backdated: august 20th, 2019
trigger warning: self-deprecation, anxiety, depression.
the only family he felt he truly had in seoul outside of sophia.
the warm arms he was welcomed into and the words of encouragement and the words of strength. he could feel the kind of support that relieved the anxiety in his mind. the depression he felt himself spiraling into. the desperation he had to want to be better and the confusion as to how to do it were assuaged by gentle words from a wise woman and the girl he loved.
he’d never shown a side of him like this to her mother. yeji had opened the door stunned to see him but the state he was in she was all too familiar with. it was a shame. she shouldn’t have to be. but here he was. but this time it was not him and her arguing until he’d properly hurt her feelings so that he could live in isolation. no, this time they talked.
really talked.
and he spoke with her mother. the fear of being rejected for being so broken and so lost slowly melted away. there was no judgement. just sincere concern and the heart to help. she was there when his parents were not. they both were. he had a place to stay but he denied it even though the offer was always extended. a place to come to for the holidays. a place to have a real meal. their door had always been open but he had always been scared to take it.
now he took it.
there was so much crying and so much pain that spilled from within him that it was alarming for himself how it became like a broken faucet but there was so much of him that knew that this was the chance for him to truly start to take the right steps and if he didn’t cleanse now, it might not ever happen as it was supposed to.
and so he cleansed himself and he let them fill him with the positivity that he needed to replace the negativity with so that he could find that confidence. they couldn’t instill confidence in him. it had to come from within but as he lay next to yeji after the emotionally exhausting weeks he’d had, he had a realization.
even if he was scared, he was ready to start being himself unapologetically.
backdated: august 18th, 2019
trigger warning: self-deprecation, anxiety, depression.
the more time passed while he was on his own the more he began to realize that even if there was no purpose in his life, this was not who he wanted to be.
it took him waking up in his home. bottles littering the floor. bed unmade. clothes haphazard. kitchen completely overrun with pizza boxes and leftover chicken containers. his life felt just as horrid as he felt, the headache accompanying the taste of alcohol on his tongue suffocating him and making him retch. he could remember the words of a guy he must’ve met the night before.
“i’ve never been able to really pick myself back up. been like this ever since.”
they were ominous. they were what he felt that he was going to be. this man had to be close to his late fourties. he was just entering his twenties.
was this how he was going to live for twenty years? was he going to keep making the same mistakes? was he going to keep making the same decisions and ending up in the same position?
was there ever going to be a time where he would be able to pick himself back up and stay that way?
he’d drank to knock the migraine out but as his face was sloppily wiped at, he felt himself jolted. he had to start making progress. he had to become the person he was proud to be. he had to truly be himself in a way that was outside of what he was to be paid to portray or where he felt comfortable.
he needed to start finding ways to be comfortable with himself.
but he didn’t know how.
so he walked and he walked and he walked some more and before he realized it, he was at her front door.
backdated: august 16th, 2019
trigger warning: self-deprecation, anxiety, depression, self-destruction.
he couldn’t take it.
he was suffocating inside of his own head. he couldn’t see in front of himself anymore and everything deep within himself just felt so empty. he’d had goals in the mgas.
be confident. be clever. be cute. be sexy. make yourself stand out.
he had goals at work.
take this to table two. take this to table four. deliver this here. take this there.
the part of himself that was filled up with the expectations others had of him was now empty and what was he to live for if that didn’t mean trying to fit himself into someone else’s mold? always be flexible. be a chameleon. adapt and adjust. versatility is what will make you great. his greatest compliments came from when he followed directions.
but there was no direction. there was no guidance. there was no one telling him that this would be the best thing for himself and he was sent into a crippling panic.
his life was meaningless and he didn’t know how to exist without guidance.
he felt dependent and he felt weak and he felt insecure, lost, cold...
he was shutting down.
that shell he was breaking out of by speaking his mind in the mgas unlike he had before... confessing his feelings to yeji... making friends with those he might not have spoken to otherwise... that shell returned and it was reinforced. he’d block everything out and find his distractions the best he knew how.
he wouldn’t think about it anymore. no more stardom. no more friends. no more... yeah, no more yeji. he couldn’t take failing like that again. he was losing himself. vernon was worth nothing on his own and therefore deserved nothing.
so he’d take away all the things that made him happy until there was nothing left.
backdated: august 13th, 2019
trigger warning: self-deprecation, anxiety, depression.
he wasn’t even outside so why was his face so wet?
he’d wipe and he’d wipe and he’d rub his cheeks until they were raw to keep them dry but with each tear wiped away, a new stream started.
everyone was so fucking sure of themselves. everyone knew what they wanted. they had such drive and such fervor. such dedication. such passionate confidence that when they stood on stage they were truly meant to be on that stage and that those companies would miss out if they did not sign them. that spotlight was something they were fighting for so that they could showcase themselves.
how was he ever supposed to be in a spotlight as himself?
he’d never done it. not once.
he always acted as someone else. felt someone else’s emotions. cried someone else’s tears. he studied using someone else’s methods. took someone else’s tests. learned someone else’s language. he wore someone else’s clothes. posed how someone else told him to. posted when the contract someone else wrote for him said to. he smiled when his father would and he made small talk with those his father would approve of.
his life was never about vernon.
because vernon was not someone who was supposed to be in the spotlight.
vernon wasn’t someone who was supposed to act or rap or model. no. he wasn’t someone who was supposed to go after these things because these things were wrong for him and what he needed to focus on were the things that other people told him that he needed to focus on. why would he want to leave? why did he leave?
stupid, stupid, stupid.
who even was vernon? because he had no fucking idea.
vernon was the one who drank so that he didn’t have to think about the cubicle he called home. he was the one who didn’t leave his home for days on end and kept the blinds shut to keep himself locked away from the smiles of everyone outside. were they even real smiles? he was the one that slept for hours upon hours upon hours because being asleep and being drunk when he woke up made it so much easier to find the reason for why someone like vernon hansol chwe was such a royal fuck up because he was really starting to realize something.
he had no idea what the fuck he was doing anymore.
backdated: august 7th, 2019
trigger warning: self-deprecation, anxiety, depression.
a delivery boy.
the night air was cooler than it was during the daytime but even the gentle breeze wasn’t something that gave him peace. he was trapped. locked in his head. how many missed calls did he have? the number of text messages alone.... they were sweet but.. those encouraging him for future endeavors? no, they didn’t understand. it was all a fever dream and where he sat on his bike waiting for the next notification from his work phone as to where his delivery would head to next, there was familiarity in this. familiarity in all of this. the itchy cotton uniform shirt with the hat that made the dark mess of curls he kept concealed askew, the faint smell of chicken that never quite seemed to go away even after his nightly shower until the morning.
no, this was what it was. this was what he was.
a delivery boy.
so many times the thoughts of regret slipped in. had he just listened to his father he could have been something, someone amazing. someone just like him. someone with influence and purpose and meaning in their life. but he threw it away. and for what?
freedom?
what good was this freedom shit if all it brought was failure? there was nothing to look forward to.
he couldn’t do anything right. his acting interfered with school. he stopped. his grades were stained with low a’s and high b’s which put his chances of getting into seoul national university of law at risk. he was a failure. his rapping was a distraction and took his focus away from improving his 94% GPA. he had to exist in private. bmx was dangerous and reckless. his bike was sold. all the choices he was allowed to make in his free time were ones that interfered with the picture his parents had drawn. so he broke out of their frame to try to live in the museum they kept him from.
turns out he was just a painting collecting dust in the basement.
his future had been drawn out for him and he had been stupid to give it up and now look at where it got him. struggling to make ends meet -- the mgas took away so much time from work for him and the endless shifts really began to melt into one another -- and settling back into the civilian routine that he was going to have to get used to. he’d rejected the glitz and glamour his parents had put into play for him and he’d lost it at the mgas. this was him.
a delivery boy.
it never felt right anyways... the makeup artists complimenting his features. the stylists measuring his proportions and approving his physique. the acting coaches commending his natural talent at his auditions. if he didn’t have the last remaining muscle relief patch stuck to his thigh with the sticky adhesive, he might’ve believed that the mgas never even happened.
no... no, this was much better.
yeji was doing brilliantly on the mgas and she was going to go far, he knew it. he anticipated it. he cheered her on for it. and the others that he met would go on to do the great things that they were meant to do. maybe he’d get lucky and cater one of their debut showcases down the line. wouldn’t it be funny? ‘remember that one time we stood on stage together? yeah...’
good times.
maybe that was what he was meant to do. a friend to the stars and a quiet presence in life. not everyone was made into a star and there were reasons for that. he’d spent so long chasing the spotlight that maybe the spotlight was turning itself off for him because it was not where he was meant to be. maybe he needed to stop. maybe he needed to settle into what he was meant to be. maybe he just needed to accept the fact that vernon hansol chwe was not an actor. he wasn’t an influencer. he wasn’t a model. he wasn’t a fucking idol.
backdated: august 3rd, 2019
trigger warning: self-deprecation, anxiety, depression.
he couldn’t not think about it. it was all he could think about and it consumed him.
he was cursed. had to be. it was the only thing that made sense to him. how was it that each and every time he walked a path where he felt that he was becoming more like himself that he faced more failure and disappointment than when he was pretending to be someone else? how was it that when he looked in his father’s eyes and saw an unrecognizable reflection that he got the most praise? how was it that being vernon always equated to being a disappointment?
he didn’t care about the fact that it was on national tv. in fact he didn’t care about the fact that he didn’t even have much screen time. he wasn’t a variety personality, he knew that. his agent always told him. he had his face and it was a nice saving point, she’d said. there had to have been some truth to her words. he made good money from his sponsors after all. but he didn’t even care about the fact that he could no longer perform in the competition because making it as far as he did -- semi-finals.. wow... -- already was more of an accomplishment than he had anticipated.
he’d gone into the mgas with the mindset that he would explore and that he would look into what the other side of the entertainment industry felt like. he wanted to experiment and see just how far his acting skills would take him and for as far as he had gotten when each episode felt like the last, he’d forever remain grateful that he had managed to do as well as he did... or at least he thought that he did well. but apparently... apparently whatever waited for him on the other side of the industry was something that he was not meant to have.
he’d performed a song that he felt truly down to his bones.... and he was eliminated.
why was everything that was so close to him always so fucking wrong?
he didn’t even have the heart to speak to the rest of the team for long. he’d acted for years but he wasn’t a decorated actor just yet. the pain... that creeping pain that always sat at the back of his mind that he buried deeper and deeper each time he felt it inching its way back rattled his thoughts and the smile he was so well trained to keep -- that smile that his agent called his money maker, the one that booked him photoshoots -- it was cracking under the pressure, under the weight of his mind.
he couldn’t take it. he had to go.
he’d come up with some excuse about having to go let his job know that his schedule would be returning to normal and that he’d be in touch. he had no intention. he didn’t want to talk to anyone. it wasn’t out of jealousy. the same way he felt himself crumbling inside of his mind, he could express that as joy for those he saw working their hardest to put their best foot forward every week and... yeji. she was going to the finals. he couldn’t be more proud of her and he wanted to celebrate with her but... he needed some time to breathe. he needed to get his head right.
also part of vernon’s development is going to end up with him having a roommate(s) so i mean... what’s good? y’all trying to live with a damaged boy or nah?
going through my rpthreadtracker to get a better idea of what threads i owe and like..... everything is from a month ago or more. so i’m just going to consider all of his threads dropped unless someone who had one with him tells me otherwise / wants to plot again because everything is just as outdated for their muse as it is for vernon and it wouldn’t make sense really.
i’m working on a series of solos to post for him tonight to give a good idea of where he is right now but as of right now, vernon is totally open to plotting and totally open to starters so while i message those who liked his last post for a plotting message to get things going, feel free to use this one too to let me know.
i have been very mia because i’ve been super busy highkey with my online classes but they are completely over as of last friday! i worked a lot this week but now that vernon is free from the mgas ( AND DEVASTATED HAHAHAHhaha ) i need to get back into his daily life and relationships and such so i need to establish some things / refresh his old relationships / build on the ones he was just able to create over the course of the mgas plus all the new muses / muns—
tldr;
i’ve missed a lot of shit so i mean LIKE IF YOU WANT TO PLOT / INTERACT WITH VERNON, YES? yes? pls...?
i have been very mia because i’ve been super busy highkey with my online classes but they are completely over as of last friday! i worked a lot this week but now that vernon is free from the mgas ( AND DEVASTATED HAHAHAHhaha ) i need to get back into his daily life and relationships and such so i need to establish some things / refresh his old relationships / build on the ones he was just able to create over the course of the mgas plus all the new muses / muns—
tldr;
i’ve missed a lot of shit so i mean LIKE IF YOU WANT TO PLOT / INTERACT WITH VERNON, YES? yes? pls...?
i find it amazing how you can be busy but still handle rkchwev! i love him a lot, he's such a lovely muse ^^ you seem so fun to plot with so hopefully we can plot in the future ~
[[ this is... so SWEET!! omg thank you so much!! i’m barely hanging in there lemme tell you BUT i really love him and i’m trying to keep him hanging in there LOL i put up a plotting post for him now that he’s out of the mgas and like i have time to dedicate to being on him so if you wanted to plot i am totally down but thank you so much!! i like really needed to hear that tbqh.
i have been very mia because i’ve been super busy highkey with my online classes but they are completely over as of last friday! i worked a lot this week but now that vernon is free from the mgas ( AND DEVASTATED HAHAHAHhaha ) i need to get back into his daily life and relationships and such so i need to establish some things / refresh his old relationships / build on the ones he was just able to create over the course of the mgas plus all the new muses / muns—
tldr;
i’ve missed a lot of shit so i mean LIKE IF YOU WANT TO PLOT / INTERACT WITH VERNON, YES? yes? pls...?
“hm... i think for the first time i really got upset this competition. jungeun and jinyoung did not deserve to go home by any means and i think that if there wasn’t so much energy being exhausted into keeping 1/3 of their teams on track on top of their own work that things would not have turned out the way that they did. at this point in the competition, there’s really no call for anyone to be as unfocused as people were last week, especially when other people are relying on you. it’s selfish.”
how was it like working with your team?
“it was definitely an interesting bunch to work with. i had an issue with daniel when we first began because of how things went down last week and i made sure to address it this time around before anything could start. we seemed to get on the same page and i was happy about that because at the end of the day, the team would be relying on us and i wanted to make sure there was clear air between us so that we could practice without a hitch. i think we were able to do that... i mean there was weird awkward air between daniel and woojin which... i didn’t really get because aren’t they in the same band? but overall, everyone was really helpful especially the coaches and woojin for me personally. i took their advice very seriously and i practiced to what was pointed out and to make sure i matched the energy of everyone else as well. sakura also made it really easy by bringing in lunch everyday too. she’s really a great cook. 10 out of 10 recommend!”
how do you think you did?
"i think... it was like i met a song where i was finally in my element. like this is the kind of song i would want if i ever had a choice to perform and not only did i dedicate myself to this one this time around more than i have to anything else, i’m just hoping that everyone else can see how much of myself i put into this performance. i’m really feeling it this week but since it was all for the stage, i don’t have anything to complain about. it was all worth it. i really enjoyed myself on stage this week. my favorite by far.”
another week and he had somehow made it this far. the more time that passed with him in the competition, the more vernon found himself going from passive curiosity to discovering something that he could find passion in. sure, it wasn’t acting but between exploring genres ranging from mellow to upbeat and cute to charismatic to chic and possibly even more to come, vernon felt that being an idol was just as diverse as taking a script and bringing a character to life. idols were in charge of bringing the concept to life and that was something that he was always confident that he could do.
last week having to dance so much to keep up with two amazing dancers was an experience in and of itself but he had managed to hold his own. however he couldn’t get jungeun and jinyoung off of his mind... they had worked so hard too and he couldn’t help the resentment he held towards kenta and towards daniel as a result. the two of them had spent so much time not focusing on their team and what their team needed from them that it got two members who had more fully dedicated themselves vernon felt back home. so when daniels name was called alongside his own to form the group he was in as well as the name of yet another member of this band.... vernon was less than pleased to say the least.
here we go again.
he thought this constantly as the day drew nearer. he saw it already even before it could begin. he was excited about the coaches seeing as he was a fan of convex and they had the advantage of having a coach who had been in the mgas before so there was also that experience and relatability they could all foster from as a team to do their absolute best but he had to address what he knew was going to be an elephant in the room.
daniel.
the moment he was able to see daniel and approach him, vernon seized the opportunity before practice could even begin on their first day. he had to get what he had off of his chest and clear the air as soon as possible for the sake of the team and for the sake of their relationship. “i wanted to talk to you because i didn’t want there to be an odd air between us and i wanted to be up front so that we could get any weird tension out of the way. i have to admit that based off of last week working with your team in the same room that i did start to feel rather annoyed and put off by both you and kenta because of all the joking around. i don’t doubt that you guys can work hard but i really didn’t see too much of it last week and i gotta admit going into that it’s really concerning me and i don’t want my opinion of you to be jaded when we’re supposed to be a team. i want this to work out well for all of us and i guess.. i’m just questioning how committed you are to actually working towards the same goal. i don’t want to feel negatively towards you and i want to work hard alongside you and help you if i can... i’m here for you so i’m just asking that you also be here for us too.” he seemed to have gotten through to daniel who also had the same agenda for himself as well and having been able to have that talk and clear the air between them definitely gave vernon the comfort to be able to go into their practices feeling as if this week would be significantly less stressful than last week was. at least he hoped.
jinwook, jinki and hojung as their coaches was definitely a match made in heaven. vernon, being a fan of convex, was able to learn so much from them as they highlighted to him the importance of what to focus on in the performance with charisma playing a large part as well as the advice he received from jinki about his rapping and focusing on pronunciation was definitely something he took to heart. he enjoyed the praise for his dancing skills and with dance quickly growing to be something he was starting to love just as much as acting, he took the moments where woojin went over the choreography with the group very seriously. with muscle relief patches plastered to his skin shown beneath his shorts that he practiced in over his knees and some pressed to the backs of his biceps, he took into account the advice he received and tried to apply it into each practice.
when he was dancing, he watched himself like a hawk in the mirror, using the time he had at his dance classes at night to focus on problem areas with his dance coach as well as taking his water breaks as semi-regular intervals to keep himself hydrated and energized in order to keep up with the moves. this dance -- while still mellow thanks to their lack of dancers this week -- had its precision and he wanted to honor that as he was advised to keep his lines clean. the rap for him was one that he practiced constantly -- a pen placed in his mouth to practice pronunciation as used by foreigners who were first learning korean -- and he used his dance practice to go over his lines each time his verse came out but this time he was also met with a new challenge.
he would be center in the chorus on multiple occasions.
he was excited. this song far more suited him than did his dance the previous week and he had learned to feel at home in retro future but to be able to be in a performance where his charisma -- his strongest skill -- could shine was something that he wasn’t going to take lightly. like an actor practicing a monologue in the mirror to emote, he watched himself in the mirror as he danced and monitored his facial expressions and experimented with them to see what he felt suited him best and what suited the song best. he was non-stop and his muscles felt it but he did not want to drag himself nor his teammates down going into this. it helped that sakura prepared bento boxes each day, the crafted lunches so unique each day and perfectly packaged for them giving him the strength that he needed in order to keep himself going.
he was totally in love with this concept and it showed.
he practiced his lines incessantly especially those he was responsible for in the chorus in order to keep the atmosphere of the song afloat and the dance was one he worked on with pointers from woojin and his dance coach in mind as well as the coaches from sphere so that he could focus on fixing what they felt was lacking to make the practice that he was able to get meaningful. a few of the muscle relief patches on his thighs turned to two or three of pain relief as he worked to get the power and cleanliness jinki had advised.
“All eyes are on you wherever you go, which is good and bad. You’re like a firecracker waiting to explode. What I am worried about is that since you have such a strong stage presence, everything you do will be watched further like a hawk.”
those words continued to ring around in his consciousness throughout the week of practice because if that was the case then he would have a lot to prove when his charisma was being put to the test. it was his strongest asset and if there was a song that he had to show it, it would be this one and he didn’t want to be scrutinized over minor mistakes. he wasn’t necessarily feeling the pressure of being in the semi-finals but instead he wanted to feel the pressure against himself to improve. he knew that he had a lot in him that he wanted to show and with jinki’s words sitting forever in the back of his mind as he practiced whether he was rapping through the pen he kept clasped between his teeth or when it was well past 4am and he was in the studio staring himself down in the mirror to criticize himself or later on those mornings when he was back with the team to practice alongside them and sync himself to the best dancer in their group, vernon didn’t let a single moment go to useless practice.
all of this was a learning experience and for once he was enjoying studying.
----
when the day came, vernon felt that he came prepared. he had lived, breathed, ate and slept this song for the entire week and his body showed it beneath the outfit he wore. to have gone from dancing semi-regularly to an almost frequent basis, his body had toned out and though there were areas that had aches and pains here and there, he knew for sure that his body was adjusting and the more he found himself enjoying the dance, the less exhausted he felt. maybe it was psychological or maybe it was physiological but going into dances, he didn’t feel daunted but instead he felt motivated.
he would let the energy the team had created fuel him and confidently display the role that he had made his own.
he started their introduction off with their practiced greeting, a smile far brighter than the expression he would later display directed at the camera and at the judges before they were soon taking their spots.
this was it.
he was ready.
----
he took his position, daniel starting the song off and getting him to snap into position from the moment his head raising his eyes smoldering with the sexiness that jinwook had emphasized during their practice, the easy rocking of the song something he had gotten a lot of practice in doing during last week during retro future. he worked to make sure every move had purpose as he had practiced in the same way he gave focus to his rap to give purpose to each word, the emphasis he learned from his dance coach and the precision he learned from watching woojin and keeping himself as clean as possible as per the way jinki recommended he did had him performing with practiced confidence.
he let the tension of the dance release and follow throughout his body, tightening as he needed as the first half of the performance was primarily dominated by the rest of the team as the song was very vocal heavy which meant he had to make up for his lacking vocals in other ways by way of his dance and performing to his strength flawlessly. he carried that weight on his shoulders throughout the week of practice and the dedication he put into what he had to show displaying itself in the naturalness he was able to achieve in comfort of the dance. he wasn’t fighting to keep up with the moves. even with his pain relief patches on his sides beneath his shirt, the adrenaline drowned out the faint aches as his body responded on muscle memory to what he committed himself to.
the song was chic and sexy with charisma being the key to drawing the audience in and because of this he paid attention to details. the soft flow of his fingers as they fell from the sky during the chorus, the flow of his arms as they were guided by sakura, the easy and sexy confidence meant to tempt the audience and seduce them in the way his hips rolled into low thrusting step forward, the tension he had to keep in the isolations of his neck and hands in the build up before the chorus.
he snapped back into position as he rejoined the dance formation, the residual commitment to his dance that he was steadily building up as the song continued on not abandoned as his arms snapped round both ways with his knees coming in before bringing everything in all together, the sharpness jinki had coached him into giving him the power he wanted in the moves, his body turning in on itself before his arms rose and he was thrown into a spin that he stopped to slide into his position. his arms flowed into the dance and as he stuttered to the ground as per the dance and slid across to stand for the pre-chorus, he did not feel the exhaustion he might have once felt so that when he finally met the chorus, he was like a fish in water.
She’s a
Movie movie star
너와의 모든 게
꿈같아 이 순간
[VN/JH] She wants it
[VN/JH] She wants it
the lyrics flowed down his body in the same way his hands drew themselves down his torso as his foot kicked out, his head dropping back to come forward with a snap, his eyes on the camera, his feet turning out to rock him side to side smoothly as his deep brown eyes were ablaze beneath his slightly tousled front bangs, the deepness of his voice suiting the seductive whisper talk of the chorus as he taunted the audience before him. he took the step forward, his hand coming round his head to bring his hair back slightly as he pushed into the provocative move, his eyes channeling the seductiveness within him as he did not shy away from overt thrust before he set himself back with practiced steps, harmonizing with joohyuk for the final lines with his deep voice allowing for joohyuks more trained one to take the brunt of the notes. singing was not his forte and it never would but it was the way he could talk his way through his lines that had him deliver them with confidence, his tone rising as his strength as he had practiced his lines.
the changing bridge of the song welcomed moves that were more precise than they were difficult so that as he rode the timing of the song, he was able to rock into the dance before he burst forth for where he shone best.
내게 다가 온
이 운명의 고리
다 정해져 버린 듯 해
우리 길이
Lights, Camera, Action!
짜여진 direction
이끌린 채
여기로 달려왔어 uh
his voice projected with the same powerful enunciation he became known for, the very first word leaving his mouth rapped into his microphone matching the passionate sexiness of the song as his deep voice gave it a raw impact that he had fine tuned into his moves, the words just as enunciated and pronounced as his dance, the practice he did with the pen between his teeth having helped to keep his words clear as he snatched the air in front of him to drag his team behind him into place, his body rolling deeply towards the camera as his head rolled round to look into it with the same smoldering look in his eyes that he never lost, his rocking movements forward dropping his head backwards before he looked to the judges as he stepped back, the foot that kicked out to let sakura into her place drawing his body back and tossing his hair back dramatically as he adopted his role back into dancing, his body flowing into the moves before jerking forward as though stopped, rocking backwards, the prechorus appearing once more as he found his spot at the center once more for the chorus, the building passion he felt radiating as he felt the members side stepping out behind him, the audience tempted towards him as he beckoned them forth, the slight sweat coming down his neck showing his hard work, his hands coming together to snap his neck round as he bit his lip on the deep thrust iconic of the chorus, his hair pushed back before he snapped back into position.
She’s a
Movie movie star
너와의 모든 게
꿈같아 이 순간
[VN/DN] She wants it
[VN/DN] She wants it
the prechorus took over once more and it flowed within him, his moves coming as though they were his most natural ones next to the actual chorus and once the dance break began, he focused all of the passionate energy that had been building up since the beginning burst forth as the lines in english were by far the easiest ones he had the whole song and with the way he threw himself into the dance, the song once again consuming him as it did in practice, he did not leave the emotion out from his words as he recited his lines. he had followed woojin closely for the dance break as it was their dancers time to shine and he wanted the other to be as in his element as possible while looking good, his hands coming round his head as his body rolled, his eyes casting off to the camera, the second half of moves bursting forth from him as he had practiced with specific focus on hitting the correct angles, his body sliding into the moves as the formation shifted with ease powered by the ache in his thighs, his chest popping before he turned to roll his body all the way down, his hand following the wave, sliding forward to pop his chest out once more before turning and gathering his hands together to step back into the final position where he stood front and center, his last lines delivered with deep brown eyes set in pools of fire as his chest rose and fell heavily, the sweat down the side of his face shown as he held his position, eyes not shying from the camera as he spoke, his head tilting invitingly.
You wanna play with me?
I wanna play with you
You wanna play with me?
I wanna play with you
"as usual, its pretty sad to see people going home but its almost becoming more pressure for the people who are still remaining because they have a lot more to prove to see just how worthy they are of keeping their spot. i didn’t really expect them to bring anyone back this time around but it was a really nice thing of them to do. if not for that i would’ve never met jinyoung and honestly... he seemed pretty chill. also sia did great as usual so i’m not surprised that she won. congrats to her! she definitely deserves it.”
how was it like working with your trio?
“it was really hard at first. kenta.... was a lot for me to take in. he’s not someone that i would usually see myself getting involved with just because our energies are totally different and jungeun i already knew from social media because we follow each other on instagram and she seemed really nice then so it was nice seeing that that was actually true. but i mean after working through some things.. we got along fabulously. i did get pretty frustrated with kenta before i could understand him because i mean... his band seems to be really close and it was frustrating seeing him get so distracted when we had to focus but when we all got on the same page, practice was amazing. i was really lucky to have the two of them so i really hope i did them proud and i hope i did my fans proud.”
how do you think you did?
"i hope i did good. like i really hope i did. i worked so hard to get that dance down that i am literally covered in these muscle relief patches and these icy hot patches at night dance classes, in the mirror at work, with kenta, with jungeun, with any time that i had whenever i possibly could to try to get it down because i really am an amateur in comparison to jungeun and kenta when it comes to dance so i really tried my hardest not to bring them down so i hope i did them proud and was able to show them, and the judges, just how much i tried. that’s all i want them to see. and.... honestly, i had fun with it.”
jacobvanloon
germansingergirl
theartofmadeline
snowghoul
titsay
izzy806