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I have a habit of writing a very ooc dickhead james… I’m so sorry james. Please marry me.
to everyone that has requested, i’m working my way through them… i just want to finish some other fics i started beforehand :) feel free to keep requesting, i like to keep myself busy
VERY SLOW UPDATES ON DRESSED TOO NICE FOR A JACKET BUT I WILL FINISH IT I PROMISE
your the right person so it’s the right time ✰ R.L x fem!reader
angsty james potter x fem!reader (like he realised he’s in love with her) platonic!sirius black x fem!reader
pt.1 pt.3
a/n: i can’t help but give this a part 2 cause of this
i thought it was so cute and it just goes so great with pt. 1 so fight me. i was also debating so fucking hard on who to write y/n with cause lily and james weren’t an option (i’m not giving james my precious y/n) and sirius is like her brother- i was between marlene or remus… so moony it is.
requested: yes/no
warnings: not edited. somewhat proofread. swearing. fluff. slight mention of divorce. honestly none really. no voldylocks sorry not sorry. doesn’t really follow a canon time line tbh. also andromeda and ted are kinda like parental figures to her… idk just go with it
summary: when remus gets invited round to the potters 2 years after they’ve finished school, he brings his fiancé with him. every one (except sirius) is shocked to find out it’s none other than y/n.
i won’t lie to you, i don’t really read or write remus stuff but i don’t hate this. it’s not my favourite thing i’ve ever written but i think it alright.
after a few weeks, y/n felt fine. sure, she was still mad, and she didn’t exactly want to be near james and lily any more. but, slowly, she got over it. and over james. remus felt like part of it was his fault, y/n would always tel him ‘no one could have stopped him. he had it set in stone in his mind, and when james wants to do something, he does it. it’s not your fault moony’. after a couple of months, it was clear to remus… he liked y/n. but he knew that, especially right now, nothing was going to happen. so he just became the best friend he could to her.
she really appreciated having him around, he was her piece of normality whenever someone would give her a pitying look if they walked passed james and lily. he’d hold her hand, and give her silent reassurances, squeeze her hand or trace her knuckles with his thumb. but after a while, they never let go. even if it was minutes after walking past them, they’re hold onto eachother tighter. that was the first sign… y/n was falling in love with remus lupin. at least this time, the feeling was mutual.
both being the awkward souls they are, it took time to realise what was going on between them. but, before the end of their sixth year, they told eachother in an adorably awkward way. that was the start of it all. when it came to school, they didn’t make it obvious, people just thought they were touchy friends. and james, he was too preoccupied with a certain red head to even realise they were hanging out. as they neared the end of their 7th year, they decided they wanted to get a cute flat together, above a muggle bookshop. one of their favourite muggle bookshops. they were living in a perfect little harmony.
one of the first things they did in their new flat, was invite andromeda and ted over for dinner. it was a lovely, homely event. they love remus, so much so that whilst remus and andromeda were talking about their favourite book, ted looked over at her and whispered ‘i love him’. she nodded back and whispered ‘so do i’. they exchanged giggles and that was the moment she knew, he really was the right person. so that made this the right time.
the proposal. as awkward as every other key part in their relationship was, this wasn’t without nervous giggles, tears, hugs and kisses. it’s safe to say she was shocked when she turned around and saw him down on one knee. a moment she’ll never forget. “y/n, life right now is unpredictable, quite potentially short, and fast. i can’t imagine getting old, but there is no one else i’d want to do it with. i love you. will you marry me?” she nodded her head frantically, tears cascading down both their faces. barely being able to choke out a ‘yes’ she pulled him off the floor and kissed him. “i love you so much, rem” she whispered into his chest as they hugged. “i love you to y/n/n. so much”
at the potter house hold, they were living in a perfect bliss. too perfect for james to be truly happy, but he just told himself it was because of all the change that was going on. lily had just given birth to harry, they only got married less than a year ago, and just before that they moved in with eachother. it was a whirlwind sort of romance that didn’t look like it was slowing down any time soon.
james just received an owl form remus, and he couldn’t have been more happy for his friend. “lils! guess what!” she walked through the living room with harry on her hip, “what?” she chuckled at her husbands excitement. “guess who got engaged?” she shook her head with a smile “i don’t know…” he smiled more and yelled “moony! i can’t believe moony had the balls to get down on one knee. plus we haven’t even met the girl… heck i don’t even know her name!”. lily nodded in agreement “well maybe we should invite them round for dinner, in fact, we should invite all of them round. we haven’t seen all of them together in a while. could be a nice little reunion. we could even invite y/n if you wanted. reconcile with her, i know you haven’t spoken since 6th year.” he shook his head “yes to the party, no to y/n. i’ll probably owl her at some point, ask sirius her address. if i want to reconcile i probably shouldn’t do it with the wife i tricked her into helping me get.” lily nodded “that’s fair enough. but i can tel you miss her, you should definitely reach out soon.”
‘dear remus,
me and lils wanna know if you and future mrs.moony want to come round for dinner or something next week. we’ve invited the whole gang, we haven’t seen everyone altogether for quite some time.
james.’
“love!” remus yelled from the kitchen, giving the owl a treat as he did so. “yeah!” she spoke as she walked into the kitchen. “how would you feel about going to james? i know you haven’t spoken since… the incident. but all the marauders will be there, could be nice to let people know bout us.” she nodded her head “yeah. i have no reason to still be hurt by what happened. i’m with you now, i love you, and he’s happy, we’re happy. it’s all water under the bridge.” remus smiled and kissed her “thank you” he kissed her again making her giggle. “no problem, my love. what do you think their reactions will be?” he chuckled “i’m not sure… could be funny though.”
once they were ready, remus and y/n left to go to the potters. it was only a short 5 minutes away so they decided to walk, hand in hand, in peaceful silence. knocking on the door, remus could tel y/n was nervous so he gave her a quick peck on the cheek and squeezed her hand comfortingly. when james opened the door, he couldn’t lie, he was a little confused. had lily invited her without him knowing? “moony… y/n? i didn’t realise you were coming” she chuckled nervously “well you did invite future mrs. moony, if i’m not mistaken.” he stared in shock for a moment “wait… i didn’t see that coming…” he coughed awkwardly “well congratulations both of you, come in.” they smiled, remus and y/n turning to one another with mischievous little grins. it was admittedly quite funny to the two. what was even more funny was everyone else’s reactions. sirius also got to bask in the humour of it all, him having known they were together since the beginning of their 7th year.
as the night progressed, james quickly learned what a happy relationship looked like. the giggles. the smiles. the silent conversations without any words. they were happy, and for some reason that made james sad. he forgot what a giddy relationship looked like until they came, he forgot the way that he used to feel about lily. what used to be undoubtedly love was now just a routine on autopilot. the same thing every day. he truly did love harry, he just wish he loved harry’s mother the way he wanted to. the way he used to. as the night progressed through to almost midnight, he had done hours of thinking. did he seriously screw over what could have been a lifelong friendship… or maybe even love… for someone he couldn’t truthfully say he was happy with? did he screw up so badly that let the one person that was always there for him go. he was stuck in his head until someone tapped on his shoulder. he turned around to see a smile that he missed, paired with slightly concerned eyes. “james are you ok?” he nodded “yeah… yeah just thinking” she hummed i acknowledgment. “i’m sorry i didn’t tell you i was coming, or about me and moony. it just seemed like some things were better left unsaid”
“yeah… yeah. i am sorry for what happened by the way. i know i never really said it. i was a dick, i shouldn’t have used you like that.” y/n chuckled slightly “it’s ok. hey, we’re both happy now. no reason to dwell on it.” giving his arms. reassuring pat. “that’s just the thing y/n/n. i’m not sure if i am happy. i want to be. i should be. but every time i look at the life i have, i just wish i did it differently. maybe with someone else, someone who liked me before i had to trick it out of them.” y/n was a little taken aback by his confession. “if that’s how you feel, you need to talk to her about it. you shouldn’t be living in a lie, not like this. and hey, co-parenting works. maybe you’d both be happier if you looked after him as friends rather than more. i can tell you love her, it’s just whether or not your in love with her that you need to figure out. and then have a chat with her about it. don’t string her along, it will only be more painful for the both of you in the future”. those words ignited something in him. she was right, of course she was. he just wished he’d seen it sooner. “thanks y/n/n.”
as the months progressed y/n and james spoke again. she helped him through telling lily how he felt, he was more than relieved when she said she felt the exact same. they were young, they made a mistake, but they were still friends. they still lived together, and that worked for them. they may have started out wrong, but now they could safely say they were happy.
with their wedding just around the corner, remus and y/n were even more excited than ever before, there was just one or two more things they needed to plan. she asked ted to walk her down the isle, knowing her parents would never want to attend the wedding of their blood traitor daughter and a werewolf. he, of course, said yes.
it was a beautiful ceremony, and one that made james really realise he fucked up. over the months of talking to y/n again, he couldn’t help but fall in love with her. but of course it had to be at the wrong time. but the truth is, they probably never would have had a right time. y/n could see that, james couldn’t. he wished he could go back in time and change what he did, but she just looked so happy with remus. the two danced throughout the entire night, smiles on their faces that would never fade. sirius leant over to james, they were in a secluded corner away from prying ears, “you’ve realised haven’t you” james just nodded, not even pretending to be confused. “i’m sorry mate, but she’s happy. and you will be too. just please don’t fuck anything up again. i don’t want her being upset, especially not on her wedding day.” james just nodded once more and left.
if only everything hadn’t have been all about lily evans, maybe he’d have realised how perfect y/n l/n is instead
summary: after sirius left his family, james starts to realise quite how badly he screwed up, and although he appears to already be forgiven by everyone involved, there’s one last person that still hasn’t. himself. (this is quite repetitive i won’t lie, but it’s mostly just a look into james’ guilt.)
warnings: kinda angsty on james’ part. swearing, mention of hospitals, smoking (just cigarettes), talks of cheating, self loathing from james - i have a habit of writing james really ooc, so hopefully this has redeemed it slightly. because we all know if james cheated on someone his guilt would be through the roof. i should also mention, sometimes this series (especially this part) might seem a little bit like i’m condoning cheating, and like it’s not a big deal. i assure you that’s not the case, and if y/n was my friend i might have to stage an intervention.
a/n: this randomly switches from lowercase to not all lowercase, back to lowercase again cause during my 8 month hiatus i put my caps lock on and off again and couldn’t be bothered to change it, and i started writing this before i took an unplanned break.
but anyway hello! i’m back. hopefully for a while cause i have some wip’s that i’m very excited to start writing again. but yes i hope this was worth the wait (it probably wasn’t)
gif not mine
when lily wasn’t there for him to be blinded, he started to notice the reasons he began to fall for y/n in the first place. of course, he wasn’t going to do anything. she was happy, he was happy. but seeing her happy with someone else made him admittedly more jealous than it should’ve. he broke her heart, he left her alone, it was his fault. he shouldn’t have been upset, but standing in st. mungos seeing y/n curled up into sirius’ side asleep whilst he was looking at her, just studying all of her features, and playing with her hair, he felt a pang to his heartstring. but if he was completely honest with himself, instead of living in a constant state of denial, he would have realised that feeling wasn’t jealousy. it was guilt. because watching them made him think about when he could have had that, and he threw her on the floor like he would a crumpled up potions essay.
“prongs, mate. sit down. y’alright?” sirius said softly, as to not make him jump, and to not wake up y/n. james chuckled slightly, bringing a chair beside his bed. using the same soft tone, he responded “you’re in a hospital bed, and you’re asking if i’m alright?” sirius shrugged with a slight laugh “y’just looked a bit in your own head s’all.” james nodded, barely meeting sirius’ eye “d’you think she hates me?” he nudged his head towards y/n, worried of what sirius would think his question insinuates.
“well… i don’t know. i don’t think so. she was a wreck, james, but i don’t think she could ever really hate you.” taking a bit of a pause, he thought about his next words carefully. “she really struggled, y’know. found it hard to find a reason to get out of bed. thought she wasn’t good enough, not just for you, but for the world. it took its toll. but…” he looked down at her then back at james, stroking and playing with her hair unconsciously. “if she hated you she wouldn’t have cared she wasn’t good enough, she wouldn’t have tried to keep the peace when with our friends, she would have shown you how mad and sad she was, instead of letting you be happy because that’s all that mattered.” james looked relieved, but his speech didn’t do much for his guilt. but that was ok, he deserved the guilt. he knew that.
“so to answer your question, i don’t know. because i’m not y/n, but i do know her. and i can safely say that if she truly hated you, she would have done everything in her power to ruin your happiness. but she didn’t. she didn’t even tell anyone what happened.”
those words were stuck on a loop in james’ head for about a week. over and over, each words replayed with a different meaning. each word held a story, her story, his story, their story. and each one ended with lily and james. but not all of them ended with sirius, because what if? what if sirius hated james for initially ruining his chances with the girl he liked? what if he didn’t stick around? what if he wasn’t there to save the day when y/n needed him?
what if?
what if?
what if?
every time it would just get louder, the voice in the back of his mind. “you could have ruined her belief in love.” “you could have left her alone and someone might not have been there for her.” “you were so selfish, sleeping with lily.” it all drowned out and merged into one big noise, every voice somehow making an appearance every time he opened his eyes, closed his eyes, looked the other way, turned around…
“james.” he was cut off by y/n, her and sirius were staying with him for the rest of the summer. sirius because he had no where else to go, and y/n because neither her nor sirius wanted to leave the other. both james and his parents were understanding, and he wasn’t going to get in the way of her happiness again. “what’s wrong?” she asked, mildly concerned by his behaviour the past couple of days.
“I just want to say sorry” she cocked her head in confusion. “Sorry? Why?” He chuckled humourlessly. “I was a selfish dick to you, who used you to get over a girl i slept with not too long afterwards. And you’re asking me what I’m sorry for?” She shook her head. “James I don’t care anymore. Ok, I was hurt. I wanted to hate you. But I wouldn’t have Sirius without what happened. Because we’d have broken up in a nice clean way, and sirius wouldn’t be needed to help my heartbreak. Things happen for a reason, james. Don’t beat yourself up so much”
That conversation stuck with him, he never thought he’d be missing y/n. And he wasn’t, not really. He was just hiding behind denial and guilt, forcing himself to belief that he hurt her beyond repair. turns out hindsight is a bitch, and james didn’t know how to handle it. he always prided himself in being a classic, charming ‘nice’ guy. but what he did was anything but, and he couldn’t stop the thoughts swirling around his mind telling him that he was a bad person, that he didn’t deserve y/n when he had her, and he certainly doesn’t deserve lily now.
————
james was standing outside his house in the rain, hiding in the little shelter near the back door, he pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his coat pocket, along with a lighter. as he was fumbling with the box, trying to get one out and light it, his mind was continuing to wander. over the past two weeks he was being plagued by guilt, by the idea that he could have hurt someone so badly that they could have stopped believing in something like love. in something that he strongly believed was one of the best things anyone could ever experience.
he was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t hear sirius open the back door, also sneaking out for a cheeky cigarette whilst y/n was getting ready for bed.
“didn’t realise you were anything more than a social smoker, prongs”
he jumped at sirius’ words, making the boy across from him chuckle as he, too, pulled out a pack from his coat. “well, not normally. just too much going on in my head at the minute, needed something to take the edge of, i guess.” sirius nodded, hesitating slightly before he spoke. “yeah, i noticed that. seriously, prongs, what’s going on. you’ve been acting funny since me and y/n/n got here. since st. mungos. do you not want us here? cause we can-“
james was quick to cut him off “no. no! it’s not that, i just-“ he stopped for a minute, debating whether or not he should be honest with sirius. “i keep thinking about what i did. about the way i treated y/n. and i know- i know that she’s ok, and i know that you two may never have been together if i didn’t, but- but that’s still a person that i hurt. that i completely disregarded the feelings off for my own selfish reasons. when i could have just had a conversation with her and everything would have been fine.” he took a breath and looked up from where he’d been gazing down at his shoes, trying to judge how sirius was going to act based off of his face. he didn’t know what he was expecting, but he certainly wasn’t expecting the sympathetic half smile that he was currently wearing. “i didn’t have to hurt her, if i’d have walked her back to her dorm when she was drunk, like any decent person would have, we’d have spoken about it and we’d have probably broken up before we even got to her common room. but i didn’t. i chose to hurt her”
after he’s finished speaking sirius shook his head slightly, taking a long drag of his cigarette whilst trying to form the right words to say, without trying to add to james’ guilt. “mate, everyone makes mistakes. granted, it was a shitty, shitty mistake. but a mistake is a mistake. and it’s not ok, and you did hurt her, a lot. but you feel guilty about it. most people that cheat don’t care, it’s a game to them. they’re happy to pretend like nothing happened and all is still perfectly fine. but you’ve been torn up about this for weeks, probably more than that. it’s just finally sinking in. y/n’s okay prongs. she’s okay. and as shitty as it was, everything happens for a reason.” just as he finished speaking he saw y/n through the window on the back door. he gestured to her that he’d be inside in a second, and gave her a smile. she smiled back and he watched as she walked towards the kitchen.
smiling slightly at the look on his friends face, james nudged sirius with his shoulder “you really love her, pads… don’t you?” sirius was quick to nod his head absentmindedly, before his eyes went wide. he looked at james before nodding his head again, this time really letting it sink in. “yeah, yeah i guess i do.”
————————
aghhhhh thank you for reading that and sorry for the long wait. hopefully the next part shouldn’t take nearly as long. honestly i don’t know if i like this, but oh well. it was always going to be a filler chapter, but yeah hopefully it’s not too bad.
From the bottom of my heart: im not sorry for anything i put on yalls dash, i am my own target audience and i find my taste immaculate but thank u for witnessing 💕
having parallel scenes of one of the boys talking really fast falling into despair saying he doesn't wanna lose the other as the other slowly gets closer to him, caresses his face and then kisses him at the beginning AND end of the series......... yeah
thinkin' about nick running to charlie's house bcoz he wanted to talk about the party kiss in person AND nick pulling charlie aside from the field to tell him how much he appreciates him and if he wants to break up he'll respect that but just needed charlie to know he really likes him and wants to be w him........ shout out to communication in relationships gotta be one of my favorite genders
imogen is literally a 16 year old girl with a crush who immediately backed off and sympathized with nick when he turned her down and took the heat off of the situation when nicks friends questioned him and was happy to see him with charlie in the last episode and yet some of y'all are acting like she is a straight up VILLAIN. SHE IS A CHILD. imogen did nothing wrong i stand by this. 🤞🏻🤞🏻
omg so during the deathly hallows, yanno that scene with ron and hermione where she’s attempting to teach him the piano…
WELL what if, while they were staying during the order of the phoenix there was a similar situation… but like her playing and him just watching her with so much love in his eyes. RIGHT, stay with me. and basically sirius walks in and he sees this, just the overwhelming amount of love in the room. and it makes him emotional and stuffs cause (i think) he was forced to play piano as a child, very classical boring shit that put so much pressure on him as a child. and he’s always hated that fucking piano. it was filled with terrible memories and unrealistic expectations. BUT THEN he sees them there in the moment and he just starts tearing up because he’s hated staying in the house he was literally abused in, but suddenly he sees the love that was never present in his childhood make it’s way into the house. LIKE HOW CUTE WOULD THAT BE. anyway…
omg so during the deathly hallows, yanno that scene with ron and hermione where she’s attempting to teach him the piano…
WELL what if, while they were staying during the order of the phoenix there was a similar situation… but like her playing and him just watching her with so much love in his eyes. RIGHT, stay with me. and basically sirius walks in and he sees this, just the overwhelming amount of love in the room. and it makes him emotional and stuffs cause (i think) he was forced to play piano as a child, very classical boring shit that put so much pressure on him as a child. and he’s always hated that fucking piano. it was filled with terrible memories and unrealistic expectations. BUT THEN he sees them there in the moment and he just starts tearing up because he’s hated staying in the house he was literally abused in, but suddenly he sees the love that was never present in his childhood make it’s way into the house. LIKE HOW CUTE WOULD THAT BE. anyway…
warnings: swearing, kissing, guiltyjames™, hints to family violence/abuse, mentions of hospitals. gif not mine
summary: james can’t help but feel bad, because she was finally happy - he could see how miserable she was when she was with him.
note: did i specifically look up a 1975 calander to know which was the first friday in june 😭 because it may or may not be important to future songs and therefore chapters- also i’m gonna be honest this correlates to the song minimally, but oh well it’s a pretty title. also sorry for the delay! things have been going on and i had to go to the hospital it was a whole thing, but i’m ok and i’m back and hopefully the next update won’t take this long :)
it was nearing the summer break, and there was a buzz in the air. sirius was a little worried, he was going home. normally he’d stay at school or go with james, but he felt like it was the right thing to do. y/n was also worried, she hated to think about what they might do to him. but he assured her trust if anything went wrong he’d go straight to her, and if he could, he’d owl her everyday. y/n wasn’t sure what she was going to do, but moony had offered her to go with him so she figured that’s probably what’s she would do. she knew she couldn’t be alone, she’d be too anxiety riddled worrying about padfoot. but the more he reassured her, the more she started to believe him.
james was still living in his ‘lily bliss’ but it started to become a lot more normal. things were feeling normal. james was happy, and y/n was happy for him. after her breakdown in the corridors they both felt a film of closure capture them. neither of them forgot what happened, both felt bad about it, but there was finally no malice. the entire group was happy.
-
the start of june always involved a party in the gryffindor common room. no one knew why, but everyone wanted to go. well, all except sirius and y/n, but james was going to see to it that that would change.
“c’mon, guys! it’s the best party all school year, everyone who knows what’s good for them goes!” he added a pathetic little foot stamp to emphasise his point, it was honesty laughable how much james looked like a tantrum throwing seven year old. sirius shook his head with a small chuckle “exactly, everyone will be going so it will be complete peace outside, for at least an hour, until drunk idiots start piling out.” y/n nodded her head in agreement “so we can hang out by the whomping willow for a little while, and then go back to my dorm, and bonus point, the common room will be empty.”
“you guys are so boring” he let the last word sit on his tongue for longer than necessary, at this point his best bet was to annoy them into going. “if you really want we can go for half an hour before we go back to my dorm?” he contemplated it for a while and then nodded his head. “you guys owe me!” he said as he walked away, pointing at them to make a statement. sirius shook his head “i actually think you owe us!” but his words held no impact when they were met with james laughing hysterically and y/n giggling.
“and what do you think you’re laughing at?” he asked with a raise of his brow, to which she shook her head, physically not being able to let the words escape through her laughter. they were currently in the gryffindor common room, it was late and there weren’t many people about, so it was like music to his ears that all he could hear was her soft laughs slowly grow into obnoxious cackles. and yet still, it was perfect to him. to add fuel to the fire, he started to attack her with tickles, knowing exactly where she was most ticklish. she continued to laugh even more and managed to say something along the lines of “you are an evil man”. by the time they had both calmed down, she had somehow gotten on top of him, there legs absentmindedly curled around each others, trying to lock themselves in the moment. y/n blushed a little, but it was clear to her that sirius didn’t mind, as he guided her head to be laying on his chest before placing a kiss on her head. they’d stayed like that for a while, not even realising how tired they were, until somewhere between there small chats and quiet laughs they both fell asleep.
-
when it was time to go to the party, y/n was silently freaking out. she didn’t quite know why, but she was fussing about how she looked. like that would matter, it’s just sirius… right?
of course, she was wrong, but she wasn’t going to tell herself that. as she continued to get ready, finishing up her eyeliner, sirius knocked on the door, “come in” she yelled, before grabbing her necklace and struggling to put it on. “need any help, love?” she nodded exasperated, passing him the necklace. “the bloody clasp is stuck, i swear.”
moving her hair out the way, he effortlessly put the necklace on her. “how did you do that?” she asked, he chuckled slightly before kissing her shoulder, then her head, then grabbing her hand to go outside “because, y/n, i’m a genius.”
-
after their ‘friend date’ they went to the common room, absentmindedly linking arms whilst sirius played with y/n’s fingers. they barely even got into the room before they heard james drunkenly yell “just in time! guys we’re playing spin the bottle!” they both looked uneasy but joined the circle none the less, the only spaced being opposite each other. after a few rounds, it was y/n’s turn, so she took the bottle and gave it a halfhearted spin, hoping that it didn’t land on james. not because james was with lily, the were both playing and it’s not like they were being forced to snog anyone, but because, for some odd reason, she didn’t want sirius to see. and yet, as the bottle slowed down, she was terrified. just as she thought it was going to land on james, it landed on the person next to him. and looking up she realised it was sirius, suddenly she felt nervous. why was she feeling nervous? it’s just sirius, her best friend sirius, sirius who had helped her pick up the pieces, sirius who she sang late night karaoke with, sirius who attempted to make her favourite cake on her birthday (even if he failed massively) sirius who taught her how to do eyeliner, sirius who was just sirius.
after looking in his eyes as he nodded as a confirmation of him being ok with it, she barely even hesitated. she shuffled closer to him then kissed him. it lasted all of about five seconds, but it was much to long for a spin the bottle kiss. neither of them were complaining though, it was slow, it was peaceful, and it was nice. if she wasn’t so focused on sirius, the way his lips felt on hers, the way everything around her seemed to stop, maybe she would have reveled in kissing her ex’s best friend. maybe she’d finally get her revenge.
james couldn’t help but look away, there was something about his ex and his best friend kissing that just didn’t sit right with him. he was over her, heck he was barely even in love with her in the first place, he couldn’t understand why it bothered him so much. he pushed the feelings down, he wasn’t going to ruin their happiness. not again. their relationship had been flawed, granted, more on his side than hers, but both of them made mistakes. both of them were coasting on the other to put in the hard work, both of them were absentmindedly ghosting the other. so why did it hurt that she was kissing someone else?
all whilst this was going through his head, sirius and y/n were over the moon. friday 6th june 1975. a day that was the beginning of everything, even if they didn’t know it yet.
-
the weeks following the kiss weren’t awkward, they acknowledged the fact that it happened, but they didn’t talk about it. but even a blind man could see the changes there relationship went through, subtle and unspoken things. they would hold hands, when sitting next to eachother they’d be cuddled up, cheek, hair and forehead kisses became a regular thing, and they’re ere both happy. neither felt the need to talk about it, because whatever they were, whatever they felt, it was mutual. and the silent rule was that the first move would be made by y/n, she still needed time, not because she wasn’t over james, but because she was scared. she trusted sirius completely, but it was easy with him, she didn’t want to mess it up by putting a label on it.
the train ride home, a day sirius and y/n were dreading. what if he got hurt? as james watched them say goodbye, he couldn’t help but stare longer than he should have. part of what was running through his head was ‘why didn’t he just listen to moony?’ he had warned him sirius liked her, and if he had made his move that night y/n wouldn’t have went through so much pain. but then the other part of him was screaming ‘that could have still been yours if you didn’t fuck it up’. he was just about to turn away, to look back at lily, who was staying at his for the summer, so they could find his parents when he saw them kiss.
plucking up all the courage she had, y/n kissed him, and he instantly kissed back. it was the first kiss since the game of spin the bottle, and god, did he miss the way her lips felt on his. before things got too heated in front of a bunch of random families, they pulled away smiling. “i really like you, siri” he smiled at her, pecking her lips once more “i really like you too, y/n/n” before they could kiss again, she was being ushered by remus and his family, since she was staying with them for the summer. before they were out of each other’s like of sight, he yelled “girlfriend?” she nodded and replied “boyfriend.” just as she was about to turn fully away, she faced him and spoke loud enough for him to hear “stay safe, owl me as much as you can, but if it will get you in trouble don’t even think about it”
-
spending the summer with remus was so far so good, but she always has a worry in the back of her mind. was sirius ok? he hadn’t sent her a letter yet, so either he’s really not good, or he can’t do it without being caught. but every time she was alone her mind would wander to the ‘what ifs’. what if he was in danger? what if he gets seriously hurt? what if she could have stopped it? what if she could have just convinced him not to go?
on one of the many occasions she caught herself doing this, a knock on the door shook her out of it. currently the lupin’s were at the shops, so she forced herself to get up and open the door. “james?! what ar-“ he quickly cut her off “it’s sirius, he showed up at my house really hurt, he’s currently at st. mungos getting fixed up, he wants to see you” he rushed out as quickly as he could. y/n nodded quickly, and turned back to the kitchen “what are you doing?” she shook him off, trying to find a piece of paper, once she did she looked up at him quickly. “letting the lupin’s know where i’ve gone. don’t need them stressing aswell”
once they arrived she couldn’t stop the tears that were forcing their way out of her eyes, she hated seeing him laying there so helplessly. she didn’t realise he was awake until she grabbed his hand, he looked up at her with a slight smile. “how y’feelin’? she spoke but it came out more of a whisper. “better now that your here.” she giggled and let her thumb gently rub circles against the back of his hand “you’re so cheesy” he smiled at her. she leant down and kissed his forehead. “i’m glad your ok, all things considered.”
as they continued to converse james couldn’t look away, now matter how much he wanted to. he couldn’t stop the feeling of guilt creeping up his spine. he caused her months of pain and for what? so he could get the girl that never even willingly looked in his direction before.
i keep changing the yet to be posted chapters on the masterlist of dressed to nice for a jacket. sorry not sorry. it’s my thought process of where the story is going, so every time i delete or add something don’t mind me i’m just changing the story a bit 😭
Andddd I'm not hating on James I swear I love them both soooo much. Please don't mistake my bitterness for James slander lol ( continued from the previous ask)
oh no i completely get you, i’m the same. it’s like james angst always pegs him as a dick so you can’t help but be angry at him yanno 😭 even though irl james would be the biggest sweetest softy ever ✋😩
James was kinda nice in this part but ngl I still want James and Lily to pay somehow. It wouldn't be fair if they get away with the shitty things they did 😭. I mean don't get me wrong I love how y/n stood up for herself and yelled at him but I want them both to experience that hurt soooo bad i probably sound bitter af now but I'm ready to throw hands 😭
same tbh. but i feel like (especially in future chapters) it kind of adds to it. a lot of her songs explain how it’s hard to be around an ex partner that ended badly but you still hang around. and i feel like if that happened in the marauders friendship group - everyone would be throwing hands - but they’d also respect the fact that some people make mistakes.
so are we mad at james? 100%
but at the same time y/n is finding her feet, and part of that is realising that life is way too short to be pissed about a stupid mistake. yanno. cause james genuinely meant no malice in hooking up with lily, he was too lost in the fact she was talking to him to pay attention to the fact that it was bad.
tbh i think lily is more in the wrong cause she wasn’t stupid, she could see the affect she had on james. she should have spoken to him before hooking up with him whilst knowing he was with y/n y’know. because james es legit crazy in love with her and everyone knew this.
anyhow, i’m glad you’re enjoying the story!
but yes we are all prepared to throw hands for y/n cause she’s precious !!!
