Rococo Insinuations

"I keep telling her I'm not prepared to tolerate her risible, her tendentious, her eclectic, her ornate, her rococo insinuations and garbled inventions." -Harold Pinter, A Kind of Alaska

[sarahseeandersen]

[selfgoals]

If you can’t reblog this, unfollow me now.

[liathepenguinologist]

corn right corn at corn light

[lichen-soup-scribe]

first corn i see tonight

[mediamattersforamerica]

Damn. 

[wilwheaton]

Fuck Trump, and fuck everyone who continues to stand by him and support him.

[chrisriddellblog]

Eurydice.

[politicalprof]

If they can read, anyway …

Ht: AR

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

me: what a lovely day! even the flowers are singing!

flowers (singing): the sins of our forefathers bind us to the dirt

[tastefullyoffensive]

(via eliyudin)

[skankityslutslut]

[wenchyfloozymoo]

[witchgrindergeneral]

Reblogge if thou hast a melancholic temperament and an excess of black bile

[lilit69-deactivated20181210]

art from the tomb of Ramses IV

[yungkingblackbolt]

“When I die, I want y'all to make a bigass wall carving of me with a hard on and have a tiny dude swingin off that shit. That’s how I wanna be remembered.” -Ramses IV

[unpretty]

some dudes like to talk a big game about how comedy suffers when people are afraid to offend but man, Mitch Hedberg was a white dude working in the era of peak offensive edgelord and his shit holds the fuck up so while most comedians will never come up with anything as timeless as “if carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up” they could at least make an effort

[unpretty]

[siphersaysstuff]

Every McDonald’s commercial ends the same way, right? “Prices and participation may vary.” I wanna open a McDonald’s and not participate in anything. I wanna be a stubborn McDonald’s owner. I’ll say “Cheeseburgers? Nope. We got spaghetti! And blankets! We are not affiliated with that clown.”

Every book is a children’s book if the kid can read.

I would like to have a product that was available for three easy payments and one fuckin’ complicated payment. We can’t tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is gonna be a bitch! The mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamp will be in the wrong denomination! Good luck, fucker! That last payment must be made in wampum!

Hey, if you wanna talk to me after the show, I’ll be… fuckin’ surprised.

[awa64]

This shirt is “dry-clean only”… Which means it’s dirty.

One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, he said “Here’s a picture of me when I was younger.” Every picture is of you when you were younger. “Here’s a picture of me when I’m older.” “You son-of-a-bitch! How’d you pull that off? Lemme see that camera… What’s it look like? ”

An escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. You would never see an “Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order” sign, just “Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

I play golf. I’m not good at golf, I never got good. I never got a hole-in-one. But I did hit a guy. And that’s way more satisfying. You’re supposed to yell “Fore!” but I was too busying mumbling “There ain’t no way that’s gonna hit him.”

When you’re in Hollywood and you’re a comedian, everybody wants you to do other things besides comedy. They say “All right you’re a stand up comedian, can you act? Can you write? Write us a script.” They want me to do things that’s related to comedy, but it’s not comedy. That’s not fair. It’s as though if I was a cook, and I worked my ass off to become a good cook, and they said “All right you’re a cook… can you farm?”

[amphitryo-deactivated20190813]

- “Rice is great when you’re you’re hungry and you want 10,000 of something”

- “Tennis is depressing because no matter how good you get, you will never be as good as a wall”

- “I order the club sandwich all the time, but I’m not even a member, man. I don’t know how I get away with it”

[sarahseeandersen]

[rococoinsinuations]

Me, all the time, always.

[niggasandcomputers]

[iguanamouth]

[cemeteryconservation]

Nothing to see here, just a street corner in New Orleans…..

[bodaciousbanshee-deactivated202]

This is The Violin Monster and he’s really cool. You should all look him up on Facebook. He’s the most talented violinist I have ever met, and he’s super sweet and friendly. He also teaches violin to kids. His back story is he’s a 400+ year old werewolf from Galway, Ireland who plays violin to quell his hunger for human flesh. I forget the details of how he became a werewolf, but I think it had something to do with a deal he made with a witch.

Story time: so one day I actually had spending money, so for funsies I kept putting money in his jack-o-lantern (that’s what his tip bucket is) requesting Scotch-Irish folk songs, and he didn’t just play every song he PLAYED them like he was in a music battle with the Faery King. I was quite impressed. Later, I ran into him, mask-off, at Café Envie and I told him “That was really cool, but you still didn’t play my favorite song ‘The King of the Faeries,’ do you not know it?” and Violin Monster looked around and over his shoulder, and then leaned over me and said in a hushed tone: “Oh I know it, but it’s bad luck to play that song. They say if you play it three times the Faery King himself will appear. So I don’t play that song anymore.” And then he smiled and walked away.

I don’t think Zach is just one of those performers who never breaks character, I think he’s actually summoned faeries by accident with his amazing music.

[duskenpath]

The man KNOWS