puff, puff, pass

I'm a joker. I'm a smoker. I'm a midnight toker. I sure don't want to hurt no one.

[sailormoonogen]

Imogen had never been open with her issues with Luke. Sure, she was close with Bianca and Fiona, but she could never open up with some of the things Luke did. And for a time, Imogen herself didn’t really care about the issues, nor did she see them. For Imogen, Luke was always stable. No matter how much of a jackass he could be, he was reliable. Not that Jake wasn’t, but still, he already proved to her that in a state of unrest he’d flee and with her life, the way things were with her dad and with Natalie, Imogen needed someone who would be there always. It was selfish, and she was ashamed of it, but she needed someone who was there for her. But standing there with Jake, it was stupid to think she’d doubted him because of this other fear: that if she opened herself up to him that’d he’d leave her like everyone else had in the past.

She felt herself be swept away in his kiss, wanting desperately to melt into him. In the haze of her mind, she couldn’t help but wonder how she’d kept herself away all this time. She’d kissed him once, and that feeling of her senses awakening had happened, and somehow she’d fled him, it was crazy. How had she even left him after a kiss like that? When she gasped for air, her eyes sparkled when she saw him put the joint back in his pocket. Imogen’s heart skipped a beat at his words, and her cheeks burned. Leaning back into his kiss, ready to be swept away once again, her mind played the cruelest trick of them all. Just before his lips connected with her’s, all she could see was Luke’s face - hurt, defeated, betrayed… the face he’d worn at the dance, when he’d broken up with her. Jake’s lips hit her’s and for a second she stood there like a dead fish, unable to shake the image. Pulling back, she looked down at their shoes, the guilt flooding her to the brim. She had to talk to Luke. She had to apologize.

Unable to look Jake in the eye for a moment, she looked over at his tomato plants, trying to regain her composure. “Sorry.” Her voice was quiet, and she realized she was about to cry and shut her eyes for a minute, regrouping. “I’m really sorry, I just… I have to go, I’m sorry.” She finally looked at him, guilt etching her features and then she looked back down at the ground. 

[rollerjake]

Most days, Jake felt like he was far more of a realist than anything else, but as he held Imogen's small frame so close, he felt like one of the hopeless romantics, and he actually liked it. It didn't feel scary like he thought it would, it felt natural and exciting. The taste of her lips left him wanting more, and for the first time in his life, he didn't see the end of something before it could ever truly start. He wanted for this to be different than anything he had ever done before. He needed it to be. He knew that he couldn't let himself be the guy who closed up the second someone starting getting too close. It was time for him, to coin a phrase, turn over a new leaf. He didn't know what was coming next for them, but that held the excitement of doing this relationship thing.  He wanted their lips to melt together again, and for him to be able to get lost in her taste, but as soon as their lips met again, he could tell something had changed. Immediately, a million things ran through his mind of what could have gone wrong, but the change had been so sudden, none of it seemed to add up. The only thing that made any sense at all what that maybe she thought he was a bad kisser, but he didn't think she had had a problem with it just moments before. Too much tongue? Too little? Was he holding her too tightly? Did he have a weird taste in his mouth? What had he eaten for lunch? Why hadn't he brought a toothbrush or gum or mints with him to school, today? Though the kiss was hardly more than a second long, all of those little worries had managed to course through him. He was used to fucking things up, but he had never managed to do it in that small of time. Could something like that be considered a personal best? As she pulled away, he couldn't help the small sigh that had escaped his lips as he slouched against the greenhouse and concentrated on his frayed shoelaces. Before he could apologize, though, he heard her do so, and, again, he didn't understand. He was the one who screwed things up, not her. What could she be sorry for? But before he could even ask her what was going on, she was talking about how she had to go. He didn't know where she had to go or what could possibly be more important than continuing what they had started. He opened his mouth to protest, but then shut it again before giving her a nod. He knew that one of the key things in a relationship was supposed to be trust. He met her eyes once more and gave a second nod, "Okay. Just-" he started, "Call me later or something?" he asked, trying to remain collected.

[sailormoonogen]

Imogen knew deep down Jake cared about what people thought, especially if they were the ones she listened to and cared about. It was never a secret how Bianca and Fiona felt about Luke, and they’d never approved of her friendship with Jake. He was a fling. To them, he was nothing more than a tissue to use once and forget about. Nothing of any real substance could ever form with the type of guy Jake was, and a few times she’d almost believed that. Jake wasn’t the type of person you could easily write off, and so many times he’d proven to be the greatest person she could have possibly known. Jake wasn’t like Luke, he wasn’t like any person she’d ever known: his whole life was full of sacrifices and they often went unnoticed and unappreciated, so much so that she feared he didn’t even see it that way. All she knew was looking at him, she felt like the luckiest girl alive.

Her skin tingled when his hand fully cupped her cheek and she leaned into it for a brief second. It was comforting, and her thumb unknowingly rubbed small circled around his knuckles, feeling the nicks and callouses the hard work he’d done over the years. When his lips met hers she all but melted into him.  Kisses for her had always been rough. Someone was always trying to out do the other, or worse, prove they were in charge. Luke had given few sweet kisses, and it was always heated, begging her for more than she was ready for. With Jake, it was sweet and slow, as if he savored every single second their lips were together. There was no rush, and she let herself be swept away by the feeling.

Grinning against his lips, Imogen took her unoccupied hand and knitted it in his hair, enjoying the soft feeling against her fingers, deepening the kiss ever so slightly. When she broke for air her eyes were sparkling. A giddiness welled up inside her, and she felt her grin grow wider across her face. “I’m glad you didn’t smoke it,” she admittedly quietly.

[rollerjake]

As much as he wanted for Imogen's friends to approve of him and of their relationship, he knew he wouldn't lose any sleep if they never came around. Imogen was the only one whose opinion actually mattered. And the fact that she was standing in front of him right now, and not Luke was enough for him to know what her thoughts on him were. It would be easier if everyone else approved, but he wouldn't let the people who didn't see him as more than the rebound guy affect what he had fought so hard for. He told himself that he was going to make this work, no matter what he had to do. The doe eyed girl in front of him was worth it. She had been his best friend, and now she was more than that. It almost seemed too cliched to be true. But it was. They had fought so many times, but -for him- it had always been about him wanting what was best for her, and her not seeing that that wasn't Luke. He didn't know for sure that it was him, either. But he was determined to make it so that he was. He honestly still couldn't figure out what everyone else had seen in Luke and why they were so damn determined for Imogen to stay with him. All everyone could talk about was how great Luke was and how terrible Jake was, and he didn't see it. Sure, he could see why they'd be hesitant after his reputation, but none of that explained their affinity for Luke. He didn't know if Imogen just kept all of hers and Luke's problems from her other friends, or if they chose to ignore his flaws because he looked like a washed up Backstreet Boy. But he knew that, deep down, Imogen wasn't truly happy with Luke, and he hoped beyond hope that she could be happy with him. That was all that really mattered to him. The kiss was different from their previous one. It was more electric and driven. Plus, as far as he knew, she didn't have someone else to run off to be with. It felt good and there was an essence of comfort that laced her lips that drew him in, wanting more of her. But she pulled back and he looked at her, terrified that she was going to take off again, but she just whispered her confession and he chuckled before putting the joint back in his pocket, "Yeah?" he asked, "This is much better than smoking it would have been," he told her before leaning in and pressing their lips together, again.

[sailormoonogen]

Imogen did appreciate the concern of her friends, but still, none could understand why she’d choose Jake over Luke - though Bianca did try and be supportive in a “while I want you to be happy, I also want you to know you totally deserve better and can do better without any effort” type of way. And all it had done was grate on her nerves. She didn’t want them to drive a wedge between her and Jake. She wanted so badly to give them a chance. Jake was a risk, and she knew that it could end as quickly as it began. It could boil down to kisses and sweet words, and then be done. She truly didn’t care. Jake was what she needed and what she wanted more than everything, and standing there with him, she felt the tension she’d felt all day ease away.

Her heart fluttered when his fingers brushed aside her hair. Her cheeks felt warm, and her smile blossomed. Jake always managed to do the little things that would get her. It’s why it was so hard to not fall for him. Despite what he believed, Imogen could see him for what he was: a man of little words, who wanted no big reward. He was a man of small gestures that were often overlooked, but meant something.

Looking down at his unoccupied hand, she took it in her’s, “Well I guess that depends on why you dragged me out here.” She gave him a cheeky smile as her thumb circled the palm of his hand, “We do have some Spanish homework we should probably get done. It’s a nice day for studying, don’t you think?”

[rollerjake]

Though he'd never admit it, Jake hated the way everyone else at the school saw him. He was the guy who was good for rebounds, and that was about it. And he knew that Imogen's friends were no exception to that way of thinking. Sometimes he thought that maybe they were right. Maybe he was good for a hook-up so people could forget their exes. But now that he and Imogen were together, he knew that he couldn't accept that. He refused to be just that. He needed to be more for her. He had no clue why she picked him, but she did and he needed to show her, and everyone else, that he could do this and that they would be good together. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but if Imogen saw potential in him, he needed to learn to trust that it was there.

As he looked at her, he felt a combination of nervousness and excitement. He wasn't really sure which one was more dominant. He honestly couldn't believe that everything with her was finally falling into place. It was a strange sort of sensation. He wasn't used to getting what he wanted, but now he had and he felt somewhat undeserving. He grinned as he felt her small hand in his much larger one. He knew exactly what he wanted to do. So, with his free hand, he cupped her cheek, "Well, I was hoping that we could finally do this, again," he said before closing the gap between them as his lips melted into hers.

[sailormoonogen]

After being hassled by Fiona and Bianca for a good part of her day, Imogen was glad school was finally over. She’d only been able to talk to Jake in class, considering how her two curly haired friends had decided to build a proverbial Great Wall between her and Jake out of concern for the break up. It wasn’t that she wasn’t sad. She was, but mostly, all she’d felt was guilt. And considering she and Jake hadn’t so much as talked via a text message since Saturday night, she’d had a long time to think about the Luke thing - something she wanted to push from her mind. She was with Jake. She was exactly where she wanted to be all along, so to speak.

He had texted her to meet him out by his garden after school ended, and with a quick goodbye from her friends, she left the building and sneakily made her way to his green house where she could see him leaning against the entry door, staring at a joint. 

"So are you going to smoke that thing? Or are you trying to use that troll brain of yours to set it on fire?" She asked him teasingly, though stared at it warily. Against her own wishes, seeing that made her second guess her judgement. While Luke had been far from perfect, he was still… He came with less of a risk than Jake. 

Still, the last thing she wanted to do was upset her now-boyfriend before they even began and painted on a smile, keeping her eyes into his.

[sailormoonogen]

[rollerjake]

It had been a weird day, to say the least. For it being the first official day of him and Imogen being together, he couldn't have felt further from her than before. Even when he had run off to Regina, he still felt like he could be talk to and be with the girl who had caught his attention all those months ago. But today was different. Anytime he tried to talk to her, there was someone there to cut them off. It was like the world was once again looking to drive a wedge between them. Though it was a rare occurrence for him, he currently hated the world. After unsuccessfully trying to talk to her in the halls between classes, Jake resolved to just text her to meet up with him. He preferred spontaneity, but he figured setting something up would work out better than him hoping he could break the wall of girls trying to console Imogen because of her and Luke ending things. With a quick "meet me in the garden after school," text, Jake went out the side door to wait fir her to join him, He leaned lazily against the greenhouse and eyed the door, waiting for the girl with the cat ears to come out. He thought about lighting a joint while he waited. It would be risky, but it was pretty rare for the faculty to use the side door. But then he also had concerns about what Imogen's reaction would be. She had never been the biggest fan of his little habit. He took the joint from him pocket and rolled it between his fingers, contemplating what to do when he heard the voice he had been waiting for coming his way. "Well, that would all depend on what's going to happen right now," he told her as he straightened up, no longer needing the greenhouse for support. With the unlit join still in his hand, he pushed a stray lock of hair from out of her face. Normally, he would have just leaned down and kissed her, but this was different. Imogen was completely different from any other girl he had ever been with. He felt he needed more than just a title as her boyfriend to kiss her.