You’ve covered your scent. It’s not like you're standing like an omega or wearing a stereotypical omega type of outfit. “No one douses themself in that much scent blocker unless they’re hiding something. I bet you were the one who knocked me out, weren’t you?”
“That’s irrelevant.”
“I’m not answering your questions. I never agreed to being questioned by the likes of you.”
You knew better than to get emotional with him. That’s what he wants. He wants to prove himself right, that you were just some omega who couldn’t control their emotions and broke at the slightest bit of confrontation and backlash. That you were weak and that needed to be fixed. But it had already been fixed during your three months gone.
“The deal was you’d answer our questions. Don’t make them take that back.” Stone paused. It was a pretty damn good deal, which made you even more confused why asking the motivation wasn’t originally on the list. Stone would be released and they’d help him flee the country so the people he works with wouldn’t kill him for giving up information. Based on the sigh he let out after about twenty seconds, he decided he wanted the deal more than his personal bias.
“Show the flaws in your system. You allow connection too easily. It makes you all weak.”
Now it’s starting to sound familiar. You’ve heard these words before. Emotion makes you weak. Connection makes you weak. Instincts make you weak.
Love makes you weak.
“You let yourselves be guided by your pack dynamics and because of societal standards, the members who could be the strongest are made weaker.”
It all makes sense. That’s exactly what they told you. The potential you had within you if you stopped clinging and depending on a pack. The abilities you’d have if you just turned your useless instincts off, like wanting to nest and be near your pack.
It’d been drilled into your head so many times during those three months. By the end, you understood what they were saying. You had resisted at first, but all their points made sense. The only reason you sacrificed yourself was because of the instinct to make sure your pack was safe. Because of love. Your love is the reason you ended up captured. Everything that happened was your fault because you let yourself be led by love instead of actual thought. You were foolish. It was on you.
In order to be better, to not risk getting hurt again, you had to push away those instincts. Not only did it keep you safe, but it kept others safe as well. If you were to get close to people again, take in that pack dynamic, you would get sloppy. That means you could get hurt, which would only hurt the pack all over again. You don’t want to think about what happened the year you were gone, but you highly doubt it was anything good. So, the safest thing to do was keep your distance.
Those three months with them had taught you that.
You’d been hesitant to try and track them down, but Green convinced you. Said it would help you prove to yourself that you weren’t weak if you could hunt the people who’d hurt you. After a few months, the two of you caught wind of the safe house. So for the past two months, over half of your missions have been stake outs. And it seems like that was worth it, because after a few more questions, you’ll have the perfect opportunity to ask him how they chose to take you instead of just killing you a year ago.
And with that answer, you could get some closure. Then, you can hunt them down.
“The omegas?” You asked to ‘clarify’, though you were already sure you knew what was going on.
Stone gave you a look.
“What? No, the alphas.”
…What?
No, that doesn’t make sense. The people who took you would’ve said omegas. He should have answered omega. Why didn’t he answer omega?
“What do you mean?”
“I meant alphas. They’re held back by their care for their omegas, who are weak. Allowing omegas to work like alphas has only shown their weakness even more and put everyone at risk. They need to be put in their place.”
You know he could be lying, but there’s something about his tone. He’s convinced of the words he’s saying. But he can’t be, because that would mean he isn’t with the people who held you. He isn’t part of that group, and you’ve been mistaken for the past two months of tracking this organization down.
Stone looked at you, almost amused.
“Did you really think that omegas were the strongest? Are you serious?” He scoffed. “What, you think because you can project your scent a bit that you’re so much better than the rest of us? Don’t be stupid. You’re just like any other omega. You’re not strong enough for this world. You’re too weak.”
This isn’t right.
“You know what we would do if we got our hands on an omega like you?”
This is wrong. It’s all wrong. Those aren’t supposed to be his answers. He’s supposed to be talking about how omegas like you need a push in the right direction to reach your potential, that’s why they chose you. That’s why they took you. That’s why they did all of that to you.
“You’re what we consider past the point of fixing. Too strong. Too independent. Not worth the effort to fix. If we had taken you, we would’ve killed you on the spot.”
Suddenly, the last few months of your life felt like a complete waste. You’d poured so much time into trying to track down the people who had taken you. And now, you just realized that this man, Christopher Stone, and the safe house you’d been watching had nothing to do with them.
Because the people who took you didn’t kill you on the spot. They took you. They trained you. They tore you down and built you into who you are now. They didn’t even consider killing you. They specifically told you that they wouldn’t be killing you, so this isn’t right. This is wrong. It’s all wrong.
However, despite the realization that it has all been worthless, you can’t show how freaked out you are. How much this affects you. You can’t show emotion, because that makes you weak. Being weak gets you in trouble. You ruin all the progress they made with you. That you made with yourself.
“You’re pathetic. Thinking I would say omegas shows everything that is wrong with this world, thinking omegas are so important. Idiots.”
Word Count: 3.7k
Mostly angst, some comfort with Johnny and Gaz tho :]
Poly!141 x omega!reader
Summary: The first day back isn't easy. Everyone has adjustments they need to make. You learn that you're going to have to adjust a bit more than others.
Warnings: Reader is still mean(though the worst of it is directed to Colonel Green), bad attempts at European accents, probably some plot holes, military inaccuracies(probably)
Notes: Alright by now we know and understand I do not have an upload schedule, I write when the motivation hits and hope it stays around for long enough. Reader is less mean to the guys in this chapter, though that's mainly because they don't interact much. I love Johnny and Kyle their so sweet, they have a nice moment together in this chapter. Not much Simon in this chapter but I promise that will be made up for in the future. If you notice any mistakes in this chapter no you don't you're crazy whaaaat. Anyways see you in another five months who knows
Made the banner with canva and divider with photopea
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Sleeping in a new place is always hard. Sleeping in a place that isn’t new but still foreign? Even harder. Just laying in the bed gave you an onslaught of memories. The only reason you were able to fall asleep was because you didn’t sleep the night before. However, that didn’t stop the nightmares from making themselves known.
Your eyes shot open, staring at the ceiling as you tried to catch your breath. You grab a handful of the bedsheet, trying to stop your hand from shaking as you gained control of your breathing once more. It took a minute, but you came to yourself. You didn’t have time to dwell on your nightmare. If you did that, you’d be laying in bed all day trying to unpack what’s going on in your head.
You got up, forcing yourself to move on from what it was that woke you. It woke you at a good time anyway. The sun was about to come out from underneath the horizon, typically when you started getting ready for the day. You decide to save the shower for later tonight when you have the least chance to run into one of the four of them. You don’t want to risk one of them seeing you without clothes. Too many looks. Too many questions. Too many feelings.
You change and head to the kitchen. It’s strange, knowing exactly where to go to get there. Nothing has changed. The decorations on the wall are the same. The plants might even be the same ones you’d given Ghost in an attempt to give him some kind of hobby that wasn’t work.
You try not to think about Ghost watering these plants while thinking of you.
You walk into the kitchen and go to the sink to fill your water bottle, not wanting to take one of the bottled waters off the counter. There’s only a few left, and you don’t want to stay here, so it doesn’t make sense to take things from here that you didn’t pay for. Once you fill your water bottle, you turn to leave the kitchen and head for the front door.
There, you see Ghost. He has a watering can in his hands. More noticeable is the fact that he doesn’t have a mask on. He pauses, and so do you. You’ve seen him without a mask before, obviously. Still, it feels… wrong. This isn’t a sight you’ve seen for a year. The first time Ghost did show you his face was only after you’d known him for a while. Seeing it now feels like you don’t deserve to. Especially when you’re wearing your own mask, hiding yourself from him. So, you look away and continue walking to the front door, moving on. You’ve got to get to training anyway.
When Kyle woke up this morning, he had to peel himself out of Johnny’s grasp in order to get out of bed. He woke up a bit earlier than usual, so he decided against waking up the other beta. He got to cooking a small breakfast for himself, John, and Johnny, knowing Simon has already left and judging by your open bedroom door, you had as well. He’ll spend some time tonight pre-making some breakfast for tomorrow morning. He could put it in the fridge and leave a sticky note on the door to let you and Simon know there’s food ready. He doesn’t know if you’ll take it, but he’d rather leave you something than nothing.
Training wasn’t supposed to be a lot today due to just having a mission. It’d probably be more self-led, John spending the day doing paperwork. Simon probably wouldn’t be very open to leading things today due to your arrival.
Kyle spends his walk to the main building on base wondering how things will be different now that you’re here. Well, now that you’re back.
It’s beyond weird to think about the fact that you’re not dead. He’d only recently managed to come to terms with it. Now, everything he’d been telling himself is worthless.
Before he can think anymore about it, he sees a figure running the track. Taking a moment to look closer, he realizes it’s you. You’re not wearing what you used to wear when exercising. In the past, you’d grab a tank top and a pair of shorts. Now, however, you’re wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. Sure, it’s not the biggest change compared to how many others there are. But it’s still different. Even the small things are different. It isn’t right.
For a moment, Kyle considers stopping his journey to the main base and joining you on the track. He ends up stepping outside as you finish the turn and start running along the side that’s closer to him. However, you don’t spare a glance in his direction. In the past, whenever you were running the track, you always glanced back at the pack house to see if one of them were there. He would be able to see you doing it from the window. If you did see one of them, you’d stop running and take a moment to say hi or see if they wanted to join. Here, however, you just kept running. No glances. No pauses. No breaks. Just nonstop running.
Kyle decides to keep going for the mess hall. He doesn’t want to push things. He doesn’t even know what is considered pushing things. All he knows is that he doesn’t want to hurt you and make you more distant than you already are, if that’s even possible.
Kyle goes about the beginning of his day the same way he normally would. He trains with Ghost, he talks to Johnny, stops by John’s office in the pack house to see how he’s doing. Then, lunch comes along. He walks to the mess hall.
As he goes, he thinks about his talks with Johnny, which were mostly filled with nothing. The two of them were avoiding the obvious. They had agreed last night that talks about you would be reserved for private. Johnny might be pissed off, but Kyle was able to point out that you still deserved privacy, and talking about this whole situation in public where anyone could hear wouldn’t help that.
Walking into the mess hall, Kyle grabs his food and starts heading to the usual table. However, Kyle pauses when his eyes land on you sitting at a table, a plate in front of you that you aren’t eating. You're observing the room, looking around at the people. The mask is still on your face, and Kyle has a feeling you aren’t going to be pulling it down anytime soon.
Despite that feeling that you are going to stay closed in, he decided to take a chance. He grabbed some food for himself and then started heading to where you were sitting.
You stood up before he got three tables away, taking an apple off your tray before putting the rest with the other dirty dishes. Then, you walked out of the mess hall, not glancing back.
Obviously, one could make the argument that you were simply done spending your time in here and decided to leave. But Kyle knew better. The way you’d been so intensely observing the room when he walked in tells him that you knew he was heading over, and that’s why you left. At least you didn’t wait till he was at the table.
He attempted to push it down. He really did. However, after sitting down at his usual table, he found himself only able to look at his food. He couldn’t eat now, not with all the thoughts of you in his head. He got ready to get up, only to stop when Johnny sat down across from him.
“You’d think with how many times they tell us to eat lunch in the mess hall instead of our house, they’d actually put some effort into making the food look appealing.” Ah yes, the typical complaining about the food even though both Kyle and Johnny knew that he would eat the food regardless. Normally, Kyle would say something to point this out, or call out how many times Johnny has said this, to the point that it has become a tradition to spend the first five minutes of lunch together talking about the food. Kyle, however, can’t find it in him to be playful right now.
Johnny quickly takes notice of this. He doesn’t need to think long to get an idea of what caused this. He stands up, walking around to the other side of the table and sitting next to Kyle.
“Ye want tae gae?” Kyle sighed, but nodded, standing up. He went to grab his tray but Johnny got there first. Johnny walked ahead of him to place both of their trays down in the same area you had placed yours minutes ago. Kyle went for the door, knowing Johnny was right behind him.
The walk to the pack house was quiet, holding true to the promise from last night. Once they got there, Kyle went ahead and just sat down on the couch. Meanwhile, Johnny walked ahead and Kyle assumed he was heading for John’s office.
Kyle sat there for a minute. He felt almost guilty. He had been begging for you to come back in some kind of way for the past year, and now you’re here, and he doesn’t know if it’s any better. Sure, you’re alive. But you’re hurting, and you’re hurting everyone else by extension. And though he hates that the thought goes through his head, he can’t help but think about what they’d be doing right now if you weren’t back.
Nothing special. Normal training. Going about their day. And that’s the thing. It wouldn’t be any different. Kyle would be eating right now, not stuck in some kind of moral crisis about whether or not this is a good thing.
He’s about to lean back into the couch, properly get into position for this kind of thinking. If he’s going to be in deep thought about something like this, he’d like to be comfortable. Before he can, Johnny walks back into the living room, sitting next to him.
It’s quiet for a moment or two.
“Ye wanna talk aboot it?” Kyle sighed.
“They left after seeing me coming over.” Johnny shook his head.
“Course they did.” He said to himself. Kyle shook his head next.
“No, no, not like that. Not in the way you're thinking.” He recounted to Johnny what happened. Walking in, seeing you. Walking over, and you leaving before he had the chance to get near your table. “They aren’t trying to hurt us.”
“That certainly makes this whole situation better.” Johnny said sarcastically. Kyle sent him a look, and Johnny sighed with an apology. “Ah’m sorry, ah just… Well, ye know me.”
Kyle scoffed. “Yeah, much to my own dismay.”
“Aye! Ah’ll remind ye that ye knowin’ me is entirely up tae ye. Just like what we did last week-”
“Oi, shut it, we’re still workin’. You know our rules.”
“No’ anymore. Ah spoke tae John, we’ve got the rest o’ the day aff. Deal wi’ our new trauma an’ all that shite.”
“Damn, he really said it was alright?”
“Aye, o’ course he did. We’re the pack betas, us fallin’ apart is the sign o’ total an’ complete destruction without a hope o’ recoverin’.”
“Well, you did fall apart last w-”
“‘Right, ‘right, ‘right, might be done wi’ work but that disnae mean ye get tae rub shite in mah face.”
Kyle chuckled, nodding his head.
“Alright, alright.” Kyle agreed. He smiled at Johnny, glad that he was the one who showed up to lunch first and brought him here. He knows Simon and John would’ve noticed something wrong as well, but they wouldn’t have treated it in the way Johnny has. Simon would’ve sat down next to him, offering comfort in presence. John would’ve brought Kyle here, but then left to finish up his own work, offering comfort in a break from the world. Johnny did both. And while Kyle would’ve appreciated having just one, this is the type of situation where both is needed.
Johnny leaned against Kyle, putting some of his weight against him.
“We’ve got each other. The four o’ us. We need tae remember that.” Kyle nodded.
“That’s right. We’ve got each other.”
The day had gone by quicker than you thought it would. You expected to turn every corner and see one of them, but it seems they’ve stayed away from you, for the most part. There was that little point where Gaz was coming to sit with you, but you avoided that.
Now, however, you assume your streak of avoiding them will come to an end. You had to go back to the house. Everything you needed to do was done. Sure, you could just keep training to spend your time elsewhere, but the last time you overexerted yourself when training to avoid your problems, Green benched you for a week. Bastard.
You got back to the house and intended to go straight to your room. Of course, life hasn’t been that easy for the past year and that wasn’t going to start today.
“Ye could at least gie us a look, ye know.” You heard from the kitchen as you walked by it. You paused for a split second, and that was your downfall. “Bloody hell, the stone wall does notice others. Ah’m shocked.”
You didn’t want to do this, so you continued walking, only to hear that Soap was now walking behind you.
“We’re livin’ in the same pack house. Ye no’ even gonnae talk tae us?”
It’s not good for you. You can’t get close. It’ll ruin everything. All your progress.
“A hello, maybe? Even just a wave? Anythin’?”
There’s your door. You’re fine. Just don’t turn around. Don’t look at him. Don’t cave. Don’t be weak.
You heard his feet stop as your hand touched your door knob.
“For cryin’ out loud... Look, Ah’m not gonnae stop bein’ a pain in the arse tae ye no matter how much ye ignore me. This is me fightin’ for ye, and ye know damn well Ah’m no’ stoppin' anytime soon.”
‘This is me fightin’ for ye’.
. . .
You can’t. You can’t.
You open your door and shut it behind you, making sure to lock it. You kept your gaze straight, not wanting to acknowledge the way your hands were slightly shaking. You kept your breath steady, not wanting to lose control of your scent.
You can’t cave. You can’t go back to them.
You can’t need them again.
You can’t be weak.
John had just finished up his paperwork. His days were pretty much the same. Train in the morning, and then do paperwork for the rest of the day. When he shifted to doing paperwork depending on how much he had to do. Today, it was more than usual due to the most recent mission and a ‘new’ ‘addition’ to the pack.
He was getting ready to step out of his office when the phone rang. He answered, even though he’d rather be passed out right now. He didn’t sleep well last night. Not well meaning he probably got only one hour of solid sleep.
“Price.” He answered, hoping his greeting conveyed that he was hoping to keep this short.
“Hello, Captain Price. This is Colonel Green. I need you to come meet me.” It was not going to be kept short.
“Where am I supposed to meet you? And what is the meeting about?”
“I’ve got an office set up in the main building on base. It’s near medical.”
An office? That sounds more permanent than John thought Green’s time here would be. He didn’t expect Green to just leave, not with how much it seems like he was involved with your life the past nine months. He did think Green would be leaving at some point though. After a few weeks, maybe a few months, once you’ve gotten a bit more adjusted, more open to them. But if Green already has an office, then that might not be what’s going to happen.
“And it’s best to talk about in person. Hawk is on their way here as well. I’ll see you both soon.”
You’d be there as well. To be honest, that did make John walk a bit faster. Not noticeably, just that tiniest way of speeding up that would get him there maybe two seconds earlier. He was still your alpha, after all, even if things were… complicated.
When he got there, you had already arrived. And it seems there was a conversation that’d been going on, based on the way you seem to be holding back a glare in the Colonel’s direction.
“Captain Price, glad you could make it. Take a seat.” John did just that, sitting down in the chair next to yours. Green sat on the other side of a desk.
John had allowed himself a quick glance around the room. This was not the set up of a temporary office. Awards were hung, pictures, books on the shelf. John had been in this office two weeks ago. It was bare aside from a shelf, desk, and chairs. There was nothing. This was set up quickly, and with how much there was, it’s not something that’s planning to be taken down. John thought you moving in with them was changing it so they would be watching your back, helping you through what you need. Green wouldn’t be monitoring you anymore. They would, because they were your pack. But Green is still here. John didn’t like that. It put a weird taste in his mouth.
“Care to tell me what this is about now, Colonel?” John asked, not letting the weird taste show in his voice. He would be civil, even if the alpha in him wants to tell Green to piss the fuck off.
“Of course. You walked in at the perfect time. Hawk and I were just talking about how with all these new adjustments, it might be a good idea to get them talking to someone who can help them relearn pack life as an omega.”
“Okay…?” John didn’t exactly understand what he was doing here. Was he really just called down here so he could be told you’re going to be in therapy? That’s it?
“Hawk has… some objections, but this isn’t exactly something we can say no to. It’s what we’ve been told to do.”
“Bull.” John heard you mutter to the side.
“Hawk.” Green said, a strict tone there. You turned your head away, and John could see the way you bit the inside of your cheek to keep your mouth shut. He looked back at Green.
“With all due respect, Colonel, I still don’t understand what this has to do with me. I’m not here to give my permission or anything like that, what they do is up to them.” John knew there were packs out there that worked that way. An alpha is in charge of their omega and everything they do. The idea of being one of those alphas made his fists clench. He couldn’t do that to you. Take away your free will. If that’s what this Colonel expects him to do, then he and John are about to have a long conversation.
“Oh, no, I understand that, Captain. Of course, I’m not trying to imply that they do. However, my bosses do happen to be in charge of me, and I’m, for lack of better words, in charge of Hawk, and I am going to be asking for your help here since you’re living in the same house as them.”
“What are you asking?”
“Jesus Christ, he’s gonna ask you to make sure I go, basically you’re being enlisted as my glorified babysitter.” You turned to Green. “Which I don’t need.”
“Hawk, you know as well as I do that if no one is bringing you there then you won’t go.”
“Maybe that’s because I do not want to go.”
“You’re proving my point.”
“I do not need therapy.”
“I told you not to think of it as therapy. The person you will be seeing is an omega specialist.”
“They’re a shrink.”
“How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling them that?”
“‘Right, ‘right. Is that all?” John interrupted, knowing this back and forth wouldn’t get anyone anywhere. Stopping you did make him a bit disappointed though. After all, this is probably the most he’s heard you speak since you’ve been back. And even though you’re being how you are right now, it’s also the first time John has seen you show some emotion that isn’t total anger. He can deal with some sarcasm and pettiness. At least it was something.
“Yes. Can I go now?” You said. Green shook his head.
“Actually, there is one more thing.” You sighed, shaking your head.
“There’s always one more thing.” You muttered, turning your head away once more. John looked at the Colonel.
“What is it?” Green paused, taking a breath.
“Well, as I mentioned, my bosses are basically trying to make the transition to pack life easier for Hawk. The first thing they are doing is hiring this omega specialist, who will be moving into that small, empty building near your pack house.” John knew which building he was referring to. It was about 30 meters from the pack house, nothing special about it. The idea of it being occupied by another person is a bit weird, but John can deal with it if it will help you.
“What’s the second?” John asked.
“Well, that’s the main reason you were called in, actually. This is something that will probably have a much bigger impact on Hawk, and by extension you and your pack.” You unfolded your arms, looking back at Green. John could see the suspicion in your eyes. He didn’t know where this was going, and it seemed neither did you. But you didn’t like it.
“What’s the point, Colonel?” You asked. Your tone is less angry than before. You hide it well, but John could hear the slight worry in your tone. Where was the Colonel going with this?
“Alright. I’ll just say it straight out.”
Your face shifted automatically when the Colonel said his next words. John didn’t even know what to say, too shocked and confused to properly form words.
“You’re being taken off of your heat supressants.”
When you reach a genuine flow state while writing, get over hundreds of words in, only to then realize that nothing that you wrote fits into the story you've been writing and there is absolutely nowhere you can squeeze it in
