Down the Rabbit Hole

“And the rest is rust and stardust.”

[rizatriestoblog]

batanes

[nauticalneurotic]

Stay away from people who make you feel like you are hard to love.

@

[observando]

Do not fall in love with people like me. I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.

Caitlyn Siehl (via observando)

[wordsnquotes]

belgard

(noun) An obsolete word, belgard is defined as a sweet or loving look. Although it is quite a strange sounding word, a belgard displays a silent intimacy. Classic signs of this display of affection involve tilting your head at your loved one when they speak, the coquette raise of the eyes, a smile, and a kind, amorous glance. We don’t want to ruin the moment, but we are also positively certain your dog stares at you like this too!  (via wordsnquotes)

[wallflower-musings]

Sure, I’m sad, but I’m not looking to soothe that sadness by replacing it with a new relationship. Women are allowed to be sad, and they’re allowed to be single, and they don’t need to hear that one day a man is going to make it all go away by telling her she is good enough again. She’s good enough as she is.

Charlotte Green, Stop Telling Me I’ll Fall In Love Again (via wallflower-musings)

[rizatriestoblog]

in that moment

That lump on my chest is building up, everything all at once. 

How can someone be in this position and expect to survive?

How someone can be happy and be sad all together?

How you can love someone and be so convince its all over?

And in that moment you're just waiting for the next blow to hit you.

A blow that you've been waiting to be hard and painful and can destroy you for you to realized that its really is over.

[weltenwellen]

It is in these moments of tender and ridiculous nostalgia that I know something inside me is still broken.

Steve Almond, My Life in Heavy Metal: Stories (via splitterherzen)

[averno-averno]

I am much better on paper.

Jared M. (via remnantsofapoet)

[kushandwizdom]

If you gotta force it, just leave it alone. Relationships, friendships, ponytails.. Just leave it.

Reyna Biddy (via perfect)

[rizatriestoblog]

too much pain

how in the world can someone say they love you and they care for you but continue to hurt, disrespect, humiliate you every fucking time.

[keepclassy]

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face she inquired, “How heavy is this glass of water?” The answers called out ranged from 8oz to 20 oz. She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If i hold it for a minute, its not a problem. If i hold it for an hour, i’ll have an ache in my arm. If i hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer i hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “The stress and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them for a big longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed - incapable of doing anything.” Always remember to put the glass down.

Best thing I’ve heard all day. (via rauchwolken)

[rizatriestoblog]

the story

So he kissed me, and I responded. And then I woke up thinking how much I regret it and how much I want to do it again. I didn't talked to him for almost a week because I was confused and I didn't know what to follow? what I feel will make me happy or what I think will destroy me. I didn't love him that much but I was lonely and sad and alone and I thought having him around my neck will make me feel pretty and wanted. And so, I said to him that I want him and him alone not knowing if I was sure. 

I fell as days and weeks and months went by thinking this could be the worst thing I can do with myself and how much I feel love and happiness. I keeping thinking if I get enough happiness to last a lifetime I can move on and let this go. But I was greedy and I can't let go. And so I let myself further down the rabbit hole thinking this is way better than up there because for once I am loved and cared and wanted and for me nothing absolutely nothing mattered.

But in a blink of an eye he changed his mind. He cared about every thing. And he didn't want me anymore. He just stopped and he left me dry and high and with nothing else even respect for myself. And the worst thing is he keeps saying its for the fucking best. How in the world can it be the best when I cry myself every night just to sleep and forget and then remember again how it started, how it changed and how its over. Im not good with sudden stop I prefer slow death and slow breathing and then gone.  I can deal with that. I can ready myself but the thing he did was one moment he was saying "I love you and I want you to be the last person I ever love"  and then here he is saying its fucking over and I fucking want you gone and I fucking want someone else and I fucking want you to forget and I fucking don't care anymore.

I am fucked. In the worst way and I keep thinking he'll read this and he'll say sorry and say I love you. And we'll be okay.  But no. NO! 

I don't want to die, I don't want to die because of him, I don't want myself to be like this just because of a guy. And no matter how much I don't want to be like that kind of girl… I'm slowly turning into one. And I don't known any other way … I'm lost because of a simple fucking kiss I have let to ruin me. 

awful story. just awful. 

[oofpoetry]

This year will take from me the hardened person who I longed to be. I am healing by mistake. Rome is also built on ruins.

Eliza Griswold, from Ruins (via rauchwolken)

[rizatriestoblog]

how do you forget?

It turn out, that the person I gave almost everything forgot. Forgot what he said, forgot how he made me feel. Forgot how he promise to the end. He forgot. And now, how do I forget?

I don't know. All I know is that it takes a year or two to smile again. The kind of smile where you feel alive and happy. It takes tons of goodbyes and bargaining and rejecting and endless hopeless crying. I don't know how really you move on, because every time you try to forget you remember the reason why you want to forget. And you go back again to how it used to be, happy and in-love and indenial and then you cry and sob again and you can't stop. Just like a thread of endless nightmares and hopeful beginnings but it doesn't stop it just goes and goes and goes and it never really comes. 

So how do you really try to forget? May be the answer is you just try. You fail to forget how he speaks your name so gently in your ears like a breath of fresh air? You try real hard. Harder. You fail to forget he's scent of old pine in a really chilly day under the sun? Move… detach your self. You fail to see sense without him? Plan, plan something with some one else. You fail to forget that he doesn't give a damn anymore and that he already moved on? TRY AGAIN and again until you forget or at least become used to it.

Life really does go on and it doesn't stop when you feel like it and mistakes can be corrected or forgotten, either way something else happens. But in the process of forgetting you also have to remember why you are better off forgetting those things because honestly, it speed the whole fucking process. To remember how everything is messed-up, how everything is impossible and how stupid you were to actually believed that it could end with rainbows and wedding bells. Well it doesn't end that way and forgetting is the only thing you can do.

All I can do. 

[rizatriestoblog]

not the worst night

I feel what I feel because maybe I ought to feel them. This happened because this happened. Yes, its not what I deserve but what must happen.I am scarred but I am not broken, I need healing but not saving, I can do that myself thank you every much. What I need is time and patience with my self. This is not the worst night of my life, just a really really messed-up fucked-up and sad night. I'm gonna be okay because honestly, this hurting is way better than not feeling anything at all. 

[thegirlwhocrieswolf]

New book Love & Misadventure now available online from Amazon + Barnes & Nobleand major bookstores including Barnes & Noble, Kinokuniya, Fully Booked, Periplus, Waterstones, Indigo/Chapters + more. 

[writingsforwinter]

I won’t tell you to “man up” because when a heart breaks,

it cracks down the middle in exactly the same place for everybody.

Sometimes the fault line is just a little more jagged than others.

The worst thing you can do right now is run away from home,

because even...