a character study of anders
Anders likes to think that once, quite possibly a long time ago, he was a man who was whole. The original version of him, before all of this, before everything came and picked him apart like carrion vultures. Before breaking him down and building him back up again, but wrong. New pieces that didnāt quite fit, forced to bend and never shatter.
When he tries to remember that man ā that boy, really ā the images are hazy. Distant. Obscured by what heās endured since then.
It started that long ago, didnāt it? The shift from man to mage, the first piece of him changed irrevocably. It was never an issue, until it was. Until it became a way to identify him, and a reason to fear him.
He has never been ashamed of being labeled a mage. He let it fuel him, define him. People would throw the title in his face like it was meant to hurt, but it was always a matter of pride.
But thatās the catch, isnāt it? Mages arenāt supposed to feel pride. The Chantry would have everyone believe that emotions such as pride opened them up to the chance of a demon slipping in, corrupting the Mageās weakness to their own end.
Anders knew the truth: Pride let Mages feel like they werenāt objects to be controlled.
So the Circle took his freedom and turned it into a weapon to be used against him. The templars took that word and only then did he begin to hate it. Mage. Always just one step away from Apostate. From a danger to himself and others.
And that label, Apostate, was hurled with more force and venom. That was the word to be afraid of. It promised punishment, it promised bars on his cage, it promised masters when he wanted none.
This is the fic I wrote for the @roadtotheimperium zine this spring! copies are now on their way out, so weāve been given the greenlight to post our pieces :)Ā
Thank you to the mods for organizing, and I had a tremendous amount of fun writing this!!