crying is a free action.

used to be a DM, now i mostly rb dice. (they/them.)

[probablybadrpgideas]

Big bad who can only be killed by a cisgender, heterosexual adventurer in a monogamous relationship

Good luck finding a PC like that, you fools! Mwahahaha!

[asha-mage]

DnD Character Concept: A Cleric who insists stubbornly and earnestly that their obviously evil patron deity (I'm thinking Lolth or Asmodeus but really any Evil Greater God would do) is actually Good and Benevolent and Just and dismisses all evidence to the contrary as slander from rival deities. Their proof to their claim? Using their divinely granted powers for the most intensely Good tasks and quests they can find: feeding the hungry, protecting the weak, curing the sick- all done in the name of their Terrible Dread Lord and without any expectation of compensation or string attached.

The deity in question is all "???" but keeps granting the cleric power because all that free worship and influence from the people who now pray to them is nice, and hey if the cleric wants to put in the leg work to launder the deity's reputation what reason do they have to say no?

Only it turns out that the cleric is actually playing 4D chess because of the way faith works in Faerun (and most DnD settings). As more and more worshipers start believing The Terrible Dread Lord is actually a Good and Kind and Noble god they start to be influenced by that to become Good and Kind and Noble. Slowly but surely they find themselves warping to match the perception of the masses. It starts by just giving a few random blessings out of what they think is pity, or maybe sending a sign to help someone who is lost on what the deity insists is a whim....but it snowballs until you have Lolth smiting down slavers or Asmodeus sending out devil's to drag down a tyrant to the depths of hell and then they realize 'oh oh no' but by then it's to late: the religious reform movement within their flock is too massive and been ignored for too long as benign. They can't just turn around and smite their own followers- not only because it's tacky but because they feel... compassion and responsibility for those that look to them for guidece.

And then you have the cleric, who at level twenty is literally their most powerful agent and also the high priest of this out of control heresy smugly sipping their tea because they where right all along. Their faith in their deity is vindicated- after all what is faith if not believing in something so strongly, against all evidence, that it becomes truth unto itself?

[probablybadrpgideas]

So, I love D&D 3.5, but my friends only want to play 5th edition. To compromise, I’m gonna play a barbarian who follows the most strict rule between the two sets. I can only use the Concentration, Sleight of Hand, and Survival skills. I won’t be able to make two attacks until I’m level 6. My rage lasts a maximum of 5 rounds and then I take a level of exhaustion. I’m not proficient in any saving throws.

This is how D&D is meant to be played.

your own special 4.25 edition

[dicegremlin]

#mycereal <3 (inspired by @fightingchancestudio's post!)

[writing-prompt-s]

The world’s tiniest dragon must defend his hoard, a single gold coin, from those who would steal it.

[mildswearingat4am]

Suggestion: The dragon’s definition of “steal” is somewhat loose. It still allows the coin to be used and bartered and change hands–but on one condition: the dragon must be with it at all times.

They become a familiar sight in the marketplace.

“Here’s your change, ma'am. One gold piece.” The merchant holds out a palm, on top of which rests a tiny, brilliantly colored creature clutching a single gold coin.

“That’s a dragon,” you say dumbly. “One piece… and a dragon.”

“Yes.”

You cautiously reach out and attempt to take your change. You tug. It holds. You tug harder. The dragon lets loose a tiny, protective growl.

“Ma'am–no, ma'am, you have to take the dragon, too.”

“Sorry?”

The seller notes your dubious expression. “Not from around here, are ya?” They shrug. “Them’s the rules. Take the coin, take the dragon.”

They wait expectantly. Wondering how the world has so suddenly gone mad, you slowly, slowly hold out your hand.

The dragon perks right up. It scampers from their palm to yours with the coin clamped in its jaws and scales your sleeve with sharp little claws.

“Have a nice day, ma'am,” the merchant says. “Spend him soon, now, you hear? At another booth, if you can. He likes to travel.”

From its perch upon your shoulder, the dragon lets out a happy trill.

[bdubs8807]

Bonus: the coin eventually passes to the rogue in a group of travelling adventurers. The dragon becomes the mascot of the entire group, and they lay out a small pile of coins for him to sleep on every night, clutching his coin like a teddy bear.

[freesiadotcom]

inspired by the scariest words my dm has ever said to me and the subsequent coolest (AND SCARIEST) scene of my life

[probablybadrpgideas]

Drop out of your solo game due to scheduling conflicts.

[rillabel]

mimic that has a diagetic red clickbait circle with arrows to get you to investigate it.

[rillabel]

[prokopetz]

Given how much of feline play and social behaviour are imitative in character, I feel like it shouldn't come as a surprise to gamers that their cats want to roll the shiny math rocks, too. Like, you demonstrated that this is a form of play and let them watch you do it. They're participating!

[gallusrostromegalus]

If a player can't make it to the table, we let Mochi play their character in their absence. He loves slapping those little rocks around and has learned to gently touch minis on the table to indicate who he's targeting in combat.

Is there a risk he will roll badly and kill your character? Yes.

Is there an even more serious risk that he will roll better and make more sound tactical decisions than you ever have, become hero of the realm, and demonstrate how badly you need to work on your engagement skills? Also Yes!

He may also spend or make you a ton of money. We don't know why but he consistently beats the house whenever the party goes gambling.

[dramatic-dolphin]

who let biologists play dnd

[roxictimes]

When will the dice be rolled again?

[victusinveritas]

[jackhawksmoor]

[weaselle]

"adventurers are actually more scared of you than you are of them"

"he's literally just doing what an adventurer is supposed to do"

"do you think they think of us as Giant Adventurers?"

"do you know how many other creatures would be infesting our cave if there were no adventurers?"

"how would you like it if you were bumbling along on your little adventurer day, and some giant dragon thing squished you for the crime of being yourself?"

"y'know, so many dragons are grossed out by them, but i think they're fascinating! Did you know some adventurers form symbiotic relationships with small monsters? Some of them even do a simplified form of spellcraft! Like, with actual magic and everything!"

[wheeloffortune-design]

DnD is a way to show your friends how bad you are at adding very small numbers under pressure.

[zangoonse]

a party of adventurers that are all equally convinced that they are in completely different forms of media

[zangoonse]

the mage keeps giving smug glances in the direction they assume a camera is in. the fighter keeps getting indignant about missing attacks because of "bad dice rolls." the rogue is doubtful that a villain is gone for good because "nobody ever stays dead in comics." the paladin attributes fortune to "good rng." none of them have even considered that "tumblr post" was an option

[probablybadrpgideas]

Creepy things that could be in the forest

HOLY SHIT! TREES!

The creepy fair-folk elves from medieval folklore...are on holiday at the moment, so you've got Santa's Christmas elves trying their best to sub in.

Abandoned cabin haunted by the ghost of another, more abandoned cabin.

Various adorable animals working together to use a shotgun.

Non-ancient cult to a non-ancient horror. They were founded last week and their primordial god is a month old. You're actually their first human sacrifice, please say if you have any constructive criticism :)

Talking crows who have been on some very dodgy message boards lately. They're not dangerous but they're very problematic.

Legolas but he's done snapped

Very generic slasher who's fully aware that this is one of his late-franchise box office bombs. He's still gonna come after you with a machete, contractual obligations, but his heart's clearly not in it anymore.

Allegorical representation of the horrors of late-stage capitalism and the urban wasteland who showed up to the wrong setpiece and is hoping no-one notices.

A bear. Oh, a bear's too generic and mundane is it? Not scary enough? How about I put you in a clearing with an angry bear and see how calm you are? Huh? Thought so. There's a fucking bear. Make me a sanity check, asshole.

[the-macintosh-system]

Hey, @probablybadrpgideas I rolled a 4 for the sanity check, what happens?

[probablybadrpgideas]

don't worry about it ;-)

[probablybadrpgideas]

Have the player roll 200 of every die before the start of the campaign. The results will be used in that order.

[yourplayersaidwhat]

"I don't manipulate people's minds- that's much too complicated. Instead, I mess with the very fabric of reality. Much easier."

-The Magpie, 13th level Wizard