Mocktagon

[distinguishedbaloney]

[archiemcphee]

It’s time to redecorate Geyser of Awesome HQ. First things first, the foyer is getting a stylish Hot Dog Sofa and Hamburger Chair. Both are from the Fast Food Furniture collection, which was designed by Seletti and Studio Job for MAISON&OBJET PARIS 2017. Every seat is improved with the addition of

[via designboom]

[melonmemes]

[plasmalogical]

they were right

[awa64]

“This Country” was the UK. A1 Sauce was invented by Henderson William Brand, supposedly during his tenure as a Chef for King George IV in the 1820s, although (as the bottle says) he didn’t introduce it for commercial sale until 1862.

So instead of imagining someone adjacent to a Civil War battlefield taste-testing the perfect steak sauce to reunite brothers divided by the question of slavery, imagine a Brit going “The only thing more delicious than the news of the Yanks at each other’s throats is a steak lightly coated with my international sauce.”

[venavis-deactivated20171224]

SO I RESTARTED MASS EFFECT: ANDROMEDA AND SPENT AN ETERNITY IN THE CC. FEELIN GOOD ABOUT MYSELF. BUT THEN I GET TO ALEC’S INTRO A N D

I THINK ??? I MADE DADSYLVESTER STALLONE ???

I’M DYIN

[awa64]

You made him his voice actor, Clancy Brown.

[obviousplant]

I made some state tourism ads and left them outside a local travel agency.

More stuff like this on Facebook | Instagram

[lookingforanepiphany]

Keith Haring in 1989: “Unfinished Painting”. Haring died few months after and this is his last painting. This is supposed to be a self-portrait. Haring knew he wouldn’t have enough time to finish it. This is one of the saddest but certainly the most powerful thing I’ve ever seen.

[auntbutch]

to clarify: this is a finished self portrait. haring did know that he would be unable to continue to work; this “unfinished” painting refers to that self-consciously as a visualization of how the aids crisis and government neglect robbed him of his life and future career.

i feel like this distinction is important? there are many artists who died due to hiv/aids and left unfinished work, but haring made this specifically to comment on his impending death. i feel like stating that it’s actually unfinished takes away some of his agency as an artist/activist/pwa and the political power of the work. 

[iaconunderground]

Iacon Underground Radio – Episode 58 – Precious Science Baby

Iacon Underground Radio – Episode 58 – Precious Science Baby

This week we talk Stan Bush, Titans Returns voice casting, and whether ROM vs. Transformers is just some inane forced crossover or oh ha ha ha no it totally isn’t.

View On WordPress

[siphersaysstuff]

Shit, Harvey Atkin died on the 17th.

King Koopa & Sam (of “& Max”). He had a fantastic voice.

[keatulie]

imagine being a little kid in 2017 and your parents put this on for you and you have absolutely no familiarity with the original film

[awa64]

Imagine being a little kid in 2017 and your parents put the original film on for you.

[iaconunderground]

Iacon Underground Radio – Episode 57 – No One Cares About Action Man

Iacon Underground Radio – Episode 57 – No One Cares About Action Man

This week we discuss the relative popularity of Hasbro IPs, pissing off racists, and Optimus Prime #9!

View On WordPress

[hellsyeschezapocalypse]

How did 60s Britain cut its suicide rate by 30% by accident? | BrightSci

When Britain switched from coal gas to natural gas over the course of the 1960s and 70s, its suicide rate dropped by 1/3. Wait what? In this episode, we're t...

[machsabre]

Starscream, the Lonely Leader.

I’m REALLY going to miss this comic.

[weavemama]

???????????????

[elfvenomm]

even Fido hates you SoundCloud artists. You people should be ashamed.

[toytowns]

‘raid tests on animals’ well no fucking shit it’s a pesticide

[nocakeno]

did you see how one of them is purina

i mean, purina doesn’t make GOOD pet food, but…

[dvandom]

My main complaint is that there’s a lot of redundancy in that list, for the sake of shock value.   P&G owns a big chunk of the other brands shown, for instance, so claiming (for instance) Tide and P&G is double-dipping. Raid’s animal tests, assuming it’s not just “because they’re owned by a ConHugeCo that does animal testing somewhere in the organization” situation, are probably more to do with spraying repellants on them or feeding them low doses of repellant in order to test toxicity.  If it makes the pig break out in hives, don’t spray it on your kid.  If eating it kills the dog, don’t put it in a product left on the floor where a retriever lives.  That sort of thing. Purina’s animal testing could get iffy if they’re trying out “cheap but edible in principle” filler to see if it gives your pet massive diarrhea or whatever. Soundcloud?  I got nuthin’.

[esser-z]

And I mean. What do these people want? Do they want us to test products on humans?

[awa64]

[st-pam]

[unpretty]

some dudes like to talk a big game about how comedy suffers when people are afraid to offend but man, Mitch Hedberg was a white dude working in the era of peak offensive edgelord and his shit holds the fuck up so while most comedians will never come up with anything as timeless as “if carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up” they could at least make an effort

[unpretty]

[siphersaysstuff]

Every McDonald’s commercial ends the same way, right? “Prices and participation may vary.” I wanna open a McDonald’s and not participate in anything. I wanna be a stubborn McDonald’s owner. I’ll say “Cheeseburgers? Nope. We got spaghetti! And blankets! We are not affiliated with that clown.”

Every book is a children’s book if the kid can read.

I would like to have a product that was available for three easy payments and one fuckin’ complicated payment. We can’t tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is gonna be a bitch! The mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamp will be in the wrong denomination! Good luck, fucker! That last payment must be made in wampum!

Hey, if you wanna talk to me after the show, I’ll be… fuckin’ surprised.

[awa64]

This shirt is "dry-clean only"... Which means it's dirty.

One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, he said "Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture is of you when you were younger. "Here's a picture of me when I'm older." "You son-of-a-bitch! How'd you pull that off? Lemme see that camera... What's it look like? "

An escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

I play golf. I'm not good at golf, I never got good. I never got a hole-in-one. But I did hit a guy. And that's way more satisfying. You're supposed to yell "Fore!" but I was too busying mumbling "There ain't no way that's gonna hit him."

When you're in Hollywood and you're a comedian, everybody wants you to do other things besides comedy. They say "All right you're a stand up comedian, can you act? Can you write? Write us a script." They want me to do things that's related to comedy, but it's not comedy. That's not fair. It's as though if I was a cook, and I worked my ass off to become a good cook, and they said "All right you're a cook... can you farm?"

[juanin-pro]

[spankmehillary-deactivated20220]

I feel like Adam Sandler has a pair of these

[dennystopplayingfootball]

I feel like that IS adam sandler in the photo

[awa64]

...is he in a short?

Like, as in the singular form of shorts?

[littlemissonewhoisall]

My ideal beginning to a Batman movie:

We start with a slow pan down to Gotham as Oracle narrates

“Ask your average person who Gotham’s most famous citizen is, and you’ll get the same response every time: Bruce Wayne. Everybody’s heard of Bruce Wayne. You’ve probably heard his name a million times before. But there are some things that the average citizen doesn’t know about him. See, to the people of Gotham, Bruce Wayne is a rich kid who never grew up. They think he’s a buffoon, an airhead, a moron. But the truth is…”

*Batman bursts out of a window, screaming, on fire*

*record scratch, freeze frame*

“…they aren’t entirely wrong about that.”

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

EHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

[experimental-sponge]

This is then followed by a series of clips from interviews with various Gotham citizens, all of whom give humorously ironic descriptions of Bruce Wayne’s idiocy:

“Bruce Wayne? I hear the guy gets through a super-car every month! Replaces every one, just like that!”

*Cut to shot of the Batmobile flipping end-over-end after slamming into one of Bane’s APCs*

[littlemissonewhoisall]

“Wayne? Please! The guy would probably have accidentally killed himself years ago if he didn’t have that butler to babysit him!” *Cut to Alfred physically restraining Bruce from going out to fight Scarecrow while having a broken arm, a concussion, and the flu,*

“I bet he throws away cash like it grows on trees!”

*Cut to Batman shouting “Hey, Lucius! Ask R&D to make some kryptonite/Nth metal alloy baterangs! Y’know, just in case!”

“I’m almost jealous. Super rich and he gets to hang out with gorgeous women across the world? Sign me up!”

*Cut to Bruce being slammed face first into a wall repeatedly by Lady Shiva.*

[johnnyrico]

@smut-smut-in-the-butt this seems like something you’d be interested in

[smut-smut-in-the-butt]

This is the Batman I long for.

[awa64]

I hate to reblog just to nitpick, but a) this is wonderful, and b) the line ought to be:

*record scratch* “...they have no idea just how right they are.”