6. “DON’T LET ADVERSE FACTS STAND IN THE WAY OF A GOOD DECISION.”
I’m going to pull directly from General Powell’s book for this one. For this rule, he ends by saying: “Whenever I’m faced with a difficult choice, my approach has always been to make an estimate of the situation — a familiar military process: What’s the situation? What’s the mission? What are the different courses of action? How do they compare with one another? Which looks most likely to succeed? Now, follow your informed instinct, decide, and execute forcefully; throw the mass of your forces and energy behind the choice. Then take a deep breath and hope it works, remembering that ‘hope is a bad supper, but makes a good breakfast.’” Excerpt From: Colin Powell. “It Worked for Me.” Apple Books. https://books.apple.com/us/book/it-worked-for-me/id487138181
I’m going to keep it short in sweet, but all in all, I’ve followed this to a T throughout my entire life. I recently made a decision, which I’m excited to share with you all at some point, and I know it was the best one based on “informed instinct.” Now it’s time to execute — with excellence.
Short and sweet. Let’s reevaluate for a longer and more reflective part two in three years. :-)
I always wanted to build solutions to the world’s most pressing challenges — solutions that usually would be technologically driven ones and ways to better and more equitably connect people to one another — or at least that’s how I was thinking in my 20s. But I also wanted to create art — music — in the way that I could see it. That was a dream ever since I could see/hear music. Since before I could remember, there was always this blurred line between art and code for me. But I could do both, right? I definitely was going to do both because Bruce Wayne was real and not a fake comic book character, and he definitely was able to be a normal person and Batman at the same time. 🙄 Near the time I started my first company, I decided to moonlight as a music producer — the person who creates the full audio experience you hear when you listen to a song — and audio engineer — the person who records the artist/musicians and makes sure the takes are butter. Seriously, this happened…I would spend the hours of 5 pm — 9 am in the studio most weekdays and then nearly all of the hours in the day on Saturday and Sunday — when I wasn’t traveling via Fung Wah Bus — which would usually set me back a cool $15 one way to New York and $11 one way back to Philly. Other than the mad rush to be first to board — there wasn’t assigned or guaranteed seating, but at least you knew another was leaving within the hour — I thought it was a very economical and efficient way to get from city to city. The time on the bus also allowed me to create music in my head, transpose the notes on a notepad, identify needed mix fixes on constant playbacks, or jot down notes on who I wanted to meet or how I wanted to approach big/small meetings — pure efficiency coupled with creativity. I was in a state of bliss and creativity — one of the most creative spaces I’ve ever been in my life if I’m honest about it.
But what I didn’t know at the time was that the human body wasn’t meant to stay awake for days on end, nor was it architected to eat like a child left to their own meal choice devices. Mini naps on the bus, and Doritos had my body saying WTF!!!! Toddler… But you couldn’t tell me that I wasn’t going to achieve this dream of being the greatest producer in the world AND keep a full-time day job. I eventually found my way to managing/working out of 4 studios between Philly, NJ, Manhattan, and Brooklyn [[shoutout to the A and L train!]] — my most coveted space was Quad studios, the holy grail of legacy multimillion-dollar studios in the heart of Times Square [[yea, this was definitely the studio Tupac was shot in]]. Also, if I’m honest, I just wanted to find a way to meet J. Cole because I made this fire beat for him, and it would be legendary. This is before most people even knew who he was — I remember discovering him on this mixtape called The Come Up with a bunch of annoying drops from DJ On Point — I think that’s his name. And of course, I found my way to the exact studio where J. Cole would finish his debut album — or so we thought…it actually became the mixtape called Friday Night Lights. There’s this whole thing I can get into about that moment…it worked out like a movie. In reality, there was no way that I would have known it would happen that way. What’s really interesting is this would be one of the first times I realized the power of speaking and willing what I desired into existence — Matrix level shit. Anyway, I digress — the J. Cole story will be told in full another day — I wasn’t paying attention to how I was treating my body and mind. The human body isn’t meant to deal with a nonstop sprint.
As soon as Monday morning hit, I’d jump on a bus and go straight to the office, many times brushing my teeth or washing up in public bathrooms — either at the bus station (yeah, you already know that it was gross) or at a shitty fast food place. I’d change from my fly studio drip to a button-up and slacks — I’d also have my shoes at my desk at work so I wouldn’t have to worry about traveling with them. Efficiency! And there I would be at my 9 to 5 — exhausted and malnourished. Granted, I felt like superman…I mean Batman [[Bruce Wayne, right?]] because I was in my 20s, and I was invincible! Rawr! Smh.
So yeah, this one morning I was headed to work on SEPTA [[Philadelphia’s subway]] coming from my Philadelphia recording studio [[shoutout to DJ Thommy Live]] with my headphones on, listening to a mix from that morning — I can’t remember if I even ate in that last 24 hours — and I started to sweat profusely…like not flop sweat, but full-on raindrops [[no droptops — shout out to the Migos fans]] coming from my head. My heart started to pump, HARD. My vision got blurry. Uh oh… “Just get to my stop…if I make it to work, I can sit down, and everything will be fine”…it wouldn’t. I literally stumbled off the train, stumbled through the Walnut-Locust Station…we all know where this is going. So fast fwd 30 minutes — I’m in the back of an ambulance racing to the hospital. First thought: heart attack. “You idiot, why’d you push yourself that hard?!” I’ll spare you all the rest of the details, but a long story shorter — not a heart attack — I know because I was attached to a shitload of machines and tested like a lab rat. It was definitely a panic attack — which would last nearly the next couple of years, transiently. When I say transient, I mean transient. If I was walking to the store — panic attack. If I was driving and the shadows hit weird — panic attack. About to step on stage to introduce a new product — panic attack. If I was headed into a board meeting — panic attack. Team meeting — panic attack. Boarding a plane? You guessed it — panic attack. WTF! There was so much stress that I had put myself through, my brain was in the perpetual loop of fight or flight. Awesome…
Over time, through meditation, working out, getting my eating habits in order, removing the craziness of living this incredible but kind of secret double life, aligning priorities, and being kind to myself, the panic attacks disappeared…like a flash lightning storm, it was there and gone — I wish it was that quick, but in the grand scheme of things it was. So why bring up tech? I realized that passions could drive you to the ground if you’re not careful with how you approach them. Over the last decade, I’ve been extremely intentional about self-care. I’ve also been intentional about what I do and when I do it. Gone are the days of my secretive double life. Now the days are filled with building and reaching into the future with the understanding that if I put my mind to it, it will probably happen. While I’m dissatisfied with a lot of the world — there’s a bunch of stuff to solve for — I’m satisfied with the clarity I have around where I’m spending my energy. And my choices are measured and guided by a unique set of rules and values to keep me healthy and at my best. I can’t be a great team member and collaborator, and partner if I’m not constantly focused on being at my best. With that intentionality, I’m conscientious about what I choose nowadays because I just may get it!
As privileged as my upbringing was, my journey still started from humble beginnings. As an army brat [[that means one of my parents, in this case, my dad, was in the army]] whose parents worked really hard…my dad, who dedicated his life to service of this country and humanity blazed a trail from grade 01 to beyond a number rank [[IYKYK]]. Mom supported and raised us with her empathy for humanity and brilliance in understanding the nuances of the world.
We moved a bunch…like 14 times or some wild number before I had the opportunity to go to university. Before and throughout High School, I ended up in a small town on the side of a mountain next to a river — seriously lol — in upstate New York — with a fire and drive to ESCAPE…lol..no, but seriously.
Oh yeah, and if you couldn’t tell — I’m Black 🖤. Seriously, if another person asks, “what are you?” 😒 Pop’s family is from the South. Mom’s family is from the Bronx by way of Puerto Rico. I was able to see what access and opportunity could do and see firsthand what it looked like when you didn’t have it. Regardless of it all, I knew that I’d have to fight and push through and take the hits — and I did that — no matter how exhausting it felt. But to this day, I’m so proud of my ENTIRE family and their individual and collective journeys. My grandmother and grandfather came from the Deep South. There are so many happy and empowering stories that I’d like to share at some point…but there are even sadder and angering and troubling ones that they had to overcome just because of the color of their skin. And they worked their butts off and created a standard of excellence that would permeate for generations…literally. They both met and graduated from an HBCU called Virginia State University. My grandfather, of my name, served in the army — fought a couple of wars for this country [[he transitioned earlier this year 😢]] — my grandmother was an English teacher, and one of the most brilliant people I’ve ever known — her command of the English language and knowledge of music is unmatched. Similarly, mi Abuela — grandmother in Spanish — had her own journey [[she was diagnosed with breast cancer 🎗 a few months ago…it looks like we caught it early]]. She made her way to the American mainland by way of Ponce [[did you know that the Median Household Income for this town is $16,561? Probably not. This is what we call perspective.]] with her siblings to chase the American Dream — many of them working labor/cleaning jobs, including mi Titi Eva [[who cleaned rich people’s houses — she transitioned a few months ago 😢]]. Mi Abuela still, to this day, speaks zero English. She worked in factories in the mid-1900s, amongst other jobs. She worked HARD — and I saw firsthand that welfare and food stamps were just a means of survival and support, not a handout like a bunch of privileged people like to say. It gets me pretty upset when people say this handout bullshit.
Of course, these are small pieces to my family and by no means the larger picture. Family/Familia (Gordon, Antonetty, Davis, and Pacheco alike) — I think that’s one of the most important things that this life has shown me — I can point to my family and say that they worked together through all odds as a unit. They individually and collectively made their way through IMPOSSIBLE situations…phew…if I could tell you stories…and maybe I will one day. And the LOVE and SUPPORT that they had around them…sprinkled with some LUCK…that’s also meaningful and important and a lesson in itself. I can say with all humility and gratitude that my grandparents and my parents are my heroes who built a LEGACY that I hope to build upon. As a kid from a town on the side of a mountain next to a river in upstate New York, I look at them all and say that I’m proud of where they came from and where they elevated and that it can be done.
And I love them all here and beyond, always and forever.
3. “AVOID HAVING YOUR EGO SO CLOSE TO YOUR POSITION THAT WHEN YOUR POSITION FALLS, YOUR EGO GOES WITH IT.”
We found so much insight and success on the campaign trail in my early 20’s that you couldn’t tell me a damn thing about New Media Marketing — I cracked the code. In reality, a bunch of us did. And because I was part of that equation, my ego took that moment and made the next all about ME. Ugh…what an asshole.
My first company was supposed to be this great marketing shop developing a cutting-edge app that would merge TheFacebook and Twitter worlds together with incredible insights. And we’d sell this to the biggest names and companies in the world. A CRM for the New Media, now Social Media, world. Sound familiar? Because there’s literally a gazillion of them now. And they are all far better and more efficient than anything I was building. The I, Me, My in this post is 100% intentional. I forget about the “Why” and the “We.” I find myself circling back to this moment often nowadays. I was focused on the wrong thing. I attached myself to the success — and made it all about ME ME ME! I should have focused on the people, who were likely horrified to witness my ego trip. I should have focused on building THEM up. Collaborating with them. Connecting…with them. But because it was ME instead of THEM, MY house of cards fell…HARD.
The people who sacrificed their time and energy suffered because of it — and that’s what makes me so disappointed nowadays. The product blew away like dust. And all that money was just gone…in an instant. Granted, this is an over-implication of what happened, but it happened. And I was out on the street. A grown man — sleeping on the same pullout couch w/ my little brother — maybe we can touch on more about that in another time — but back to focus…I failed the people who trusted me — wholeheartedly. For what? Smh. I’m sorry.
I’d go on to commit the rest of my life trying to fix this mistake…focusing on others. Focusing on lifting as I climbed. Focusing on building rather than pushing. Focused on leadership over dictating. Focused on WE over me.
I was so pissed. A lifetime ago, my CEO punted on a strategy we both agreed on. “Why was I even here if you’re not going to listen to me????” I asked. “Right idea. Wrong time” they said. It’s funny because I laugh at this moment now, but you couldn’t tell me then that this was the biggest mistake in the last 2000 or so years of humanity. Cringe… The next day, we were on our way to solving even more pressing problems.
What I realize now is that they were absolutely right. I was too focused on the smaller win at the moment (stupid ego) and not the bigger vision. Pshhh…amateur hour. I’m glad I got over it…eventually. Upon further reflection, that became a catalyst for me to think even deeper into the “why” of the work and embrace tough calls…even if I have conviction. Know which hill you want to make your stand on…and make it worth it. In addition, my tech roles over the last decade+ have taught me that pivoting and getting over it quickly is key to survival, success, serenity.
Glad I learned this humbling lesson…and quickly. That hill DEFINITELY WASN’T worth it. Onwards and upwards.
“IT AIN’T AS BAD AS YOU THINK. IT WILL LOOK BETTER IN THE MORNING.”
As my heart raced, I thought I’d killed the deal. Maybe I said the wrong thing; maybe I didn’t respond in time. Maybe I just wasn’t as smart or talented as I thought I was. Maybe I didn’t see around the corner in the right way. Perhaps I was just a fraud. I looked at the email, and it ended with, “But we want to thank you and your team for all the time and effort.”
The reality of it — I was thinking short and not long. I wasn’t focused on the bigger picture. And I didn’t realize that the email just meant “Not now.” Shit, nearly ten years later, I would realize that this email was the beginning of an incredible relationship and journey, but at that moment, I was shook!
It wasn’t the end of the world. Not only was it better in the morning, but ten years after that “Not now” email, I closed Comcast. Woah…maybe I should have listened to your wisdom a little earlier. It wasn’t as bad as I thought.
Something incredible happened over the last 48 hours.
My internet went down. Because of this, I called into meetings instead of video conferencing in; I read books and articles instead of online; I met up with colleagues (safely) instead of emailing; I meditated 🧘🏽♂️.
What did this result in?
I got the best sleep 😴 of the year last night; I’m feeling more energized; I’m feeling more connected; I’m feeling less anxious. Can anyone else relate?
What will I do going forward? Well, I’m going to limit my daily screen-time; I’m going to read more books📚; I’m going to call more and text/email/video-con less; I’m going to write more (with a pen✍🏽); I’m going to share all these continued learnings/experiences with YOU!
This has been an incredibly challenging year for us all, but I’m motivated and determined to make the best out of the near-future in order to build something special for US in the far-future. It starts with the now. And it starts together.
Have you ever taken the game-winning shot 🏀? And missed 😓?!
I have.
I’ve missed so many damn times.
I remember the pain and the disappointment in my teams’ eyes. I can’t ever forget that look.
I can’t ever forget that feeling — that feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I felt like I let them down. 🤦🏽♂️
I went back and studied and practiced. Over and over…and over…
I continued to show up. We showed up. Together.
But THAT moment when your team passes and you hit the game-winning shot…
That’s growth.
That’s teamwork.
That’s championship DNA.
That’s what makes it worth it.
Now get back out there and keep showing up.
I promise you.
It’s worth it. 🙌🏾
No matter what, try, and promise to be a RAINBOW 🌈 in someone else’s CLOUD ☁️
There will always be people out there who will try and take away [from] your light.
What are you to do in that moment?
I’ll tell you what you do.
You continue to be that positive light in the world. You continue to push through the noise. You continue to uplift others up around you. You continue to live in your truth. You continue to make your family and ancestors proud. You continue to be your best and most authentic self. And you continue to change the world in the positive ways that are unique to you.
There will always be people out there who will try and take away your light.
But they are not and will never be….YOU.
What did Maya Angelou tell me? No matter what, try, and promise to be a RAINBOW 🌈 in someone else’s CLOUD ☁️.
The work of a technologist rests on an abiding faith that there is always a way to build something better, a way to build something new. We’re finding it increasingly hard to maintain that belief these days.
Over the past several months, Black people have been grappling with the deleterious effects of COVID-19 and the disproportionate ways the pandemic has harmed our communities. The gruesome murders of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, Tony McDade, and now, David McAtee, have reopened wounds that had barely begun to heal. Folks are hurting right now; the pain is visceral, and the hunger for change is real. The public outcry and the protests that have swept our nation are symptomatic of these yearnings.
As Black people, we are subject to the same fate that Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, and so many others have faced, for no other reason than the color of our skin. There are no credentials we can show, no lines of code we can write, no respectability politics we can perform to escape the specter of America’s racism. Its terror knows no bounds and its cruelty is unrelenting. Wrestling with this fact is infuriating, frightening, and demoralizing all at once. Above all, it is exhausting.
No matter how far we think we’ve come and how much progress we feel we’ve made, a clear pattern continues to emerge in our society and it signifies a horrifying verdict: Black people are not safe. This reality compels us, as it has throughout our nation’s troubled history, to reflect on our place in this world.
Now, as much as ever before, it is important to affirm the human dignity of Black people in word and deed. Black Lives Matter and we remain committed to projecting that ethos through our work. Our organization was founded for this very purpose.
At /dev/color we will continue on our mission to empower Black software engineers to help one another grow into industry leaders. We know that software has the potential to be a significant lever of change, and with that power and leverage our members will go on to build up their communities and reshape the world.
Going forward, we are doubling down on our efforts to serve our members by carving spaces for them to process recent events together. Similarly, we will set the stage for our partners to learn how they can be better allies. And over the next few weeks, we will be highlighting stories and projects that our members share publicly.
Still, while the tech landscape constitutes the site of our resistance, it is hardly the only scope of our impact. Our efforts will continue to reverberate in Black communities near and far and we acknowledge the necessary work being done in other domains to support Black people. That said, we want to amplify the great things other organizations are doing to advance the cause of racial justice in this moment.
Here are a few groups/resources worth supporting, signal-boosting, or learning more about:
Justice for George Floyd Petition and George Floyd Memorial Fund
Justice for Breonna Taylor Petition and Breonna Taylor Fund
This petition to hold 25-year-old Ahmaud Arbery's killers responsible.
Minnesota Freedom Fund
Brooklyn Community Bail Fund
Free Them All For Public Health
The Atlanta Solidarity Fund
Equal Justice Initiative
Anti-Racist Resources
Supplemental Resources
Ella Baker Center for Human Rights
The Philando Castile Relief Foundation
The Movement for Black Lives
Bring The H.E.A.T.
Ultimately, we will know our job is done when we have totally reshaped society in ways that are more equitable and free of the ubiquitous threat of violence and oppression that Black people face. We look forward to a more promising iteration of democracy that will inspire generations of Black people to flourish for years to come.
Our staff will continue to lay the groundwork for our members to use their collective skills, ingenuity, and influence to accelerate the disruption of this untenable system. Together, we’re fully charged for the task of building a better system, even if that means building it anew.
I wanted to share something with you all. This year has been an interesting one. I started a new company (Launching to the Stars) at the beginning of the year. Lakeisha Poole and I interviewed lots of folks (we’re super grateful for everyone’s time) for our Culture is Karma podcast (which we’re still looking at a public winter release). I spent the first few months traveling (Mexico was really good to me). Then I spent the next couple months reflecting (shout out to my close circle of friends and mentors [& Headspace] for keeping me focused). And finally, I found myself in some wonderful conversations during the last three months. What a year, what a year! And WOW to all the experiences I’ve had since I had moved to San Francisco 5 years ago (I can't believe it’s been that long already)!
After reflecting on my life and career, I kept landing in the same place. I kept going back to all those times that I was the “only one” or “the other” in rooms or the frustrations of friends and colleagues who felt held back or weren’t paid equally or weren’t looked at fairly or were told they didn’t belong in the room...just because they were black or brown.
With great excitement, I’d like to share that today marks my first day as the Director of Partnerships for /dev/color. I’m joining an incredible team, mission, and vision that will change the tech world forever.
/dev/color's vision is to be an engine of wealth generation for the Black community by supporting the advancement of Black software engineers. It is our purpose to unlock our innate power to change and lead the tech industry, both to better reflect the diversity of talent and to better design technology that responds to the diverse needs of our society. In doing so, we will create pathways and partnerships to generate equity and wealth for our community through one of the fastest-growing and most impactful sectors in the world.
As acclaimed author Enitan Bereola II tweeted recently, “you’re supposed to be in every room you enter.” We matter, and I can’t wait to continue to empower our brilliant community and steward new and existing partnerships to significantly PUSH the needle forward.
In the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing more about what I’m excited about, our broader partnership vision, and how you can get involved/partner with us.
I want to give a huge THANK YOU to everyone who has been supportive of my continued journey. I can’t wait to tell you more. In the meantime, feel free to connect with me via text, [email protected], or visit https://devcolor.org.
For my first job out of college, Howard Dean, who was chairman of the DNC @ the time, sent me into the state of New Jersey to 1) figure out how to utilize new and emerging technology (TheFacebook & Twitter @ the time) to get folks out to vote, donate, and participate in the election process, 2) build awareness and organize around progressive policy issues, and 3) train candidates and their teams on how to be more effective in the ground and air. I was just a kid trying to change the world. I failed a lot, learned a lot, and won a hell of a lot of elections (local and national). After I left the DNC, I wanted to continue to figure out how to use digital marketing for good and at scale. I hustled my way into consulting brands large and small on how to ride this new wave. I became deeply passionate about always dialing into “the idea” (nothing is bigger than “the idea” to figure out how organizations could tap into “the human connection” through digital marketing in order to connect brands, ideas, campaigns to a broader audience. I ended up leading teams to challenge age old marketing concepts. We created incredible campaigns. We developed incredible products. We were so very inspired by all of the people we connected into. We were hustling our butts off to make change at the ground floor. After Leaderosity was acquired last year, I took the majority of this year to reflect, read, and connect with people doing incredible work. I became inspired by all of the stories and people I was encountering. About a month ago, after deep reflection, I realized that I was ready for something new, but familiar.
Well, today marks the next step in that journey and life comes full circle. I’m happy to announce that I’m joining an incredible team at Hustle to be their new Head of Digital Transformation. Hustle is the leading peer-to-peer (P2P) relationship platform used by political campaigns, advocacy organizations, universities and international enterprise clients alike. I get to once again align passion with purpose! It really hit me when I attended Joseph Kopser’s (who is running for Congress TX-21) event in San Francisco last week. After I shared news of my new role with him, Joseph excitedly said
“We use Hustle big time! Hustle has become part of our lexicon. It’s allowed our campaign to be more effective in getting more people out to our campaign events and rallys! It’s allowed us to be more connected to our constituents!”
Woah…
Hustle, a pioneer of P2P messaging and the industry’s most widely adopted text campaign platform with over 85 million text conversations initiated to date, recently announced a $30 million Series B funding round led by Insight Venture Partners with participation from GV and Salesforce Ventures.
Woah Again…
I can tell you that Hustle is an incredible technology that empowers humans to have authentic conversations and relationships with meaningful campaigns. Being in marketing and business development my entire career, I can also tell you that I understand and see the value in this way of connecting and communicating. I look forward to working with Roddy Lindsay, Jacinta Tobin, Richard Purcell, Reza Bloomer, Gina Costantino, and the larger Hustle team as we double down on our work in the civic and political sphere, and enter new enterprise markets. I’m deeply passionate and aligned with how Roddy articulates our impact by saying
“relationships win supporters and votes, and relationships also win business”.
I can unequivocally say that this is a branch of my journey that I was destined to be part of!
I’ve been hustlin’ to change the world all my life and now I get to do it with a new, passionate, brilliant, and wonderfully aligned team. To my network — thank you for all of the incredible conversations and motivations this year. I can’t wait to share more.
So, today I decided to to jump on a last minute 3am flight to Colorado to make a surprise visit to my grandparents (both of whom I haven't seen in 3 years). What ensued was quite possibly THE BEST SURPRISE REACTION OF ALL TIME.
I’ve been spending the last few weeks being still and listening to the world around me. What I captured this morning was both beautiful and telling to how I’m approaching the world. While I continue to see the world organically through these eyes, I always want to share it’s beauty in new and engaging ways. More on that soon. But, for now, please enjoy my sunrise. And maybe you too will be able to find some time to be still. And listen. The world has a lot to tell you...
