light blues crept over to the other blondeâcurves at the ends of his lipsâupon hearing her repeat his name â it resulted in making him look⌠a little goofy, admittedly. the smile he fashioned on his features⌠twisted his demeanor uncomfortably. made him look⌠weird, after a few heartbeats. it was one no one else had yet made him do⌠before itâd beenâŚcorrupted⌠but fell, quickly ( thankfully ) when he heard it⌠maybe⌠wasnât really nice to meet him. she was just being polite. itâs alright. she was being sweet, anyway. being kind even though she didnât feel kind; thatâs what mattered.Â
     compassionâs brows buckled at the sudden twist of her demeanor, however. she went, completely, from being skeptical to⌠miserable â and he was actually confused! he, personally, felt warmed by philippâs last thoughts. happy he could share them, so the apprentice could finally find peace. did rory not see it this way? to her credit, though, he did just lay⌠a lot on her, at once. never the smooth one, cole; and⌠funny⌠how he didnât⌠knowâŚ? how to handle this. odd⌠for a spirit of compassion. tall, blonde, and lanky kept his arms to himself. feeling he knew she⌠didnât⌠want to be touched. admittedly, he did want to comfort her that way, though. Â
     cole studied his victim rory closely, nearly jumped at her⌠request? sounded more like a demand, truthfully, but light blues shot down to the movement of her fingers â and he⌠didnât⌠know what to say. he was waiting to listen, actually, but⌠she was too angry, too sad. it was pointless. did heâdid he do the right thing? â âŚno, donât you see? â the spirit started up, suddenly feeling that⌠yes, he did do the right thing! did make the right choice! compassion also⌠dared touch her, gently placing his thumbs on the insides of her elbows to both get her attention and show her he wasnât the one she should be afraid of. Â
      â you made his death easier. i know itâs hard⌠but without you, he would still be trapped here. instead? instead he can leave! and if i were him, iâd wish i could leave, too. he loved you, rory, and not only did you help him in this life, but you helped him cross over into the next! â
     oh, compassion felt⌠very⌠passionately⌠about this. hopefully, his â passion â wouldn't scare her; he eased off, anyway. it was never easy to let someone go â and it was that hurt cole often tried⌠too often to heal; and too often, it was a hurt he just⌠simplyâŚÂ couldnât. the caring spirit attempted to do it again, unfortunately. with this particular one, however, he felt⌠personally⌠close to. dangerous. philipp was a mage. a mage who had not been made tranquil, but slain, by the templars. it was â out of mercy â, the stated officially, â during his harrowing. he was going to become an abomination! â no! it was a murder! a slaying during a harrowing was⌠almostâŚÂ as bad as-as forgetting a-a poor boy in the⌠the prisons of a circle tower!!
     rory had always prided herself on her sense of compassion - on her unwavering belief that kindness was a valid response even in the face of hate and anger, on her conviction that cruelty did not have to be returned in kind - but... there were days of struggle nonetheless. days where she doubted her decisions, herself, her entire belief system; she wondered, sometimes, whether she was in the right of it at all, or if all her talk of bravery in softness was just another broken coping mechanism, the same way people built up walls or drank away their troubles. she doubted herself now, too. her eyes fell to the ground, quivering and tear-marred. the way cole had spoken philippâs words - had he been scared? afraid? alone? her hands shook at her sides and she pressed them hard against her lap, willing them to still - and suddenly coleâs hands were on her arms, stabling them, and her gaze shot up in reflex. âwhat - â she started, but she wasnât given the chance to finish as he spoke.
     philipp can... leave? rory suppressed a sniffle, her eyes searching coleâs for answers she wasnât sure he had. sheâd never thought about that sort of alternative; about philipp being trapped between here and the after. something not unlike discomfort crossed her features - she would never see death as a mercy, in any life, but she had not considered it could have been even worse. with a shaky sigh, rory considered the rest of coleâs words, teeth gnawing against her inner cheek. had she really done enough? been enough? uncertainty crept into her throat and settled in her belly, but cole seemed adamant. perhaps more so than any regular bystander, spirit or no; again, she looked him in the eye, and this time she wondered how much of his grief was for her - or for something heâd lost.
     hands still trembling, she reached up to mimic coleâs grip on her with her own hold, though her hands rested gently against the outer side of his upper arms. âi...â her voice shook when she spoke. how do you speak to someone after that? after they delved into your head and tore out your deepest hurts, laid them bare before you both? her thumbs brushed idly against his sleeves as she thought over her words. when her voice rose again, it spilled out in a quiet, broken laugh. âi always believed philipp was the stronger mage, out of the two of us. i still do.â her admittance comes with a shameful duck of her head. âhe - he shouldnât have had to go that way. he deserved better.â with a deep breath, she let go of cole, deciding instead to fidget with the ends of her hair. it took her a moment, but after a beat, she met his eyes again. âdid you... know someone like that?â tentatively, a palm reached out again toward the other blondâs face - but instead of pinching his cheek, her fingertips brushed at the hair half-concealing his eyes. she wanted to hear his answer, and she wanted it to be the truth. it was easier to determine when matching someoneâs gaze. while normally she wouldâve been shyer, more respectful of his privacy and intrusion thereof, she felt... lost, after what heâd pulled from her head. vulnerable. she wanted to anchor herself again, and thought the question would help. even so, propriety caught up with her, and she withdrew her hand quickly. âiâm sorry.â she wasnât sure what for.