roman @romansdrawingsandwritings - Tumblr Blog

i’ve decided i’m going to try and get back into writing stories and fics with, obv, my top ships and i might create some new ocs for certain one shots and such.

i’ll also start trying to be active everyday and post 10 poems/short stories a day.

lemme know what you think maybe?

#help #i have no clue what i’m doing #tumblr help me

what’s the point?

all i live for is the

silvery knife

sliding across my skin.

what’s the point?

all i’m needed for is

my body

and the things i let people do

to me.

what’s the point?

i’m only good enough

when i’m silent

with my mouth

shut.

what’s the point?

i can’t be

me.

little do you know - inspired by this break up and the song little do you know by alex and sierra

little do you know

i used to stare at you

and watch you out of the corner of my eye

little do you know

i saw

you staring

i saw

those brief glances

you’d make

at me

little do you know

how much i loved you

little do you know

how hard i tried

little do you know

how much i disguise

my love

for you

little do you know

how

you remind me

of cold winter nights

and snow covered roads

little do you know

you gave me back my winter

you gave me back

my chill

you ignited this fire

inside of me

and your dampness

put out the

chaos

and the flames

you soothed

my brightness

and i heated

your life

and raged like a

forest fire

little do you know

that i highlighted the

damage

that’d been done

to you

and you soaked

my soul

and calmed the

aggression

that threatened to

ruin

my entirety and

yours

a/n: i was inspired to write this when i was in the middle of a (TW) relapse and didn’t know what to do so like- don’t judge too hard aodjwoxnlsw

i’m a horrible person

not the kind of horrible you’re thinking of, though

you’re probably thinking of type one

(there are 2 types, in case you didn’t know)

the selfish, arrogant, ignorant, bimbo

that’s who you’re thinking of

the kind of horrible person that would spit on puppies and take candy away from a baby

the kind that doesn’t even know they’re horrible

no, see, i’m the other type

type 2

the kind of horrible person that KNOWS they’re horrible

they have good morals

or at least they try to

they always TRY to do the right thing

even though they fail miserably

this type of horrible person

well

you feel bad for them

you pity them

you see how horrible their life is

and you want to help, you do, believe me

but you know it’s no use

they’ll still end up sad or broken

or both

i’m getting off topic

anyway

where was i?

oh yea

horrible person

me

type 2

so

i’m the kind of horrible person that hurts themselves instead of others

i let people run over me and use me as much as possible

and then i cry

and cry

and manipulate them

and gaslight them

and make them feel sorry

until they actually are sorry

and then i leave

and they’re left broken

just like me

don’t ask me why i do this

because i don’t know

but that’s what i mean when i say i’m a horrible person

i do to others what’s been done to me

whether they deserve it or not

i’m terrible

evil

grotesque

malevolent

sorry.

at least i don’t kick puppies.

why don’t i ever know what to say to you?

i feel as if

you fail to realize

how much pain you cause me

i feel as if

you don’t care

about my feelings

i may be sensitive

but i’m not dumb

i can tell when i’m not wanted

and now it’s ever so clear

that my suspicions have been true

i knew i was right

my instincts did too

but i let myself get lost

in the possibility of it all

my heart

aches

and i can’t breathe

i’m short of breath

now i’m down on my knees

gasping for air

clutching my chest

not making a noise

no sound at all.

you tugged at the strings

that held me together

and they vibrated my body

until i was thrumming with liveliness

and then you casted me aside

and determined you were done

i was just an object

a distraction

and now

there’s nothing left.

i feel everything

until there’s nothing left

for me to feel

and i cry

because of how much

i feel

it’s too much

i’m too much

and i can’t help it

and this poem

has no direction

or influence

it’s simply

worthless

your words

drip down my skin

like water

they soak

into my skin

and leave me

breathless

i absorb

every syllable

you say

until i’m soaked

like a sponge

i cant think straight

you’re running through my mind

like a bird in the sky

flying higher than our eyes

can see.

i simply cannot say

any fucking thing

because writers block is shit

and i want to kill the world

the end :)

i stay up late

and get no sleep

just for you.

i get in trouble

for checking my phone

because you text.

and i don’t in the slightest

regret it.

i’d climb to the moon for you

and i’d even run through the depths of hell

if you asked me too.

i’d give you the world,

even though you already are the sun.

i’d sacrifice myself

and bleed myself dry

for you.

all

for you.

why do i always try and give people second chances? why? why do i continuously choose to give people the benefit of the doubt? i’ve been shown time and time again that it’s wrong. that people aren’t what they claim to be. yet, i still try and be a good human being. and look where it gets me. broken. hurt. alone. do i truly deserve better? or is this my punishment for my mistakes?

everythingstarstuff

as soon as i feel free and out of the spiders web

i get stuck and get dragged down again

as soon as i think i’ve finally found my place

i become aware of everything misshapen and all of the empty space

i continue to be naive and make the same mistakes

and then i pay the price while others relish in “first place”

i’m so genuinely tired of being used

and when i try to play all my cards perfectly

i again realize how much i’m actually hurting

afloweroutofstone

“MONTERO (Call Me By Your Name)” is not at all my type of music but it has been so much fun watching prominent social conservatives try and pick a fight with Lil Nas X over it just for him to just be like “I fucked your dad”