All Aboard The Hot Mess Express

enjoy

[so-much-for-subtlety]

[dragon-in-a-fez]

accidentally said "invasive thoughts" instead of "intrusive thoughts" today and actually I think I'm onto something. this thought does not belong here and it is harming the local ecosystem

[himynameisemail]

[boycritter]

"unbecoming" is such a great word. bro that shit was so rude you no longer Are

[nyanletnest]

[zangoonse]

i love the phrase "cruel and unusual." not only is what you're doing mean but it's also quite frankly fucking bizarre

[loverboyfae]

ask not for whom the bell peppers

[depsidase]

[doublesontundra]

I’d enjoy some four person “tennis” in “Antarctica”, if you’ll pardon the doubles on tundra

[podcastwizard]

some royal jewels were stolen from the louvre which is unfortunate for historical reasons but you gotta appreciate a classic crime. so many crimes are online these days it’s nice to see heist culture is still alive

[darkcomedies]

still believe that one of the greatest bits of all time was on January 6th, 2021 when. well. you know. and twitter was understandably an echo chamber of panic and fear and Justin McElroy just tweeted a selfie with a filter that was like “have a delicious national spaghetti day” followed by 3 tweets that were like “fuck. i’m sorry. i don’t know how to delete scheduled posts” and as i type this two years later i’m laughing

[darkcomedies]

a belated delicious national spaghetti day to you all

[evilscientist3]

Passed my autopsy with flying colours. There was so much inside me

[cryptid-corpse]

You are mentally-sexually disordered, and you worship evil spirits

Accurate and I wouldn't have it any other way

[ragsy]

holy mother of god i have GOT to get weirder

[ragsy]

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to be frightening. I still want grandmas to think I'm a nice young lad. I just think it's vital to my health that I am bewildering and slightly indecipherable

[brandneweyescd]

isn't sleeping supposed to cure the tired sleepy? and yet

[roaring-t-rex]

Umm hey girl. I hate to be the one to tell you this but your boyfriend was put into the hydraulic press. yeah he’s in the ASMR video

[urayuli]

i'm sorry i wiggled your skinny boyfriend like a sheet of metal. weeop womp weeoop womp weeeoop womp