고백해 :: hyotake
They never quite discussed the ambiguity of their relationship, at least not openly, or honestly. While both of them had big dreams, ones they had probably spent days, weeks, even years planning and envisioning step by step, they failed to address the future of their friendship. When it came to the two of them, suddenly their version was only near-sighted, at least for Hyosung it was that way. She could only see the here and now, and deflected any thoughts about things changing in the future. She had no plans of changing them from her side, but she would entirely respect it if Takeru decided to move on and set some boundaries back into their relationship… even if the mere thought of that happening left her curling up into a ball in bed before falling asleep, she’d still act accordingly to what best suited him. For the time being, she simply hoped that such a day when they’d finally face the consequences of their recklessness wouldn’t come by so soon. (That is, if it were to go that way, and they didn’t somehow end up together because of a bet or a challenge uttered in their playful, and even flirty, banters. Something like how she was ready to kiss him on the night of that gory movie simply to prove herself right.)
It was impossible for her not to register the change in his features. Even the shapes he drew with his finger, that she hadn’t consciously noticed before, were clearly noticed when they stopped. Her time with Luhan we bitter-sweet, and more so bitter at the end of it. They started off as good friends, then best friends, and then they started dating, and it was mostly good. She genuinely believed he loved her, the way worry would latch onto his features whenever she had one of her heart episodes, the fact that he knew of her family situation, and of the biggest regret in her life, and still accepted her with them, she loved him with her whole heart. But by the time of their break-up, she wasn’t entirely sure anymore. His nonchalance, (that had always been somewhat there), was intensified in her eyes close to the end, and confirmed once she snapped at him, and he never bothered to contact her after it. It took every bit of bravery she could muster to break up with him, and for months to come, the heart break had left her impaired, even going as far as to affect her test results during her regular physical checkups.
Takeru was there to witness it all, and knowing how close the two were while keeping in mind how short tempered he was, she didn’t expect him to react lightly to the matter, but she wasn’t sure what to expect either. She had no specific reason for doing it, but she found herself shifting a tad closer, her hand sliding up over his back, and resting just over his shoulder blade. She swallowed slowly, having averted her eyes before looking up at him once more, “Well… his message said ‘Happy birthday, Hyo. I hope you’re having a good one.’” She restated the text verbatim. After having read it over and over to make sure she wasn’t imagining, the words were engraved to her mind. “I didn’t expect him to have my number, quite honestly…” She stated absently. “And I mean… I was anything but friendly with him when I ran into him in the hospital the other day.” She had forgotten she hadn’t mentioned her encounter with Luhan in the hospital’s elevator to Takeru. That day, she wanted to pick up the phone and rant so severely… but she also forgot what stopped her from doing so.
He felt as if he were slowly reaching the point where his kettle of tea would screech as it reached its limit but after a lifetime of having such a temperamental nature he'd begun to be able to find ways to divert it. Focusing on the closeness of their bodies as she drew closer and the warmth it brought with her, her palm small in comparison to his smoothing up his back and to a shoulder. However that cool could not last long. The more she spoke about this man, the angrier he got until once again new information was added. He jerked away as if her words had physically struck him, his eyes bearing down on her as if she'd just admit to murder. Why did she not tell him this? He knew secrets still remained between them and he was okay with that. This he was not. Maybe he was right. Maybe she was going to try again. His heart shattered, her words barely processing to him as he pulled himself from his position and sat up, hands cupping the back of his head as he sighed heavily. These feelings... the feeling of having someone slip right between your fingers and the irrational train of thought it illicited was perhaps the exact thing he was warned about. She was never his to begin with so why did it feel like he was losing her? "You saw him in the hospital too? Why didn't you tell me?" She didn't have to report to him about her life as it was a privilege to be allowed so intimately into hers but the words were just spilling from him as he fought to try to put a cap on the natural disaster that was going on inside of him. "You know he's your ex. What about us?" There was a millisecond pause following that slip, his ears flushing as he added on quickly in hopes she did not catch it. "We can't carry on like this if you're seeing him again...you're not, are you?" He prayed to God she wasn't, his eyes meeting hers for validity. A feeling of possessiveness washed over him lightly, a feeling he found unfair. She wasn't bound to him by any laws or unwritten rules but he didn't want anyone else to have her. Dropping his hands back into his lap, he awaited her answer, his heart pounding in his chest as he anticipated the response, the anxiety reaching his eyes even if it did not show elsewhere.
