[chillxmami]

“I called you”

I know, I watched the phone ring

[draeneis]

someone: coca cola can remove rust from metal imagine what its doing to your body

me: pff getting rid of the rust idiot

[captainlatin]

I fucking hate languages.

The Greeks had this word, right, we have no idea where it came from, it just kinda popped up out of nowhere, and it could mean either apples, cheeks, or boobs. Problem is it looked and sounded *exactly* like another, unrelated word which could mean sheep, goat, or any animal in general really, which must have got confusing if you were a farmer talking about your livestock, but anyway…

Then the Romans, having stolen practically everything else from the Greeks, thought they’d nick this word too, because Latin isn’t confusing enough without throwing in a bunch of loan words. And they adopted it to mean a pumpkin.

Then the English came along and were all like “when in Rome”, and stole it, where it became our word ‘melon’. Which has now come back to mean boobs.

How do you like them apples.

[alivannarose]

I fucking love languages.

[comuto-sama]

[fuckthisbloganditscurses]

Happiness Will Come To You.

[12goblins]

when tho

[fuckthisbloganditscurses]

When You Least Expect It. Probably Late March

[wizardshark]

reblog for happiness to come for you in late march!

[lady-feral]

I need more girly things.

You know, like dresses and lacy things and stockings and makeup and battle axes.

[lady-feral]

Side note:  I made a lacy battle axe once.

[starduststarling-deactivated201]

Tbh I think I just found a brand new part of my aesthetic..

[benepla-deactivated20180521]

I’m really sorry that I’m such a bad texter!!!! And a bad e-mailer, call-backer, Skype IMer, discord IMer, tumblr chatter, twitter DMer, Facebook messenger, Friendster friend, friend in general, lover, writer, blogger, farmer,

[powerarmor]

me: humanity is awful i can’t believe this there is no goodness or love

me: life is ok actually and i have a reason to live

[bunney]

if ur hair covers ur boobs u have mermaid hair and u are a mermaid i dont make the rules

[unclewhisky-deactivated20150726]

As a man with a hairy chest, I was very, very confused by this post for about ten seconds.

[sashaforthewin]

You are a mermaid, sir

[doktorexplosion]

@captainbaddecisions

[sarahseeandersen]

[babyanimalgifs]

AMAZING

[kirbychan234]

@arthur-tristan-kingsmen

[motherhenna]

me, holding my newborn child: what are its stats??

[fattyatomicmutant-deactivated20]

Class: Infant Race: human Strength: 0 can barely support own head Agility 0 needs to learn to walk Intelligence: 2, understands that crying brings food, replacement of soiled garments with fresh ones Wisdom 1 no object permanence Charisma: 20 becuase people lose their shit around babies, -1 for each month until Terrible Twos and all Charisma drops to 1.

HP: 2

Spells per day: Cloudkill, Telepathic Summons, Sleep (casts on Self),

Infant fingernails: does +1 cutting/slashing damage

[shampooligan]

i was trying to remember the “live long and prosper” motto from star trek and for a solid 10 minutes the only thing i could think of was “live big and die”

[flightyfinch]

[iammattcohen4real-deactivated20]

#you

[toshio]

[deathbypcy]

person: it was a little mistake! don’t beat yourself up about it

me:

[pondwitch]

cool new tumblr trend : “goodposting”

its when you share fun interesting things in a calm and friendly way

[powerburial]

goodposting example: hey guys, just fucked a bug

[pondwitch]

no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!