"I didnât think that." He gives a small shrug, because he thinks the question was more telling about him than her. He didnât figure her for one, even with the incense. It was a common trick to cover up the smell, but there was this sense of innocence when he talked to her that didnât make her answer all that surprising. But his expression changed at the next words, not so much because it wasnât anything he didnât expect, but because it was different hearing her say it. He had his own guesses about her at this point, and it had him studying her a moment longer than usual before he forced his eyes away before they started to wander. "I guess," he said quietly. It wasnât arguing, because he could understand it. He just hadnât been the same, and his voice was quiet when he answered. "But if you donât have control in the first place it makes it easier to stomach."
He stiffened slightly when she leaned forward, but she didnât come close enough to set him off and he was grateful for that. The words had him ducking his head, a shy, half-smile on his lips before he shook his head. âNah, itâs good.â It was partially a lie, but it occupied his hands, kept them warm and gave him something to drink when he started getting distracted so he didnât want to give it up. Maybe sheâd understand that if he explained, but it was volunteering too much. âYou read about cheese. Ping pong is the only answer Iâll accept.â
She's genuinely appreciative when he says he didn't think she was a pothead. Being judged, being scrutinized in that way isn't something she likes to think about and though she knows it's part of human nature to try and understand people by classifying them into familiar categories, she doesn't like that people put her into certain areas. Some of it's irrational fear, but most of it just stems from the fact she doesn't want to be that exposed to people. She doesn't want them to think she's something she's not, but in order to prevent that, she has to figure out what she is in the first place. It's a vicious cycle and the longer she thinks about it, the more her mood is souring so she just smiles at him.Â
"Nothing makes it easier to stomach," she says and it's an automatic response, one she doesn't think about before the words are out of her mouth. The smile slips from her lips and her head ducks, her hands curled around her teacup and her thumbs running around the rim. She clears her throat, like maybe he hadn't heard it and moves on. "I'm the house champion of ping pong." She lifts her head again, the smile coming back though it's slightly half hearted. "Just so you know."Â















