we waste our lives drowning in wine

there was no room in his soul for reproach.

[roihcnry]

thcrnyrose:

of course, she was exhausted. the stagecoach ride had been a chance for rest, but that didn’t mean the day of travel wasn’t to be felt deep in her bones. there again is the frustrating disconnect between her mind and her body. her mind is full of energy, thoughts and topics of conversation are buzzing around in her head and her mouth is aching to speak for hours. but her body is weary and she can’t decide if she’s shivering from fever or from the chilly rainy weather. 

“oh - i hope he’s not planning on hurrying home. please don’t tell him i’ve said this, but i don’t think i’m ready to see him yet. oh, i’m so afraid of what he would think about me now.” she smiles as she follows her friend into the room over to the armchair. while she doesn’t want to be led or coddled by her friend, she’s nearly weak with the giddiness she’s feeling from being around her friend again. “they have the most marvelous scarves and hats up north, dellia. they keep out a lot of the cold. do tell me, have their been any problems with the war efforts here? up north it’s all anyone can talk about.” she grins at the mention of her cousin, lifting her hand to rest her chin on it. “oh, he’s doing fine. wrote to me just as we were leaving. he’s busy with preparations, but he spoke about missing you dearly.”

cordelia sits beside nellie, and sets a thick blanket over the lap of her friend, her own hands wringing in the thick fabric. she knows the chill from her bones can’t be taken away easily, but it’s all she can do to help. 

“oh, he and father won’t be home until tomorrow at the earliest, though i wish they would be here now for your arrival! you know joshua cares for you deeply, and you are still as beautiful and bright as ever.” delia went on and on. “he at least knows how to show his affections, unlike other young men we know. i believe all the men in my family have stolen to romance from this whole state-- jacob and elizabeth, the one he’s been sweet on forever are getting married in june. and joshua is always hung up on you, if you would indulge him, just a bit.” she scolded gently. but her boy was off fighting some silly war, and she was here alone.

“the war effort? oh, i keep out of it, you ought to know that. mother insists that it’s not talk for polite company. the younger boys are itching to go off and fight, but father won’t let them. charles writes us regularly, but he doesn’t include many details. about as many as jefferson.” delia rolled her eyes, pushing nellie’s shoulder gently. “i’m glad you can keep his head on his shoulders for him. if only he would write me how much he misses me.” 

[roihcnry]

thcrnyrose:

“if only we could send everyone off, be just a family for a time. he’s growing like a weed, and soon there’ll be another little one to watch grow” she firmly intends to bring up her pregnancy as often as she can, absolutely shamelessly. she had to go weeks without being able to tell anyone that she was with child and now that there was someone she could talk to about it, she was thrilled. 

“we’ll go in, mingle while the boy eats, sneak away to tuck him into bed, and then entertain the guests for a while.” she sets the child down, giving his pants a tug so they don’t fall down, and kisses the top of his head while they continue walking, though slower as their child attempts to toddle to keep up. she’d been told to not carry him as often so he can learn to walk steadier - but it’s so hard when she just wants to scoop him up.

“what about a whole house of little ones?” henry teased, wrapping an arm around his wife’s waist, and squeezing, just a bit. “we have enough kids, and then we just won’t have any space for anyone else in this place.” of course it was a joke, but it was something to laugh about. henry could do without all of these damn people all the time. 

“you mean you’ll entertain the guests with your sparkling personality, and i’ll debate politics with the same people every week.” he snorted, a smile brightening up his face as their little boy toddled along. he was growing so quickly, and henry hadn’t been here to see it. but he was home now. and all would be well. 

[roihcnry]

thcrnyrose:

the female politely requests another drink as she feels her nerves beginning to sink in a bit. not because of the boy, but because she was about to go out on a late night adventure with a mysterious, attractive, charming guy that she just met in a bar. “whatever i want? that’s a pretty dangerous thing to say.” a smile brightens her face as the bartender’s places the drinks in front of them, she nods her head in thanks. 

“there’s nowhere else you’d rather live? there has to be somewhere. what about just to visit?” she feels the coolness of the glass against her fingertips as she raises it to her lips. she can feel her cheeks begin to burn with blush as she sips on whatever the liquid was. she’s not good at knowing alcohol, she just drinks whatever is handed to her. or in this case, what he ordered for her. “well i’ve seen my apartment, the campus, and this bar. so a decent amount of course.” her drink gets set down on the counter, arms wrapping around her chest before she speaks - “convince me to go with you, and I will.” said with her signature darcy smile. she sticks her tongue out a bit, bites down on the tip and grins.

“well, i’ve always loved rome. and the nightlife in berlin is unforgettable.” henry mused. “but france is my favorite place in the world. paris. marsilles. nice. toulouse. anything you could ever ask for. though, paris does hold a special spot in my heart.” at her brief description of her time in france, henry shook his head furiously. “and how long have you been in our country? you haven’t been to the louvre? champs-elysees? notre dame? i’m rather disappointed!” he tsked. “and away from the tourists, you haven’t been to paris until you’ve sat in a cafe with the best coffee, judging everyone around you.” he teased, eyes bright as he thought of the countless possibilities the night could hold. he could make a few calls-- get access to a few places normally closed this time of the night.... “what did you come to paris for if not to experience something new?”

[roihcnry]

thcrnyrose:

“vous assurez, mon petit prince.” her little prince, how she loves him! she never imagined her heart could be filled with so much love but the sight of her son sends her flying. she looks at him with such pride - in herself as well, as it was not an even task to bring him into this world and yet her husband and her produced the most lovely being. it sends butterflies to her stomach, where their next child was coming to life. she looks over to her husband and her hand automatically moves to set on her stomach as a sigh of comfort and warmth leaves her body. a second child, what a lovely thought. 

scooping up the boy to keep her close to her chest, she begins to make their way. in silence she makes her way to the entrance to the dining room, pausing outside the doors. “a small supper with just the three of us, though we must eat fast. our guests shall arrive shortly, and i’ve promised the child we would both kiss him goodnight tonight before they do.”

looking at his son, henry feels warmth grow in his chest. “we can’t keep the guests waiting?” he teased, moving in to smooth down a cowlick in the little boy’s hair. he had surely inherited an unruly head of hair from his father. he knew they couldn't , but the thought of it was exciting.  “wouldn’t that be nice? we could hold everyone off for one day. i’ve been out of the country for six weeks, you know.” he pointed out, half hoping that darcy would agree to his hairbrained plan. as he spoke, he held open the door to the dining room open for his wife, before following close behind. 

[roihcnry]

thcrnyrose:

nellie wants to fight cordelia off with one of her lovely gloves as she instantly buzzes around her like she’s someone who needs to be checked on and taken care of. her body may be crumbling but she knows that she can handle herself - it just doesn’t look that way sometimes. but the sight of her friend, despite her actions, does make her feel a bit brighter. already she can feel the effects of being home on her health, and it’s only been a few hours. though there’s an ache in her body that goes all the way down to her bones. 

“delia - i’m quite fine, you mustn’t worry. please, one question at a time.” she laughs - though it’s clearly not a laugh that resembled her usual. every time she laughed,  nellie used to tilt her head back and her hair would fall over her shoulder. every time. because laughter used to fill her entire body, now all that fills it is aches and a yearning for the past. she reaches out and with one arm, the other still firmly around her mother, grasps her dearest friends arm. “we have so much to talk about, i want to hear all that you could not fit in your letters.”

“well, come sit now. i’m afraid i must steal neliie away now, missus.” cordelia smiled lovingly up at the woman who had been so much like her second mother, and wrapped her arm around nellie’s waist. though things had changed, sometimes for cordelia, it was much easier to pretend they hadn’t. so she and nellie would do all the things they always had-- chatter and gossip and think about marvelous future plans, just... a bit easier on nellie.

cordelia lead nellie towards the sitting room, a bright smile on her face the whole while. “joseph is out with father right now, but i know the second he comes home he’ll be so excited to see you. and you must tell me everything! how is the north? the awful chilly weather must be awful for your sweet skin. and with the war brewing, it must have been frightful to come back this way! and tell me, how is jefferson?” she blabbered away, helping nellie to an armchair gently. perhaps it was too much speaking all at once, but cordelia did have a tendency to chat away her worries.  

[sonyawriites]

thcrnyrose:

“it’s a wonderful poem - but by the end of the night i would like to hear a poem that you write. i bet i could learn a lot about you by the types of poems you would write.” his smile brings a sense of warmth to her body and she’s sure it’s not merely because of the drink she had had way too quickly. “whatever i want? that’s a dangerous suggestion.”  

at first she fights an eye roll when he suggests leaving. why don’t we get out of here? isn’t that such a line. they had an entire ten minute conversation before he used that line. but then he mentions going somewhere else, around paris. and she smiles. “i haven’t seen much at all - i got here a few weeks ago and i’ve been studying ever since the plane landed.” she looks over at him, studying for a second -  the first moment of silence she’s allowed this entire time, “alright - but don’t you dare show me any cheesy tourist spots. i want authenticity.” 

“well, you’ll just have to give me some more time to think.” he laughed. he would hate to break it to her that he wasn’t a poet. sure he liked to read it, but he wasn’t the type of person who wrote it! well.. she didn’t have to know that! when she gave him a look, henry was about to interrupt. he didn’t want to take her home! god, if he took her home, he wouldn’t hear the end of it from his mother. you didn’t bring normal girls to a palace. that’s just not how it worked! But at her smile, henry couldn’t help but match it. “well, come on then! but really? no tourist spots? not even the top of the eiffel tower? i might no someone who can get us up there after hours.” he teased, standing up slowly and throwing a jacket over his shoulders.

[thcrnyrose-blog]

( @shelbyrps

nellie swore up and down that when she returned to her home, it would be a celebration. she would pull up in a svelte looking carriage, handsome horses and one of those beautiful dresses you see in the shop window’s, elegant and purple with satin bows. she would see all of the young men long since become grown who had always had an interest in her and meet them with a bat of her lashes and a laughing toss of her head while she spoke of the fine gentlemen up north. that’s not what happened though. nellie, the proud wild child, arrived home in a dark wagon befitting of her inner monologue. it was rainy, so she was bundled up in the coats of every other rider, insistent upon keeping the young female warm. 

her dress was meager, focused on warmth and comfort as opposed to flash. her mother and father insisted on going straight to see their long term family friends - cordelia and her brother. cordelia, her darling, darling friend. she had refused. but, she wasn’t the one in charge. it wasn’t that she didn’t want to see her friend. of course she did! she just knows that the news of her accident had already spread, that her family would be waiting. perhaps they’re waiting with more coats! how completely unnecessary and predicable that will be. her friend will mean well, but it’d be so different. and then joshua! the sweet boy, he’ll probably find her dull now, though she supposes she is. 

after waiting for the horses to stop, and debating back and forth with her parents about why she should not wait for her wheelchair - she has walked this distance thousands of times, thank you very much - she’s on the way. standing with her arms locked with her father and mother on either side, helping her as she still is working on her strength, she ventures forth as the attendants hold umbrellas hoping to shelter them from the rain. she knocks on the door …  

[roihcnry]

it had been nine hundred and thirteen days since cordelia had last seen her best friend. itfelt like forever, even more than forever and a day. But exchanged letters, and frequent notes kept nellie close on her mind. She loved hearing tales of what happened up north, and getting just a glimpse of nellie’s characteristic personality in the short letters she wrote. But of course, everyone knew what happened. and while cordelia was excited to see her best friend home, she never wanted it to happen like this. she was waiting anxiously in the drawing room, joshua pacing the floor. They were due to arrive any minute… and was that knock at the door? 

before anyone could even think about it, cordelia jumped up, grabbed her skirts in her hand, and darted off to rip open the door, a giant smile on her face. “nellie! oh, how I’ve missed you, do come in, i know it’s chilly outside, please, please come in!” She yelped, moving aside as she allowed nellie and her parents to move forward. “are you feeling okay? Was the journey long? how are you hiding up my dear?”

[roihcnry]

thcrnyrose:

“that doesn’t count - you stole it. that’s not a poem, it’s copyright infringement.” but she’s laughing either way. one thing about darcy is that she never giggles - when she laughs, it’s also a true and full one. “besides - it’s not about a cup, it features a cup. but i guess i’ll let it slide this once. if you buy me another drink.” she feels oddly comfortable talking to him, though she rarely ever had any hesitation in her voice, she always felt as if people weren’t interested in what she was saying but yet she couldn’t stop. here though, she felt as if he was really listening to what she was talking about.

“france is an interesting place to study economics. the french just feel differently about money and the policies around it. money is for enjoyment and for pleasantries, it’s not so nasty and ugly as america. like here, people would spend money to go out on an adventure or buy something nice; home, they would hoard it. do you like living here?”

“please!” henry protested, giving the woman a rare, genuine smile. her laughter was endearing but was she laughing at him? “fine. whatever you want is yours.” he finished his drink in one drink, and waved the bartender over.

“well, i don’t have many other options. i wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.” he said smoothly, leaning his head in his hands as he spoke. “how much of france have you seen? why don’t we get out of here? if you’d... like of course. i could show you the best spots around town!”

[roihcnry]

thcrnyrose:

“you know, they say that poets can write a small poem about anything, just from descriptions.” she’ll cock an eyebrow and offer him a gentle smirk before she tilts her head back and finishes her drink. she plops the empty glass down on the counter right in the middle of the two and spoke, “to prove that you are a poet, write a poem about this glass.” her light pink lips form a happy smile. 

“meanwhile - while you think, i can answer your questions.” she marks the stammer in his voice, and internally understands. it’s rough not knowing where you’re going in life. unsure if you’re fit for college or not. at least he’s figuring it out. “my degree is in economics. i know, i know that it’s hard to believe. what would an economics major be studying abroad? well - honestly, i’m not too sure why either.”

it is frankly disgusting the press is able to write whatever it wants to write“about this glass?” henry laughs, biting on his lip as he thinks. hopefully, there isn’t a time limit. but he has to say he’s interested while listening to her speak. a foreign girl, and one who is talking to him like any normal boy. he’s almost in love. “economics?” he questions, a smile playing on his features. “that sounds awful, no ffense, of course. I just don’t believe i could do it.”

finally, he comes up with a poem, lignting up instantly. “here we. go,” he begins. “bring me the sunset in a cup, reckon the morning's flagons up, and say how many dew, tell me how far the morning leaps— tell me what time the weaver sleeps, who spun the breadth of blue!” he recites nearly seamlessly, giving her a grin the whole while. “not my own, unfortunately. i must thank ms. emily dickinson for that one. but it’s close enough, isn’t it? it involves a cup!”

[roihcnry]

thcrnyrose:

‘‘well - soften the world a little bit? are you some sort of poet? that’s a pretty sentimental idea.’‘ she says with a small laugh leaving her small lips. the surprise wen he clinks their glasses registers in her face as the liquid in the glass sloshes, though she’s quick to not let it spill. lifting it to her lips, she knocks her head back and lets some of the burning liquid slide down her throat. putting her unfinished drink on the table, she turns once more to him. 

‘‘it must be nice - being able to travel so much. this is the farthest i’ve ever been from home. before this, i’ve only ever been to the city next to us.” she was surprised by how much she was enjoying the other’s company, even though it had only been a few sentences. something about the other was just easy to talk to, she was more comfortable anywhere else then she had been in all of france so far. maybe it was because he could speak english so well. ‘‘and what do you do? are you a student?’

“and if i am, would that be so bad?” he teased in return, his smile growing at her laugh. it was bright in a dingy place like this. and.... he like it. he lifted his glass when she did the same with hers, though in one swift movement, his drink was almost gone. he’d had quite a bit of practice.

“yes, but it can be a bit tiring. sometimes i would forget how home felt.” henry explained, leaning his chin in his hands as he spoke. if his mother could see him now, she would throw a fit. this was not how a prince held himself in public. “i-- a student? sort of. yes. yes. I am.” he caught himself quickly, hoping a beaming smile would distract her from his fumble. she truly didn’t know who he was. americans. “and you? what do you study here in france?”

[roihcnry]

thcrnyrose:

“not wrong - but your lack of faith in my ability to care for the child during pregnancy astounds me.” she says with an obvious joking tone as they walk down the halls of the castle - the home that she loves. at first, this building felt like her prison, keeping her hostage while she strove to escape. but now these walls are filled with so much love and happiness that she hates leaving. she grins and moves to meet their son in the middle, leaning down to catch him just as he stumbles forwards. “his steps are getting a bit more steady, though he gets too excited towards the end!”

“lack of faith? i have nothing but complete faith in you.” henry chuckled, smiling sweetly at his wife. he has loved her since the moment they met. well, that’s not entierly true. he hated her at first sight. but the moment they truly saw each other, henry was head over heels. and quite understandably so. he had the best wife in all of the world. 

“he’s got a drive, that’s for sure.” henry chuckled, bending down to press a kiss to his son’s chubby cheeks. the boy had his name, but he looked more like his mother, with those wonderful eyes. wasn’t he handsome? “how would you like some supper, little prince?”

[roihcnry]

thcrnyrose:

a small blush graces her cheek after his comment before she responds - “you really think you’re prepared to do that?” she turns in her chair to fully face him, one hand going to tuck a strand of loose hair behind her ear. “i mean - just look over at my friends right now, that’s what drunk girls are like.” 

“it’s not rude - i just, forget sometimes that i’m somewhere so different. i’ve only been here for a few weeks now. it’s been a cultural shook, for sure.” she’ll nod and flash him a thumbs up, approving of his geography skills. “have you ever traveled to america before?” that’s one thing she likes to hold over people here - that she’s well traveled now. even though she’s been to the states, and france. and . .  yeah that’s about it. she can already feel the charm.

“there is a first time for everything. i’ve been around drunk girls. but who says we have to get drunk? maybe just enough to soften the world a little bit.” he suggested, smiling fondly at the bartender when they brought back the drinks. he picked up his glass with a smirk, tapping his glass against her’s. “cheers!”

when she asked if he had ever traveled to america, henry nodded slowly. what was the best way to go about this? “i have, yes. my father travels a lot for... work. so we have followed him all over the world. i haven’t been in quite a long time, though.” this would be something close to the truth, at least. henry wasn’t sure if he wanted to force the whole truth onto his newfound friend just yet.

[roihcnry]

thcrnyrose:

“i’m not going to catch a chill just from being outside for a moment or two.” her eyes roll in his direction though she does what he says. after all, she knows she can’t fight him on everything. she likes to give him the illusion of being in charge of what she does - though, she’s pretty sure he can see through that. she notices the slight change in his smile so as she passes him, she’ll reach up and kiss him lightly. “don’t be so worried - this is happy.”

“am i  wrong to be cautious?” the king teases, letting darcy pass through before following his wife through the castle. he tended to be... a little overbearing when it came to things like this. but he just wanted to make sure his wife was safe! “this is happy. you’re right.” henry places a hand on her back, smiling when a nursemaid passes by with their child, his steps wobbly, though quick as he moved towards his parents. “and i do believe it will get even better now that we are all together!”

[roihcnry]

thcrnyrose:

she’ll laugh at his response, feeling surprisingly comfortable now that she’s not the only lame one at the bar. she’ll grin and nod at the bartender as they walk away, feeling rather relieved that he didn’t make her order for herself. she’ll just start slow and go from there. “i’m the responsible one tonight - though … “ and she looks over at where her friends are. “i don’t think they’ll be making it back to our place tonight anyway. i guess we can both rebel a little bit. but who’ll be the responsible one for us?” she says in a teasing voice, raising her eyebrow.

she forgets sometimes that she’s staying somewhere where her accent isn’t normal. this fact registers on her face with slight confusion before clearing up as the corners of her mouth lifted up into a smile. “i’m from seattle, washington. back in the states. i’m here studying abroad for the year.” she can’t get all dewy eyed over this boy. he was just another one of those french boys who manage to use their accents and french-ness to get some girl like her to swoon. but, she does understand why girls do - i mean, his eyes are just about perfect.

“that is debatable. i don’t know if i can be trusted without someone to look over me.” he laughs, giving her a charming smile. “i suppose we will just have to look out for each other!” 

“i apologize if i came off as rude, i was only curious.” he interjects quickly, relaxing some as she smiles. “seattle. i’m afraid my american geography is a little subpar, but i think i am familiar. near california?” it’s a total lie- he’s had geography drilled into his head for twenty years, the americans are their strongest allies. but it makes for an interesting conversation. “how long have you been in our lovely country, mademoiselle?” it is a well known fact he can turn on the charm when he wants to, and this is a situation where he really does.

[roihcnry]

thcrnyrose:

darcy had her head in the books for just about every single second she’s spent on her study abroad trip. of course, she wants nothing more than to venture out and see the city she was living in, but she’s been unable to break away from her studies for a night. it’s not that she needs the actual studying, her brainpower rivaled that of all the others on this trip combined. but, that didn’t mean she had time for even a moments rest. though, all of her thought processes went out the window tonight when the few friends she’s made dragged her out their building and took her out to a bar. 

though, she’s fairly positive they’d only taken her out so she could be the mom of the group. which is exactly what she’s doing. sitting back at the bar by herself while her friends were having fun a few feet away from her. she didn’t feel left out, in fact she would’ve been happier if they’d stayed even farther away from her while they were drunk. she loves her friends, but they’re the kind of crazy she doesn’t need right now. when someone starts to talk to her, she can’t help but want to shut the conversation down. she shouldn’t be here - who is she kidding herself. there’s too much to do and she’s not about to spend time getting chatted up by someone at this random bar. but she can hear a faint reminder in the back of her head from her friend - at least try and have fun. 

“if i told you i haven’t had a drink in forever - how much would you laugh at me?” actually, she’s never had any alcohol in her system. but, why not try a bit? 

when the stranger looks at him, henry can’t help but smile. he’s been around his fair share of women, but there’s something in her eyes that’s intriguing. And it’s odd that it sure looks like she couldn’t tell him from adam. “not if you wouldn’t laugh at me for the same.” he chuckles, twirling his straw in the glass of ice water. “i was supposed to be the responsible one tonight, but i do believe i can thrust off my responsibilities for one night out, don’t you think?” he waves over the bartender easily, and simply asks for whatever he reccomends, turning back to the woman. “you surely don’t sound like you’re from around here. might i ask where you’re from?” her accent sounds familiar, but then again, he’s been exposed to so many dialects and accents in his short life, they now all seem to run together. but her’s is something you don’t hear every day.

[roihcnry]

thcrnyrose:

of course she’s never forgotten about their first pregnancy - after all, that’s something no mother will ever get over. even throughout all of the joy their son, every once in a while she has a small reminder of what should have been. she smiles up at her husband, knowing he will do everything in his power to take care of her. although, there’s only so much he could do. and the things he didn’t have power over are the things that scare her the most. “i just don’t want to get the whole kingdom to celebrate only to be told otherwise.”

“of course dear.” that much is simple. not only does he remember his own heartbreak, but telling his family, the staff, and the kingdom’s people who seemed to love darcy as one of their own only made the pain worse. “well, lets get you inside before you catch a chill. after you darling.” he opens the door for her with a smile, though his initial happiness is now somewhat tainted. he only hopes the rest of the evening will go by smoothly.

[roihcnry]

thcrnyrose:

laughter echoes through the entrance as she’s dragged towards the doors. their son would be getting washed up for dinner now; she could practically feel the excitement of their son and she smiles thinking about it. henry had been talking all day and night about his father’s return, so now she’s anxious to get them back together, her son had lots of plans for the evening with his father. though she doubts he’ll be awake for too much longer. “well - maybe … maybe, we should wait to tell everyone.” she hates calling attention to their first child, the one they lost. but, what made that loss even harder was having to tell everyone, having to deal with that. she’ll stop walking, tugging on his arm to get his attention. “just . . just in case.”

henry pauses when darcy tugs on his sleeve, his smile dropping. how could he have been so foolish? “yes, of course. but... it won’t happen again.” he promises, though he knew deep in his heart he had no control over the matter. he pulls darcy into a tight hug, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. “we will wait to hear what the doctors say, does that sound correct?” he will also need to ask the doctors what on earth he can do to keep his wife happy, and healthy. they’ve had one successful pregnancy. they can do it again.